Elf Master

Concordium Chapter 45

Elf Master Chapter 9

Second Week of School

Kyle

I was dreaming, although I didn't know it at the time, and in the dream I was lying across Eddie's legs. I was an adult, but he had somehow grown to twice his normal size and I was like a child lying helplessly across his lap. He beat my ass until I started sobbing, then he started yelling. "You're a faggot, boy, and I'm going to show you what we do to faggots around here!"

I could see my brothers and sisters standing around in a circle, laughing, while Eddie slapped my butt with a giant dildo more than a foot in length. Each blow felt like the blows I remembered from his thick leather belt. Sharp pain shot through me with each stroke. I tried to get up, but he held me down with one massive hand on the small of my back.

Eddie pushed the head of the giant cock against my ass. I started kicking my legs like a child trying to avoid further punishment. He hadn’t used any lube and the blunt head of that cock was sending waves of pain through my whole body. I was trying to resist the assault, but Eddie used a slow, irresistible force to push the massive sex toy inside me. I screamed when it popped past my anal ring. "No! Get that thing away from me!”

My dad walked out of the shadows and grabbed me by the hair, pulling my head back at a painful angle. He punched me in the face with his fist and snarled, "Faggots get fucked boy; it's what you've always wanted. Goddamned degenerate, killed your own mother when you were born and then you turned out to be nothing more than a faggot."

Eddie ground the head of that dildo into my ass until it slid several more inches inside. I let out a howl of pain as that massive silicone dick punched through my hole repeatedly. It hurt worse than Gideon's fist. My entire football team from school was in the room. They were watching the game on the television. I tried to stay quiet so they wouldn’t know what was happening to me, what I really was. I couldn’t hold it in. I screamed with each powerful thrust, but my fellow players remained oblivious, like somehow I was beneath their notice.

I saw Jane in the shadows. She and I had dated for a couple of months, until she’d teased me about that boy at the pretzel stand, saying that he liked me, that he wanted me. But this time her words were different. “You want him, Kyle, and you should just go over there and offer to suck his dick. He’d probably let you, if you begged him enough. I knew you were a faggot when your little dick wouldn’t get hard no matter how much I sucked it.”

Andy shook his head and sneered. “What kind of guy can’t get a hardon when a pretty girl with big tits is sucking his dick? A pathetic faggot like you, that’s who. We all knew Kyle. We all knew when you were a kid. Everyone knew.”

Andy was only a few years older, and he was so much smaller than me, six inches shorter and not a whole lot more than half my weight. But I was terrified of him. He was the one who always seemed to know my secret. Whenever I had a close friend, he would get between us and slyly whisper, “You want to suck his dick, faggot? He’d probably take pity on you and let you do it.”

Eddie’s voice boomed out, “We all know he’s a faggot, Andy. That’s why I’m fucking it out of him!”

Suddenly I was a child and Eddie towered over me, thrusting something inside me. It was vibrating. I was crying and begging him to stop, steady streams of tears flowing down my cheeks, but he just leered at me like he was enjoying what he was doing, and like he was enjoying my pain and suffering. I could see that his dick was hard and pushing against the front of his pants.

“Cry for me faggot! Cry for all of us. Cry so loud that everyone in the whole school knows what you are!” Eddie screamed.

We were in the gymnasium and there was a pep rally going on. The whole school was watching, but they weren’t seeing me. They were looking at the cheerleaders doing a routine. My dad was sitting in his recliner, reading the newspaper. I called out, “Please, Daddy, make him stop. I’m not a faggot. I promise!”

He didn’t bother to look at me. “Stop lying boy! I don’t have time for your nonsense. Eddie had my permission to make sure you grow up right. He’s taking care of you, just like he did with Andy, just like I did with him.”

Then Eddie was normal size again. I was lying on a bed with a belt wrapped around my neck. It was choking me so that I couldn't breathe while Eddie was beating me with his fists. I wanted to fight back, but Nico was standing in the corner. He shook his head at me and said, "Do whatever your brother asks of you."

Eddie continued to beat my face. I could feel my lip split and my nose break. Eddie smiled, then his face changed, and I could tell that he was cumming in his pants from the excitement of beating me.

At some point the dream changed and I was the aggressor. I was back in that bathroom the Sunday before and Kieran was there. I tried to stop the dream, but I couldn't. I grabbed the boy's small body and threw him to the ground. He was dressed like his roommate in one of those Chinese jackets with the high collar, and the contours of his little round butt were visible through the thin trousers he wore.

I ripped the shirt open and exposed his hairless chest. He was crying and begging me to stop, but I overpowered him and ripped his pants open. I was overcome with lust, and I wanted to get inside his fine little ass. I yanked his pants down and thrust my fingers against his hole only to discover that it was filled by a butt plug. I pulled on it and tried to yank it out by force. He screamed as I gave it an even harder pull, but it wouldn't budge.

Kieran kept begging me to stop, but I didn't listen. He was crying, but his tears turned me on. My cock felt like it was swollen almost to bursting. Since I couldn't have his ass, I thrust my cock into his mouth and started fucking his face like a barbarian. I crushed his nuts in my hand to keep him from biting my dick. In my dream, I was even more brutal than I had been that night. I slapped his face and twisted his balls. I bit him hard on the shoulder and on the nipple. When I came, I came hard. He was choking and bawling his eyes out.

Darren grabbed me from behind and threw me off the boy. He wasn't in his wolfman form; he looked like he did that night he'd beaten the crap out of me in the forest. I thought he was going to kill me, but then he turned to comfort Kieran's cries. I scrambled back and fled the room.

**********

And that's when I woke up. I was shaking and I felt cold despite the warmth in the room. Philip was sleeping soundly beside me, snoring contentedly. I dragged myself out of bed. Horror and shame ran down my spine when I noticed that I had cum sometime during my dream. I wiped it up as best as I could with my hand and then… I don’t know why I did it, but I held my hand to my face and licked the cum from my palm and my finger.

I went into the shower. I sat down in the stall and let the warm water pour down over my body. Had I cum because of my humiliation in the dream? Or had I cum from the memory of raping Kieran? I wasn’t sure which would be worse. I started crying, letting my tears stream forth and mingle with the water from the shower. How could I ever make up for what I’d done? Simon had forgiven me, or at least I thought he had. Maybe that’s why I no longer dreamed of shooting my load in my pants while I beat on him. But Kieran could never forgive me. I saw it in the way he flinched every time he saw me.

I wished that I had a knife. I would end it all, or at least I would if I were able. I didn’t think the enchanted necklace would let me actually harm myself. It would be like destroying my master’s property. I don't know how long I sat there before Philip came into the room, but the water had long gone cold.

"Are you okay in there," he asked, shaking the shower curtain.

I was shivering from sitting under the cold water, so I turned it off and stood up. When I opened the shower curtain, Philip was standing there holding a fresh towel. He handed it to me, and I started drying myself off.

"Sorry, I used all your hot water," I said.

He put a hand on my shoulder and repeated in a soothing voice, "Are you okay?"

I thought about that for a moment. I wasn't sure whether I was alright. I'd been numb when I woke up. I had some feeling back now, but I still felt a little dazed. I'd known it was going to be bad when my family found out, but I had no idea that it would be that bad. I didn't know if Eddie had tried to kill me, or if he'd just been playing some sadomasochistic game that I didn't know about.

