I looked at Paul, and the cloud of lust and the moment of passion slowly faded away. He seemed so innocent, so young, and I felt a stinging shame for what we had done. What had I done to this boy? What deep chasm of loneliness led me to use him to fulfill my needs? What I did, what we did, was wrong, and I should have stopped it. Now, I was feeling the consequences rushing over me.
“Are you ok?” Paul asked, breaking me free of my thoughts. My semi-hard dick slid from his hole as I moved to untangle us. I sat with my back to Paul on the edge of the bed, running my hand through my hair. I couldn’t face his anger at me for what I did. I couldn’t stand to see him accusing me of what I had done.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meekly. For what I had done, “sorry” seemed pathetic. In my head, I kept repeating, “Sorry that I took advantage of you. Sorry that I used you to fulfill my selfish needs. I'm sorry that I did things to you that I had never even considered doing with a man before.”
I felt Paul’s hand on my back, sending a shock through me. Instinctively, I jerked away from his touch. “It’s ok. I wanted it too,” he said, trying to comfort me. His words confused me. There was no sign of regret or remorse, no anger toward me for what I had done to him. As I considered his acceptance, I felt some of my remorse lighten.
“I’ve never done that before,” I said, after a few very quiet moments. “I’m not like that. I never did anything even close to it with, you know…” I couldn’t finish the word. “With a guy?” Paul said, and his voice raised slightly. “Does it matter? Does it matter that much who you are with if it means something?” Paul asked, his voice becoming more animated.
I heard what he was saying, and I could easily tell myself that it didn’t mean anything. That I didn’t feel needed and desired in that moment. That I didn’t feel a short reprieve from my loneliness and isolation. I couldn’t deny that I did feel something. Something I lacked for more than I could remember, even before the divorce, even before the marriage, maybe ever. For the moment, we were connected as one, and the emptiness didn’t feel so empty.
The phone rang, breaking me out of the contemplations that were running through my head. “Morning, Harlan,” Brad said cheerily into the phone. The clock showed 7:23 AM on the small, illuminated screen. It was almost time to prepare for the day's store opening. “We have to keep the store closed today. The storm did a number on the streets, and the state police are asking everyone to stay off the roads,” Brad informed me.
“Ok, yeah, we lost power, it still isn’t back up. I heard the generators power up in the store, so I think the coolers should be ok. I will go check on them,” I said, glad I didn’t need to work. “Ok, stay in and stay safe. Hopefully, power will be restored soon,” Brad hung up the phone, and the room became quiet again.
“I guess we should figure something out for breakfast,” I said, changing the subject. I wasn’t ready to discuss what happened again, if ever. I got dressed quickly and went down the stairs that led to the store, checking the refrigerated cases. The generator was working, and the cases remained cold. I grabbed some breakfast foods that I could cook or heat on my gas stove and went back upstairs.
While I was gone, Paul made the bed and dressed in the oversized T-shirt and sweatpants that I had lent him, and he was sitting quietly on the sofa. “Here you go,” I said, handing him a toothbrush I grabbed from the store. “Help yourself to whatever you need in the bathroom,” I added, going to the kitchen with the supplies.
I found a pot to boil water for coffee. The electric coffee pot would be useless, but I still had the pour-over coffee maker that was left in the apartment. As the water boiled, I put a skillet on the heat to start cooking some scrambled eggs and bacon that I had taken from the store.
Paul came out of the bathroom, his attempt at brushing his hair still left it a bit tousled, and I felt a smile that I quickly suppressed. Paul joined me at the counter, and we quietly ate the eggs and bacon, washing them down with coffee. Paul helped me clear the table and insisted on washing the dishes while I went to shower.
I didn’t really pay attention when I was dressing to get the food that my body was coated in cum in different states, between wet and sticky, and dry and crusty. I tossed my clothes on the floor and turned on the water. As I waited for it to get hot, I examined my reflection in the mirror, watching my hand traveling over my abs and into the wet cum spots. I thought about my experience, about how it felt to slide my dick into Paul. How incredible it felt to have him wrapped around my body.
I thought about how intense it was, how every part of my body seemed alive, the pure joy of the act. How Paul just seemed to fit against my body. I tried to recall a similar feeling with my wife or with any woman I had ever been with, and nothing seemed to come to mind. This was a new level of ecstasy that I didn’t even know I was capable of experiencing.
