Dan Needs A Public Education

"You took your time."

Luka gets snippy when he's stressed, or anxious, or uncertain about shit, and I guess he's probably all three right now. At least, the barbed sarcasm and accusatory stare would certainly suggest that. 

Part of me wants to fire back with equal levels of snark. Lean into the whole "sorry, I was having to deal with the load you filled me with" angle, which I knew unnerved him before. Or needle any of the other trigger points which, when you've been best friends with someone for almost as many years as you've each been alive, you know instinctively. 

It'd be so easy to stumble into bickering, and show this guy Xander just what his boyfriend is like when he's being childish and tetchy. Only I really don't want that. 

Not so much because I'm feeling altruistic, but more for reasons that are self-centered and greedy. I can remember all the times over the past few days when I've looked at Luka's name on my phone screen, at the last few messages in our conversations, and wished desperately that I could talk to him about how I felt, and what I'd been doing. 

And maybe wearing an outfit borrowed from his boyfriend - whose first time meeting me was to see me trapped, naked and cum-soaked, in a grimy restroom stall - and with the taste of strangers' loads rich on my tongue isn't the best time, or circumstance, in which to have that conversation. But the idea of holding off and waiting until that mythical "perfect moment" arrives leaves my stomach in knots. 

"So you're dating, then?" I say, instead, rather than rising to his bait. 

My eyes flit between them, wishing I could watch both of their faces simultaneously. See how Luka's expression twists with something close to self-conscious embarrassment, even as Xander's knowing grin spreads wider. As if he's fully aware that I've decided offense is the best defense, here, at least for now, but isn't feeling any inclination to call me out on it. Not for the moment, anyway .

Luka's face is red, and normally I'd point that out and make a joke about it. Instead I just let him sit with that discomfort, waiting to hear what he'll decide he wants to tell me. 

We tell each other most stuff, that's the thing. It just doesn't always come in one fell swoop. 

"You... you knew that..." He shrugs, as if I've been guilty of selective memory. 

"I knew you two were hooking up," I correct him. See how he winces, even as Xander's stare back at me continues, unflinching and apparently undaunted. 

My best friend shrugs again, awkwardly, and I can't help but take pity on him. 

"I think that's great. You could've told me."

Luka's expression is a mixture of relief, gratitude, and annoyance, all sitting uneasily on his face. "I'm not the only one who's been keeping secrets."

I could tell him I didn't say anything because I didn't want to derail his own self-discovery, or because it's not a big deal, but I know I'd only be making excuses. "You'd only say I needed to stop."

It's that "no shit, idiot" look that I'm so familiar with. The one which seems to have a direct route to my furious lizard brain, bypassing all the sensible "he's only saying this because he's your friend and he cares" parts.

And so I'm taking a breath in order to tell him to go fuck himself when Keenan appears, with a beaming "A+ customer service" expression and what I assume is my smoothie. 

"Sorry for the delay, I was a little late coming on shift." He smiles at me, and you could almost think it was innocent. "I made it extra-creamy for you, I hope that's how you like it." 

Words seem to be beyond me all of a sudden. All I can do is reach out and take the drink he's holding out to me, nodding as I try to ignore the fact that I can still taste him in my mouth. 

A fleeting hint of a wink, and then he's turning to Luka and Xander. 

"Hey guys, good to see you again. Can I get you any refills?" 

Xander looks the picture of comfortable indifference, but there's no way not to notice how my best friend has blushed, hotly, and for no good reason as far as I can tell. 

"I think we're good," Xander says, returning the grin. "But thanks."

His hand has fallen onto Luka's thigh, and it looks casual but I can't stop staring at it and I know Keenan is looking too. When I manage to tear my gaze away, I realize even Luka is watching the fingers gently squeezing his leg, eyes wide and with an expression that makes me think he's stopped breathing. 

Keenan flashes me a look that I can only read as "guess these kids are fucking, then" which seems, frankly, pretty rich given he just got done riding my dick in the bathroom. Then again, I'm ahead of him when it comes to knowing exactly what Luka and Xander get up to together, since I've seen their text messages and know they flip-fuck. Even if, right now, Xander's hold on my friend's leg makes it look a lot like he's staking a claim. 

"Well, I'll leave you guys to it," Keenan says, and for a moment I feel this flare of annoyance that I can't go with him. Rather than face Luka's renewed wrath, when he stops being all self-conscious and remembers he's pissed at me again. 

I can't, though, so I try to suck my smoothie through the straw that's too narrow for it, and wait for my best buddy to decide what aspect of my diabolical behavior he wants to pick apart first. 

"I don't know how you can be so reckless."

It's childish, to roll my eyes at him, but I do it anyway. "Practice, I guess."

Luka's glare deepens. "And how many guys is that, then?"

The truth is that I could probably count them up, but I have no real desire to give him more specific ammunition. 

"Am I including you in that grand total?" I ask him, instead. 

From his hiss, I figure I'm not. 

"They stole your clothes!" He looks beyond exasperated. "We had to bring you something to wear so that you wouldn't get arrested!" 

"Fine, I'll call someone else next time," I say, sourly. "I'm so sorry for inconveniencing you."

He opens his mouth to say something else, but all that comes out is a grunt of frustration. Sits back heavily against the cushions, arms folded and a moody expression that makes me think of when we'd just turned teenagers and his parents had told us we still weren't old enough to do something. 

I'm so caught up in the memory of that, I jolt when Xander speaks.

"So, what is it about it, that you like?"

And it's weird, because you'd think that would be an easy thing to answer, and yet - beyond the basics, the obvious stuff, the "friction feels good on your dick" part - I haven't had to put it into words yet. In fact, I've studiously avoided dwelling too much on what, exactly, my motivations are, because that strays ominously close to the conclusion that I just can't help myself. 

