Originally published in the anthology Indecent Exposures (Bruno Gmunder).
By Natty Soltesz
On Thursday I went to the post office, hoping to get something from the unemployment office or the insurance company. See, my apartment caught fire a week after I lost my job. I'd been living in a motel room for the past five days, waiting for my renter's insurance check to come. In the meantime, I paid for the motel on a credit card that was dangerously close to its limit.
Well, I didn't get anything from the insurance company, but the unemployment office sent a letter telling me my claim had been denied. I had the right to file an appeal and could expect a hearing in three to four weeks.
I suppose I could've counted my blessings. Like the fact that I had renter's insurance. Or that even though almost all of my material possessions went up in the fire I'd managed to save my laptop, so I could use it to hunt for jobs.
But really, optimism will only get you so far. And that's why Dominic found me standing in front of the post office, sobbing into my sleeve.
"Matt?" I looked up at the sound of my name and there he stood, Dominic Mirani, my old college roommate. "Dude, are you okay?" I wiped my face.
"Yeah man," he said, smiling wide. We locked palms. "It's been..."
"Way too long," I said, and pulled him in for a hug. He looked better than I remembered - a little thicker around the middle, maybe, but virile. His dark hair was cropped in a messy, sexy way, and he had a thick beard.
"What are you up to?"
"Just...crying on the street."
"Want to get a coffee and talk about it?" We didn't get a block before it all came spilling out of me - the research study I'd been working for that lost its funding, my idiot downstairs neighbor who smoked in bed. Dominic listened, and as I spoke I began to realize that he was exactly the person I needed right then. We'd been close in college. He knew things about me, like how I didn't have any family in the area.
"You're coming with me," he said. "We've got an extra room; you can stay with us till you get back on your feet."
"'We'?" I said.
"Yeah me and Jamie. My girlfriend. We have a house together."
I tried to protest, conditioned as I was to feel guilty about needing something, to reflexively resist any type of assistance. Dominic was insistent. "Stop. You're coming with me," he said, leading me to his car, staring back to let me know that there wasn't any room for debate. I have to say, this dominance: it turned me on a little.
Dominic Mirani. We shared a dorm room our first year of college, through random placement. We didn't hit it off at first. Dominic was a jock, and I was an out and (maybe a little too) proud fag. He rushed a fraternity; I lobbied for a leadership position in our school's gay/straight alliance.
I never got the sense that he disliked me. Nor did I dislike him. We just kept to our opposite tracks.
Then came Christmas break. We both stayed on campus, which is how I found out Dominic had been raised by his grandparents, who lived in Arizona and didn't have the money to send him home. I told him how I'd lost my own parents at a young age, and that shared intimacy - plus the fact that campus was dead and we only had one another for company - made something click.
We got drunk together that break. I was surprised by his intelligence, and he realized I was an actual person and not some token gay stereotype. When the spring semester started we continued on our separate hamster wheels, but began dipping our toes into one another's world. He came to a few GSA meetings. I started playing volleyball with his frat and discovered an inner jock I'd never knew existed. I liked the competition, the physicality. The frat boy eye candy didn't detract from the experience, either.
And if I was being honest with myself, Dominic was some primo eye candy himself. He was half-Italian, half-Scandinavian; tall, dark and handsome with a strapping body to match.
We got an apartment together that summer, and that went well, so we wound up finding another place together in the fall. As our friendship deepened I began to sense an attraction from his end, too. It seemed to come from his curious nature - he was always grilling me for my opinion, interviewing me about things. We never did anything explicitly sexual with each other, but a couple moments stand out.
One night, I was in my room studying when Dominic poked his head around my door.
"Can I borrow your protractor?" he said.
"I don't know," I said, being a jag for the fun of it. Dominic opened the door wider, so I could see his whole self framed in the doorway.
"What do you want me to do for it?" he said. I don't know if it was the way he asked it, or if I was just horny, but I got blunt.
"Show me your dick," I said. I'd never seen Dominic naked. Even in the dorm we'd been careful to undress out of each other's line of sight. So I was surprised when he hooked his thumbs in the band of his sweatpants and slid them down his thighs revealing his heavy, hairy, flaccid-yet-succulent-looking cock. I just smiled and handed him the protractor. He pulled his sweatpants back up. "Thanks," he said, and laughed. I laughed too and he left the room and that was that. We never talked about it, but it made me wonder what else he would do if I asked. And I'd had no idea he was so well hung.
