I sighed as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I still don’t know why I put myself through this. I’m not good-looking, I’m not charismatic, and I’m not the life of the party. The few friends that I do have tell me that I am a nice guy. Yeah, and nice guys always finish last.
I guess I have always had a little bit of self-esteem problem. I’m really not sure where it came from, I had an almost ideal childhood. Parents that love and support me, an older brother and younger sister that always included me and we rarely fought or argued. Oh, we had the usual sibling squabbles, but we really did get along well. Even now as adults we all talk weekly, and all look forward to holidays and family get togethers. The only time I really felt like I let my parents down was when I came out as gay after my senior year of high school. Even that only lasted a day or two. After the shock wore off, mom and dad assured me that they still loved me and always will.
As I gave myself another look, I admit I’m not ugly, but I’m not handsome either. I guess the best term I can come up with to describe myself is plain. I also admit that I don’t do myself any favors with the way I dress, but I just can’t bring myself to buy any clothes that are too flashy. I see other guys dress in the latest fashions and I just can’t see myself wearing some of those styles. I know I wouldn’t look any better, I’ll just stick to my khakis and mono colored polo shirts. The wildest shirt I own is plaid, and it is grey tones.
My job was even boring; I work as an actuary for a large insurance company. I sit in a windowless cubicle and crunch numbers all day. I guess I have always been a bit of a math geek, so I do like my job. I have worked there for 5 years now, ever since I graduated from college.
I have just celebrated my 28th birthday and have yet to have a long-term relationship. I’ve tried all the usual ways to meet someone. Bars, parties, being fixed up by friends and even all the dating apps. Whenever I tried the bar or a party, I just knew no one there would think I was worth their time. My friends always told me I shouldn’t be so shy. When one of them tried to fix me up, it always seemed like they wanted me to be with someone that they would like to be with, I never had anything in common with the other person.
The dating apps were the worst. I was looking for someone to spend my future with, most other guys on the apps were looking for a hook up. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t use the apps to have a little fun. I also knew better than to expect anything other than a one-night stand.
I took a deep breath as I ran the brush through my hair one more time. Tonight, I was going to try the local gay bar one more time. I swear, if I don’t find a partner before I turn 30, I will just accept the fact that I will spend the rest of my life alone. I had also promised myself that I would try a little harder to meet someone. I had convinced myself to at least initiate a conversation tonight, even though I was sure it would end as it always did. I had survived the rejections all my life, one more was not going to be the worst thing to happen to me.
I parked my car in the parking lot of the Paradise Club, just as I had done several times before. It was a little after 8:30, things didn’t get going at the Paradise Club until after 9:00. That would give me time to have at least one drink to gain the courage that I would need to start a conversation.
I took a seat near the center of the bar. There were several empty seats on both sides of me. This wasn’t a good start; I should have sat next to one of the other patrons so I could talk to them. In my defense, none of the others seated at the bar really sparked my interest. Two of the guys were already talking to each other so I didn’t want to intrude. The only other guy at the bar looked to be about the age of my father. I have nothing against older guys being in the club, but I prefer someone closer to my own age.
The bartender put a napkin on the bar in front of me, smiled and asked, “What I can get you?”
I returned his smile, “A gin and tonic please.”
He winked, “Be right back.”
While he mixed my drink, I turned to look at the rest of the crowd. It was still early and there wasn’t anyone that really caught my eye. I don’t know why I was being so picky, it’s not like I turned any heads when I walked in.
The bartender sat my drink in front of and asked, “Would you like me to start a tab?”
I took a sip of my drink, “Yes please, if it’s not too much trouble.”
He smiled, “It’s no trouble at all.”
I nursed my drink for the next half hour, checking out any newcomers each time the door opened. I sighed, no singles were coming in, mostly couples or larger groups. The groups always seemed to be even numbers too, so I assumed they were already paired with a partner. I didn’t see anyone that looked like a third wheel. I certainly didn’t want to talk to anyone who already had a date and risk pissing off a jealous boyfriend.
I finished my drink, and the friendly bartender quickly replaced the empty glass with a fresh one. It was after 9:00 now and there was DJ starting to get set up to start playing music, there were guys already gathering on the dance in anticipation. A few minutes later the strobe lights began to flash, and music was filling the air. I watched as several couples began to dance, they all looked so happy. I scanned the room again, no one seemed interested in me, how was I going to work up the courage to talk to anyone?
