Gary's Choice

Having Yuri’s dick in my mouth, was like this is for real. It was gross. I was on my knees with his big fleshy THING in my face. His calm scary voice telling me what to do. It was sicker having my Dad watching me. Neither of us counted on that. We both thought he was just going to drop me off. They’re cruel and smart. Their mind games of breaking everybody down and making you go along with crazy shit.

Yeah, so my Dad watched me give a blow job for the first time. I couldn’t tune that out. I obeyed Yuri and used my mouth like he told me to. He was a great teacher. After him, I was aware of the fine points of servicing and the importance of working on a guy’s balls. I felt like throwing up, but I did it no matter how much I gagged and choked. Tasting him. Feeling his dick twitch was revolting, I knew what was going to happen. He came and I was close to passing out from how bad I felt. I did my best to swallow it. With Dimitri it was less of a blow job and more of a face fucking that I adapted to.

Then the worst and most unbelievable thing. Sucking my Dad off. I know he didn’t want that. It was just something else to crush us. Things couldn’t be the same after that. Even taking into account the situation, it hurt that my Dad got so into it but he’s a man. In the end, a mouth is a mouth, even if it is your son's. Having done Yuri and Dimitri, I was better at it and my Dad got the benefit of that and he shot off huge. I was glad when he left.

The next time I saw him was at the hotel where Hank fucked me. Yeah, that was a shock, him being there to watch. Later on, Hank told me the deal. That he offered my Dad a bonus for that. He could have turned Hank down, but he didn’t. Then when Hank upped it for him to fuck me, I knew where it was going to go. My Dad was too weak to refuse and yeah, it was weird but so was everything! Money! All about fucking money!

Then there was the twisted honesty I had to accept. Hank was right. He said before he took my ass, that I was going to want it again and again. I did. He unlocked this new part of me. Riding Dimitri felt confusing and shameful, but I was into it. So, when it came to my Dad I got on my back and spread my legs for him. His big dick was so hard, and he pounded me out like a wild man. We both crossed the line as we each enjoyed it. My mind was messed up by now. This stuff didn’t seem wrong or impossible anymore. He left. I was hot for Hank fucking me again and I came so much from it. “You’re glowing!” he said after. I was real sore inside, and walking was a problem which was understandable after taking it four times. All the cum in me was proof of what happened.

Later on at the apartment, Dimitri gave a Yuri a full account of what went down as I sucked Yuri’s dick while I was nude. Then he had me bend over couch. “Super! This will make lot of money. This made your father happy. Now it will make me happy.” He fucked me fast and hard and came in me. “Whore needs his rest” he laughed. They let me go to my room and I passed out. The next morning, the routine started all over again. Guys would come to the apartment or Dimitri would take me to places where the men were. Sucking dick and getting fucked was my life now. Xep is Russian for dick. I was taught Russian words and sometimes had to speak to clients in Russian. Or they gave me orders in Russian.

The worst was once a week, they took me to their nightclub. Before we left, a woman would came over to dress me up as a girl! There was no end to how low I allowed myself to be taken down. She put makeup on me and a blonde wig. She showed me how to tape up my dick and balls. I had to put on panties that had a slit by my asshole so I could be easily fucked, a padded bra and a dress. “Great job, Slava!” said Yuri. “So beautiful!” said Dimitri.

They’d bring me to the club and put me in a private room where I was available for sex. It could be guys alone or more often a few at a time. They ranged from classy to thugs. They’d have their drinks with them. They’d sit on a couch and I gave them lap dances before the sex. Yeah, they knew I was guy. Kinky.

I would die to have a cheeseburger again. I’m mostly on protein shakes and all kinds of pills. I have to be as empty as possible inside and keep myself clean in order to get fucked periodically throughout the day. It was suggested that cigarettes would help with the hunger pangs and so I started smoking. Cocaine was made available to me. Sleep is secondary. There are clients at all hours. Also, it fires me up to perform and enhances my performance. I’m not really hooked on it. There are some heavy scenes. They have it all worked out. The other boys and I are merchandise to be maintained for maximum use.

I was so embarrassed when they showed me the profile they created for me on their whore website. Anyone can see me! Dimitri would be laughing when he’d read me the reviews guys wrote. You know, things like what a great cocksucker I was and how tight my ass was and that I was an awesome bottom.

Just over a week earlier, I came home from school and my Dad sat me down at the kitchen table. He was shaking and on the verge of crying. He slowly explained that he was in deep with some bad people. That with the restaurant closed, we were in worse shape than anyone in the family knew about. The only way out was for one of us kids to become a sex worker and work the debt off.

Whoa! I went totally numb as he continued. Having just turned 18 and being the youngest, he and my Mom wanted me to consider it. Holy shit! In a few minutes my life was a mess. My Dad was egging me on to have sex with men for money! To keep everyone else’s life on track. That my mother was for it! She was always more ambitious then him and she pushed him to take more risks than he was comfortable with. My older brother Robert was her favorite and my older sister Katherine was my father’s favorite, I knew that. The pressure on me. I did what I was supposed to do and said yes. My mother of course wasn’t there and let my father do the dirty work alone. Later on, she appeared for a fake crying scene. She's a bad actress. It was all settled.

The next part was so fucked up it was almost funny. My Dad at my laptop setting up gay porno sites for me to watch! So I could get a tutorial on gay sex! Like this was going to help! I was a straight teenager who was aware of gay sex but had no thoughts about it. Whatever people like to do. He left me alone and I got sick watching. I never saw things like that before! There was “normal” stuff, your basic cock sucking and ass fucking. I had gotten head from my ex-girlfriend a few times and sure it felt good, but I didn’t look closely at her when she did it. It was freaky seeing guys doing it to each other and how shameful the cocksucker looked with his mouth all contorted and his eyes popping. I couldn’t picture myself that way. I shuddered at the sight of a big dick going into some guy’s little hole and how it stretched around it. How they yelled from the pain and then got all happy. God no, not me! There was a lot of far out stuff. I had to shut it off. I couldn’t sleep thinking about it all.

The next day, I emailed friends that I changed my plans and was off to Ireland to go to college there! That was the cover story! I didn’t answer their confused responses. My ex-girlfriend wanted to meet up to say goodbye and I didn’t respond. I packed some clothes and my Dad drove me to Brooklyn.