"I asked if you were okay this morning," Philip said. He sounded concerned.

"I think so, Sir," I said.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head and finished drying my hair. "I can't, Sir.”

Philip had a worried look on his face. "Did I do anything wrong? Last night, I mean."

"No!" I replied with false enthusiasm. "You were great, Sir. What you did for me was amazing."

I saw that he wasn't satisfied with my answer and that he was about to ask something else, but I interrupted him. "It wasn't you, Sir. Something happened to me yesterday, something I can't talk about. I had a bad dream and… "

Philip smiled and wrapped his arms around me. "I won't push, but if you want to talk to me, I'll be available."

"Thank you, Sir," I replied. "If I feel like talking, I'll call you."

I knew that I wouldn't call him to talk about this issue. I didn't really know him that well. The only ones that knew me this well were Nico, Simon and – strangely enough ­– Oliver. Nico couldn't possibly understand what I was feeling. I wasn't entirely sure that he had normal human feelings. And I didn't know if I could talk to either of the other two about this. They'd forgiven me, but I doubted that they respected me; how could they after all the things I'd done. I didn't even respect myself. And if they knew about Eddie and what he did, what he’d done now and when I was a child, they'd respect me even less.

I made my excuses and drove back to campus. It was Labor Day and there were no classes, but Master was expecting me back. And I needed to get back to my routine. Maybe it would make me forget for a while.

Master was waiting for me when I got into the room. I stripped off my clothes and knelt on the floor in front of him. Being back in my slave routine was comforting in a way. It kept my mind from wandering. I didn’t know if I could live my entire life with no hope of escape from eternal slavery, not that I had a choice. But right then I belonged on the floor at his feet. I hadn’t been punished enough yet. It was amazing to me that I’d spent my time complaining about the injustice of it all, trying to pretend that it wasn’t fair, that I didn’t do anything to deserve it. After my encounter with Eddie, I understood that I did deserve it.

Master surprised me when he placed a kind hand on my head and said, "I've taken care of the thing with your brother. He will never hurt you again. And I didn't even have to kill him. He's also going to support you when the rest of your family finds out."

"How did you manage that, Sir?" I asked. I was honestly impressed, and more than a little bit curious.

"When he attacked you, he became my legitimate target, just like you did when you attacked Kieran. I cursed him, and then I put a trigger on the curse. So long as he works to support you, the curse won't take effect. You're my property and I take care of my property," he said.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I was relieved that Eddie was finally looking out for me, but it made me sad to think that it took threats from my master to get even this concession from him. Was my relationship with my family ruined? And did it matter if it was? Was it worthwhile to try and save a relationship that was toxic on so many levels? Eddie had acted more like a father than an older brother, which wasn’t surprising to me since Dad had essentially delegated all responsibility for Andy and me to him after mom had died. Andy had always bullied me. Despite being smaller, he was meaner. Kayla was a total bitch to everyone. And Nancy got out of the house as soon as possible and had hardly ever come around.

“Suck my cock, slave,” Master demanded.

I needed the distraction, so I was happy to open his pants and pull his cock out. I put it in my mouth and started sucking him and chewing a little, as he liked. I was disturbed by all the thoughts floating around my head, but the act of pleasuring him focused my mind and those worries began to fade. When Master came, his cock slithered halfway down the back of my throat, choking me a little. All the while he was spraying my gullet with his seed, Master held onto my head and smirked at me. Then he placed an uncharacteristically friendly hand on my jaw before putting his cock away and buttoning his jeans.

Once I was done, I made my breakfast smoothie. I felt relief when I added water to the powder instead of urine. Then I hurried to get ready for my morning workout on the health trail. I'd promised Simon that I would meet him at the exercise point closest to our dorm. He wanted to put together a health program and I'd promised to exercise with him.

Buckwalder had laid out a black jock, thin white knit shorts that barely covered my butt and a pale pink muscle shirt that was cut low in the front and left an inch of my belly showing. Simon was dressed in gray knit shorts and a tee shirt. He'd been out for years, but he looked less gay than I did. We wasted no time getting started. He was fit enough for a slender guy, and he was never going to bulk up, no matter what exercises he did. What he really needed was an exercise buddy who could help keep him on track. And it was the least I could do for Simon given everything he had done for me, and everything I had done to him.

But I was also feeling guilty because I had an ulterior motive. I’d beaten the crap out of Simon because he’d been looking at me, but Simon had pointed out to me that I had done my own fair share of looking at him. And he wasn’t wrong. Simon was… to me he was perfect. He was six inches shorter than me, and thin, but naturally fit. His skin was brown, the color of chocolate milk. His hair hung in soft curls on top of his head, but was cut very short on the sides, almost shaved near his cute, well-formed ears. His eyes were large and a dark brown that you could just fall into and drown. And his mouth was… amazing. His lips were full and he had that wide M shape to his upper lips. Every time I saw him, I wanted to drop to my knees and beg him to kiss me. But I knew that I never could. I’d had a chance and I’d ruined it. Besides, I didn’t deserve a guy like Simon.

I encouraged him through his exercises before doing my own. I was doing incline sit-ups (I'd adjusted the board to a greater angle than Simon had used) and Simon was sitting on the bench, near my feet, his hands on my ankles. It wasn't necessary despite the angle because I could hold on by hooking my feet under the bar. It felt good though. His hands were strong and warm. And then he scooted forward and moved his hands to my calves, and that felt even better. I couldn't stop myself from getting a little hard. I'd been attracted to him from the moment I'd seen him, with his brown skin, black hair that hung in loose ringlets and his clear eyes that seemed to shine with intelligence. His lips were full and well-shaped.

Simon was my friend now, and that's all we were ever going to be. It was far more than I deserved. He was giving me a strange look. I swallowed hard and tried to make my erection go down, but, unsurprisingly, that wasn't working.

I overdid it a bit with the sit ups. I was trying to tighten my abs because I was losing weight and the skin was getting a little loose. I'd been carrying an extra 20-30 pounds of fat on my gut, but I'd lost a little more than ten pounds already. It felt great. I’d always been strong, and when I was on the football team I’d been a little thinner around the middle than I was now, but I had let myself go since last February. Nico had made me take pride in my body, and it was looking better every day. I liked it when people looked at me with appreciation in their eyes. I liked it when Simon looked at me.

"Is everything alright, Kyle?" Simon asked, putting a hand on my arm.

"I'm fine, Sir," I replied. "I'm just having some problems with my family."

I couldn't tell what he was referring to. Was he talking about me getting hard looking at him again, or was it something else? He'd seemed distracted all morning himself. I hadn't wanted to tell him about that, but it just came out. He hadn't even ordered me to tell him. He'd just asked.

"Come, sit down," Simon said, moving to the bench nearby.

He couldn't have chosen a better place if he wanted to make me open up to him. This was the same bench where I’d told him about my history of abusing gay boys. It was the same bench where we'd become friends. I sat down next to him.

Simon put his hand on my shoulder and asked, "Did they find out that you're gay?"

I nodded and whispered, "Yeah, my brother Eddie found out."

"I take it he wasn't happy about it." Simon said.