I turned back to the bar to take another sip of my gin and tonic. The door opening again caught my attention. I watched as one man walked in and headed toward the bar, every other head in the room turned as well. Holy shit he was perfect. He was about 6’ tall with wavy blond hair, wearing a nice button-down shirt that was just tight enough to highlight his muscular chest. His biceps looked like they were going to rip the short sleeves of that shirt at any moment. I scanned further down his body, his dark jeans hung low on his hips and looked like they were custom fitted to his thick thighs. A pair of black Addias with the trademark three white stripes completed the package.
This guy looked as if he belonged on the cover of GQ or in any Abercrombie and Fitch ad. He is certainly out of my league. I took a large drink of my gin and turned to give him another look. There is not enough gin in the world to give me the balls to talk to this guy, and I was sure that there was not enough of whatever drinks for him to give me the time of day. As he got closer to the bar, I got a good look at his eyes, of course they were blue. Not just any blue, but the most incredible sky-blue orbs that I have ever seen.
Just when I thought he couldn’t get any more beautiful, he smiled as the bartender said, “Hey Cole, good to see you again. The usual?”
His perfect white teeth and dimples glowed in the flash of the strobe light, he replied, “Sure Nate, a gin and tonic. Tanqueray please.”
I knew I was staring, but I couldn’t look away, I had never seen a more perfect man. I’m sure my mouth was half open and I wouldn’t be surprised if I was drooling. My eyes remained locked on this man as he walked toward me. He turned the smile he gave to bartender to me.
He asked, “Is this seat taken?” He was pointing to bar stool beside mine.
I swallowed hard and nodded like an idiot, “Yeah, it’s a seat.” I sounded like a thirteen-year-old whose voice was changing.
He chuckled, “Do you mind if sit here?”
I cleared my throat and tried to gain my composure, “No, not at all.”
The bartender sat his drink down, Cole said, “Thanks Nate, if this gentleman is ready, I would love to buy him a drink as well.”
I picked up my glass and downed it in one gulp and squeaked, “Thanks.”
Nate chuckled, “Another gin and tonic, coming right up.”
Cole smiled, “We have the same taste.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I guess so.”
Cole held out his hand, “Cole Blankenship, it’s nice to meet you.”
I took his hand, “Jess Carter, it’s very nice to meet you too.”
I might have held on to his hand a little longer than necessary, just touching this man caused little Jess to perk up in my pants.
Cole chuckled, “So, tell me all about Jess Carter.”
I laughed, “He’s really not that interesting. Kind of boring actually.”
He took a drink, “Nonsense, everybody has something interesting about them. What do you do to put food on your table?”
I rolled my eyes, “Like I said, it’s boring. I am an actuary; I stare at a computer screen and determine the cost of an insurance policy based on…”
Cole smiled, “I know what an actuary does, and I don’t think it’s boring at all. I use information guys like you provide all the time in my job.”
I raised an eyebrow, “Really, what do you do?”
“I am a financial advisor. I talk to my clients and determine the best way to make them rich.” He told me with a grin.
I returned his grin, “And how many rich clients do have?”
Cole laughed, “Rich? Not many, but I hope I help them have a nice retirement.”
I asked, “How long have you been a financial advisor?”
He replied, “Since I graduated from college five years ago. I work at a small firm, just me, the guy that owns it and our administrative assistant. How long have you been an actuary?”
We talked about our jobs for the next hour. Cole telling me that he was being trained to take over the business when the current owner retired in 10 years. I was also working to step up into my bosses position when he retired.
It suddenly occurred to me that it was very easy to talk to Cole, and I was so proud of myself for putting myself out there. I was a bit surprised that Cole wanted to talk to me, but he seemed genuinely interested in me. I’m not sure why.
Cole must have picked up on my thoughts. He asked, “Is everything okay?”
I shrugged, “Yeah, but I was just wondering why you are so interested in me.”
He furrowed his brow, “What do you mean?”
I rolled my eyes, “Look around, there are a lot of other better looking, more interesting guys in here than me.”
He sighed, “What are talking about? You are a nice-looking guy, and you are very interesting to talk to.”
I said, “But you’re perfect, you can have your pick of anyone…”
Cole interrupted, “Stop Jess, you are selling yourself short. Besides, being me isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”
I paused for moment, then asked, “What do you mean being you isn’t that great?”
Before he could answer, Nate asked if we wanted another drink.
Cole said, “I think I’m good Nate, unless Jess wants another one.”
I looked between the two, I was hoping Cole wasn’t going to leave yet.
