Gay wolf

Stomach churning, sweat dripping down back between shoulder blades. Nausea. Shaking extremities. Unable to focus. Heart racing. I stumble through sentences explaining the dire situation to his wife. I forget his name but I carry on regardless breaking bad news. The woman weeps as realisation of seeking hope fades and her husband will die soon. What do I say to this poor woman? This is my third conversation of this nature today and my compassion has faded like the petals of a daffodil past it’s prime. I know that in an hour or so his breathing will get faster until he has a respiratory arrest. His wife, the woman my words had not consoled will shout for help but I am unable to help. I have no other obligation other than making him pain free. Do not resuscitate she agreed. After a painful discussion with a twitchy junior doctor. A worse conversationalist than myself and a blunt instrument when a more intricate and gentle language would have helped. How do I know if he is pain free? He cannot speak. He is basically unconscious. I just give the prescribed medication for a dying person after a doctor has googled the correct guidelines or pathway to follow. I have evolved into a robotic simulation of myself. I go through the motions but I am detached from reality. I say motions as I am void of emotions. A mask and visor obscures my face like a superhero. Am I a hero? I feel it would be more heroic to give up, however, the Thursday clap would be such a waste of energy. Who would devour the free food. Stuffing my face to suppress the sadness and entrapment this viral pandemic has created....I am so sick of wrapping bodies.

I have always hated being told what to do. I want to be the one whom makes his own decisions and choices. My choice was to be a wolf, not a sheep. My choices took me down the rabbit hole. This book is my story. A story that has not ended yet.

Perspiration encapsulates my skin meandering to a halt as the moisture disappears into my bed sheets. I am lying in my own wet filth. A vivid nightmare of corpses speaking to me have awoken me from my disturbing sleep. What little sleep I have is traumatic. My mouth is dry and I need water in order to swallow. I cough and my chest hurts. I need to get out of bed but my heart will race if I move. A problem they say is down to stress and anxiety. I fear going outside in case I have another episode but I know what needs to be done. I force myself to a seated position and with every fibre of will power I own, I stand. Today is the day I become a wolf. I walk across the landing to the bathroom naked and exposed. I begin shaving my body hair off so I am completely smooth. As I look at my naked clean body I turn slightly to see my bum. It is smooth and soft to touch and I feel that I am now desirable. I gently stroke my bum cheek with one hand and tease my nipple with my other hand. I feel an erection and I start to masturbate. I’m so fucking hot I narcissistically stroke my penis as I’m bent over on all fours like a submissive slut. My bum exposed to the morning air gently breezing through the open slit of a window. I ejaculate on the bathroom floor and watch the white gelatinous liquid for a moment then lap it up like a feline. “I can not leave a mess” I thought.

James is an athletic man in his early thirties. He is a good looking guy. The build of a gymnast. Very clean cut and honest. Works the usual nine to five in a financial services role. Drives a Porsche and on the surface is a so called normal person. What others can not see though is what he does in his spare time. A single successful man in his thirties and no wife or kids. Interesting. James finishes up his days work of monotonous figures and number crunching and changes into his gym shorts and vest. He jogs the three mile path through a large park area with picnic benches. As it is Friday afternoon families and young professionals are beginning to gather in the spring sunshine. A dog is seen chasing another and jumps into the lake. The owners shouting their names in an ever ascending volume until they run back wet and disobedient. A young family are having a picnic and some young men playing frisbee while behind a game of football is starting. The park is full of life but James does not stop he leaves the park and buys a bottle of water from a street vendor. This is not the best part of town and after walking a short distance James turns down a dark alley leading to a small warehouse with a sign crudely stating sauna. An unusual place to have a sauna but James knows where he is going and presses the buzzer to enter a reception area where he picks up a towel. He uses a locker which he has a key for, putting his wet gym clothes in a plastic bag and in the same locker are some clean jogging bottoms and a T-shirt. He is naked in this small changing room when two naked men walk in and say hello to James. They leave through a door to the sauna. After showering James also uses this door. He remains naked and stands in the door way a moment before entering. James has dark hair combed into a rough side parting, green piercing but compassionate eyes and a secret smile that warms people to him. His skin is slightly tanned and he has defined pectoral muscles and a very toned flat stomach. Groomed chest hair tracks down between his pectoral muscles and trails to his navel where it neatly becomes thinner until it disappears. Below is a thick long penis with a large vein running down the left hand side of his shaft. He has a foreskin that conceals a large head of the penis that despite being flaccid at present is larger that a ripe tangerine. His testicles are full and heavy. They compliment the huge piece of prime meat that is his penis. His legs are muscular with a small amount of hair. To the back of James is a muscular back. Not an weight lifter but definitely does push ups. His bum is toned and muscular due to the jogging . Overall a disciplined physique. As he walks slowly to the bar area the tip of his penis gently taps just above the knee making a slight patting noise. James orders a mineral water from the bartender who is dressed in just leather cowboy trousers and no shirt. Another man sitting down smiles at James but James is here for something else.