I showered quickly and returned to the living room, a towel wrapped around my waist. Paul was trying to remove his clothes from the machine, even though they were still wet. “What are you doing?” I asked while watching him. “I've got to get out of here,” He replied. “And go where? The streets are frozen, and your clothes are wet. Where do you think you can go?” I asked, trying to stay calm.
Paul didn’t respond; he went about removing the T-shirt and sweatpants and attempted to pull on his wet clothes. “Stop!” I said, sharply standing behind him and preventing him from pulling on his wet sweatshirt. “I gotta go, I gotta go,” he repeated frantically, trying to break away. I wrapped myself around him and held his body to mine. Holding his arms so he couldn’t break away, trying to calm him.
“Shh. It’s ok,” I said softly. Paul’s body went slack, and I could tell he was crying. “Thanks, you were nice to me, but I have to go,” he said, his voice cracking a bit. “Go where?” I asked softly. “I don’t know. Nowhere. I have nowhere to go,” Paul said.
“Stay here now, and we will figure it out,” I said, not really knowing what was going to happen but knowing that he couldn’t go out in wet clothes in this weather. I could feel Paul relax as I held him, then I turned him to face me. Tears stained his cheeks, and his eyes were red from crying. Looking into his eyes, I wiped away the tears with my fingers.
Paul gave me a sad, forced smile, and a cold shiver washed over his naked body. I took Paul by the hand and led him to the bed, so that he could warm up. Pulling back the blanket, I indicated for him to get under the covers. Paul moved across the bed, pulling the thick comforter over his naked body, but held the end open, waiting for me to join him.
I allowed the towel to fall to the floor, then I moved on to the bed and lay beside him on my back, my head propped up on the pillows. Paul lowered the blanket covering both of us. “Thank you,” he said softly. We lay side by side, not touching each other, for several long minutes. The situation felt awkward, and I tried to control my labored breathing.
Paul moved his body over my arm and lay his head on my chest. His hair brushed my chin, and I breathed in his scent. I brought my arm up and ran my fingers through his tangled hair, and we lay silently together.
I could feel the heat coming off of Paul’s body as it rested quietly against mine. My breathing calmed, and I was content just being there in the warmth and silence of the moment. Paul placed his hand in the center of my chest and made soft circular movements as he glided his hand across my skin. His hand moved over my pec, and his fingers brushed my nipple, causing me to flex my chest.
With the tip of his finger, he ran it over the nipple again, this time with more purpose. Each pass caused an involuntary action as my body reacted to the sensation. Paul nuzzled closer, and as he moved, I could feel his dick touching my leg and thigh. He began making slow, intentional movements, pressing his hardening cock against me.
With my free hand, I reached over and touched Paul’s cock. It was hard and thicker than I realized, and it felt strange in my hand. Beneath the blanket, I began to explore his cock, running my hand up and down, touching the base and the head, and sliding my thumb over the piss slit. I noticed that the way I touched it caused slightly different reactions. When I squeezed it, Paul seemed to suck in a breath. When I stroked it, Paul moaned, and when I ran my finger over the tip, it caused his body to jerk.
I felt a strange power and control in what I was doing, and I felt my own cock getting hard. With a swift movement, I pushed back the blankets, uncovering both of us. I wanted to see his cock. I wanted to touch it and watch his reactions. I pulled my arm out under Paul, and he lay flat on the bed watching me.
I had no plan for what I was going to do; I was driven by curiosity and exploration. I ran my fingers over Paul’s smooth chest. I could feel the ridges of lean muscle as I trailed between his pecs, then over the ridges in his abs, exploring them visually and tactually. My fingers touched the soft nest of pubic hair that surrounded his hard cock. It was strange looking at him as if I were disconnected and watching some video, but it wasn’t a video; it was real. My fingers roved and traveled down one side of his cock, then brushed against one of his testicles. Paul watched me intensely as I explored him.
With my forefinger and thumb, I took hold of his cock, clear wet liquid formed at the tip, and when I gave his cock a gentle squeeze, more seemed to ooze out. I ran my thumb through it, and Paul arched his back and moaned. “Do you like that?” I asked as part of my exploratory. “Yes!” Paul hissed.