Cole continued, “Jess, it’s a bit loud in here, would you like to continue this conversation back at my place?”
Nate smiled as I finished my drink. I said, “Yeah, I would like that very much.”
Nate took our empty glasses and said, “Have a good night guys.”
I followed Cole out of the parking lot in my car; he had also given me his address in case I lost him in traffic. I pulled into his driveway right behind him. He lived in a decent neighborhood, mostly simple ranch houses that looked like they were occupied by young families. There were lots of bikes sitting on the front porches and swing sets in the back yards.
I followed Cole through the front door and looked around the house. It wasn’t a big house or fancy, but it was nice. I was also clean and tidy, which is a little bit important to me, if I am being honest. I have been to a few guy’s places that were borderline disgusting, and it immediately turned me off. It appeared that like me, Cole was in the process of upgrading his secondhand furniture to some more quality pieces. There was a nice leather couch in front of the big TV hanging on the wall. Two well used chairs flanked the couch.
Cole motioned toward the couch, “Have a seat and make yourself at home. Can I get you something to drink?”
I really wanted to keep my wits about me; I thought I had enough alcohol for the night. I said, “I wouldn’t mind some water.”
He smiled, “I was thinking the same thing, I’ll be right back.”
I sat on the couch as Cole walked into the kitchen and returned with two bottles of water. He joined me on the couch as we both opened our water and took a drink. I Asked Cole again about his comment that being him isn’t always great.
He took another drink and sighed, “All my life people have seen me as the cute kid, the good-looking teenager and the handsome young man.”
I nodded, “Well yeah, because you are.”
He chuckled, “I just got lucky in my dip in the gene pool. I also have been blessed with above average intelligence. Oh God, that sounds like I am bragging.”
I said, “Not at all. You really are the whole package.”
Cole said, “See, that’s what I mean. Because I’m attractive and smart, people have always treated me differently. I am expected to be an athlete because I have this body. I should also date the head cheerleader in high school. I should aspire to be a doctor or a lawyer because I got good grades. The only people who wanted to be my friends were all shallow and thought hanging around me would make them more popular. The really nice decent kids in my class were afraid to approach me because they weren’t as smart or as good-looking as I was.”
I thought about what Cole had just told me, he’s right, people do treat people differently based on their appearance. Even I was guilty of this. I had always assumed perfect people had it so easy, I never imagined they had problems too. And those problems aren’t all that different from us regular people.
I said, “I never really thought about it like that, but I admit, there were kids in my class that I didn’t talk to. I assumed they wouldn’t want to talk to me or be my friend because I wasn’t as good as they were.”
Cole nodded, “I never really had friends in school. I had a lot of kids that wanted to hang around me, but we weren’t friends. Most just wanted to use me to make themselves look better. Even now as an adult, people assume I won’t want to talk to them.”
I sighed, “I assumed that when you walked in the club tonight. You really surprised me when you sat next to me and started talking to me.”
He nodded, “I’m just a guy looking for the same thing that most other people are.”
I asked, “What are you looking for? What do you like to do when you are not working?”
Cole shrugged, “I like my job, but only want to work 40 hours a week. I want to have time to live my life too. I go to the gym two or three nights a week, but only for about an hour. I like to take long walks through the park when the weather is nice, maybe hit the golf course once a week. If the weather is cold, I love to curl up on the couch with a good book or watch a movie. I love my family and like to spend time with them. I know it sounds boring, but that’s what I like, and I guess I’m looking for someone who likes those things too. Someone I can come home to and tell about my day and they want to tell me about their day too. I would like to spend my life with that person.”
I took a deep breath, “I hope this doesn’t sound fake, but you described a perfect life to me. I like all those things and am looking for someone to do all of that with too.”
Cole smiled, “It doesn’t sound fake at all. I can’t explain it, but I have had a picture of the perfect man in my head for years. When I saw you sitting at the bar tonight, my first thought was, that is the man that I have pictured. Once we started talking, I was even more convinced.”
I’m sure I blushed, a man like Cole was picturing me as his prefect mate. My mind was racing, what do I now? I stared into those blue eyes and at those kissable lips trying to think of something to say.
The only thing I could think of was, “Can I kiss you?” Dang, I couldn’t believe I had the guts to say those words.
This time, Cole blushed as he nodded and said, “Yes, I would like that.
