If You're Not the One
3 Nov 2023 1139 readers Score 8.8 (9 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt
I couldn't get the memories to stop playing on an endless loop inside my head; that awful night last year when I let my pain nearly destroy one of the most important people still in my life. Ryan was standing in front of me, completely naked. He kissed me gently, tenderly, with passion. I closed my eyes just wanting it to be over. He put his hands on my waist and slid my track pants down until they were at my ankles. I lifted up first one leg, and then the other, allowing him to remove them completely. It felt so robotic, so mechanical. I was responding to his touch because it was what he wanted, without even really thinking about it. If I had been sober, I would have said something, but if I had been sober this wouldn’t have been happening in the first place…
Now I was wearing only my jock, and Ryan’s massive cock was pressed against my thigh, still dripping copious amounts of his precum. He took my hand in his, and lead me to my bedroom, with me obediently following behind. We arrived in my room, and he walked around me to close the door behind me. I shut my eyes, it felt like he was trapping me in there with him, with no escape. ‘Please no, please do not let this happen. No, god, please!’ I said to myself. How the fuck could I let things get this far?
Ryan walked back around me to lay down on my bed, and tugged gently on my hand to pull me in after him. Again I obeyed, laying myself down next to him, our faces almost touching. He kissed me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and gently nibbling my lips. He was such an incredible kisser, and his mouth tasted so fresh even though he couldn’t have brushed his teeth since at least hours ago. I wished at that moment that I could just be attracted to him, that I could just be normal. Who in my place would want to resist this god-like Man in my bed?
He pushed on my leg, moving me towards him. Clearly he wanted me to get on top of him. I sat up awkwardly, and brought my legs to either side of his torso until I was straddling him, and his rock-hard cock was now leaking precum right onto my pussy as it quivered with anticipation, my jock allowing full contact between us. “You’re so fucking gorgeous Colby, and I love you so fucking much. I want to make love to you all night long!”
Ryan reached around behind me and grabbed his shaft, positioning it to allow the head to be lined up with my pussy lips. He took his hand back to his face and spat into it, bringing it back to rub all over his cock, and I felt one of his fingers rubbing gently all around the inside of my pussy. He took his time, he clearly knew how to fuck an ass. He was so gentle with that finger, making sure I took it easily before he brought his fingers up to my lips, and slid them inside. I was not prepared for the rank taste of my own pussy, but I was clean, and had readied myself when I took a shower earlier as I always make sure to keep myself ready just in case. I obediently opened my mouth, and Ryan slid a second, and then a third finger into my mouth, sliding back and forth until they were very wet with saliva. He brought his hand back to my pussy and slid two fingers inside. I moaned, it wasn’t completely unpleasant, but there was some pain.
“Fuck Colby, the way you moan gets me so fucking hard for you. I’m going to be inside you soon, okay? I can hear how badly you need me, I won’t make you wait much longer I promise!” And he kissed my abs as he slid the third finger inside. I moaned louder, grunting a little. This time hurt a little more, but it did subside as he worked his fingers in and out, taking his time to make sure I really opened up for him. He brought his fingers back to my mouth, and again I opened my mouth up for him. The flavour of my own cunt was strange, although not unpleasant, and not something I’d never tasted before from cocks that took time to slide down my throat on breaks from fucking me. I definitely preferred the taste of cock though, pussy was not for me.
Ryan took his hand out of my mouth again, brought it down to his, and spat into it one more time, before finally bringing it back behind me to massage over his cockhead and into my pussy again. Then he grabbed his cock, and slid it around until it was parting my lips. He brought his hands to either side of my waist, and slowly starting pulling me down onto him.
The moment his cock pushed past my lips, I felt myself stretch wider than I had ever been stretched before. Jason had a HUGE cock, but it was nowhere near as big as Ryan’s, ‘this must be what getting fisted feels like!’ I thought to myself. But thankfully there was still enough alcohol to keep me from feeling everything. I could definitely tell there was pain, but it was almost like it was far away. I can’t deny that Ryan definitely made every effort not to rush me. He went so slowly, my heart almost broke all over again because I could see how badly he was trying to make this enjoyable for me, and I knew that it must be killing him not to just give in to his desires and thrust his cock all the way into me at once.
