Growing up on Family Farm

Thanksgiving was great, we we’re all in a good place, with only 4 weeks till our next holiday rendezvous 4 way, Jordan and I agreed on hosting the Christmas bash, we are planning on making it a full weekend of activities.

Jordan and I have definitely spoken many times about marriage, Chet, Ted and I each own on third of the farm, Jordan legally has no ownership, since we bought his family farm, however it is understood, by all, that even though he is a non owner, he is a partner. It is also understood that should anything ever happen to me, my third will go to him as long as we’re still together. For some reason we have enough trust in each other that until we’re married this will be the understanding.  Jordan is ok with it all too as if we didn’t make the transaction he might very well still be selling popcorn at the movie theater.

There was a State Farm exposition upstate, about a 4 hour drive from home. We all agreed that Ted, Chet, and I would attend, and Jordan would run the day to day operations at the farm, after all it was December and we were in winter dormancy months, with just trying to find enough to keep the farmhands working, so we’re all set come spring planting. Chet, Ted, and I were packed ready to head out for a long week away, I gave Jordan a big hug and kiss, told him I’d make it all up to him when I got back, and that I’d call every night, as I was sure I’d have to let Ted and Chet have sweet time in our double room we were sharing. He said sarcastically “yeah sure, you three are going to be 3 waying before you unpack your bags”. I replied “no, we made a deal, just each other till our Christmas bash” he smiled and said “get the hell going, so you can get back here sooner” and we left.

We arrived at the hotel, unpacked, got our credentials, had dinner, did some quick scouting of the convention floor, so we knew where we wanted to hit and what order we wanted to visit the booths, we got back to the room about 10, and Chet suggested we could have an old time sake threesome. While tempting, I managed to stay true to my word with Jordan and declined. I told them they had an hour, as I’d head outside to call Jordan, and let them know I’d be coming back through that door whether they were done or not. Laughing.

We all behaved, even though the temptations were there. We attended several seminars, ordered a bunch of new stuff, signed up for mailings and subscriptions, and overall had a very productive week. We finished a good day early and decided we’d head home early. I wanted to surprise Jordan so I never told him. We had a great time and discussed many new and exciting ideas for future endeavors and set some lofty goals for our future. I talked to both about proposing marriage to Jordan finally, and Making him official, and I thought I would do it on Christmas, and having a small ceremony in the spring after planting. I also discussed us, and bringing Jordan full circle into our partnership as equal owner, with some touchy conversation as splitting my third or redistribution of ownership to make it four equals, we wound up tabling that conversation till a later date.

The boys dropped me in my driveway with my bags on the porch, as they headed to their house. I went inside, checked the mail, took off my coat. I heard Jordan upstairs, so I stripped down and snuck up the stairs missing every squeaky spot that I knew of, flung open the door, saying , “I missed you, you freaky bastard, I’m here for,…….”, but I saw one of our ranch hands Randy butt naked fucking Jordan on my bed in my bedroom. “Fucking  Jesus Christ” I yelled at the top of my lungs, “what the FUCK”? Randy jumped down and grabbed a floor lamp to defend himself, Jordan jumped up, saying “oh my god, I’m so, so sorry”, both with shrinking hard ons, as Jordan began to cry, realizing he just fucked up his entire life. I stood there in disbelief, thinking back to my mom finding me and Chet, dejavu. I similarly turned and flew down the stairs, picking up my clothes and dressing, yelling back up the stairs, “I want both of you out of this house in 10 minutes, I’m getting the shot gun now, if I can hit you, I will, so get moving right fucking now, and don’t bother going to the hands house either, go to fucking town, naked if you will, right fucking now” Randy ran past me still naked with his jeans in his hands hiding his dick. Jordan came down the stairs begging me, still naked. He reached to touch my arm, to attempt a healing hug and I don’t know what came over me and I smashed him in the face with the shotgun stock, knocking him to the floor he got up screaming as he ran out the front door. All I could do was sink to the floor against the wall, shotgun in hand and uncontrollably sobbing, my life as I knew it was over, totally devastated, and heartbroken.

Jordan apparently ran to Chet and Teds, across the field and crossed the near freezing creek, obviously still naked. I pulled myself together enough to call Ted, to blatantly let him know Jordan and I were done, and that he was fucking Randy who I also just fired. Ted was furious and assured me it would be ok, and he’d kill Jordan if he saw him, I could hear Chet in the background asking “what the hell is happening, is squirt ok”? Ted hung up as I went upstairs with my luggage. I couldn’t even go inside the room, I went back to the kitchen and got a strong bourbon, right from the bottle strong.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, Jordan showed up at Chet and Teds, Ted said he was ready to bash his fucking head in. Chet stopped him, and thankfully for Jordan, was able to keep them apart, he locked Jordan in a bedroom and told him to find some clothes. Meanwhile he sat Ted down and they began to talk. Hours later Chet called me, asked if I was ok, and that Ted was headed over to spend the night, he immediately knew by then I was plastered drunk. Chet also disclosed Jordan was there and he would be talking with him, but he was spending the night with him, and I wasn’t to do anything about it, not that I could. Ted called the hands house to see if Randy showed, they of course said no, as if he did, he would have warned them to cover for him, but Ted said ,to please keep him there if he showed and let him know, all he wanted to do was talk to him, and assured them nothing was going to happen to him, please trust him and all he wants to do is talk .