We slowly moved toward each other until our lips met. I had wanted to kiss those lips since Cole walked into the club. The fact that he wanted to kiss me too, only made this moment sweeter. Cole leaned back, pulling me on top of him as we continued to kiss. Our hands exploring each other’s body as our tongues tangled.
Cole broke our kiss and gave me a sexy smile, he said, “That was incredible, would you like to take this to my bedroom?”
I nodded, “Oh God yes.”
He chuckled as he helped me to my feet and took my hand to lead me down the hall. My aching cock was already hard as stone and from the bulge in Cole’s pants, I could see he was in the same state.
I was glad that Cole turned on the small bedside lamp. I wasn’t overly bright, but it gave off just enough light that I could get a good look at Cole in all his glory.
As soon as we were standing next to the bed, Cole turned to me and gave me another kiss. He smiled at me as he untucked my shirt and began to pull it over my head. He tossed it to the floor and then ran his hands across my chest, tweaking my erect nipples in the process. The smile had not left his face as he touched every inch of my exposed chest, abs and back. When he stood back in front of me, I reached to unbutton his shirt, he stopped me.
“Not yet, I’m not done enjoying your body.”
I swallowed hard as he started to unfasten my belt and jeans. Once he had them unzipped, he pushed them off my hips. He went to his knees and pulled my shoes and socks from my feet. I put my hands on his shoulders as he helped me step out of my jeans completely. My breath quickened as I now stood in front of the most gorgeous man in the world in just a pair of black boxer-briefs.
Cole stood up and gave me another quick kiss as he slipped his fingers into the waistband of my underwear and pushed them down. They fell down around my ankles, and I was suddenly so self-conscience. I was completely naked as Cole was still fully clothed. His hand brushed my engorged manhood as he looked my entire body over, from head to toe.
He licked his lips and whispered, “You are absolutely perfect.
I rolled my eyes and replied, “Yeah, right.”
He pulled me in for another kiss and said, “I will never lie to you, you are perfect.”
Before I could protest any further he kissed me again.
I asked, “Can I take your clothes off now?”
He grinned, “You can do anything you want.”
I immediately went to the floor and removed his shoes and socks, damn, even his feet were incredible. I stood and after a quick kiss, I started to unbutton his shirt. As it fell open my hands began to roam all over his chest and six-pack abs. I went up to his shoulders and pushed the shirt off; it was soon on the floor next to mine. I let my fingers drift down the deep ripples of his stomach.
I unbuckled his belt and jeans; his hard cock nearly burst through the zipper. I pulled his jeans down and helped him step out of them. I sighed as I was eye level with his red Calvin Klein briefs. God, even his underwear was more exciting than my plain black Hanes. Cole smiled as he looked down at me and I hooked my fingers on the waistband then slowly pulled them down. The most perfect cock sprang out, nearly poking me in the eye. It was six inches and just the right thickness. Not too big and not too small.
I stood back up for another round of kissing. Cole wrapped his hand around both of our cocks and started to stroke. I had never thought that I measured up down there, but I was same size as Cole. Maybe I wasn’t as inadequate as I had always thought.
Cole must have read my mind, he said, “I told you; you are perfect.”
I blushed as we fell onto the bed kissing, our hard dicks rubbing together and both of us leaking precum by the gallon.
Cole panted, “Can I suck your cock?”
I said, “Only if I can suck yours.”
Neither of us waited for the other to answer, we just pivoted into a sixty-nine position and began to feast. He tasted so good, I could suck that cock forever. The only thing better than sucking him was the way Cole sucked me. It’s not like I have a lot of experience, but I have had my share of blow jobs. Cole knew exactly what he was doing, I only hope I was giving him an equal level of pleasure.
Cole answered that question when he pushed me off his cock and said, “God Jess, you are going to make me cum. Will you eat my ass and fuck me?”
Damn it, could this guy push my buttons anymore. Cole quickly rolled onto his back and pulled his legs up, exposing his glorious pink pucker. That was all the invitation I needed, I dove in tongue first. His ass tasted even better than his cock. I tongue fucked him with all my might as Cole moaned and groaned his approval.
He finally said, “Damn it Jess, fuck me already. Please.”
My cock was happy to honor his request. I was soon balls deep inside Cole’s velvet love tunnel. His legs were resting on my shoulders, and our lips were once again locked together. We got into rhythm, and it didn’t take long for me to feel my cum working its way out of my nuts.
I panted, “I’m getting close.”
Cole panted back, “Fill me with your juices.”