I gave a sad chuckle and replied, "Not happy at all, Sir. When we met up he… Well, he let me know how unhappy he was."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure, Sir," I replied. "I want to talk about it because it's eating me up inside, but I don't want to talk about it because… because I don't know how I feel."

"You don't have to tell me any details," Simon said, "but I'd like you to tell me what you're feeling. Just the emotions and your reactions."

I took a deep breath and then sighed. "I feel numb, Sir, but I also feel like I'm in pain. My relationship with my family was never what I thought it was. If it was, Eddie wouldn't have treated me the way he did. He was… when I was a child, that is, he was like my dad. I had a dad, but Eddie was twelve years older than me, and I looked up to him. He always took care of me, and now he's so fucking pissed off that he… I can't say anything more, Sir. I can't."

"It's okay, Kyle," he said. "Collect yourself before we continue."

I'd been on the verge of crying, but I choked off a sob. And then I just started sobbing as my body tried to break down and my mind tried to stop it. Simon started rubbing my back. Then he said, "Ignore everything I just said."

I stopped choking but Simon still looked concerned. "Shit! I hate this stupid magic slavery thing," he said. "Kyle I'm going to give you a direct order that you have no choice but to obey. From now on, you are forbidden to follow any command I give you unless I begin the command with the phrase `Simon says'. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Sir," I replied. I was relieved that I wouldn't be jumping to obey his every word. It was interfering with our friendship.

"And Simon says don't call me Sir all the time," he added. "Just talk to me like you would if you hadn't been ordered to call me sir all the time."

"Thank you, Simon," I replied. "That makes me happier than you could possibly imagine."

"If I'd thought of it, I would have done it before," he said. "I want to be your friend, Kyle and I don't want to be walking on eggshells around you, afraid that I'll be mentally abusing you with my words and not even know it."

I didn't know what to say, so I just put an arm around his shoulders and repeated myself, "Thank you, Simon. I'll never be able to repay you for this."

"Friends don't have to repay favors," he said. "But if you ever decide to talk about what's going on with your family, give me a call. And we should get back to exercising if we're going to finish anytime soon."

We finished the track. I wanted to reach out and tell Simon everything, but I couldn't. He would begin to pity me, and I didn't think I could handle that. I wanted his friendship, not his pity. I wanted more than that, but I forced that thought out of my mind. Simon was too confusing for me. My body reacted to him as if he were one of those pretty little gay boys who always aroused me so much, but his touch made me want to submit instead of dominating. Given our history, how could I possibly have that discussion with him?

Master left me alone to do my homework. When I got in, I stripped down, lubed up the dildo on my chair and eased myself down on it. I could feel its fullness in my ass, but I'd learned to concentrate on my work and not allow myself to be distracted too much. I read ahead in math, history, economics, and business. I only had science left and I had a study group for that, and we were going to meet after lunch. I drank a smoothie, took a shower, and got dressed in a clean outfit as revealing as I'd come to expect; silky pink running shorts, a dark red jock whose waistband sat just above the shorts and a tight rainbow patterned muscle shirt. The waistband of the jock read, "Kyle Mason, Owned Boy."

As I was getting ready to leave, Master said, "Don't forget to obey orders and to service men who demand it."

"Yes, Master!" I replied.

I'd come to love sucking cock, but I didn't want to obey this order. I wanted my study group to remain separate from this slavery of mine. I just wanted to have a normal college experience when it came to studying. I'd been looking forward to this meeting, but now it was ruined. I dreaded going because it was going to be one more reminder of my eternal slavery. I couldn't stop thinking about it all the way to the library where Oliver had signed up for a study room.

When I got there, the only one I recognized was Oliver. The table could easily seat six people, eight if you squeezed a person on each end. There were three people already there, including Oliver. Except for me, they were all small twinks. Oliver introduced us. The boy with the freckles and the red hair was named Cameron, and the other boy had light olive skin tone, jade green eyes, and brown hair. His name was Lalo, which struck me as particularly strange.

"Ethan and Micah can't make it today, despite agreeing to do so last Friday, so we're still waiting for one more," Oliver said, giving a stern look at Lalo when he said it. Lalo shrugged and gave a weak little grin.

"Take a seat, Kyle," Oliver directed, pointing at the seat right next to Lalo.

Lalo was sitting on one of the long sides of the table by himself. Oliver and Cameron sat on the other end. I just sat where I was directed. This was Oliver's show, and I was doing as I was told. Lalo gave me an appreciative look as I took the seat next to him, but he kept glancing at Oliver out of the corner of his eye. I wondered if the somewhat clueless Oliver was picking up on the fact that Lalo really liked him.

It didn't take long for our last member to join us. His name was Tristan. He stood only five and half feet tall and he had sandy hair, fair skin, and hazel eyes. He took the seat next to me and I couldn't help but notice the wary look he and Lalo exchanged. They were both wary of each other.

"Good. We're all here now," Oliver said.

He waved his wand and the door shut and locked itself. Then he looked around the room and gave us all a smile. I recognized all the faces in the room. We were in the same lecture section of our science class, but not all in the same lab. As far as I could tell, Oliver, Lalo, Tristan, and I were in one section, while Cameron and the two missing members of our group were in another.

Oliver tapped his wand on the table and said, "Everyone here is aware, so we don't need to talk around the magic world while we study. Furthermore, we represent the major groups on campus. Cameron and I are mages. So are Ethan and Micah. Kyle is mundane and Lalo and Tristan are both versipelles. Lalo is a werewolf and Tristan is a wererat.

"My mother says that all the infighting between our groups is inane, and there's no reason we can't just live and let live. So, we're going to prove her point by working together and getting the best grades in the class."

After a brief affirmation we went to work. When I pulled out my notes, Oliver made me show them on the white board using the projector on the ceiling. There was a cable outlet on the wall, so it was easy enough. The guys were praising my organization, but I told them that it was really Simon's system. That got a look from Lalo. I guessed it made sense that they knew each other since they were both werewolves.

We went over all the material for the last week and then made plans for regular meetings on Fridays going forward (Apparently both Ethan and Micah had texted that they could make it that day). The meeting had gone well. No one made any comments about my clothes or made me feel different in any way. We focused solely on the class material. It was one of the most normal college experiences I'd had since coming here.

As we were breaking up, Lalo called me outside and said, "I was there and I saw what happened in the woods, but I didn't participate. I thought it was terrible, especially after Simon told me about… well, everything. And Daddy Werewolf – he still hates you; just so you know – even he said that there was something in the air the night of the New Student Mixer that was affecting everyone. I just wanted you to know that I think you're getting a raw deal. I didn't know how bad until Oliver told me who your master was. I have no power and no influence, but I just wanted you to know that I understand and I'm on your side."

Oliver came out and put his hand on Lalo's shoulder and the Latino boy shivered a little. "Wait for me Eddy," he said. "I need to talk to Kyle for a few minutes. I'll join you downstairs in the lobby."

"Sure, thing Oli," he said, then he walked away. "Don't be too long."

At the name Eddy I shivered a little myself. I had a sudden flashback to my brother beating my nine-year-old ass and raping me with a vibrator. My chest got tight, and I swallowed hard. Then I asked, "Why'd you call him Eddy if his name is Lalo?"

Oliver laughed and said, "His name is Eduardo, and I have no idea why his nickname is Lalo. It must be like Peggy being short for Margaret."