I wanted to enjoy this. I LOVE getting fucked, and there’s no more insanely hot a guy than Ryan. He did absolutely everything right. More than that, he wasn’t just fucking me, he was doing exactly what he had told me, he was making love to me. I could feel his love in the tenderness of his movements. The way he kissed my abs, my hands, my chest, my nipples. The way he caressed every part of my body so gently, so slowly. The way he was looking at me, like I was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen. Like he really was in love with me.
Suddenly he was looking right into my eyes, and I felt his balls smack agains my ass. He was all the way inside me…and a tears started falling down my face. I took my hand to try to discreetly wipe them, hoping he was too lost in the feeling of finally being inside me to notice—but he saw me. He stopped moving right away “Oh fuck! Colby, I’m so sorry, am I hurting you?? I know I’m really big, I was doing everything I could to open you and then go slow!”
He looked so upset, so apologetic. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I tried to smile, all I could think of was ‘no matter what happens tonight, I’m not losing you Ryan!’ I leaned forward as far as the giant cock in my ass would let me, and kissed his lips. “Baby, I’m SO sorry. I don’t know if I can take it right now, you’re so big and I know you really took your time, but I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I’ve been with anyone. And I’ve never been with a guy as big as you. I don’t think I’m ready for it, it just hurts too much…”
He looked heartbroken, and I thought I was going to die. I kissed him as quickly as I could, desperately trying to show him a desire for him that I did not feel. “Ryan, I love you so fucking much. Please don’t be upset with me, I just want our first time to be perfect!” Oh shit, where the fuck did I come up with that one?
He looked at me, and half-smiled, “are you sure Colby? I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want…” I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath, I relaxed a bit at seeing his smile. “You know how much you mean to me, don’t you Ryan?” I took his hand, and I placed it on my heart. With the stress of his giant cock stretching me, and the anxiety of almost ruining our relationship, my heart was beating a million times a second. “My heart hasn’t beat for someone like this since…well, you know better than anyone. You were the one who picked up all the broken pieces of me and took the time and the care to put them back together. I would die if anything happened and I lost you. I just want to be ready for you, to give you the pleasure and love that you deserve. When we do make love, I want everything to be perfect!” I kissed him again, slowly, sliding my tongue between his lips and rubbing my piercing around on his tongue.
I took his arms and I wrapped them around my back, pushing myself against his body as much as I could while his cock still throbbed deep inside me. And then I squeezed it. I clamped down on his cock with the muscles inside my pussy, and squeezed. Trying to give him as much pleasure as I could in this moment. I would deal with the consequences of what I was saying later, right now all that matters is that he knows I am not prepared to lose him.
He moaned in pleasure, “oh fuck baby, WOW! That’s incredible! I’m so sorry I’m rushing you, and you’re right, I want our first time to be perfect too. You deserve to be with a Man who knows how to treat you right, not that fucking coward. He gently lifted me off his cock, until with a slight plop, all of a sudden I felt air on my pussy. He was only half-hard at this point, and his cock smacked slightly against his incredible abs. Ryan pulled me gently down towards him until I was laying completely all my weight on top of him. He kissed me again and again “I love you so much Colby, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. If waiting for you a little longer is what I need to do to make sure that you’re ready for us to be together, then that’s what I’ll do. There is NO ONE else out there for me but you!”
I kissed him again, trying to force passion into it, and hoping he felt it even though it wasn’t there, before turning my face to the side so he wouldn’t see that I’d started crying again. I must have a serious mental disorder—this Man is the most kind, wonderful, sexy, incredible human being I’ve ever met, and all he wants is to love me and be with me…why can’t I feel that for him???
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I was so ashamed, I could feel my eyes burning as the rage turned to anguish. 'How could I have allowed him to do that to me?' I wasn't sure I could face Jason again, wasn't even sure that I wanted to. But after having hidden out on the bathroom floor for at least half an hour, I heard a soft knock at the door. "Babe, are you okay?" I wiped my eyes, and decided I needed to tell him how disgusted I was by what had happened, and how fucked up he must be if he thought he could behave that way. I took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. My gaze fell immediately on his face, his eyes, and the worried look they carried...and it weakened my resolve. He was so fucking gorgeous, and he was obviously worried about me. 'Maybe he knows how bad he just fucked this up?' Before I had a chance to speak, he had his arms around me and was pulling me in tight against him. "What were you doing in here? You were gone so long, and you hadn't said a word. I didn't even have a chance to tell you that you are the greatest cocksucker I've ever had! You just got up and walked away. What's wrong Colby? I want you to know that you can always tell me anything, and I expect you to be honest with me--just as I will always be honest with you."