I guess it was after that that I'd catch little comments he would make, usually when we were drunk.
"I'd make out with a guy," he said one night. "I mean, what's the big deal?" Another time he told me about jacking off with a friend of his in middle school.
"Did you guys touch each other?" I said.
"No but I might have, if he'd asked. I probably would've done more with him if he'd been into it...I mean, we were just kids, it was all in fun."
By then we'd been living with one another for over two years. My lust for him was at an all-time high, but I was scared. I chalked up his comments to his horny, reckless past - as something he'd never try again.
Plus his bedroom door revolved quite steadily for girls. Most only stuck around for a night, a few for a month or two, but never anything more serious.
The closest Dominic and I ever came to messing around was one night when he came home drunk from a frat party. I was up late working on a huge project that was due the next day. He poked his head in my room to say goodnight, but a few minutes later he came back in my room and flopped onto my bed. He'd changed his clothes and was wearing a sleeveless shirt and athletic shorts that left very little to my imagination.
"Working hard, huh?" he said, stretching out on his back. I turned my chair toward him. He had his arms above his head, making his shirt ride up his flat, hairy stomach. The thin shorts clung to the tube of his cock, hanging like a delicious fruit between his thick thighs. "I'm drunk," he said. "And horny. Remember Lauren?"
"The volleyball chick?"
"Yeah. She was making out with me all night. Then her boyfriend showed up."
"That's unfortunate," I said.
"She had her hands down my shorts," he said, and, as if to illustrate, slowly slipped his hand under his shorts, cupping his dick. "She got me so hard," he said.
I had a sharp feeling of lust and anxiety. This was it. All I had to do was ask - something like "How hard? Show me." Or "Want some help?" But I didn't. I couldn't. I was paralyzed by fear - fear of rejection, fear of fucking up our friendship. So I changed the subject, blabbed about my project. In no time he'd taken his hand out of his shorts and we were back on solid, boring ground. I think we were both relieved - and maybe disappointed, too.
He got his first real college girlfriend shortly after that, and he wound up moving in with her that fall. Our friendship ebbed after that. I'd always assumed it was because of the girlfriend but now; sitting next to him in his car, our easy rapport picking up right where it'd been left off; I wondered if I'd distanced myself from him as much as I assumed he'd distanced himself from me.
We drove out of the city, over the bridge and through the tunnel. Soon we pulled in front of his house - a little two-story on a tree-lined street.
"You can come right up but I'll need you to hang out in the guest room for a minute while I talk to Jamie."
"Uh...can we call her first? I feel weird just barging in like this."
"Nah, it's cool. I just need to talk to her for a minute, it's nothing." I felt clandestine as we entered the back door and he ushered me quietly up the steps to the guest room. The house didn't look like a guy lived there - there were "Friends" DVDs on the shelf, vases filled with potpourri on the table and Anne Geddes posters on the walls.
I lay uneasily on the duvet, listening: a female voice, pitched. I stood up and gathered my stuff, ready to book. But just as I was about to leave they started up the steps.
"Matt?" Dominic said in the doorway. "Meet my girlfriend." She came around - a tall, dark-haired girl with an unattractive, glowering face. She managed half a grin as I shook her hand.
"Nice to meet you," I said. She nodded. "It's kind of you to let me invade your space like this. I hope it's okay, I don't intend to stay long."
"It's fine," Dominic said, looking at Jamie. Jamie took a deep breath.
"Look, I'm sure you're a nice guy..." she said. I braced myself. She spoke in a rush, talking about how it was unexpected, how she wasn't used to having her life disrupted like this but as long as it wasn't for very long, and maybe I could help clean up - like the bathroom, or something. As she spoke her eyes met the floor, the ceiling, the window behind me - seemingly everywhere but my own eyes.
"Really, I'd be fine going back to the motel," I said.
"No," she said, finally glancing in my direction, smiling a big smile like a Venus flytrap ensnaring me with phantom hospitality.
Dominic came to my room later that night. "Dude, I'm sorry if that was awkward," he said.
"What's up with her?" I said.
"Nothing," he said, getting defensive. "What do you mean?"
"I'm sorry. It just seems like she doesn't want me here but doesn't want to admit it."
