Fresh Breath of No Air

Chapter 1

Nathan was a friend of friends. Personally never liked the guy myself. 6'6, skinny, pale with glasses and a grip like an anaconda. We shared classes, friends but more intimately choke holds. He loved showing off his strength in two forms, arm wrestling matches and choke holds. I can always recall one lunch before math period, he came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my neck. 

"Hey Nathan" I started clear but choked at the end. 

"What's up Justin? Thought you might like a hug?" His arms are tightening around my throat. 

I knew he wouldn't hurt me but instinctively my hands flung to my neck. No gap between his forearms and my neck. I couldn't speak anymore. 

"Nate…" I choked but stopped. Next thing I knew my head was laying on the desk. 

Sitting up, I looked across the room and watched as Nathan laughed with all his buddies. Teacher wouldn't do anything even if I was a snitch. 

That was four years ago. Since then I had flown across the country to my brother's house. Working for his company. During that time we bonded by hitting the gym. I'm no Steve Cook or Nathan McCallum but I was fit. I filled a shirt out nicely and confident enough half my social media posts were sleeveless or shirtless. 

Now, visiting home during the holidays arranged a friend reunion. Unofficial, this gathering would be just friends who all were in town again for the holidays or stayed in our hometown. Nathan was one of these guys. He was friends with Peter, as was I. 

We met at Nathan's house. While I didn't like the guy, his dad was some head of surgery living in the biggest house. Walking in the door, Nathan was the one to greet me. 

"You look like you've been hitting the gym," Nathan said to me. He slapped my chest and even grabbed my left pec. "Of yeah, dude, you hitting the juice?"

"Yeah man, I started lifting two years ago. Thanks for noticing. You start lifting, someday you'll be as strong as me." I said in a sarcastic and matter of fact tone. Nathan gave an inquisitive look, staring from top to bottom. 

"Oh yeah, so you think you're stronger than me? We might get the chance to find out." 

I just gave him a look and went on inside, focusing on my actual friends for the day. 

Hours went by and people started to dwindle, people leaving every 30 minutes or so until late. When I felt it was time to leave Nathan pulled me aside. 

"I've been thinking about what you said earlier, and I've been staring at your new body and muscles. If you are interested, either stay until everyone's gone or come back when I text and we'll settle things. Who's the real "king of the hill?"

Listening to this reassured me of two things. The first being that Nathan actually sees me as a threat, that I'm a pretty jacked dude. The other being a chance for revenge, being choked out will always be in my memory. 

"Sure, dude. I'll stick around a bit longer. You have a spare pair of clothes I can wear, jeans and a button up don't exactly move well when grappling." I replied eagerly, but kept my cool. This would be my moment to get some revenge and choke Nathan out in return for years ago.

"Of course man, you're shorter than me so my brother's clothes will fit you best. Afterwards before we start I'll go in and find something of his for you to wear." Nathan said smugly at the height comment. He's right though, Nathan is taller than me and his younger brother Gavin is a closer match. I ended up taking my shoes back off and hanging with everyone until the last person left, which only took another hour and a half. 

Chapter 2

"Looks like we are the only ones here." I say. "Are you still interested or are you too chicken?" I start getting arrogant, truth be told I don't know if I can beat Nathan in a wrestling match. Only thing I know is that I want to take him down and now might be my only chance. 

"Not at all. I'm ready, my family has got a home gym set up in the basement. A big area with those foam squares, so I don't break that delicate body of yours too badly. Are you ready?" He replies. 

"I'm just waiting for some clothes to take you down in, why don't you make like a good butler and get them for me." At this point all pleasantries and niceties have been thrown out the window. We each want to take the other down. 

He leaves the room and I hear noise coming from upstairs. Takes longer than expected but eventually he comes back down the stairs. Rounding the corner Nathan is wearing an athletic T-shirt with a pair of shorts that go to his knees. 

"Here" he chimes while tossing me some clothes. Throwing them just short of me in some power move I bend over to pick them up. I'm a size large, but it's a medium stringer tank top and a pair of shorts that must be between three and five inch inseam. I look up at him and in his direction. 