Ted arrived to me slumped over the kitchen table, my phone still connected to Chet, he hung it up and moved me to the couch where I barfed my brains out all over the floor. He laid me down as he returned to the kitchen to get cleaning supplies. I woke up several hours later, Ted was laying next to me hugging my body, assuring me I’d be ok, and that I was loved, deeply loved by he and Chet, and although I didn’t want to hear it, he said Jordan too. He assured me it would be ok, but it was a mistake, but rest assured Jordan was deeply in love with me and then he said “Face it squirt, you are so freaking in love with him you’ve gone off the deep end here”. “Somehow, I’m not sure how yet, but I know it’s going to all be ok” he said that magical line once again, “it is what it is, and this too will pass and life will go on”. I was still crying but I had no more tears to shed, the pain was intense, my whole body hurt, but I focused on my heart. Ted was right, I loved Jordan. Maybe we can work this out, I thought, then yelled out “Fuck no”. then I asked Ted “what happened to you saying you were going to fucking kill him if he showed his face to you guys, then you invited him in to sleep there? Fuck No”

I later found out Ted got a call from another hand and was told that Randy was indeed there, he was packing his shit upstairs, and wanted to know what the hell happened, Ted said keep him there and assure him I’m not going to hurt him, just keep him there, he would come over as soon as he could. At some point after I fell asleep, completely out of it, Ted went over to the hands house and spoke to Randy, telling him he didn’t have to leave tonight, let’s let things settle down, “You know it was terribly wrong what you did”, He said he wasn’t sure what would happen but be ready to possibly leave if he and Chet couldn’t help to fix it. But either way he could go if he wanted to, and he would offer a good reference if he did, and Ted explained he understood. Had I known I would have killed both Ted and Chet for this outright betrayal. Thankfully I didn’t find this out till much later. Ted also advised Randy to stay in the house and out of sight, and explained to the remaining farm hands that this topic and Randy was off limits to any further conversation especially to me, Ted then explained we was going to try to sort this all out.

What I didn’t realize at the time both Ted and Chet really had my best interest in their sight, they didn’t really care about Randy one way or the other, but they both loved me so much they wanted to fix me and Jordan, if it was at all possible.

Monday came and it was normal for Chet, Ted, Jordan and I to have a brief meeting before we started our day. Ted woke me and asked if I was up to it, I wasn’t, but I knew he wanted to, I said”Yeah, I guess, but forgive me if I’m out of it. He assured me it would be ok. He made a call to Chet and informed him we were on our way over. As we approached the door, Ted said “now Squirt I want you to keep an open mind, and were just here to talk, we want to lay the cards on the table and put all this to bed and behind us if we can, if we can’t then we can’t. I looked at him with terror in my eyes, saying “You’re setting me up”. He said “we need to do this and you know it”. We opened the door and Chet and Jordan wearing a pair of Chet’s oversized bibs were sitting at the table, Ted was holding me by the arm. I forcefully pulled away from Ted, Chet stood up between me and Jordan, as I yelled out “YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH ASSHOLE”, “I WANT YOU OFF THIS GOD DAM FARM NOW!!!” as I charged right into Chet who grabbed my arm and lifted me off the floor, I think my feet were still running. I saw Chet and Ted look at each other as they sat me down and told me not to move. I glanced across the table at Jordan who was Crying uncontrollably, gasping for air, mumbling “he was sorry, so sorry, please forgive me, I love you and only you, you were my first, and I want you to be my last” yesterday was a stupid, stupid mistake, and I have no good reason”, Jordan got up and ran to the room he slept in last night and closed the door.

Chet and Ted remained and tried to calm me down, they said “we were your firsts, and we had some good times right? And Jordan was an inexperienced novice, lost in his own sexual feelings when you showed him some things, and you went ahead and did some things with some others do you”. “Yes” I replied “but that’s different”, “Yes its different but look at his perspective, he’s younger than all of us, he’s very inexperienced, except for you, and he never had a chance to sow any wild oats. It’s not an excuse for what he did, it’s wrong, but you two are perfect for each other and we love you, but we’ve grown to love Jordan too, but we love you first. Now let’s go back to our conversation in the car yesterday morning, you wanted to ask him to marry you, those feelings must still be somewhat inside you? Don’t let this incident no matter how severe it was, change that, try to work it out, work on your relationship, and hopefully it will be stronger. It isn’t going to happen today, but we think after talking to Jordan, it can still be saved, if YOU want it to”. Chet then said “He spoke to Jordan last night and he’s convinced that Jordan wants to save it, no matter how long it takes, So we’ve got one side of this dispute, the one who did the wrong and who admits it, and is willing to try to fix it, cause he loves you, and we’ve got you Squirt, who isn’t hearing any of it, and get me, I understand that, but if you don’t try, you may never forgive yourself for letting him go. Let’s look at it this way he fucked someone else, he cheated on you, he knows it and I think he truly regrets it even if you didn’t catch him in the act, at least talk with him, well sit here, and we won’t take sides. Please?”

I shook my head yes with some tears forming in my eyes, Chet went to get Jordan, he came out of his room as I wiped my eyes and looked him in those big red bloodshot tear filled eyes, as he sat he pleaded with me “I’m Sorry, I’m sorry, I am so sorry”

Can Jordan and I repair what’s broken?