It's Christmas Again

≈ IT’S CHRISTMAS AGAIN ≈

~ Where it all begun ~

My beloved Cameron,

It’s Christmas again. It was Christmas time when we first met, do you remember? I love Christmas! But it wasn’t always like that. How many Christmases I spent alone, just waiting for the festivities to end? Countless. Thinking about it, I actually can count them: when we met it was my 42nd Christmas.

I’ve never been as gorgeous as you, I don’t hit the gym every other day like you, I don’t have your chiseled abs and your powerful glutes, but I’m not chopped liver, if I may say it myself. I’m lean and flexible… something you came to appreciate a lot, over time. And apparently, I have “beautiful blue eyes as deep as the Ocean”, according to what you always say to me. You were quite surprised when I told you I was going to spend the Christmas alone and asked me why.

And then I told you the truth. For the first time in my life I told you, the new tenant of this huge condo, a total stranger, what I never admitted even to myself, much less to my relatives and friends: I was gay. For too many years I had denied my true nature, but at 42 I had to face that there was something wrong in me.

“There’s nothing wrong in you” – you told me, looking at me with such adoring eyes that still today I feel shivers down my spine – “You are just perfect the way you are”. And when you saw me sitting there on the sofa, beside you, totally speechless, you leaned to me and gave me the most tender and passionate kiss of my whole life. My head was spinning: I just invited you in my apartment an hour earlier, to let you rest after the move, I didn’t mean… I couldn’t imagine… And now your tongue, full of life and passion, was greedily exploring every inch of my mouth, you were sharing your breath with me, and I melted into your arms.

But my damn mind couldn’t rest, I wish I could’ve had a switch to turn it off! With a gasp I jumped away, scared of what happened, as I was not ready to… totally change my life, my quiet, boring, comforting life. Love had never found a place into my heart so far, because I just couldn’t fall in love with a woman and I’d never let myself fall in love with a man. Whatever was happening to me, I didn’t know how to manage it. I said something totally stupid, like “This can’t be, you’d better go” and you blushed crimson red and fled away mumbling embarrassed excuses.

It took me hours to understand that I was throwing my life out of the window just like I threw you out of my door. It was late in the night when I finally got off the sofa where you left me and went in search of you. I knocked at your door, and I heard you moving inside, but you didn’t answer, because you knew it was me.

I begged you to open the door, to forgive me, but you were too hurt. And I couldn’t blame you: why on earth should you have wasted your time with the crazy tenant from downstairs you barely knew? But everything was clear for me – for the first time in my life all was crystal clear – and I told you “Cameron, please, it’s not too late to mend it. But tomorrow will be. If you send me away now, we both won’t be granted another chance”.

I heard the lock click, and the door to my… to our new life opened up.

~ A new life ~

I don’t know what inspired you back then, Cameron, but how different and sad could’ve been our lives if you didn’t open that door! I looked at you wearing only your pajama pants, my eyes wandered over your chiseled torso, your perfect abs, your bulging pecs and I felt my cock stirring into my pants.

You were a man – and what a man! – and I loved you, I wanted you, no matter what. I finally found the switch to turn off my stupid rational mind. I threw myself into your arms so hard that we fell on the carpet, and I kissed you hungrily, desperately, 42 years of denial finally finding their way out. I was no more the man I used to be that morning. You changed me forever.

After a while – for me, it was an eternity – you recoiled and stood up, pulling me with you. You took me by hand to your bedroom and I felt breathless: you wanted… you surely wanted to… but I’d never…

“You are a virgin, aren’t you?” – you told me with a loving smile, while your hands slowly unbuttoned my shirt – “You have nothing to worry about. And… you’d better breathe, now”. This is why I love you so much, my wonderful Cameron: you always find the way to ease my tension, to make me laugh and get rid of my stupid inhibitions. And I did laugh that night, while you finished undressing me, but I stopped laughing when you dropped your pajama pants. You were perfect, your body exuded manliness from every pore, your half-hard circumcised cock was long and thick, with a wide pink helmet, and your low-hanging balls were big and inviting.

“You can touch” – you said with a knowing grin, seeing me staring at such a piece of manhood, and you were a bit surprised when you saw me kneeling in front of you and engulf your growing cock into my mouth.

I closed my eyes and for a long moment my world was that fat silky helmet that I was exploring with my tongue. Its taste was intoxicating and I couldn’t have enough of it. I didn’t even try to take it all like I’d seen in the porn movies, I knew I couldn’t do that (but as you know well, I quickly became an expert in that department, later on!). Every time you moaned with pleasure I felt my cock twitch and grow harder.

