Justin's Journey

My name is Justin. I’m a 5’10” 150 lbs slim white guy with brown hair. I’m your average twink. I have some tone and definition in my body because I stay active, but I’m pretty scrawny.

For background, I grew up in the suburbs outside a big city but went to college in a small conservative town in the Midwest (it was a cheap school and really good for engineering). Going off to college was a big step for me. I grew up with a very conservative father and my high school was not known for being kind to gay kids. Needless to say, despite knowing I was gay at the age of 12, I didn’t come out in my hometown. I focused on school and did very well. I had fun, but I never experimented with my sexuality.

Leaving for college meant that I would be away from literally everyone I knew. I had no other high school friends attending the university with me and it was 4 hours from home. So I hoped this would be my chance to really come into my own.

Something about the freedom of being on my own and also being surrounded by so many guys (as an engineering school, we had a much higher population of dudes than chicks) made my hormones go crazy. Most of the guys were corn fed farm boys from rural areas around the school so they weren’t too keen on gay people or really any minorities for that matter. But as long as you didn’t flirt with them or be too “gay”, they seemed to live and let live. Which was fine for me. I wouldn’t say I’m the most masculine guy, but my typical outfit is converse, jeans, and a black hoodie. I’ve never been one for style and I liked to keep it simple. The point is, it meant I was able to subtly look at all the eye candy without stirring up trouble for myself.

During orientation week, we did all sorts of group activities outside. Tons of guys in athletic shorts and tanks running around. I found myself staring at all the big arms, beefy legs, and brick jaws. I immediately tried to befriend the girls in my group, knowing that I would blush if I had to talk to any of the guys. Once the semester started, I found myself daydreaming about certain guys in my classes. It was much harder to focus here than in high school. But still, I didn’t act on any of these thoughts for a while.

I actually went my whole first semester without so much as flirting with a guy. But I did manage to come out to the friends I’d made. To which they responded “Cool, good for you”. No one seemed to really care which was a huge relief considering what I’d seen in my hometown. But also weirdly offensive. Like, I know this doesn’t affect you very much but it’s a really big deal for me. Can I get a round of applause, or a celebratory shot or something? I repressed myself for so many years that I guess I wanted it to be a bigger moment.

Anyway, eventually I went home for Thanksgiving and came out to my family. Who surprisingly took it rather well, except my dad. He and I had never been close and he’d always made comments about “fags” and “queers”. So he essentially wrote me off. Thankfully, my parents are divorced so I was able to stay with my mom. The situation with my dad, while not surprising, really messed me up mentally and emotionally. I know losing parental relationships is normal for gay people, but it still sucked.

During Thanksgiving break, I was excited to get on all the dating apps. I had tried at school, but it was a small conservative town. It was slim pickings. Once I was back by the city, my prospects were much better. I was finally able to flirt with guys and feel like maybe I wouldn’t die alone and a virgin.

Of course, one of the apps I downloaded was Grindr, which led to a lot of discovery for me as a baby gay. I got exposed to a lot and boy was I loving it. I was on my phone 24/7. Sexting with multiple guys at a time, I had to tuck my hard-on into my belt loop so it wouldn’t be so obvious when I’m laying on the couch. One guy, Charlie, really peaked my interest. He was the same height as me and pretty average build. More muscle than me, but not jacked. To be honest, he’s a very average looking guy, but it wasn’t his looks that captivated me. He had a way about him where he could have good genuine conversation and then throw in these extremely hot comments that would give me a stirring. I was completely infatuated with him. All I wanted to do was talk with him. We had some spicy conversations, but nothing too crazy. He just came across as very dominant, which I was very drawn to.

Unable to see him in person during the week I was in town, I left and went back to school for the last bit of the semester. All the while, Charlie and I stayed in touch while most of the other guys dropped off. Charlie was a pilot which was not only super hot, but also meant that he was used to being away from home a lot and therefore playing the long game with guys to try to keep them interested.

As the semester wrapped up and I went home for a month for winter break, Charlie was also back home for the holidays. His family lived about an hour away but he said he wanted to come pick me up and take me on a proper date, since I’d never been on one with a guy before. My mom thought the idea was super cute, even if it was with a guy that was 5 years older than me.

He drove the whole way out to see me, picked me up from my mom’s house and drove me to dinner. We had great conversation and he paid, thankfully because I’m a broke college student and didn’t have much in my bank account. Then we went to see a movie. He pushed the armrest up between us so we could cuddle a bit. I couldn’t focus on the movie at all, I was so nervous. I could feel my hands shaking out of nervousness. He had his arm around me and I leaned in to him. I scanned the room to see if any people were looking at us funny, but no one seemed to care or notice. That helped me relax a bit. He held my hand for a while, eventually pulling it away to adjust his pants at the crotch and then resting it on his leg. I kept glancing down at his bulge, wondering if that was his subtle way of giving me a hint. I was so inexperienced I had no idea what to do. My mind was racing and I was so nervous still. I rested one of my hands on his leg and left it there. He seemed content and kept watching the movie.

The movie ended and we got up to walk to his car. Most of my nerves had subsided at that point. However, the second we got in the car, I felt the mood change. He smirked at me and said “God, you’re so cute”. I smiled back at him. He asked if I was in a hurry to get home and I told him not really. That’s when he reached his arm over and placed his hand on the back of my neck. Grabbing it and squeezing it, but carrying on with conversation as if it were normal. My heart started to beat so fast. After another minute or two, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “Do you wanna suck my dick”? I timidly replied yes, nodding my head a little. He said “Go ahead then” as he squeezed the back of my neck and forced my head to his lap. I fumbled to get his belt undone and his pants unzipped. Then he reached down with his left hand and pulled at the elastic waistband of his underwear. Out popped a thick, fully erect 6” cock. Not scary by any means, but slightly bigger than mine, which made me happy. He let go of my neck as if to let me go the rest of the way by myself. I looked at it for a few seconds and then slowly moved my mouth over the tip of it. I tasted a man’s cock for the first time and I loved it. The musk of his body was intoxicating. I moved my mouth further down, exploring the depth of my own throat. His shaft wasn’t too long, but it was thick. So I wasn’t so much worried about my throat as I was my jaw.