I managed to gently pull myself away from his embrace; despite how upset I was, it was still difficult to not want to have his arms around me. I looked up into his eyes, and I could feel there was something there. Maybe it was too early to be love, but there was a protective, passionate fire dancing behind those beautiful hazel eyes. I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. I didn't want to just abandon all the feelings he'd brought up in me just because of how sexy he was, I needed to confront him.
"Jason...I'm really upset about what happened earlier when I was sucking your cock." I was trying to look around for the right words to express all the anger, disgust, shame, and betrayal I had felt, but before I had a chance to say anything he responded, "I think I understand what's wrong--that was the first time you've ever been dominated before right?" I nodded my head. "Baby, you're so sexy, a total hunk. I can only assume that the reason you've never done it is because you didn't know you were a sub?" What was he talking about? 'What does he mean, I'm a sub?' I was silent as I ran over his words again and again. He waited for a moment, but when I still hadn't said anything he said, "Colby, there's nothing wrong with you. You're not broken. You're not fucked up. There's nothing for you to feel ashamed of. You ARE a sub. Any REAL man would know that immediately. I smelled it on you the second I saw you. And I'm so thankful that you're such a sub. Because I'm extremely dominant, and I've been waiting all my life to meet the perfect, obedient, sexy, handsome, eager to please sub that you are. Even in my dreams, I've never imagined that I could meet anyone like you, so desperate to serve, and so clearly in need of ME: the dominant Alpha to teach you and break you in."
I just stared at him, bewildered. I do speak English after all, it's not that I didn't understand each word that came out of his mouth on their own, but put all together, what he was saying just made no sense to me at all. "But...I...no! I'm not a 'sub', and I hated the way you were treating me!" He smiled, a small, knowing smile. "Baby, you didn't completely hate it. Part of you was loving it. Part of you was hoping I'd be even more aggressive and rough and dominant. Part of you was desperate to submit to me." What he was saying was making me even more uncomfortable, I hated that he knew that he was right. "Listen, I've been with subs before. Never for more than a night, but I know how subs like you are. I've never actually had the chance to train a sub right from his first experience, so this will be an incredible journey for both of us. And I know, right now you probably don't feel the pleasure you had felt in the moment as you were pleasing me. It went away as my expectation for you to serve me was fulfilled. By the time you were finished swallowing my cum you were probably already upset with yourself. From what I've gotten to learn from the subs I've been with, thats all completely normal at the beginning. It's part of my job to get you comfortable with yourself. The REAL you. The sub."
I didn't want to keep talking about it, I refused to accept any part of what he was saying. But I was more upset with myself now than I was with him. If he thought I was into domination, yes he probably should have talked to me about it before. But I can show him that he's wrong, and we can still build the relationship that I had been so excited to start after our talk the night before. So I kept my mouth shut, and I just found my way back into his arms. 'When it seems like we're about to have sex, I'll make sure that you understand. I'm not gonna accept any of this shit. We can have normal sex and enjoy each other's bodies the way it's supposed to be.' And with that thought, I let him pull me tightly against him again.
He kissed my neck, my lips, the tip of my nose. I started to smile, I really loved the way he kissed me, the way he held me, the way he touched me. "Babe, don't you work today?" I asked him. He kissed me again, and said "Yup. What time is it?" I looked at the clock in the hallway, "it's almost 8:30." He groaned, "the last thing I want to do right now is stop kissing you, sexy. But I need to run if I'm not going to be late. I'll grab a bite to eat on my way into the office. I'll skip the shower for now, at least I had one at the gym last night...do you work today? I just realized I don't know what you do."