"They are the best I'm going to give you. A bit revealing but based on your Instagram you shouldn't have a problem with showing some skin. In fact if the shirt doesn't fit, don't wear one." Now he's taunting me. 

"They'll do." Not shying in any sense of the word I start to unbutton my shirt. One by one until I am able to slip it off my shoulders. He starts checking me out now that I'm exposed, I don't catch any hints of sexual intensity but challenging. The way a male lion in a pride will stare down another male outsider. I slip the shirt on and it's tight, but works. Best guess the shirt will tear if he grabs it at all. Then undoing my paints I slip them off, right leg then left. Once off I fold them neatly along my folded shirt and lay them on the couch. Again he is staring. My legs have always been a strength, even before lifting I was always told I had strong legs. Slipping on the shorts they felt natural, my actual size and something I would ordinarily wear on a leg day. 

"I'm good to go. Your parents are going to wonder why you are crying in the basement?" I joke with him. 

"Any noise will be yours, but no, parents went up early to our holiday cabin. I was going to join them tomorrow so I could host/attend our hangout." 

"Well then. Show me the way and let's get this started." I declare while swinging my arms and legs around, in the way a fighter or a bodybuilder warms themselves up before a competition. 

He leads me to a door next to the kitchen, down the stairs is a very impressive home gym. A wall full of mirrors, brand new looking machines (several for each muscle group,) and a large open mat area. He sets down some water bottles and a couple towels. I notice his towel is larger than mine, as if something is in the center of the fold. Before I can be too inquisitive he starts up. 

“Are you ready or do you need to do some more of that sissy warming up that you've been doing since the living room?”

Stepping to the opposite side of the mat I look him in the eyes, bend my knees slightly and lift my arms to be in front of my chest at the sides. “Im ready”

He jumps at me as I jump at him. We lock hands on one side and on the other I wrap the arm around the back of his neck while his free arm hooks under mine around his neck. We twist, pushing and pulling, while still standing. Eventually he swings his leg past mine and I’m on the ground. My arm is pushed across my chest and pinning the other, his body situated on top of me. His weight keeps me down. While taking deep and exhausting breaths he leans down,

“I should have mentioned over the past few years I’ve been staying fit with jiu jitsu. I’m not the best but I’m pretty good and have learned a few moves to use on a cocky arrogant jock.” My eyes start to widen and I can feel my heart beating faster, even more so than its quick pace in this struggle. 

Not knowing exactly what happened. He twists and wraps his legs around me, in an attempt to free myself he actually gets his arms around my neck. I’m back in that moment in highschool, blacking out I lose consciousness. Before I succumb completely, Nathan whispers in my ear, “I’ve got some fun plans for you tonight.” Then I am out.

Chapter 3

I woke up. I’m laying on my stomach, I notice my hands are pulled behind me with something tight holding them in place. Looking around I don’t see Nathan but then I hear the sound of ripping tape. He wraps his legs around mine and I feel tape going around my ankles, helpless I try moving but no use. Nathan starts to laugh. 

“Haha, sounds and feels like someone is awake. I had been thinking the entire time our friends were over about your introduction, your arrogance. I thought you needed a lesson and from the way you have been speaking to me, I was right.” My ankles get even more layers. “See I don’t get to play with too many guys in this way, too many want me to play with their dick or promise them sex after. You however have given me two opportunities, I get to live out a captured fantasy and you don’t even want sex after. I just get to have my way, my way.”

At this point he stands up and stands over me, I pull at my wrists and pull at my ankles but no use. He used layers of tape. Flipping me over he puts a foot on my chest. “We are going to have some fun.”
 
Protesting this whole time. I start yelling at him, “Screw you Nathan. Beating me in a grappling match is one thing but what is this kinky bondage stuff?” I squirm and yell. “Just let me go man, you won and we both know it. You bested me, I’ll go, and then we won't talk about or meet ever again.”