"No dude, she's totally cool with it. Everything's totally fine."
He made stew that night and invited me downstairs for the most uncomfortable dinner ever, full of forced jokes and protracted silences. Jamie barely looked at him, let alone me. It seemed clear that there were some major things going on underneath the surface. I told myself that my insurance check would come any day - maybe even tomorrow.
It didn't. I took a bus into the city to check and, dejected, took the long bus ride back to the exurbs. Luckily both of them were still at work. I hunkered down in the guest room, hunted for jobs online, took a nap. I woke to the sound of Jamie's car in the driveway.
I avoided dinner that night, sneaking out to the Arby's down the street. When I got back I hightailed it upstairs. I heard them downstairs, arguing. The voices got louder - it was a major argument, and I was sure it was about me. I put on my headphones.
Dominic came upstairs a little later. He sat on the bed next to me and lay back, putting his arm over his eyes.
"Everything alright?" I said.
"Yeah," he said, and took his arm away. He looked at me - a long, real look, devoid of the façade that had been there yesterday.
"Look, dude, I saw a friend of mine today when I was in the city," I lied. "If you ride me back in I think I can -"
"Hey, it's Friday," he said, apropos of nothing. He sat up.
"Huh?" I said. He went to the closet.
"Promise you'll keep this a secret?" He reached inside the closet and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. I smiled. Whiskey had always been Dominic's drink. With one eye on the bedroom door he took a swig, then handed to it to me. I did the same. He put the bottle back in the closet. "Let's wait till Jamie goes to sleep. We'll play some video games, have a few drinks..." I told him that sounded good to me.
He popped in the room a few hours later, just as I was starting to feel like a flower in the attic. He headed straight for the closet and I smiled. With no job or real life to speak of, I had every intention of getting shit faced.
We played Mario Kart, passing the bottle. It only took a few swigs before Dominic's façade eroded.
"She drives me crazy sometimes," he said. "Well, all the time anymore. It used to be okay because the sex was good. But we don't even do that anymore." He passed me the bottle. "So you're not seeing anybody?"
"Nah. I broke up with a guy over a year ago," I said.
"So you haven't gotten much lately either."
"Well I wouldn't say that," I said.
"I've got some fuck buddies," I said.
"As hot as me?" he said. I scoffed.
"Actually, no," I said. Dominic smiled, his eyes on the TV.
"Dude, how come you never made a pass at me?"
"Yeah really. I'm not your type, or what?"
"No, it's not that. It's just...well, we lived together. I didn't want things to get weird. Plus you're straight. Right?"
"Remember that time I showed you my dick?"
"Yeah," I said. "You remember that too?"
"Sure I remember it," Dominic said, his voice lowering. "I think about it sometimes. Did you ever jack off thinking about it?"
"Yeah," I said, my heart rate increasing. "A couple of times."
"I would've experimented with you," he said. "I used to think about it."
"I did too."
"It's weird that it never happened."
"I guess so."
"I'd make out with you right now if you wanted." He looked at me. I said okay. He came to me and I to him and our lips met. Just a peck. He smiled and I smiled back. He rested his hand on my thigh and our faces met again. We kissed. He used his tongue so I used mine, and his hand went further up my leg so I put my hand on the back of his neck. The jaunty electronic pause music from Mario Kart went on as we made out, my hands traveling all over his body and his on mine. He pushed me back, on to the floor, and got on top of me. I could feel his cock pressing against mine. I reached down to feel it.
"God yes," he said, all breathy and deep in my ear. I switched positions, got him on his back. He helped me to undo his pants. Just as I was about to pull his zipper open we heard a creak in the hallway beyond the closed door. Our heads turned toward it and everything stopped. "It's not her," he said.
I took out his cock - eight thick inches in a musky thatch of black pubes. I got into position and sunk my lips over it, taking it past my tongue and into my throat. "Yes, yes," Dominic said, "Fuck it's been too long since I've had head." I kept going, sucking and sucking. I played with his balls. His breath got faster, he started to moan. "I'm gonna cum," he said and moments later jets of hot load were bursting into my mouth. I swallowed all I could.
"Dude," he said. His arm was over his eyes. I helped him get his pants back up. "Dude. That was some of the best head I've ever head."
"I can't believe that just happened," I said.
"It's been long overdue," he said.
"Yeah," I said. "It's cool right? I mean, we don't have to do it again. We can still be friends and everything."