I gave him one more kiss, he was pretty much irresistible and I was going to be very sad when he left. "I'm the kitchen manager at the Savoy grill. They don't open until 5 on weeknights. Do you know the Savoy?" Jason whistled, "wow! That place is swanky! I had dinner with a few colleagues there the other day to celebrate his engagement. You're already the kitchen manager and you're 23?" I felt pride in myself, and I was certain I felt it coming from him too. "I started working there when I was...well, let's say 'very young'. Technically it wasn't legal, but I was a dishwasher and nobody was going to check that kind of fancy, expensive restaurant. I was on my own, and I needed money. I was staying at shelters most nights, which was fine, but they only provided dinner. I didn't want to apply for my school's breakfast program. For a start, I was ashamed. But I also knew there were people who needed it far more than me, I had a house and a family...even if my step-mom had thrown me out of it and my dad was sick and dying in the hospital. The Savoy fed me meals, on top of giving me money, so it was perfect. And it was where I met Kevin a couple years later. I was a server by then, and had already started renting out a room in a municipal housing complex. But he fell in love with me pretty much right from the beginning, and he insisted that I come live with him. I wasn't going to refuse, he was handsome, and kind, and loved taking care of me. And he had a beautiful house on the river, he's a lawyer so he did very well for himself. And I was able to start saving money away. Even after we broke up, he let me stay with him, it was me that decided to get my own place, a proper place. I didn't want to hold him back from having another relationship. And then 2 years ago I was offered the job of kitchen manager and I could not have been happier. I've been doing pretty well with my savings, and I'm planning on going to school. I never had the chance to even consider going to college after I graduated high school, and that's the thing I wish I could have been able to do differently. It doesn't matter, better late than never."
Jason grabbed me by the hand and wrapped his muscular arms around my body, holding me tightly to him from behind. "You're an incredible person Colby. You're so fucking strong and you know you're sexy as hell. I'm so happy I found you." He tilted my head towards his and kissed me again, on the lips. His tongue massaging mine, playing with my stud, while soft moans escaped my lips. I was in heaven. Far too soon he pulled away. "Sexy, I'm really going to be late and in deep shit if I don't leave already. But I hope you know that I would much rather be staying here to spend the day with you!" I smiled, all thoughts of this morning gone from my head. This was the purest joy I had felt in a long time, possibly ever. He was incredible. And I think he might just get to be mine. "I want to tell you to call in sick...but I don't want you to get the impression that I can't live without you. It's too soon to show my hand, and on a lesser note, I also don't want you to get in shit for calling in sick." He laughed, "handsome, you'll be back in my arms soon enough. And that's exactly where I want you to be!" He kissed me again, and I found myself realizing that the effects he was having on me were almost impossible to believe. 'We just met...how can I already feel this way about him?!' We kissed far too long, I just didn't want him to stop; but eventually we had no choice and he had to practically run to his truck with his jacket hanging off of one arm. He jumped in, started the engine, and started to turn around out of the driveway. He rolled down the window just before he was about to head off, and turned to look at me, "Colby...I meant it. There's something here, between us. It's real, and I know you feel it the same way I do. Something like this...it doesn't just happen, everything happens for a reason. You were meant to come into my life, just like I was meant to come into yours. You're unlike anyone I've ever met Colby; I may not know you as well as I'd like to just yet, but I know that. I've never felt like this before, and it scares me a little. Because it would be so easy for you to just keep going with your life like nothing happened. I'm asking you not to do that...I'm asking you to be with me." He looked at me, pleadingly, and I ran up to the door of his truck, still in just my briefs, and a pair of sandals I'd kept by the door. I leaned up through the tall window of his truck and I kissed him, "Jason...I don't know how to say this, I'm still nervous as fuck that I'll say something or do something that will fuck this up. But...I'm yours. For as long as you'll have me, I want to be yours." His eyes lit up with such happiness, I couldn't believe that he wanted me as badly as I wanted him. He kissed me again, "go back inside dumbass, you're going to freeze to death! If you get a cold because of me I'm going to be really upset with both of us! Now go, and I hope you won't mind if I spend the night with you again here tonight!" He kissed me one last time, and started pulling out of the driveway. As he let go of the brakes, we were pulled from one another. It was so bittersweet; obviously I didn't want him to leave, but knowing that I'd found him after so many years of waiting to meet someone like him...it was the happiest I had ever felt.
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“Hey babe,” I wrote, “I made some lunch for us…late lunch I guess. Will you be here soon? I can’t wait to see you!” I hit send, and tried to get myself to feel as excited as I had sounded in the words I sent to Ryan. ‘I need to give this a chance!’ I was trying to convince myself that I actually did want to start something with him, and that I just didn’t realize because I was still so fucked from Jason leaving.
It’s been 3-years, and if I haven’t fully moved on by now, then obviously something needs to change. Maybe starting something with someone new is how I do that, it can’t possibly be considered a rebound after this much time has passed…right? I knew that whatever I started with Ryan, it wasn’t going to be just sex. The man put me on a pedestal, and made it clear that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I just wish I didn’t feel so much pressure—like if I start with him it means we have to get married or something…but would that even be so bad? He’s a dream come true in every way—just usually only for other people.