He listens but taking his foot off, he removes his socks. “You talk a lot. I didn’t think about taking you down all evening for nothing and I won’t let you go just because you are pathetic and begging. However, I don’t really need you to speak for my satisfaction. I just need some moaning and groaning.” Nathan takes his socks and rolls them up. Sitting on top of my back he lifts my head and pinching my nose forces my mouth open.

“Nathan don’t, just…” I’m cut off when the socks go in my mouth. The socks were soaked with sweat. I was disgusted but then my head was yanked again. Layer after layer, my mouth from the bottom of my nose to the tip of my chin was wrapped in duct tape. 

“Justin Justin Justin, when I went upstairs I switched my socks from tonight with a pair I wore for an intense and laboring day of working outside in the heat. I hope you enjoy this treat.” He says menacingly. 

Stepping off me I lay there on the floor, mouth sealed shut with sweaty socks and layers of tape, my wrists and ankles helpless and wriggling like a worm off the hook. Nathan steps over to the towel and alongside the roll of duct tape is a pair of scissors. 

“Justin I’m going to have my fun but first that shirt needs to go. I thought it would tear but your pathetic fight barely caused it to stretch.” Nathan leans down and cuts the strap over my left shoulder, then the right, followed by cutting along the center of the shirt. Yanking the shirt from me lifted me up slightly and slammed me back into the mat. Now feeling the cold of the mat on my chest and my stomach. 

Nathan tosses the shirt off to the side and puts the scissors down. Turning around he gives me a stare. Just standing still staring directly into my eyes. My body is frozen still but my mind is racing. I begin to think too much too fast, if he has been planning this with other guys all evening, what does he have planned. 

Nathan takes a step forward and sits on the floor. Taking my head in his hands he pulls me toward him and places me between his legs. I feel one leg bend, then the other but in a different position. 

“Now that you are all set I’m going to start. If you didn’t notice from high school, I love breath play, essentially its controlling the breath of another. Choosing when to allow them sweet sweet air, especially sweet when withheld for a minute or two or three.” Nathan continues while squeezing his legs. “See there are different ways to cut off air, one way is to cover the mouth and nose.” He gives my nose a pinch and I lose access to air for a few seconds. “Another is to squeeze the neck, such a vital part of the body yet so weak with nothing to protect your airway.” Nathan then squeezes his legs and my airway is blocked, the pressure in my head begins to build and my exposed nostrils mean nothing. “The final way is to prevent the lungs from expanding, this is done by squeezing the torso and preventing it from contracting. I won’t show you right now, but I will before the night is through.”

He pulls my head even closer and I feel his thighs on either side of my neck. They are strong and I am in no position to stop him, even if my hands were free. I begin to struggle and this only seems to please him, a smile forms on his face. 

“Let's begin.” His legs then squeeze tight and I can’t breath, I can’t think because of the pressure. If my airways isnt blocked, the blood to my brain certainly is. He releases. “Oh Justin, it won’t be that easy. See I am going to knock you out many times tonight but I’m going to bring you close even more times.” Nathan begins to squeeze again. This time I feel tears in my eyes, not from pain or from fear but the pressure. “Don’t cry - not yet.”

Chapter 4

He squeezes again and again and again. Each time I am helpless and on the brink of unconsciousness. Finally Nathan switches positions. This time he grabs me by my arms and situates me on my back. Sitting on my stomach he stares down at me. 

“You see that clock on the wall?” he asked me. 

I turn my head slightly and I see a digital clock on the wall, not an ordinary one but one of those crossfit competition ones. I turn back to look at him. 

“Justin, one of the goals for the night, besides having a ton of fun, is to see how long I can force you to hold your breath without passing out. The average breath holder can last a minute, maybe two. Others can last longer by a few minutes and then there are some such as freedivers that can really hold their breath. Those people have discipline. I will be your discipline tonight.”