I get the number three bus to the industrial part of town. I walk down an alleyway that leads to the sauna I often go to. It’s how I pick them. I’ve fantasised about this for many years but tonight I may find someone to act out my fantasy. I am nineteen years old and slim with a completely hairless body. I have short brown hair that does it own thing but mainly sweeps from left to right. I am nervous socially but mainly use online chat rooms to meet people. This time i am going to be a wolf and I am on the hunt for something a bit different. I enter the sauna and pick up a towel from receptionist. I change into a jockstrap and nothing else. I walk into the bar area and notice a well hung physically fit man in his thirties and feel my smooth 6 inch cock harden. I move through another door and there is a room that is a faux toilet cubicle. I’m this cubicle there are two hole cut out and it’s almost pitch dark. I wait with anticipation. The cubicle is very cramped and I feel something touch the side of my head. I turn and it’s a penis. So I hold it in my right hand and start to lick the tip it tastes slightly salty and hot. It’s about the same length as mine but a bit thicker. Definitely older than me. Smells very clean so I take more into my mouth. I start to suck and stroke the mans testicles. There was a taste of precum when I licked the tip. He was definitely wet. So I was not surprised when after sucking him for a minute I felt the tip swell and almost occlude my airway followed by hot liquid with a creamy texture and an indescribable taste squirt against the back of my throat. The large deposit of cum satisfied me and I swallowed it all. The penis retracted back into the hole and I was alone. My erection was throbbing in my jockstrap and wetting it. Should I keep them on or take them off? I stand up and walk out of cubicle. I’m extremely aroused and see another room. Again it’s dark but has a strange contraption. It has four restraints and is like a flat bed but the middle section is raised and at each corner there is a restraint. It was then out of the darkness I heard a voice say “get on the bed”.

James after finishing his drink went browsing in the various rooms. He stumbled across a cubicle where he watched a young man give an older gentleman a blow job. James was attracted to this smooth little feminine teenager and although the dark obscured the full picture, James was definitely aroused. He walked on to an empty room and waited. He liked the bed that allowed you to restrain someone in the doggy style position. James was a “top” so he was looking for a “bottom” with a tight bum hole. The young man would be perfect for this but he would take whatever he could get. After all it had been a hard week in work.

“Get on the bed.” I heard. As the man at the bar emerged naked and extremely well hung. Thicker than my wrist and approximately nine inches of throbbing meat. My anus tingled with excitement and my penis was wetter than before. I’m glad I shaved all my body hair off because I know he wants me because I’m young and smooth. I clamber onto the bed on all fours. It was quite nice having the middle section raised as it took the pressure off my knees and elbows. I feel his heat next to me and he starts examining my youthful buttocks by caressing them with his huge man hands. He opens them and looks at my anus. It’s pink smooth and extremely clean. He runs a finger from the crease of my testicles up to my anus then continues to the back of my neck making me shiver. He stands in front of me and restrains my hands. He moves his erection close to my lips and nose. I can not touch it yet but I can smell his sweet arousal. He pulls back his foreskin and it’s wet and smells of sex. He presses it to my lips and I inhale the aroma and gently kiss it. I open my mouth as he enters my face. Pushing deep into my throat I can taste so many flavours and my penis is so erect pushing against the bed sheets. I can feel the warm air hitting my exposed pink hole and I get the same tingling sensation. After sucking his shaft for a long time. He moves slowly behind me and locks my ankles in restraints causing me to over spread myself. I feel utterly exposed and at his mercy as he licks my hole . His tongue darts inside me and I push against his face wanting more. I tell him I want him to fuck me hard. I want his cum inside me. He then presses the tip against my hole and opens me up so wide I gasp. Then he slowly inserts his huge rod so far I feel it in my stomach. He proceeds to brutalise me by hard and fast penetration until he cums thick white cum deep inside me. He leaves me there and I am literally exhausted. He says nothing to me when he leaves but I want to know more about who he is. I want more sex like this.