"Yeah, man, definitely." He took a swig from the bottle, passed it to me. "I'm gonna take a shower and hit the sack," he said.
I got in bed after he left the room. I felt confused, unsure of how things would be in the morning.
I jacked off twice before I fell asleep.
I had cereal with them that morning. Dominic seemed a little groggy but otherwise things felt normal. Jamie said "Hello" when I came downstairs and "Bye" when I left the house, which felt like progress.
I took a bus into the city. No check. I printed out some resumes at the library and had lunch with a friend.
They were in the yard when I got back, Dominic cutting the grass and Jamie in the garden. I went upstairs.
A half hour later I heard the mower stop. Then Dominic knocked on my door. "Come in," I said. Dominic had this look on his face. "Hey man," I said, standing from the desk chair. He ambushed me, grabbing my waist and shoving his tongue into my mouth. It was shocking and totally hot. I grabbed his waist and pulled him close; he was sweaty and smelled like cut grass. His cock was hard in his shorts. I dropped to my knees and pulled it out, taking it in my mouth. I sucked it down and pulled back up, dragging my tongue along the base of his salty shaft, fondling his nuts, urging the cum out of them - I wanted it to flood my mouth.
After a few minutes Dominic pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me from behind. He undid my belt and dropped my jeans to the floor. He slipped his prick in between my thighs, nuzzling and kissing the sides of my neck. His hands were all over me as he pumped his dick between my legs.
"I want to fuck you," he said in my ear. "Can I fuck you tonight?" The window was right in front of us. I saw Jamie's determined face as she yanked a weed and threw it to the side. Dominic stuck his tongue in my ear. "I need to fuck so bad. I need someone who wants it."
"I want it," I said.
"Oh fuck yes. Say it again."
"I want you to fuck me. I want your dick inside me." I heard the screen door open downstairs. I looked - Jamie wasn't in the garden anymore.
"Tonight," Dominic said, running his hand up my under my shirt, caressing my chest. "When she falls asleep."
We all went in on a pizza that night and ate it in front of the TV. I kept looking at Jamie, chewing her slice and sipping her soda, eyes on a DVR'd episode of "Gray's Anatomy." *I just had your boyfriend's dick in my mouth,* I thought.
I looked at Dominic. He winked at me. Earlier when we'd been in the kitchen, getting plates for the pizza, he'd put his hands on my hips - a fleeting contact that, quite bluntly, made my hole ache. It had been years since I'd been fucked and I hadn't remembered how much I wanted that feeling of being taken, filled.
While they finished watching the TV show I washed the dishes like a good guest. Dominic came in the kitchen behind me and pressed his hips to my ass. I pushed back. He ran his hands up my chest. I could feel his half-hard dick against me.
"Dominic?" Jamie said from the living room.
"Yeah sweetie," Dominic said next to my ear. He licked my neck, nibbled it.
"Can you bring me another pop?" she said. Dominic stepped to the side of me and slid down his shorts. His cock bounded out, hung there at a ninety-degree angle. I took it in my soapy hand and stroked it. I got on my knees and took it in my mouth.
"What kind do you want?" Dominic said as my lips slid down his cock.
"What kind do you think?" Jamie said. "The diet." I took his dick all the way down my throat. He moaned quietly.
"Comin right up," he said, pulling up his shorts. He pushed me against the sink and roughly grabbed my ass, digging his fingers against my hole. "Soon," he said in my ear. Then he got the soda and went to join his girlfriend.
I took a shower and retired to the guest room. It felt like an eternity before Dominic showed up. He left the door cracked. "She's not asleep yet," he said. He looked hot as fuck, wearing those jock pants that button down the sides of the leg so you can rip them off easily. "I told her we're gonna play video games."
We played Mario Kart for about an hour, occasionally making out and grabbing one another through our clothes. And talking about it.
"I've always wanted to try anal sex," he said.
"I don't know. Seems like it would be tighter. Kinkier, too - like, more forbidden. I've never gotten to do it with a girl."
"Did you think about fucking me when we lived together?"
"Sometimes," he said. "Once I was really horny and I saw you in your underwear."
"What did you think?"
"I thought you had a nice butt. Like, objectively speaking. It was firm and round, like you did a lot of squats but I know you didn't even work out back then. I wondered what it would look like bent over and spread wide for me. I imagined what my cock would look like splitting into it."