I exploded before he finished the sentence. I thought the spasms would never stop; this was by far the biggest load I have ever shot in my life.
Another kiss and I fell off to Cole’s side. He asked, “Did you like that?”
I was still trying to catch my breath, I just nodded, unable to find my words.
Cole chuckled, “Do you want me to fuck you?”
Still speechless, I just nodded faster. Cole pushed a pillow under my hips and rolled me onto my stomach, my ass now pointed upward. Cole crawled between my legs and pulled my ass cheeks apart. His magic tongue went to work on my hole, causing my cock to suddenly spring back to life. Just when I thought I couldn’t take it any longer, Cole replaced his tongue with the head of his cock. He leaned down to kiss the back of neck, and he slowly pushed in, sending me to a whole new state of euphoria. His manhood hitting my sweet spot with every stroke. I wanted his seed deep in my guts, I squeezed my ass muscles to give Cole a hint.
He breathed in my ear, “Oh yes, you are going to get my entire load, don’t you worry.”
I sighed, my message was received and acknowledged. A few minutes later, I was rewarded by the warm feeling of Cole’s love juices filling me to the brim. I rolled over with Cole still on top of me, we were, of course, kissing again.
We cleaned up and Cole asked me to spend the night. I, of course, agreed and had the best night’s sleep of my entire life. I was even happier to wake up in Cole’s arms the next morning. I think I could get used to this in a hurry.
Twenty years later…
I woke up alone in my bed and let out a heavy sigh. Before I could start to feel too sorry for myself, the door began to slowly open.
Cole smiled, “Good morning birthday boy.”
I smiled back, “Thank you. You got out of bed early today. What’s the matter, didn’t want to sleep with an old man?”
He chuckled, “You are only two months older than me, you are not an old man. You are 48, you aren’t an old man until you are 50.”
I rolled my eyes, “Oh God, now I have something to look forward to.”
Cole gave me a kiss, “Don’t worry, it took me twenty years to get you trained the way I want, I don’t have it in me to try to train another man.”
I shook my head, “Are you sure, I’m not half as good as I was twenty years ago.”
He laughed, “You’re right, you aren’t half as good.”
I sighed, “Gee, thanks.”
He gave me another kiss, “You are twice as good.”
Okay, he redeemed himself.
Cole said, “Now, get your lazy ass out of bed so we can start your birthday celebration.”
I pulled on some clothes as I asked, “And what do you have planned?”
He grinned, “For starters, Hayden and Hannah have made you breakfast. Pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs.”
I laughed, “Hmm, that’s funny, that’s Hayden’s favorite breakfast.”
Cole chuckled, “Yeah, Hannah noticed that too.”
I walked into the kitchen, Hannah wrapped me in a hug, “Happy birthday Papa Jess.”
I hugged her back, “Thank you sweetheart.”
Hayden gave me a fist bump, “Yeah, happy birthday old man.”
I smiled, God the last twenty years have been amazing. First of all, I met Cole in the club that night. After our first night together, we were inseparable. We moved into Cole’s house after six months and married a year later. My family loved Cole from the first time they met, and Cole’s family was equally welcoming to me.
After we were married a year, we started to look into adoption. It took three years, but fifteen years ago we were blessed with Hannah and Hayden. Their single mom had originally planned to raise her baby on her own, but when she found out she was having twins, she decided to put them up for adoption. She was only 18 years old, was just starting college and she had no real support from her parents. We have included her in the twin’s lives and they know the whole story, although they have never met their biological father. The mother doesn’t know where he is, she never saw him after the night they spent together. She is now married to great guy and has two more kids with him.
I laughed as Hayden gave me the fist bump, he had recently sat Cole and I down and explained that 15 was too old to be hugged, especially when he had his friends over. He also asked that we keep our public displays of affection to a minimum around his friends.
I asked, “Is it because we are gay?”
He scowled, “No, it’s because you’re old and it’s gross when old people kiss. It’s gross when Blake’s mom and dad kiss and it’s also gross when Josh’s two moms kiss.”
Cole and I laughed and of course, as any good parent would, we used this information to embarrass him every chance we got. We were also friends with Blake and Josh’s parents, and after we told them about our conversation with Hayden, they joined us in our mission to embarrass our teenage sons.
Not only did we have great kids, but Cole took over for his boss when he retired and now owned the firm. I have been promoted to department head at my insurance company. We bought a new house shortly after we got the twins.
I always thought I would never have a perfect life, it only took meeting a man that was out of my league to change that.
The End.
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