My phone buzzed again, and I looked at the message, “sweetheart, you cooked? I am one lucky guy! I just left work now, I’ll be there in a few minutes! Keep the food warm, but I want to spend some time with my boy before we eat. I miss you so fucking much!”
On the one hand, I get it. I knew he was in love with me—he knew that I knew he was in love with me, he had already told me enough times. We had almost slept together a year ago, and it would be very difficult to say that it didn’t look like I initiated that…even if it was by accident. I had told him I wanted it, but that I just needed some time. He waited, so fucking patiently, and now last night we did sleep together. How could he NOT think that meant that I was ready for us to be together?
But on the other hand, even if he did come to the conclusion that we were now together (which I had to admit, I gave every indication that was the case), it still really only started last night. The way he talks to me it’s like we’re a married couple…is that normal?
I banged my fist on the table so hard, I made one of the glasses knock over, and it fell on the floor shattering into a million pieces. “Well that’s just fucking great,” I said aloud. I grabbed the broom and dustpan, and spent the next few minutes sweeping up the tiny shards of glass from all over the floor. I was just putting the broom back in the little closet off the kitchen when I heard the knock at my door.
I plastered the best fake smile on my face that I could, and walked over to the other end of the hallway. I opened the door, and even I had to admit that Ryan was dreamy as fuck. He was wearing this very dressy button-down dress shirt and black pants. Nice, shiny, black Oxford dress shoes, and a beautiful silver tie that looked like it was probably made out of silk. I hadn’t often seen him in his work clothes, but I knew that his job was fairly senior and he certainly did well for himself. I blushed a little, it was an involuntary reaction to finding him so attractive. I’ve always had an invisible line that runs through my mind that keeps my friends very clearly on one side. If you are on that side, I just don’t see you as a piece of meat. I have a lot of friends, albeit nowhere near as close as Ryan and I, or Kevin and I. And many of them are fucking studs…but I don’t ever think of them like that. I don’t see them that way. It’s not a conscious choice, it’s just wired into my head that friends aren’t there for THAT.
And all of a sudden I’m looking at Ryan standing at the doorway, clearly so fucking happy to be here and to see me, and looking fucking incredible…and I start to blush. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see anyone in my entire life,” he said as he walked into my apartment and closed the door behind him. He pulled me into his arms, and kissed me on my cheek, “hI baby, I’m home.” I looked up into his warm, chocolate-coloured eyes, the most kind, gentle eyes I’d ever met. “You really have incredible eyes, I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how beautiful they are…” I whispered, not really realizing that I was speaking out loud, just genuinely lost in how attractive he is.
He smiled, a big grin with his dazzlingly perfect, white teeth. “Even if you have, you can tell me again.” He pulled back from me a bit, and looked down at my face. I felt myself blush again, just a little. He placed his right hand on my cheek, “Colby, I’m happy we waited until you were ready for me. Now we can do things properly. You’re mine, and I’m going to be the Man that you deserved to be with all along.” He kissed me, gently at first, but with more and more passion until his tongue slid past my lips. I don’t know how his mouth always tasted so fresh, so clean. Like he had brushed his teeth recently, but also not like his mouth was full of that fake mint flavour. Our tongues danced together, and I couldn’t help but relax a little. A soft moan escaped my mouth through our kiss, as his left hand slid its way down my back, and landed on my ass. He squeezed and kneaded the big muscles running through my ass, as he skillfully played his tongue delicately around mine, licking my piercing and making sure I felt just how much he loved me.
I hadn’t even realized that my hands had started sliding around his big, wide, powerful back, pulling him in tighter to me. I broke off the kiss and buried my face into his neck. It smelled like him, but with a little bit of his delicious cologne left over from the morning. “Ryan…I love you so much. Probably more than anything else in the world—don’t tell Kevin haha. I just…I hope you’re okay if we take things slow. If anything ever happened, and I lost you…I think I’d probably kill myself.”
I immediately wished I hadn’t said it like that, Ryan stopped moving all of a sudden, and pulled back from me. The way he looked at me, the concern in his eyes—no, it wasn’t concern, it was dread. I felt a little sick seeing him look at me like that. My stomach lurched and I felt queasy all of a sudden. “Colby, don’t ever say that again! I fucking mean it! If anything ever happened to you, I don’t know what I would do, but I know what I’m capable of and I would go completely fucking insane! Don’t even joke about that. You’re my life!”