He led me back into the room. Cameron was getting ready to leave. "Are you coming, Oliver?" he asked.

"I'll meet you for dinner later, Cam," he said. "I need to talk to Kyle for a moment. Why don't you wait with Lalo downstairs?"

Cameron nodded and left, but he shook my hand first, saying, "I was there that night, Kyle. I felt the magical pheromones and they pushed me to do things I wouldn't have, and I understand it was worse for guys like you. That's all I'm saying."

Tristan came up and said with a smile, "I'm fucking clueless man, but that's okay. But coming up and talking to you seems to be the thing to do today, and I didn't want to be left out. It was good meeting you."

Then he turned to Oliver and said, "That worked out well, Oli. Thank you. I don't think it will work, but it's worth a try."

When he'd left, Oliver said, "Sit down, Kyle, so we can talk."

I sat down immediately, and he sighed. "I'm sorry, Kyle. I didn't mean to do that. From now on, unless your master is with you, you won't have to call anyone sir when I'm around. I've already told you not to follow anyone's orders if I'm here, so I'm going to add this proviso. You don't have to obey my orders either unless I use the phrase `hearken to my words'."

I laughed and said, "Good luck working that into a sentence without raising some eyebrows."

Oliver had a serious expression on his face. "I know that Kyle. It's why I chose it. I won't accidentally give you an order."

"Why are you doing all this for me, Oliver?" I asked. "I appreciate it more than you can know, but why?"

Oliver shrugged and replied, "I like you, and it's the right thing to do. My mother is a leader in the Conclave’s Liberal Party. She taught me that mages shouldn't abuse mundanes, no matter what the law says."

I put my hand on his shoulder and said, "You are one of the good guys, Oliver."

"Thank you," he said. "But I would like it very much if you told me what was wrong with you today. Tristan told me that you were upset. He could smell it on you. Sorry I didn't notice it myself."

It wasn't a command. He'd made sure that he couldn't accidentally give me an order. In that moment I was so grateful to him that I couldn't express it. Other than a single kiss, he didn't seem to be interested in me sexually. It was kind of insulting, but it also made me feel good. He and Simon were the only friends I had who'd made no demands of any kind on me. He didn't seem to judge me, either. I felt emotionally safe with him.

"It's an ugly story," I said. "Are you sure you're ready to hear it?"

He replied, "Go ahead and tell me… if you want to, that is."

I thought about it for a minute, then I told him the whole story about my brother Eddie and the way he'd treated me, how he'd choked me and abused me. I told him that I'd thought I was going to die. I hadn't planned to do it, but then I told him all about my childhood and how Eddy had assaulted me when I was nine. Then I told him about all the racist things I'd said and done. By the time I'd moved on to my internalized homophobia and self-hatred, I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't stop myself from admitting my history of violence, how I'd beaten on gay boys who excited me.

Oliver sat there and watched me cry. He had overly large eyes and a sharp nose that made him look like an owl. I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. On the one hand, owls have a reputation for wisdom and patience. On the other hand, they were fierce predators. God! How fucked up was I that I was concentrating on meaningless details when I felt like I was about to fall apart inside.

I was sure that I was burning all my bridges with him, destroying my friendship with one of only two friends I had. The two who just seemed to like me for who I was instead of what I could do for him. I had never had any real friends. I’d been afraid to show people my true face back in high school, afraid that they’d discover the secret that I was hiding even from myself.

"It must have been terrible," he said when I'd finally stopped crying.

"What must have been terrible?" I asked.

He put a hand on mine and said, "It must have been terrible to hate yourself so badly that you did stuff like that. And it must be terrible to feel like there's no way you can ever make up for what you did."

I looked up at Oliver. "You said that you didn't understand human feelings very well," I said. "You were wrong."

He shook his head and replied, "I said that I'm not observant. Once Tristan told me that you were upset, I was able to see it. And I understand a little psychology. I've read about childhood trauma. If you've changed, then I can't hold you responsible for things you did in the past. It wouldn't be proper at all."

"Do you believe that I've changed?" I asked.

"According to Lalo, Simon does. The question is, do you believe you've changed?" he replied.

"I hope so, Oliver," I said. "I really hope so."

"Then we'll find a way to help you forgive yourself," he said.

Talking to Oliver helped. Maybe it was because he was kind of cold and intellectual that I felt I could talk to him. It was strangely comforting knowing that he wouldn’t jump to conclusions based on a sense of revulsion in his gut, but that he would carefully consider what he was feeling. Somehow his reasoned approach to life made me accept him as a more objective judge. Or, maybe it was because there wasn't and never had been anything sexual between us, but I felt strangely comfortable telling him things. I'd admitted what I'd done to Simon, but I hadn't acknowledged what had been done to me. Oliver didn't pity me. He felt sorry that I'd gone through those experiences, but I didn't see a shred of pity in his eyes. And that was the most comforting thing of all.

We walked down to the lobby of the library and parted ways. Oliver walked off with Cameron and Lalo and I went to the gym to meet up with Philip. We'd finalized our exercise schedule and it was going to be Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, with me going to his house on Saturdays to stay until Sunday morning. We'd originally said Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, but this worked out better for both our schedules. It gave me time to study with Simon on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when he had a longer break, and it meant that Philip didn’t have to cut the routine short on Wednesdays to get to his chemistry lab.

The gym wasn't too crowded, and I found Philip easily. He was waiting in the lobby. He surprised me by walking up and kissing me right there in front of everyone. It felt good. People were looking at us. They knew that I was gay, but it looked like Philip and I were boyfriends, not a slave and a freeman. Today had started terribly, but it had gotten so much better. I was finally beginning to feel good about myself again.

Philip and I worked out according to the schedule he'd given me. I was working out twice a day and loving it. It made me feel powerful, like I had some control over my life. My exercise plan included a lot of work on my legs and glutes. I'd always been bigger in the chest and arms, so I needed the work to even out my frame. I also liked the idea that my butt might be getting firmer and sexier. I was tired but feeling good.

There were a couple of guys working out who kept looking at me. With this much skin on display, I was getting used to it. In fact, I kind of liked it. Now that I'd accepted myself as gay, I was loving the attention. I liked feeling sexy.

I wanted to make out in the shower, but those two guys had come in with us. Luckily, they finished quickly and went out into the locker room. As soon as they were gone, I fell to my knees and took Philip's cock in my hands. It didn't take long before he was proudly erect. Then I swallowed him all the way to the root and began to suck for all it was worth. Not only did I like him and like sucking his cock, but I also wanted to make sure that everything was still good between us.

He didn’t like it when other guys paid too much attention to me when he was around. I knew from last night that he had feelings for me, feelings that I couldn’t reciprocate. I liked him. He was something I’d never had, a friend with benefits. I liked him a lot, but I didn’t love him. I loved… it didn’t matter. It wasn’t Philip who made my heart flutter, it was someone I could never have.

I had a flashback to Simon in his very stylish clothes yelling at me. You had your chance, Kyle, but you blew it. Now I’m never going to fuck you, and it would have been good. I’d been over his words so many times, from so many angles that I wasn’t sure exactly what order they’d been in, but the scene was like a hot knife plunging into my gut. That was the moment that I knew. I had wanted Simon more than I had ever wanted anyone else. And it wasn’t because he’d been giving me a look that said that he wanted me to fuck him. That’s how I’d interpreted it at the time, but my subconscious had seen the truth. The look he’d been giving me said that he had wanted to fuck me. And that had scared me worse than the erections Kieran or any of the other pretty twinks had given me over the years because that was exactly what I’d been wanting.

