In college I messed around a few times with a guy, nothing more than letting him suck my cock. I wasn't attracted to him and he wasn't very good at it. This bugged me cause the rumors were that guys sucked better dick than chicks. Once I tried sucking his but he was not hung well, thin and maybe five inches when hard.

I still was turned on by hot guys but having tried it and not getting much from it I thought I was totally straight so I gave it up.

A couple years passed and I was still jerking off and thinking about hot guys. Confusion over this odd situation left me frustrated.

Today I am forty years old and that body of a twenty something has slowly changed. Still weighing the same but with less muscle definition and I don't look like a hot twenty year old. A little more belly, hair a little thinner but still in pretty great shape. I could use some more time at the gym but in today's economy paying gym fees is not in the budget.

Back then I was ( and still am) 5 11, 160 lbs. dark hair (no gray). Naked I looked good. Nice ass, nice cock, slight curve, about 7 when hard and a nice six inches round, nice head. Came three to four times a day (that has changed, now it's twice). I was not very hairy then, now I have a nice even light coat on my chest, stomach arms and legs. A few strays on the back and some around my hole.

At 24 I was horny all the time. One night after getting home from the bar I was super horny and decided to see if I could find a guy to suck my dick. I lived in a decent sized town in the midwest. I called a gay chat line and left a description and waited. To my surprise I was getting plenty of messages! This fed my ego and I was turned on. There were a bunch of guys who wanted to suck my dick. Some guys wanted to fuck me and one wanted to nail my balls to the floor. That was not working for me. After chatting with a few guys I jerked off and came and went to bed.

This repeated for a couple of weeks. I would chat with some of the same guys and sort of got to know them. Finally one guy talked my into coming over to his place.

He lived nearby in an apartment. He said he was 45 (my hunch was he was lying but that was ok. He didn't know how older guys really turned my on, I would have gladly gone over if he was 55) in ok shape, salt and pepper hair, hairy. I will call him George.

So I went to his place. He was nice enough looking and had a belly but nothing too huge. We watched some porn (a first for me) and had some drinks.

He was trying to seduce me or not pressure me, one of the two. But I was going ape shit for the chance to get at his cock. This was not what usually got me off, it was the guy going crazy for mine. As I sat there I was screaming inside (attack me George, rip off my clothes, grab my head and shove your cock in my mouth!!)

He took it slow. Maybe this was on purpose. After the first couple of drinks he said I could get comfortable so I gladly took off my tee shirt. He talked about his sex life, kind of meager sounding, being tested and clean, what he enjoyed, what got him hard. He really was generous in making me comfortable and feeling safe.

Watching the porn I got hard and finally I pulled my shorts down to show off my cock. He stroked it and I loved it.

I came for the first time with another guy. It was pretty late at this point so I went home and said I would like to visit again.

A couple days later I was on the chat line and so was he. I went over. This time I was out of my tee and shorts right away and sat in my briefs to show off. We watched porn and talked. He sucked my dick. It was amazing. Then it was late and he said he needed to go to bed.

Over the next two weeks I went over several more times. I was able to suck his cock and enjoyed his talents on mine. He never took off his tee, not sure why.

He had a decent porn collection and the bondage stuff really got me going, he asked one night if he could tie me up. Wanting him to want me and keep inviting me over I agreed. The first time my wrists were bound and I had a cock ring on was amazing. It was like he had the key that unlocked my sexual desire.

The visit after this initial bondage I told him how horny I was thinking about it and he said 'You look so hot tied up I wish you could see it.'

This was music to my ears. I said I wish I could too.

So out came the video camera. He would record as he would tie me up and play with my balls, cock, ass, feed me his cock. He played with me and recorded it many times. I loved it. I did ask for a copy and he said he would but wanted a trade. I was curious.

During our visits and games he would ask all about what turned me on and fantasies and he would do his best to make the ones that he was into happen, like recording me tied up, sucking his cock.

After all this time he had never fucked me. I asked him why and he wouldn't really answer. I told him I wanted to be fucked. So he said he would make me copies of the tapes if I would let him watch while a guy fucked me and he taped it.

My cock was rock hard! He wanted to watch me get fucked by another guy, a guy I would not know, and tape it! Fuck me I was horny and said yes.

About an hour later the guy came over, about 40, thin, nice body . I was laying on the bed 'sleeping', he walked over, naked and placed his cock on my lips. I took it in. The stranger fucked my face, felt me up, he used me like I was his sex toy and I was in heaven. He finally bent me over and fucked me. He then fucked me standing up, on my back on my side, half off the bed. It was all recorded. In the end he came on my back, got dressed and left.

George get off on this scene and I did too. Now when I came over it was a given he would film me naked. We would get on the chat line and find guys to come over and fuck me. Some would let us film it some wouldn't. George always watched and always made sure they had condoms on. I got copies of the tapes.

My favorites are the guy who fucks me, pulls off the condom and then shoves his cock into my mouth and shoots his load. The close up is of my smile as he pulls his cock out and the cum runs down the sides of my mouth.

The first guy is a fav too. The big muscle black guy was not as huge as I dreamed, but fucked me well anyway.

After three years George moved and we lost contact. In time the tapes were damaged and now are long gone. I am sad about that, it would be hot as hell to watch them again now.

I enjoyed my years as George's personal porn star.

After they ended I continued my very horny life, playing safe and trying to fill the fantasies of the guys I would hook up with.

Part of me is a little bummed that this all happened before the internet age. I think finding pics and video of me sucking cock and getting fucked on line would be hot.

But I have hot memories of giving it all up for men and loving it.

Maybe being 40 it's my turn to find a guy who is new into gay sex and help him explore.

Maybe, if there is interest I will write about what happened after George left.



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