I looked up at him, trembling. I’d only heard him speak like that a few times. I remembered the rage I’d seen in his eyes that night that Jason had grabbed me in front of Ryan. I remembered the night that Jason had left me, and when Ryan had showed up at my door a few hours later because I hadn’t responded to his messages, had come inside looking for me. He found me laying on the couch, a bunch of pills on the little table next to the couch, and a big cup of whisky next to it. I hadn’t actually taken anything, I realized almost as soon as I’d poured the glass of Jack that I didn’t want to actually do this. But Ryan took one look at me and screamed, it was an inhuman yell of pure anguish. He had pulled out his phone and was already calling 9-1-1 when I finally got him to understand that I hadn’t actually gone through with it. He didn’t believe me at first, and he threatened to pump my stomach. But I flung myself around him and I bawled my eyes out, and I told him why I felt my life was already over.
“I will kill that motherfucker if I ever see him again.” The cold rage in his voice, the way his fists clenched…I knew that he meant it. And while it scared me, it also comforted me and made me realize that the rest of the people in my life meant too much to me to lose. And I probably meant too much to them too.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking up into his face. My eyes already wet with tears. “I shouldn’t have said that, I just needed you to know how scared I am of doing something that will lose you. That’s why I just need us to go kind of slow. Obviously the last time I was with someone I loved, it nearly killed me. I need you to be okay with us taking our time, and not rushing things. Of course I’m yours, okay? I’ll always be yours. I just don’t want to fuck anything up…”
He looked like he felt awful for having come down on me so hard. I saw his eyes widen, and I knew that he regretted instantly what he said to me. “Oh fuck baby, I’m so sorry. Of course I understand why you want to take things slow. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere, and I can go as slow as you need!” He kissed me again, and I felt my breathing return to normal.
He took my hand, and led me towards the bedroom, “come, I want to lay with you for a minute. All day I’ve been waiting to have you back in my arms!” He stopped when we were standing in front of the bed, and he took my hands and placed them on his chest. “I’m yours, just as much as you’re mine, okay baby? And I’m never going to hurt you. Now help me get out of these work clothes, Daddy’s missed his boy!” I smiled in spite of myself. I’d never heard him refer to himself as Daddy, but he must have known already that I would like it. He wasn’t that much older than me, but he was approaching forty and even though he looked like he could still pass for his late twenties, there was so much power and wisdom emanating from his stature that he could definitely use the title ‘Daddy’.
I slowly loosened his tie, pulling one end through the knot until I could slide it out from the collar of his shirt, I turned around and placed it on the desk behind me. I turned back to Ryan, who stood waiting patiently for me to continue. I smiled again, people would do anything to be in my place right now. Guys and girls. I’m not going to ruin this chance…
I went from the top of shirt down, slowly unbuttoning my way. When I got to the last one and his shirt swung open to reveal his chiseled, massive abs, I couldn’t help but stare. Nobody looked like this in real life. He chucked as he saw me staring, and pulled his shirt off first one of his arms, and then the other. He took hold of the bottom of my shirt, and pulled it up over my head in one smooth motion. He threw it on the desk behind me and came to stand so our bodies were touching. His was so warm, smooth, and so incredibly hard and beautifully contoured. The definition of his muscles made it look like they’d been airbrushed. I leaned forward and kissed his chest, slowly sliding my tongue all along the ridges of the massive mounds of muscle until I made my way to his nipple. I gently sucked at it, licked it all around, and nibbled on it with my teeth without really biting down.
Ryan moaned and squirmed, and he moved his hands to the back of my head to gently push me down harder onto his nipple, clearly enjoying what I was doing to him. I moved to his other pec, and repeated the process on his other nipple. I loved playing with my tongue stud across his big, pink nipples. I wished he had a big piercing, like Ja—…no. Ryan is perfect, and the fact that he’s not the same is a good thing. I distracted myself by playing with the giant nub and loving the way Ryan grunted and groaned in pleasure.