He grabbed my head and groaned, "God damn that's good, Kyle. You're so sexy, like a damned sex god. I'm going to shoot a big fucking load right down your throat."

Then he did. I swallowed his juice until he stopped pumping, and then I licked him clean. He grabbed me and pulled me to my feet and kissed me again under the warm water. He was good to me and kind, and I appreciated it a lot. I was grateful to him. And I wished that… I wished that I loved him. I liked him, and I liked having sex with him, but I didn't love him. I wasn't sure what love looked like, but I came closest to a feeling I thought might be it with Terrance, or with… No! I wasn't even going to say it.

We walked back into the locker room to get dressed, but those two guys I'd seen earlier came walking up while I still had a towel wrapped around my waist. I was still carrying between twenty and thirty pounds of excess weight, probably half of it in my gut, but other than that I was looking fine, so I wasn't embarrassed until one of them held up his phone and showed me the picture from my Grindr profile.

"Are you Jock Bitch Boy?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes, Sir," I whispered.

"Then get on your fucking knees so you can suck my dick," he commanded.

The other guy looked at Philip and said, "Are you a fucking slave cunt like your friend?"

Philip looked ready to start a fight, but I said, "No, Sir, he's not. And he's leaving.”

I looked Philip dead in the eyes and told him, "Go now, Philip. This is who I am, Sir, and you know it. Just go."

Philip looked pained. I knew that he wanted to fight these guys, but he knew that I had to do what they ordered me to do. He wasn't my master, and he couldn't interfere. I could see it in his eyes. He'd been thinking about me as his boyfriend. It was a delusion that had been building in his eyes. Now he saw me for what I was, and I was sure that he would want nothing else to do with me. I was a dirty whore. Being a whore made me unclean, unworthy of anything resembling love, but it also made me feel good in a way. I needed to be treated like the trash I was. It was the only way I could be punished for the horrible things I’d done.

Philip squeezed his eyes closed, grabbed his bag, and stormed out of the locker room. I’d hurt him, but in a way I was saving him. He was a good guy. He shouldn’t fall in love with a low-down piece of shit like me. This thing that was about to happen, me servicing men I didn’t even know in the locker room of the gym where anyone could walk in and see what a worthless whore I was, this thing was what I deserved. It was the only thing I deserved.

I knelt and took the first guy's cock in my mouth and started sucking. I was getting good at this. He started moaning right away. The other guy was filming it on his phone, then he sent a text with the video attached.

"We haven't been free any other time you were giving it away to whoever showed up, so my friends and I have been waiting to find you available," he said. "I don't know why you've decided to be such a nasty slut, but we're going to give you what you're asking for. The others will be here as soon as they can."

I heard the notifications start going off on his phone while he resumed filming. If those were his friends, it sounded like a half dozen, maybe more were on their way. I smiled at him and then I dropped to my knees. I later found out that it was just two guys, sending a lot of comments about the video.

My cock had grown painfully erect at the words “nasty slut”. This man saw me for exactly what I was. I wanted to debase myself before him. I wanted him to record it, and I wanted him to post it all over the internet. I wanted everyone to see it so that they too would know what I was. It was what I’d needed. That first time, Philip had fingered my ass during a lecture, he should have left me naked, my legs splayed out and my asshole exposed so that all the students could have seen what I was.

I brought my attention back to the man in front of me. Enthusiastically, I begged, "Can I suck your cock, Sir?"

"Beg me, cunt," the guy demanded with a smirk as he pointed his camera directly at my face.

I begged, more than willing to abase myself before this man, and to have it recorded for everyone to see. "Please, Sir, I need to taste your cock. I need to feel your manly dick in my throat and taste your cum."

He didn't stop looking at me like he was waiting for something more. He didn't just want a blowjob, and begging for his cock didn't seem to be enough, so I decided to lower myself further and see if that worked. I reached a hand up and touched his hard dick through his shorts. "I'm just a bitch, Sir, and I need to feel a real man's cock in my mouth. Please let me suck your dick. If I can't be a real man, I need to taste a real man. It's all I need to fulfill my purpose in life."

"Since you're begging so nicely, you can suck it, but only if you really want to," he said.

"I do, Sir, I want to suck your cock more than anything. Feeling you thrust inside my mouth will let me pretend that I'm a real man for a while, at least for as long as your manly cum is inside me." I was really pouring it on thick, but that seemed to be what he wanted.

And what did I really want? I’d like it if there were more men watching my public penance. I’d like it if there were more men here to abuse me. I’d like it if… if someone else were here, one particular man… I wished it were Simon. NO! Simon could never see me this way! He’d hate me! He’d have every right to hate me!

"Maybe my cum will help you become a real man," he sneered. He was still pointing his phone camera directly at my face.

I reached up and pulled his shorts down, revealing his sweaty jock. I could smell light body odor mixed with the undeniably masculine scent of his groin. I glanced up at his face. He was about my age, maybe eighteen to twenty. He looked part Asian to me, kind of like a light skinned Jason Lee. He had the same warrior's cheekbones and the same narrow eyes that seemed to look right inside me, like he could see everything that I was, and he wasn't impressed. He was thin and muscular like Jason as well, but his body was a little hairier. That, his green eyes and his medium brown wavy hair were probably a gift from a Caucasian mother or father.

Unlike his friend, he was hot, and I could get into servicing him. The friend probably weighed as much as I did, but he was four inches shorter. He had a short beard that was light brown, but was already beginning to turn gray at the corners of his mouth. He was older, probably administrative staff rather than a student. I thought he was probably somewhere in his forties.  He had a mysterious expression on his face that made me nervous.  It wasn’t that he threatened me physically. He threatened me emotionally. His kind eyes saw through me. He knew what I was inside.

I was suddenly glad that the mouthy guy who'd started it all was here. I felt safer with him present than I would without him. The older man was looking at me with an expression that was bordering on pity. I had to look away before I broke down completely. I didn’t want to cry. I wanted to be abused, to be forced to pay for my crimes.

The sexy Asian guy’s cock was uncircumcised. I thought it looked sexy and powerful, about eight inches long and more than two inches wide, with a slightly darker color than his skin. I took it into my mouth. It was a couple inches bigger than mine, and thick enough that I would have been gagging on it a week ago, before I'd learned to swallow so well. It filled my throat and brushed against my tonsils as it slid down.

An image of Jason Lee flashed into my mind. It was the weekend before school started, a couple days before I’d attacked Simon. I’d called Jason and his boyfriend “faggots”. I’d even threatened them. Jason had sneered at me like I wasn’t worth his notice, but when I’d threatened his pretty redheaded boyfriend he’d attacked me. He’d grabbed my dick through my sweats and twisted my nuts, sending waves of pain through my body. He’d seen through me. I wished he'd done to me what this man was doing now.

My punisher brought my attention back to him. "Your mouth feels good, bitch! It fits my cock like a glove."