I continue to work on him for about a minute and then I hear the car start. I immediately tried to sit up, feeling very confused. I felt his hand press my head right back down. “No no, you keep sucking, I’m going to find us a better spot”. He drove around trying to find a new parking lot with less people around. I remember feeling all sorts of things. I was scared he’d hit something, but I was also in awe of this man that is being so dominant, yet kind of patient with me. I could also feel my own dick pulsing at this point I was so hard.

I felt the car come to a stop. The car turned off and then Charlie leans his seat back a bit. He starts running his fingers through my hair.

“Mmmm yeah that’s a good boy, suck daddy’s cock for him”

After a few more minutes, he reached his right hand over and slid it down the back of my pants. I felt his middle finger glide between my cheeks and stop at my hole. He slowly began to rub his finger on the rim of my hole. I shifted my body to give him better access and to let him know I was enjoying it. He pulled his hand out and I could hear him spit on his fingers. He then went right back down there, massaged it for a few seconds, and then pushed his finger inside me. I pulled my mouth off his cock and let out a little moan. He forced my head down again, this time all the way down until my nose was smashed into his pelvis.

“Fuck yeah, keep working on daddy’s dick while he plays with your hole”

I gagged a bit as I struggled to breathe. He kept forcing my head down and held it still as he popped a second finger inside my tight hole and slowly moved them around, waiting for me to get used to it and relax. This continued for another 10 minutes or so until he abruptly pulled his hand out of my pants and quickly grabbed my neck again to pull my head up.

Confused, a bit disoriented, and with tears streaming down my cheeks, I look at him. I was barely able to make out what’s happening. Someone was approaching the car. Charlie pulled his pants up a bit and pulled his shirt down to cover his manhood. I tried my best to shimmy my pants back up since Charlie had pushed them down to my mid thighs by that point. The man approaching the car was a cop. He walked up to Charlie’s side of the car and shined his light inside. He could see me frantically trying to get my hard dick shoved back in my pants. The cop paused for a second, realizing what he interrupted. He looks to Charlie and says “This is the only car in the lot, just making sure nothing going on that shouldn’t be”. Charlie quickly replied “Nope, just got turned around so we stopped to look up directions”. The cop didn’t seem to buy it but I imagine he also wanted to get out of there as soon as he could so he said “Sounds good, you two get home safe” and quickly walked away.

Charlie looked at me with a grimace. I was terrified and it was probably written all over my face. As soon as the cop pulled out of the parking lot, Charlie reached over to grab my neck again.

“You’ll have to be quick now, come on finish daddy off”

He forced me over, slid his cock in my mouth again, and then to the back of my throat. He pressed my head down all the way and held it for a few seconds before grabbing two handfuls of my hair and aggressively bouncing my head up and down on his lap. I gagged almost every time he hit the back of my throat. It wasn’t but a minute later that his breathing got heavier and I knew what was coming. I didn’t know what to do.

“Take daddy’s load, boy”

He commanded as he held my head in place. I felt shot after shot of his warm goo pump into my mouth. At first I was taken back by the taste, but then I decided it wasn’t too bad and I swallowed. I couldn’t believe what I just did. I thought sketchy car stuff was only something that happened in porn. But there I was, and it was incredible. He told me to clean him off as he moved my head up and down just a few more times. Then he released me. I lifted my head up and I could feel the swelling in my face. I still had tears rolling down my cheeks and a little snot dripping from my nose. I wipe off my face and look at Charlie. He started the car.

“What a good little bitch boy”

The conversation on the ride home was quite normal. To be honest, I was only half paying attention because I couldn’t stop reliving the experience in my head. Once we were maybe 5 minutes from home, he started undoing his pants again. I paused and looked at him. He said “You know, I don’t think you’ll get fed another load, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get some practice in”. I smile back at him. All I could think about from the moment I swallowed his seed was when I’d be able to do it again. I was already getting my second chance. The fact that he already wanted to be in my throat again had me overjoyed. This time, I could tell he wasn’t quite as stiff as before. He still grew to full size in my mouth, but it felt less rigid. Not quite the rock that it was before and I honestly preferred it this way. I decided to use this as a learning opportunity and I worked on my breathing. His cock flexed a little more this time, allowing it to bend just ever so slightly to really get down in my throat. I spent the last minutes of the ride trying to learn how to breathe through my nose while he pushed my head down repeatedly. My entire face was being smashed against his pelvis over and over again. The sensation, the smell, the nerves, I loved all of it. Just as I thought I was getting the hang of breathing through it, the car came to a stop.

I nervously pulled my head up fast, hoping my mom could not see us from the window. She thought the first date idea was so cute and wholesome, I didn’t want her to see that I was servicing Charlie on the ride home. I look back at Charlie.

“This was fun. You were a good little bitch for daddy. Now wipe the tears away before you go inside”

I wiped my face and gathered myself before leaving the car. Charlie stayed there until I got to the door. Once I opened it I looked back, he waved, and then drove off.

Over the next few years of my college experience, Charlie and I would keep in touch and send nudes back and forth, but that would be the last time I see him in person for many years.

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Next chapter:
I move back to college and have my first relationship. The sexual exploration continues as I discover my desire for submission.