And then you pulled me on my feet and gently pushed me on the bed, on my back. I didn’t put up any resistance, as by then I was totally in your hands, come what may. The light was dim, I didn’t really see what you were doing, I only felt your fingers, slick with lubricant sneak inside my hole gently, cautiously, caressing me in ways I’d never experienced. Oh, I had fingered myself sometimes, but that was something completely different. I kept my eyes shut and my legs up in the air, enjoying the intense inner massage, when suddenly you withdrew your fingers and replace them with the tip of your cock.

My eyes snapped open and I looked at you, a bit scared, but again your loving eyes soothed my tension. Looking at you I knew there was nothing to worry about, I wanted you with every fiber of my being and I instinctively relaxed, welcoming your hot rod inside me. I felt it slowly moving further and further, and it seemed endless! Places inside me never touched before were caressed and filled by your invading cock, until I felt your pubes pressing hard against my perineum.

You saw tears flowing down my eyes and asked me if you were hurting me; but they were not tears of pain: feeling joined to you in such an intimate and complete way was just emotionally overwhelming for me. I never felt like that, I never imagined it could feel like that, and I wanted it to never end.

I watched in awe at you body swaying over me, at your concentrated expression, at your muscle all working in unison to give me the most sensational experience of my life. Your cock was as hard as steel, but touched me tenderly, pressing buttons inside me that sent shivers of pleasure throughout my body. I felt my own cock jerk spasmodically and I knew – incredible as it may seem ­– that I was about to explode without even touching myself.

“I… I’m…” – I begun, but I didn’t need to finish my phrase: “Me too…” – you breathed, and then you tensed and stood still for a moment, and when I felt your cock pulse deep inside me, filling my depths with your essence, I lost control of myself and my cock erupted like a volcano, drenching my hairy chest with my own semen.

~ The Merriest Christmas ~

I woke up the next morning like I was living a dream… a dream that I’m living still now, while writing you this letter, my sweet Cameron. How crazy we’ve been, back then, when we suddenly decided that you should’ve moved to my apartment – why pay two rents? Rationally, we said to each other that you were new in town, that you never actually lived in that apartment… but man, were we crazy! Crazy with love, but crazy nevertheless. We made a bet on our destiny, on our future, and we both won that bet, as after so many years we still live here and still love each other crazily.

That first Christmas was unforgettable, you insisted to buy a tree and decorate it, and I dusted off the recipe of my granny’s Christmas Turkey. We went shopping, and for the first time I really felt the Christmas vibes around me. It was the Merriest Christmas of my whole life. Do you remember that old Santa entertaining the children in the general store? You saw me putting a folded paper in his bag and asked me what I wrote on it. I never told you, because if you reveal your wish it may not happen. But now I can tell you, because my wish has already been granted in full. I wrote: “Dear Santa, please make this happiness never end, because I love him”.

And that was just the first of many happy and joyful Christmases! I still remember like it was yesterday that Christmas when we went to Paris. You didn’t want to go, at first, because it was a long journey, all over to France, but you didn’t regret, when we arrived there! I knew Paris, I had already been there several times, but I lived again its magic through your marveled eyes. The long boulevards sparkling with lights, the Eiffel Tower illuminated in blue, white and red, the cozy bistrots where we ate delicious food and sweets.

And that hotel where we stayed, cheap as it was (we couldn’t spend more back then!) felt like a palace to us. Most people complain about the French size beds being too small for two persons, but for us it just added to our pleasure. The first night we slept there, no matter how hard we tried, we always ended up pressed against each other. I actually think you did it on purpose!

You wanted to make love, but I (always the party crusher!) protested I was tired. You said “OK, good night then”, and leaned over to kiss me, but instead of my mouth, your lips closed around my nipple. You suckled on it and darted your tongue over its very tip, and I instantly got hard! I felt your sex pressing against my leg, your warm body pressing against mine, and suddenly a fire started consuming me. You’ve always known how to turn me on! But that night you turned me on more than you intended to. In that anonymous hotel, in a stranger metropolis, all my inhibitions dropped and I wanted you like never before.

I rose on my knees and bent over, with my chest on the mattress and my ass in the air, and I spread my legs so wide that I heard you gasp, looking with lust at my hole, offered to you so openly and shamelessly. That night you discovered how flexible I am and how hungry for your cock I can sometimes be. “Fuck me, Cal… Fuck me hard! I want you like never, let me feel it!” – I told you, and if my blatant invite sounded like a script from a cheap porn movie, you didn’t seem to notice, because in less than a second your underwear was flying to the floor and your burning hot cock was pressed against my hole.