Paul moved his hand to the precum and wiped some up with his fingers, then he brought them to my mouth. I stared at him, wondering what he was trying to do. “Taste it,” he said, bringing his fingers to my lips. I hesitated for a moment, then stuck my tongue out and licked his fingers.
The precum was slick, slightly salty, and also slightly sweet. Paul pulled his fingers back, then gathered more precum and once again placed it before me. This time, I didn’t hesitate, and I sucked Paul’s fingers into my mouth, tasting his precum. After a moment, Paul pulled his finger from my mouth and scooped up more precum; however, instead of placing his finger on my tongue, he licked it up, stuck out his tongue, and waited. I bent down and covered Paul’s mouth with mine, and his tongue darted forward, and he allowed me to suck the precum from him.
Paul’s cock throbbed in my hand as we continued the kiss. He began thrusting his hips up, driving his cock into my hand. I pulled my lips from Paul’s to watch him. There was a desire and urgency on his face as he lifted his hips and jabbed his hardness at me.
I removed my hand from his cock, and a frustrated sigh escaped his mouth. I watched as his expression seemed to plead with me to continue. This seemed to drive an exciting sense of control in me that ignited something I hadn’t felt before.
I reached for Paul’s cock again, and his expression once more changed from frustration to anticipation. I began to stroke it slowly, feeling the ridges of his hard shaft slide against my palm. Once again, Paul began to thrust into my hand as if he were fucking it. More precum pooled at the tip. I smeared someone with my hand and began to slide it down the shaft. This caused Paul to moan even louder.
Once again, I removed my hand. Paul shot me an intense look, a mixture of pleading and demanding to continue. Again, my body flushed with a sense of control. When I didn’t start back up, Paul reached for his dick, but I quickly brushed it away. This only intensified the look on his face. “Please,” Paul said, his voice begging. I couldn’t believe how exciting it was to hear him begging me. To realize the control I had over him in the moment. I felt a power I had never experienced and never knew I would even want.
Seizing on the feeling of control, and without giving it much thought, I bent my body forward and, for the first time ever, I took another man’s cock into my mouth. It was a leap of faith, a moment of passion, and an unplanned event.
Paul’s cock was warm, and the skin felt velvety soft. The mushroom head slid over the roof of my mouth and my tongue before hitting the back of my throat and causing me to gag. I choked it back and regained control. “Oh fuck,” Paul hissed, running his fingers through my hair and holding my head. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, but I tried to imagine what it should feel like, what I would have liked.
I tried to replicate what I thought would feel good. I formed my mouth into a circle, tightening it around the base as I drew myself up. I could feel the head sliding in my mouth, and I could feel slick precum on my tongue. With my lips holding on to the head, I pushed forward, driving the dick back into my mouth, this time careful not to choke.
As I began to understand the feeling, I relaxed more and could move my head up and down more quickly and with more pressure. Paul seemed to like what I was doing, and his moans gave me confidence. I continued sucking but found that my neck and back were starting to feel tension, and I couldn’t seem to get a good angle on his cock.
I pulled my mouth from his cock and climbed off the bed. “Stand up on the bed,” I said. Paul looked at me quizzically, but did as I instructed, standing on the bed in front of me. Paul’s thick cock was rock hard and heavy with blood and pointed straight at me. I placed my hands on Paul’s ass and pulled him to the edge of the bed. His dick was at mouth height, and I didn’t hesitate as I swallowed it once more.
Paul placed his hands on my shoulders to stabilize himself as I began to suck on his hard cock with renewed excitement and energy. “Oh yeah, fuck yeah,” Paul moaned. I was excited by his exclamations. What I was doing felt alien and strange, but I couldn’t deny the pleasure I was feeling.
“I’m close, I’m going to cum,” Paul warned. I hadn’t given any thought to that part of it. The sudden realization that his cum could fill my mouth wasn’t something I was prepared for. I pulled my mouth free, and as it exited my mouth, I felt his cum splash against my chin. Paul grabbed his cock and began jerking it as the rest of the orgasm continued. Cum splashed my chest in great warm gobs and began to drip down my body.
The last drops of cum oozed from Paul’s cock, and his knees began to buckle slightly. Paul stood trembling, one hand on my shoulder and the other on his spent cock. He looked at my body coated in cum, and a grin crossed his face. “Sorry,” he said, sheepishly.
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