He was smiling at me now, and it was no longer an arrogant smirk. It was more like he was enjoying himself. When the cold and superior look resurfaced, it was like a mask coming over his face. He grabbed my head with his hands and started hammering my face, fucking my mouth like a savage. "That's it, bitch, take it like a man. I'm going to fuck you until I shoot straight down into your belly."

The other guy was making a video now. I could tell that he was aroused because his hard cock was pushing against his shorts, and he kept touching himself. I put him out of my mind and concentrated on the stud with his dick in my mouth. I grabbed his firm ass cheeks and kneaded them with my hands. That seemed to get him even more excited.

Suddenly his body tensed, and he slammed as far into my throat as he could, burying my nose in his sweaty pubes. Being used by this hot guy and being overwhelmed by his masculine smell had made me hard as well.

"Take my load, you fucking bitch!" he yelled as he shot load after load into my throat. When he finished, he pulled his cock out and wiped it on my face. "I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did… bitch."

He had a warm smile on his face as he said that. Then he patted my head and pulled up his shorts. "I'm Ryan Masters," he said. I thought "Masters" was a good last name for him. Then he pointed to his friend and said, "This is Abe, and you need to show him as good a time as you showed me."

Ryan pulled out his phone and started recording me again as I turned to face the heavyset man who was waiting eagerly for me - Abe. His expression had changed. If he was still feeling sorry for me, he was hiding it. His smile didn't seem threatening any more. Instead, his excitement was now coming through loud and clear. I lifted my hand to the waistband of his shorts, but he stopped me with a surprisingly strong grip.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"Kyle Mason," I replied.

I wanted to keep this encounter on emotionally safe ground. I couldn’t let this man with the kind eyes connect with me. I could handle derision and abuse, but I couldn’t handle tenderness, not in this setting. "Can I please suck your powerful cock, Sir?"

He got a serious look on his face and asked, "Do you really want to do this? Because I don't want to do it unless you really want to. Fantasy aside, I'm not really into rape."

That was a hard question for me to answer. I was blowing strangers in the bathroom because my master had ordered me to do it, but I was enjoying myself now that I was doing it. And this guy seemed less threatening and much nicer now. I wasn't physically attracted to him, but when I thought about it, I did want to see his cock. My master had promised me that I would learn to like all kinds of cocks from all kinds of men, and damned if he hadn't been right about that too.

"I want to suck your cock, Sir," I said, playing with the waistband of his shorts.

"And you don't want us to do anything back to you?" he asked.

"I can't, Sir," I replied. "I have a master who doesn't want me to fuck anyone or get my dick sucked or stroked."

Ryan put a hand on my shoulder and said, "We're trying to play out this fantasy of yours, but there are some things I really want to do to you. If I promise not to touch your dick, can I lick your ass while you're sucking Abe's cock?"

"You can fuck it if you want, Sir," I said.

"Maybe I will, but I want to eat it first," he replied. "You should beg Abe to fuck you. He really knows how to work an ass. Now let's get you kneeling on the bench, so you can suck and get your ass eaten at the same time."

Once I was properly situated on the bench I pulled down Abe's shorts. He was wearing white briefs instead of a jock. His body was hairy. It was almost like he was covered with a carpet of light brown hair. And I could see that he was packed. When I pulled down his briefs the cock that popped out was enormous. It was only semi-hard, and it was still more than eight inches long, and thicker than mine when fully erect.

Ryan chuckled and said, "I told you. If you ask him nicely, Abe will show you how good that monster can feel inside you."

"Is that what you want, Kyle?" Abe asked. "Do you want me to show you what I can do with this thing?"

I held it in my hand and felt it start to grow. I did want it. I doubted I could get it all in my throat without suffocating, but I wanted him to shove it all the way inside me. I liked sucking cocks, and I loved the taste of cum, but what I really wanted was someone taking my ass.

"Yes, Sir," I replied honestly, playing with his cock as I spoke. "I want you to fuck me with this thing."

"Okay then," he said with a smile. "You can suck me until I'm hard and Ryan can eat your ass until it's ready, but we'll still need a lot of lubricant."

I felt Ryan pull my cheeks apart. My master was no longer making me wear a butt plug all day, so he had no difficulty probing my hole with his tongue. It felt good, damned good. I licked the head of his cock. Unlike Ryan, he was uncircumcised, so the spongy head was completely exposed. I tried to concentrate on Abe's giant cock, but Ryan was making it difficult as he tongued my ass. Each thrust of his tongue sent waves of intense pleasure flowing through me.

I tried to get that cock in my mouth, but it was too wide to go very far inside. It was like trying to shove my wrist past my jaws. I concentrated on sucking the head and licking it until he became fully erect. My eyes must have been bulging out of my head because Abe started laughing.

"You can't do it, Kyle," Abe said. "Lots of boys have tried, and all have failed."

My asshole relaxed and opened, then I felt Ryan's finger's probing me and applying lube. I continued sucking and licking that massive cock until Ryan pronounced me ready, then Abe pulled out and moved behind me. He pressed the tip against my hole with a gentle but irresistible force. I gasped when he slid inside. Matt had been almost as big and so had Elijah, so he wasn't tearing me up, but I felt every inch as it slid inside me.

I leaned back and sighed, while my skin tingled, and I broke out in a sweat. Abe was gentle but relentless, and his voice was soothing and encouraging as he said, "Your ass is warm and tight, pretty boy. It's squeezing my cock like it's trying to milk my cum out."

I wanted to reply, but Ryan had put his cock back in my mouth and I was eagerly trying to get a second load out of him.

At first I didn't notice the twins had come into the locker room. They were identical, about five foot eight inches (the same height as Simon) and they looked only a little more solidly built. They had fair skin, blond hair with blue eyes and identical dimples in their chins. They were cute as heck. Ryan saw them and called for him to come over.

"Freddy, Teddy, come on over," he called. "Jock bitch Kyle here is offering blow jobs and his mouth is too good to miss."

Getting called out like that made me even hornier. My cock had wilted a little when Abe first shoved that monster of his inside me, but it was back now with a vengeance and throbbing hard. Ryan hadn't lied about Abe's ass fucking talent either. His cock was big enough to reach all the way past my inner sphincter, so it brushed past my gay button on every stroke, but he was talented enough to hit every part of my insides with the exact force and angle to give me maximum pleasure. I was about to lose control of myself.

Ryan dropped his second load in my mouth and then smiled at me as he wiped his cock on my face. Then he stepped back and put his arms around the shoulders of the twins. "Meet Freddy and Teddy Zimmerman," he said. "They're the youngest in our group, and the cutest."

He looked at the two boys and asked, "Do you want Kyle to suck your dicks, now?"

"Hell yeah!" Freddy said.

Teddy was blushing. He seemed to be more reserved than his brother. He shook his head yes and said, "Do you want to suck our dicks?"

Damn he was cute, I thought. Usually when I saw a pretty little gay boy, I wanted to take them, not the other way around, but I wanted to see what these boys had in their pants.

"Yes, Sir," I replied.

I didn't get a chance to unwrap their packages. They grabbed their shorts and pulled them down themselves. They were perfectly average in the dick department, maybe five and half inches, but on their slender build, their cocks looked big enough. Both boys were circumcised, and both were hard as iron. I pulled them close and took each of their cocks into my mouth in turn. While I sucked one, I stroked the other, and then I switched over. Like their faces, their cocks were identical. And they were thin enough that I could have fit them both in my mouth at once if they were lying down with their bottoms pressed together.