Nathan reaches down towards my nose, “take a deep breath,” I do and he pinches my nose shut. It's completely silent. My nose hurts from how tight he is squeezing. I am doing pretty good, but looking at Nathan and then at the clock it had only been 17 seconds. “Not even 30 seconds and you’re looking around? You are not going to have a good night.” Seems like forever, my lungs are burning now. “Look at that - I can see your heart beating under and between your pecs. It looks like it's going pretty fast, better fast than not at all am I right?” 

He releases and I somehow exhale and inhale the largest breath I can recall.

“That's a good boy. Now that was 40 seconds, I wanted to go longer but you started to turn purple. No worries, and no need to feel disappointed. We will be doing this all night.” He puts his hands on my chest now, his hands cold, but I can't focus, I need to breathe. 

“Wow, feel those muscles contracting in, out, in, out, let me help you out.”

Nathan jumps up and puts all his weight on my chest, standing now with his hands braced on some bars hanging from the ceiling. I struggle to breath. The air comes in but it's not enough. 

“See this is that other method I discussed. Your lungs are powerful but are they strong enough to lift 220 pounds?” He follows that question he knows I can’t answer just staring at me. Giving me a look with a smile. “You don’t seem to be doing so well Justin. Clearly all that working out in the gym has been on the wrong muscles. Don’t worry, I'll give you a good lung workout.” Nathan steps off me. 

The room is now filled with the sound of my breathing. Heavy repetitive labored breathing. I need air. I need my mouth to be open and exposed so I can get deep breaths, my nose isn’t good enough. I continue this way for a minute or two to catch myself. Nathan comes back. He’s holding something but I can't quite make out its identity. 

“I figured I could use some help tonight.” Nathan states, “See here is a clothespin. My plan is to pinch this on your nose which frees my hands. Those lungs I want to work. While your nose is clipped I think I'll press on your chest a bit. Even practice some CPR chest compressions. Don’t worry, they wont be strong enough to break any ribs but they’ll sure mess you up.” He stares at the clip and holds it up to his face, admiring it like some treasure. 

“This is a pretty strong clip and I'm glad I won’t be the one wearing it.”

He bends down and repeats earlier commands, “take a deep breath, and really mean it this time,” I do and the clip is attached. Nathan stands back up and watches me, seemingly admiring his work. I lay completely still, in some uneducated guess that less struggle means less oxygen consumption. This doesn’t please him but he waits, “Smart move not to move, but don’t worry, you'll need air sometime and then I'll enjoy my struggle. 

He’s right. I lasted  a minute this time but I can’t take it anymore. My lungs are burning and I start to squirm. His feet are on either side of me, so rolling over and using the floor to remove the clip is impossible. “Man look at you, your chest is thrusting over and over again wanting air, even your stomach is going up and down, which congratulations on having some six-pack definition. In highschool i felt your abs were a cheat since you were skinny.” At this point I can’t take anymore and my whole body convulses fighting for air. 

“There you go boy, that’s what I want to see.” He bends down and removes the clip. Seconds away from blacking out or dying for sure. I breathe even heavier which I didn’t think was possible. I lay on my back focusing on nothing else besides breathing. 

Nathan twiddles the clip in his hands, “You workout so I assume you follow all that motivational bull for lifting. There is an expression I read once ‘You don’t start counting reps, until it starts to hurt’ something along those lines. I didn’t care to remember it accurately.” He steps to the side and continues bouncing his attention from the clip in his hand to my struggling, and now drenched, sweaty body. “It's funny how something so tiny can literally take your breath away? Isn't that funny?” He laughs, “I won’t consider allowing you to breathe until I know it starts to hurt, then I'll wait.”

He kneels down next to me. Placing one hand on my chest. “While we wait. You really have worked yourself in the gym. In high school you were skinny, itty bitty, so was I but I could take you then just as I can now.” He squeezes one side of my chest and then the other. “I mean check these pecs out, they are popping, and your arms are bulging with some veins showing.” He moves his hands to my arms, sliding them back and forth. “Oh yes, I watched your instagram for a while enjoying the free view and now I have the premium immersive experience. Yet, with all those muscles you are helpless. Nothing you can do except lay there like a worm, focusing on two things, breathing and my voice.