You didn’t use lube, just spit, and I knew it would hurt, but that’s what I asked for! And still – you’re such a gentleman, I’ve always told you! – when you entered me you didn’t painfully impale me, but you restrained your lust and invaded me with a long steady thrust that gave me very little pain and a great pleasure. You placed your hands on my hips, to keep me in place while you pounded me hard, and gave it to me, like I asked for. Damn, you did give it to me! Your cock reached so deep inside me that I felt filled up to the brim with hot throbbing meat. Your manliness was overwhelming, in that moment I existed only to give you pleasure, and I squeezed hard my ass muscles to milk your cock, making you roar with lust.

For a moment I thought I was biting more than I could chew, as your pounding became frantic, but not for a single moment you stopped being the wonderful man you are, because at my first moan of distress you slowed down and bent over to kiss the nape of my neck, sending shivers of pleasure down my spine. I knew you were on the verge of your climax and whispered “Go all the way, stud, fill me with your juice!”, and my dirty talking sent you through the roof. Boy, your orgasm seemed to never end! I was happy, as your pleasure has always been my pleasure, and I didn’t need anything else.

But when you pulled out of my ass, and regained your breath, you pushed me down on my back, took hold of my still hard cock and gulped it down your throat in one swift motion. Now, I’m not hung like a horse, but watching you taking my proud six-and-half hard inches all the way without the slightest hesitation totally blew me. It took just few strokes for me to blow my load deep down your throat.

I was astonished, as it was the hardest and most passionate sex we’d ever had, and I still was surprised at myself… and you!

We looked deeply into each other’s eyes for a long silent moment, and then you said: “Well, I think I like Paris, after all…” and we both burst into loud laughter!

~ Love for the eternity ~

Yes, that was a memorable Christmas…

And then Christmas came again, and again and again, and every year we enjoyed it like children, surprising each other with little presents hidden under the pillow or under a dish, lighting up our beautiful Christmas tree and basking in the festive vibes of the town.

Year after year, the magic of the Christmas never ceased to amaze us, while our hair became gray, your abs became… um… less sculpted, my belly grew bigger and our skin got covered with wrinkles. But I still love you like the first day, Cam. No, better: I love you much more! We’ve spent our life together, we could grow old together: what more could we ask for? Our love proved to be stronger than the passing time, so you can easily believe me when I say that I will love you for the eternity. And, at this point, I know what I’m talking about.

Yours forever

-- Mitch

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cameron raised his eyes from the letter but he was not quick enough to prevent a tear from falling down and add a wet mark to the other ones already on the sheet. He stood up, carefully folded the letter and put it back in the small drawer of Mitch’s desk, where he found it the day they buried him, on a gloomy and rainy Christmas eve. One Christmas let Mitch enter his life, one Christmas took him away from him.

“Why on earth I go through this every Christmas…” – he thought, but he already knew the answer: he still loved Mitch like crazy, and three years without him didn’t lessen in any way his love, nor his pain.

Cameron turned around and looked at the apartment, where Mitch invited him to come in many years before to rest just few minutes, and then he stayed for the rest of his life. In a corner of the room, the tall Christmas tree sparkled with light and decorations: Cameron never quit this tradition, despite the sadness that now veiled the festive atmosphere; decorating the tree, like they did together for years, made him feel Mitch closer.

He looked at himself in the wall mirror, noticed his receding hairline and his forehead crossed by wrinkles and sighed: despite his effort to keep in shape, time had taken an obvious toll over him. But Mitch seemed not to notice it. Until the last day he’d always looked at him with adoring eyes, full of love and even a sparkle of lust, that neither the age nor the illness could put out.

Now that he was about to turn seventy-five, Cameron felt old. Inside, he still felt like the lean, chiseled guy who met Mitch on the day he moved to that big condo, but the mirror didn’t lie: he’d grown old. But Mitch was right, they had grown old together, they shared a love that shone bright for many long years, as strong as the first day. What more could he ask for?

Cameron knew that sooner or later their life would’ve come to an end, and he was glad that Mitch was the first to go, as this way he was spared by the pain that Cameron had to bear. Somehow, somewhere they will be reunited, when Cameron’s moment would’ve come.

“It’s Christmas again, Mitch” – Cameron said aloud, looking with loving eyes at Mitch’s picture on the bookcase – “and I’ll love you for the eternity”.

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