Abe had driven me to the verge of orgasm several times with his skillful fucking, but he always backed off and waited for the urgency to fade before continuing. But now I was too close, and so was he. He thrust inside me, pushing deep past the inner sphincter. Then he grabbed my hips, and his cock began unloading. His last thrust had pushed me over the brink as well, and I felt the orgasm that had been building suddenly blossom within me. It was like my whole body was contracting and convulsing in time with my cock. I could feel my load spilling onto the bench beneath me.

Despite my post-orgasmic lethargy setting in, I continued sucking the twins' cocks with vigor. They both appeared to be nearing orgasm themselves. Ryan came up behind them and said, "Let me help you out, boys."

He looked at me and said, "Keep Freddy's cock in your mouth. You can finish him off before moving on to sweet Teddy."

Then he lubed a finger and stuck it inside Freddy's butt and started teasing his gay spot. Freddy gave out a little cry and began shooting inside my mouth. His boy cream tasted sweet. When he finished, I took Teddy's identical cock into my mouth and sucked him just as energetically. Ryan repeated what he'd done to Freddy and stuck his lubed finger inside Teddy's butt. In a moment, I was treated to a second load of boy cream.

"I didn't think either boy could cum without something in their butts," Ryan said, but he wasn't being mean. He kissed both their heads and then their pretty mouths. Finally, he patted their butts and said, "Why don't you two clean Abe's cum out of Kyle's butt? I know you want to."

They smiled and ran around behind me and took turns licking my ass until it was clean. Abe brought his cock around for me to clean off for him. When the boys were done with my ass, they each sat on one of Ryan's knees until I was done.

"Thank you, Kyle," Abe said. "You're a hot jock and we're lucky to have been able to hook up with you. Call us any time. I sent you a message on the account listed on Grindr for you to get back to us if you ever want.

He looked at Ryan, Freddy and Teddy and said, "Time to go boys." There was no doubt in my mind who was the alpha in their group.

When I got to the lobby, Philip was gone already. I understood why, but it was a little painful. He didn't like to be confronted by the reality of my slavery, not after our date last night. I thought that he probably wanted to try and forget that part of my life. How would he feel about me if he knew that some part of me liked the sex with strangers and the degradation of being taken whenever and wherever without control on my part? I thought that was probably it. Sometimes I needed to give up all control and just do what I was told. For a guy who was always pretending to be something he wasn't, who was always walking on eggshells to keep his real self-hidden from the world, it was liberating.

Back in the room, I heard a notification on my phone. When I looked, I saw that I'd received a text from my brother Andy. I sighed and put my head in my hands. Eddie had been bad enough, but now I was going to have to face the brother who had tormented me constantly over the years while I was growing up. He was the one who'd kept teasing me for being gay. It didn't stop until sometime in his freshman year of college. He'd been the one who always teased me about playing football so I could shower with the team. He'd made my life miserable, despite being shorter than me. He was the shortest of the three of us boys; he was even shorter than Kayla, our oldest sister, and only Nancy, eight years older than him but three years younger than Kayla, was shorter than him. But he was mean.

I opened the text window and read his message. "I followed the link Eddie sent me and I saw you on that website."

Since I hadn't answered the first message, he's followed it up with, "We need to talk. Text me as soon as you get this message."

While I was reading the second message, he sent, "I'm sorry. I want to talk to you."

I replied, "What do you want to talk about?"

"Will you talk to me on the phone, or do we keep texting?" he asked.

Reluctantly I typed, "Call me. I'm free for a while."

I sat there on my dildo with a growing sense of dread. When it rang, I answered, "Hey Andy. It's me."

"I'm sorry," he said. "Don't hang up until you hear me out."

"What are you sorry about?" I asked in an unfriendly tone.

"I'm sorry that I was a shithead when I was younger," he said. "I'm sorry that I was an asshole and that I made your life miserable."

"Okay," I replied, "you saw me getting fucked in a video online and you felt a need to apologize to me. I don't believe you."

Someone was saying something in the background, and I heard Andy say, "Okay, Ernie, I will!" To me he said, "We need to see each other face to face to do this right. I'm sending you a link for a google meeting, join me asap."

"Fine," I replied.

Then I hung up. It only took a couple of minutes before the link for the meeting came through. I joined the meeting and saw Andy and his best friend Ernie sitting together on the sofa. From the angle of the camera, they were obviously looking into a laptop on the coffee table in front of them. Ernie had his arm around Andy's shoulder.

Andy was only five foot six and his friend was about four inches taller than him. I noticed that Andy was sporting a modern hair style with short spikes on the top of his head and a high fade along the sides. Ernie wore his black hair long and loose. Andy had fair skin like me, not super pale like Kieran, but still fair, while Ernie had a dark olive skin tone, a few shades lighter than Simon. I knew he was part American Indian, but I thought he probably was also part African American from his appearance.

Ernie had always been nice to me. He gave me one of his kind smiles. "Hello, Kyle. I'm glad you agreed to join us. I know it may be hard, but I'm asking you to please listen to your brother before you get too mad."

I shook my head and said, "Yes, Sir."

Andy was biting his lip and clearly hesitating when Ernie pulled him closer and kissed his temple. "It's okay, baby. Take your time and do it like we practiced."

Andy leaned his head against Ernie's chest and said, "Thank you." Then he faced forward and spoke as if he’d rehearsed his words. "I picked on you all the time when we were younger, Kyle, because I hated the things I saw in you that I hated in myself. It was wrong and cruel, and I wish I could make it better. But I can't. I know you can't forget about it, but I hope you can forgive me so we can be friends."

I was dumbfounded. I had so much to process, and so much to say, but all that came out was, "When did you become gay, Sir?"

Andy laughed. It was a very nice laugh, genuine, not like the sneering, sarcastic laugh he’d directed my way all through my childhood. "It doesn't work that way, Kyle. I was always gay and so were you. When we were little, I saw it in you, but denied it in myself."

"Yeah, I get that, Sir. I know that you're either born gay or you're not, but when did you figure it out?" I asked.

"Within a few months of getting out of the house. I had a gay roommate (he leaned his head against Ernie again) aaaand I got more obnoxious than normal. One day he had enough, and he punched me in the face. We ended up wrestling around on the ground and then somehow we ended up kissing."

Ernie kissed Andy's head again and said, "It was like a scene from a terrible porno movie, but it was the most rewarding fight I'd ever been in."

Andy started giggling as Ernie kissed his neck. "Then he fucked the straight right out of me.”

Ernie’s fingers were gently stroking Andy’s neck. “It wasn't a challenge. It turned out there wasn't much straight in him to begin with. He got all pouty the next morning and pretended that I'd raped him, but he came back whining two days later, begging me to fuck him again."

"So, all those times we went fishing over the summer and you two disappeared to find another spot…?" I asked.

"Your formerly homophobic brother was busily bouncing his pretty ass on my cock. I wanted him to come out to your family back then, but he was afraid to lose the financial support, so I let him wait. He's not afraid anymore."

It felt good that Andy was apologizing. Everything he’d done to me still hurt, but I had to forgive him. I had to know that it was possible to be forgiven for past crimes. It was all I had to hope for.