"You fantasized all that?"
"Not fantasized...just thought. I remember it got me hard and I remember feeling weird about that." The game blooped and bleeped as we clicked our controllers. We heard Jamie turn off her TV. "Any minute now," Dominic said. "I used to think about how if I fucked you, I wouldn't have to use a condom."
"You don't have condoms?"
"No, I do. Do you want me to use one tonight?" I thought for a second.
"No," I said.
"Good. I want to feel my cock sliding into you. I want to cum inside you, too."
He checked on Jamie and when he came back he quietly shut the door. I stood and we came together, kissing tenderly at first then getting more forceful. I ripped those pants right off of him. He pushed me to my knees and I sucked him. His nuts slapped against my chin as he fucked my face. I struggled to keep quiet which was difficult, even with Dom's fat dick plugging my throat.
He tossed me on the bed and undressed me, licking my body. He flipped me over onto my stomach and I was surprised when he spread my legs and began licking around my ass. Soon his tongue was sliding down my crack and slipping into my hole. I backed into his face and he dug his tongue deeper.
From the closet he procured a tub of Vaseline and greased up his cock, then my hole. I got on all fours on the bed - ass spread for him just like he'd imagined. He got on his knees behind me. I felt his cockhead touch my hole and I clenched down, kissing it. Slowly, inch by inch, he slid it inside. It hurt but I'd anticipated that. I breathed, relaxed. When his pubes were finally pressed against my ass I only wanted more.
We fucked slowly and steadily. We communicated non-verbally, making little adjustments to our positions, accommodating one another. He picked up speed and in the quiet of the room I could hear his nuts slapping against my ass with each thrust. I imagined Jamie in the cotton t-shirt and boy's boxer shorts she'd worn to bed. I imagined her sleeping silently in the dark while one room away the lights were on and her boyfriend had bent over his friend and was fucking him in the ass.
"I'm gonna do it," he whispered. He was slapping away with long strokes, panting.
"Me too," I said, matching him stroke for stroke with my hand on my cock.
"Ah!" he cried quietly, and the hot warmth of him shot inside me as I lost all control. Jets of jizz went streaming over Jamie's lavender coverlet.
When I woke on Sunday I realized that I'd never made it to the bathroom and Dominic's cum was still inside me.
I felt fine; great even. It was an interesting feeling, giving the state of my life, but I decided to go with it.
I took a shower and came downstairs, greeting Jamie with a cheery "Good morning" and helping myself to her coffee.
"Good morning," she said, and left the kitchen. Dominic ambled downstairs a few minutes later, looking as relaxed as I felt. We smiled at one another. I heard Jamie flip on the TV in the living room. Dominic came up to me and wrapped his arm around my waist, giving me a tender kiss.
I walked to McDonald's that afternoon, got some coffee and internet. There was an email from the insurance company, a response to an inquiry I'd sent earlier that week, and learned my check had been mailed on Friday.
When I got back to the house they were holding one another on the couch. I went upstairs. Dominic came up moments later.
"I need it again, man," he said, shutting the door. He grabbed my hand and brought it to his cock, which was hard.
"Dude," I said, taking my hand away. He lay on top of me; slipped his hand behind my back and down my shorts, pressed a finger against my hole. "She's right down there, we can't."
"She won't come up," he said. He pressed his finger deeper and it slipped in - I was loosened up; turned out. I wanted him again too. We kissed, rough and sloppy. He pulled my shorts down around my thighs and ate my ass, getting it wet and ready for his dick.
He reared forward and pushed himself inside me, and god did it feel good. In no time he was pounding me again. He was stroking my dick and I was thinking any minute now he'll cum and I'll cum and that'll be that, this is crazy. But then, all of the sudden, he stopped.
In dead silence he pulled out of me. I looked up and saw her. Honestly, she looked like a different person, her face a mask of shock and horror.
"Jamie..." Dominic said. She looked at me.
"Get out," she said.
Orders obtained. I popped up and scooped my clothes into my bag. She watched me the entire time. Dominic slunk into himself against the wall.
I was out the door before I even tied my shoes. I walked to the bus stop. Did it even run on Sunday? I had no idea. I figured I'd wait a while, call a cab if need be. Surely I had enough on my credit card for cab fare, and one more night in the motel. Surely.