I pulled away from his chest and kissed my way up his neck. The faint hint of cologne was strongest here, and his choice was impeccable. I kissed and nipped at the soft skin of his neck, from one side to the other, finally kissing my way up to his jawline. He had shaved recently, and there was barely any stubble, but I loved the way it felt on my lips. And finally, I made my way back to his mouth. His beautiful, soft, pink lips. I kissed him, firmly yet slowly. I didn’t push my way into his mouth, I just let our lips play with each other, and his hands slid down on either side of my back, and came to rest on my ass. I moaned again as he worked one hand down the inside of my jeans, and grabbed my bare ass.
Regardless of anything else I may have been feeling, I had to admit that this all felt pretty amazing. I took a step backwards, and undid my jeans while looking up into Ryan’s eyes. I smiled and let the denim fall down my legs, stepping out of one side and then kicking with the other leg to send the jeans flying onto the desk with the rest of our clothes. Now I was wearing only my favourite black Armani briefs. I reached out with my hands, and undid the fancy silver buckle of Ryan’s dress belt, slowly undoing the top button of his fly, and lowering the zipper seductively. Ryan closed his eyes and a soft moan escaped his lips. I could see that his cock was at full glory straining behind the fabric of his blue Under Armours. I got down on my knees and pulled his Oxfords off his feet, first one and then the other, placing them down underneath the same desk behind me. I took hold of the waist of his pants, and very slowly pulled them down his legs, until it was his turn to lift first one leg and then the other to remove them. I laid the soft, black dress pants on the back of the chair at my desk, and turned back around to face Ryan, his bulging crotch now right in front of my face.
It was difficult not to get turned on, kneeling there in front of this titan. I could feel my hole start to quiver, and I knew that for all my talk of taking it slow, obviously I didn’t mean that we wouldn’t be having sex. I knew that I must already be wet; that was another one of the things that made me such a desirable bottom for Men—when I was excited, my pussy naturally lubricated itself—obviously I was made to take cock. I reached out and lifted up one of his legs, resting it on my knee. I licked from the top of his ankle all the way up the side of his calf, slowly dancing my tongue along the smooth ridges of his muscular leg. When I got to his knee, I switched directions and licked and kissed my way back down the other side, and all the while he was moaning and grunting in pleasure. When I got to the top of his soft, black dress sock, I pulled it from his foot in one smooth motion. I put his leg back down on the floor and started again with the other one. With his socks off, I looked up into his face, and smiled at him. My inner sub had awoken, for the first time in a long time, and I was actually looking forward to learning if Ryan would be willing to be dominant for me.
I kept constant eye-contact as I leaned forward, and laid my mouth on his throbbing tool, the thin fabric of his boxer-briefs the only thing between us. I wanted to show Ryan that I was submitting to him, that I was ready to serve him and pleasure him.
I never looked away as I slid my mouth all over every part of the fabric barely enclosing his cock. I kissed, licked, and nibbled along the bulging shaft and the big mushroom head. Finally, his underwear now wet with precum and spit, I slid my hands up, one on each of his legs, and hooked my thumbs inside the waistband. I pulled them down slowly, seductively, this time ready for his giant shaft to smack me in the face just the way I like. And once again, his precum was coating my cheeks, chin, and lips. I felt some pussy juice drip down from the inside of my hole, and land on the fabric of my briefs. I was beyond excited. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this excited for a Man. I remembered Jason’s voice from all those years ago, “subs are property. You were born to belong to a Man and please him. Nothing will ever make you as happy as being mine, and spending the rest of your life giving me pleasure.”
I didn’t want to think about him, but what he had said rang as true for me now as it had for me then. This is what I need, to belong to Ryan. To be his sub, and serve him. I opened my mouth, never breaking eye-contact, and took his entire cockhead into my mouth.
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The first few days of our relationship felt like a dream, and I was scared every moment that I wasn’t with Jason that I would wake up to find out that none of it was real. I was even more scared that it was real, but that all of a sudden he would disappear from my life as quickly as he had entered it. But Jason was everything he seemed to be on that first night we’d met, and everything more.
We spent two more nights at my place, still sleeping in our underwear, but the first thing I did when I woke up was get on my knees and suck his rock-hard raging morning wood. He wasn’t as rough as he had been on that first morning, but he also was far more assertive and forceful than anyone else I’d ever been with. And even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself, and much less to him, I loved the feeling of his strong hands on the back of my head controlling my movement. I loved the way he talked to me when he was about to shoot his load. I loved when he called me his “bitch”, his “faggot”, and his “slut”. I certainly didn’t understand it, and every time he had finished and I went to stand up, he would grab onto me and hold me, caressing every part of my body, and tell me how amazing I am. Almost like he was taking back the nasty shit he had said to me while I was sucking his cock. But not really taking it back, more like trying to show me that I could be this precious, incredible thing that he wanted to protect and love and cherish, while simultaneously also using me and making me fell like a whore.