"I'm glad you're happy, Andy," I said truthfully, "even if you were a complete dickhead when we were young. I was an asshole too. I don't want to talk about the shit I did once I got here, not online anyway. Unlike me and Eddie you never ra… never mind. You made my life miserable, but I did worse things."

Andy sighed. "Don't worry about it. Neither of us can change the past. We'd like to come visit you on family weekend, Ernie and me, not the homophobes I hope. We can talk then, but I don't want you to worry about Dad. This weekend, Ernie and I are going to pay him a visit. We're not coming out, at least not yet, but I've convinced him to financially restructure so we won't have to pay an inheritance tax. You know how he is about paying taxes. To make a long story short, I've convinced him to restructure the family businesses into a family held corporation. He'll keep half the shares and divide the remaining half between the five of us. Once that's done, he can't take our shares away."

"How did you convince him to do that, Sir?" I asked. It wasn't like Dad to give us money without getting something from us in return.

"I promised to come work for him when I finish my MBA," he said. "You know that he thinks Eddie's an okay manager, but not smart enough to run the business without supervision. He may change his mind when I come out, but I'm betting his greed will win out in the end. He wants to be remembered as a great man. It won't sit well for his reputation if the company falls apart due to bad management after his death."

"I look forward to seeing you, Andy, Sir," I said, and I was surprised that it was true. He seemed happier and friendlier. He'd always been surly and brooding while we were growing up.

Judging from his smile, he was relieved by my acceptance. "By the way. You can count on support from Nancy and me. She hates Eddie as much as I do, and she once told me that I was a piece of shit for tormenting you just because you're gay. So, I'm pretty sure she knows. Kayla's a bitch and almost as hateful as Eddie and Dad, but we can handle them. So, relax and don't worry. See you later, Baby Bro."

That was the most unexpected conversation of my life. Andy had been my chief tormentor, but it now sounded like he'd been acting out of fear and hatred of his own gayness. Could I still hate him for what he did when he was younger? It was so much like what I used to do to all those gay boys. Was he worse than me? Or were we the same? I still didn't trust him completely, but then the look on his face when he and Ernie were cuddling on the sofa came to mind. I had to give him a chance.

It should have occurred to me then that I could just as well have been talking about myself. I made a conscious decision to forgive Andy for all that he had done for me, to recognize that all those things were in the past. I wasn't introspective enough to realize that I deserved the same treatment from myself. I still hadn't forgiven myself for what I’d done back then. I was holding myself to a higher standard. I'd learn later, but not right then.

I had more dreams during the week, but Kieran didn't feature in any of them. I couldn't put it out of my mind that the one part of the dream on Monday night that had seemed most real had been the part with Kieran. Once he was there, the dream came into sudden focus with more clarity than any of the other parts had shown. The other parts were more like normal dreams, hazy, jumbled and confused.

The rest of the week went as expected. I met up with Oliver's group on Wednesday to study for class. Oliver set the agenda and everyone in our class felt like we'd aced the test on Thursday. Micah Blume couldn't take his eyes off me, which was a real turn on. He was a dark-haired, olive-skinned mage who wore a collar and matching ankle and wrist cuffs. Ethan Lowry looked guilty around me. He was a cute little blond who looked so much like a California surfer boy that I was surprised to find out he'd grown up in New York. I felt like a giant in a sea of twinks in that group.

I also noticed that Tristan and Lalo were sitting together a lot, although Lalo kept stealing glances at Oliver and Tristan had started teasing Cameron. After meetings, all six little twinks went to dinner together. I should have said “five little twinks and Cameron''. The freckled redhead was shorter than me, but he was twunkishly studly. They'd invited me, but I had to meet Philip for my workout. Apparently Sebastian went to dinner with them and managed to squeeze them all into his little electric car. It made no sense to me.

And my workouts and study sessions with Simon were becoming more tense. My attraction to him was growing and I was struggling to hide it.

Andy sent me dozens of pictures of him and Ernie together. Eating dinner at restaurants, touring Mammoth Cave, riding the water rides at Kings Island, sitting in front of a tent in the woods, hugging at Cedar Point, their cheeks pressed together at Niagara Falls, on the Mall in Washington DC, and by the ocean at Myrtle Beach. Ernie was wearing board shorts and Andy was wearing a speedo so tiny it could have been a posing strap. He was showing me how his life was different now. The thing I noticed most of all was that he was happier than he'd ever been at home. He also sent me several more texts informing me that Lexington was a nice place to live for gay folks. He and Ernie wanted me to visit sometime. It was kind of overwhelming emotionally.

Of course, my master sent me out to suck cocks at various places around campus each day, and I still had to show up at the waxing salon next to the Blue Room on Thursday night and let Gideon play with ass before fucking me. That guy liked to push me to my limits physically. I couldn’t say that I enjoyed our sessions together, but I always felt a strange sense of accomplishment afterwards.

And Philip was a little distant when we met to workout. He seemed confused, concerned and maybe a little hurt, like I was the one who'd been pulling away from him, rather than him confusing the rules.

 

Nico

Kyle's training was coming along fine. He was learning to appreciate the varieties of passive gay sex. I made him try everything, but I tried not to make him go back for things that he didn't enjoy. The one exception was the ass play that Gideon subjected him to. I couldn't tell whether he hated it or not. I wasn't sure if he even knew. In any event, the information I was getting from Gideon was too valuable for me to risk that source. As a were-lynx he could get places humans couldn't and his shop, right next to the Blue Room, gave him access to many sources of information I lacked. He'd supplied me with a list of suspected watchers and hunters. He'd also informed me that more than one vampire was in town.

No one threatened me, which was a little disappointing now that I had such lethal bodyguards. And I'd paid a visit to those members of X22:18 I'd met earlier in the park. I left one of them dead by apparent auto-erotic asphyxiation, or rather my Shadow Strangler did, but the other two had become my eyes and ears in the group. They ranked very low, so they didn't have access to any sensitive information, but they were identifying others for me. Without them harming me or those under my protection, I couldn't use my most potent elven magics. I could have killed them, and easily covered it up as accidents, but I chose to keep them under surveillance instead.

The most interesting thing was that the new Custodes in town had tried to intimidate me. Custodes were used to getting their own way, and Mordecai Adler was among the worst of them. His reputation as a lethal mage duelist was well-deserved. I'd heard firsthand about his battle with Robardin during the Millennium Uprising, and it was impressive, but he was the kind of custos who thought he could bully and intimidate others based on his reputation. And he was also a mundane law enforcement official with the FBI. He didn't deserve the hero worship he got from the common mage in the street.

He'd been furious that I was coldly stoic during our conversations instead of showing fear. I couldn't do anything to him unless he or his son were somehow to cross a line with me or those under my protection, but I promised myself to keep an eye on that twink mageling freshman who was spending nights at the Adler place. One step over the line and I would put father and son in their places.

I'd been concerned when I found out that Kyle's other brother had contacted him, but it had gone well. It seemed that he wanted to reconnect with my slave in a positive way. I'd keep an eye on the situation, but it looked like Eddie was the only dangerous sibling. I still had plans for him, and for the father as well.

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You can read each story in The Concordium Cycle independently, or you can follow the author's preferred reading order that will blend the stories together. The next chapter in the author's preferred reading order is The Pack 8. It will be out soon.

Special Thanks to my editor [email protected].