I never said anything else about it after that first morning, and I knew that I was only confirming all the things he had told me about my inner-most desires. But it was not something I really wanted to address. I guess I felt like, even if it happened in the heat of the moment while I was giving him head, it wasn’t actually real once we were finished. Maybe it was like role-play, it existed in the bedroom but it didn’t need to apply anywhere else. And I was starting to feel like maybe I could be okay with that.
On the fourth day, it was a weekend. I had to be at work for the brunch shift, but then I’d have a few hours off from the Savoy before having to head back for the dinner rush. I was a little tired, and I was hoping to nap, but I also didn’t want to miss any time with Jason. He had already told me he was going to pick me up from work, and take me back to his apartment. I had only been waiting for about a minute when his giant truck arrived at the back parking lot, and I couldn’t help but smile. I was pretty fucking lucky, this absolute stud definitely knew how to take care of me.
I got up into the passenger seat of Jason’s truck, and he turned to me saying, “hey beautiful, I’m so happy you’re here.” He grabbed me with one arm and pulled me into him, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, and finally my lips. We made out for a few minutes, just sitting there in his truck. When we finally peeled away from each other, I just stared at him. ‘Jesus fucking christ, Jason is the most gorgeous guy on the planet.’ I reached my hand out and placed it on one of his huge thighs, squeezing it firmly. He looked at me and placed a hand on top of mine. “So ready to come see my place? It isn’t much, but it’s quiet, and I think it’ll be the perfect place to have a quick nap together before I bring you back here for work later.”
I smiled brightly at him, I couldn’t wait to see his place. “I know I’m not supposed to say sappy shit like this when we’re still just getting to know each other…but it’s been awhile since I’ve had to practice being coy, so you’ll just have to accept it. I don’t think it would matter if you lived in a cave. As long as there’s a bed where I can lay down and have your arms around me the I’m the happiest guy in the world!” I really meant it, and the way Jason’s whole face lit up when I said it made me fall for him even more.
And boy had I been falling for him. I actually almost used the word “love” with him a few times, and hat to cut myself off mid-sentence, fake a cough or something to cover it up. I assumed that what I was feeling was just infatuation, since it’s not possible that I could have been feeling actual love this quickly. But it didn’t seem like infatuation. To me, infatuation is more physical than anything. And while Jason’s body sometimes made me feel like I would melt into a puddle, he was so much more than just an incredible body.
Jason and I had spent some of our cuddling time over the past few days talking about anything and everything. He opened up to me about how much he missed his family, how much it was killing him to be away from his nieces and nephews, and how terrified he was that Catherine might do something to hurt his family, even if she did have all the money, the house, and everything else that he had owned. He had actually broken down when he talked about his dad. Jason was so scared that he’d let his father down, first by not giving his parents any children, and second for being gay. He assumed that his parents would be devastated to learn that their eldest son was a fag. It made me uncomfortable to hear him talk like that, but then again I never had to worry about being scared to come out. I couldn’t let my family down if I didn’t have any. “I know I’ve never met them, and probably never will…but from everything you’ve told me Jason, your parents loved you so completely that I don’t think anything would change that in their eyes—and I can completely understand how they saw you. I know the way I see you, and…” I trailed off. This was one of those times that I really felt like I was about to tell him that I love him. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to scare off the best thing that ever happened to me by opening up too quickly.
As we drove to his place, Jason never took his hand off the one I had placed on his thigh. He squeezed my hand gently every so often, and made sure I knew that I was his priority. “So Kevin’s having a get-together at his place tomorrow night. Since I have the night off, I was hoping you would come with me and I could introduce you to some of my friends? I know you work Monday morning, so we don’t have to stay late. I think Kevin said people would be coming for around 7…” Jason chuckled, “I’m trying not to get jealous thinking of how close you and your ex- are, but it’s difficult. I’ve seen the photos of the two of you, and he’s quite a fucking stud.” I blushed, it was weird that Jason could be jealous, but also kind of sexy. I liked how protective he was of me. I brought our hands up to meet my lips, his on top of mine, and I kissed the back of his hand gently. ‘I love you’ I said, quietly in my thoughts.