"I get it," I tell him, "you don't approve."

I think I expect him to react like I know Luka would, if I said that to my friend. With something loud, and angry, and a little indignant. Only Xander just fixes me with this blunt, unwavering stare, and suddenly I'm feeling itchy in my seat and like I want to run and hide in the bathroom again. 

I can't not remember the feel of his hand across my mouth, as he pulled Luka and I together in that restroom stall. The way his voice was so softly beguiling, when he encouraged his boyfriend to push into the cummy mess of my hole. 

Xander feels dangerous, in a way I'm not sure I'm set up to handle. Not right now, anyway. Not when I'm wearing his clothes, and there's the loads of several men drying on, and in me. 

"Does it matter if I approve or not?" 

It shouldn't, and yet clearly it does, because otherwise I wouldn't feel the way I do: like a kid who just got caught doing something he knew was wicked. The knowledge of that is galling.

"Why did you get off on seeing Luka fuck me?"

It's a grin and a shrug, all in one, like Xander doesn't have an answer but isn't letting that ignorance embarrass him. 

"Did you not enjoy it, Danny? Your best friend nailing you?"

For once, I can see what he's doing. How he's trying to get a rise out of me; shift the focus to something he's confident will unnerve me. 

"That's not what I asked," I tell him, mulish. "I asked why you wanted to see him and me hook up."

I wondered if he'd be pissed at my pushing back, annoyed at it, and yet Xander's just giving me this almost gleeful look. As if the back and forth of almost-arguing this stuff is what he really enjoys, and he's glad I didn't just allow myself to be derailed so easily. 

"I saw the photos, and the videos," he explains, and none of us need to clarify which he's talking about. "And Luka told me about it. How much you both got turned on, taking them all. How... invested you were."

There's an implication there that makes me scowl, as if I'm being accused of harboring some sort of simmering lust for my best friend all along, and the impromptu photoshoots were all it took to unlock those desires. Whereas I still remember it being far more spontaneous. 

"He's my closest friend. I wanted to make him look good."

Xander smirks. "He did. Just like you looked good, bent over while he plowed you using a bunch of strangers' cum as lube."

I see, out of the corner of my eye, Luka jerk his head around. Presumably terrified of us being overhead, even if his boyfriend seems unbothered by the prospect. Or maybe he just already scoped out the room, tempered his volume to suit. I'm not sure I can imagine Xander being cowed by a disapproving audience. 

Something about that feels almost liberating, by proxy. 

"It felt good, too," I admit, holding his gaze. "He's a great fuck. But I don't need to tell you that, do I."

There's that flash of genuine glee again. 

"You got his second load of the day. First was mine, on all-fours with him riding me."

It's an incredible mental image, and frankly - even though I not long got off with Keenan - it's enough to get me hard again now. I don't make much of an attempt to hide how I readjust myself through the borrowed sweatpants. 

"Dude, seriously?" Luka sounds unimpressed, but Xander's grin has spread. It's that which leaves me feeling bolder.

"You're the one who fucked us both," I point out, basking in his boyfriend's radiating amusement. "Can you blame us for sharing notes?"

There's a choking noise from somewhere in Luka's throat, and I'm about to laugh when I realize he's not looking at me any more - not fixing me with that achingly-familiar "why do you have to be such a pervert?" expression - but up, over my shoulder instead. Xander, too, and suddenly I understand that it's not just my bluntness with my best friend that's leaving him so entertained. 

Turning, to see Keenan staring at me with wide-eyed surprise, only confirms just how indiscreet I've been. Seems Luka didn't need to worry about his boyfriend being overheard: it was me who inadvertently spilled our collective secrets. 

All four of us are silent, for a beat, until Keenan breaks it.

"I was... going to ask if anybody needed refills."

There are about a half-dozen filthy jokes you could make from that alone, but I suspect Luka would have a coronary if I dared try. Instead I just watch the barista's face, trying to decipher how, exactly, he might react to this new information.

"Luka, you want another drink?" 

Xander somehow sounds normal, still, and there's a side-corridor of my brain that's wondering exactly how much it would take to actually unnerve him. And, for that matter, whether he could teach me his magical powers. 

"Uh..." Luka sounds like words are beyond him, again. 

I see Keenan's eyes flit between him, and me, and back to Luka. Then how his smile curls a little further. 

"You did say the fifth was your friend," he observes, softly. Pitched, he could probably argue, for my ears alone, but I wouldn't count out Xander's attentiveness. 

It's a fair paranoia, it seems, given his next question. "You guys know each other?" 

I hear Keenan take a breath to reply, and quickly speak over him. "This is the first time I've been in here."

It's an answer, but it's not the answer to the actual question Xander asked, and I know that he's just as aware of that as I am. So, all that remains is to see whether he decides to call me out on it. 

I'm so focused on waiting to find out, I can't hide my jerk of surprise when Luka pipes up instead. 

"Why does this guy know that you and I had sex?" 

Keenan clearly needs to learn how to control his volume, or maybe my friend has better hearing than I thought, but they're just throwaway thoughts that my brain juggles while it shrieks with indecision. Feeling like all the spinning plates in my life are suddenly falling down onto me, and it's hard to envisage a way to catch them all. 

And with it, with that frustration and uncertainty, a wash of something close to exhaustion flooding through me. Because so far today I've been plowed five times, had my stuff stolen, been scolded by my best friend, and had to navigate meeting his new - his first ever - boyfriend while wearing said-boyfriend's clothes. And that's not even the whole of it, but it's enough to make me settle on blunt honesty as, if not the best route, then the only one I have the energy left for.

"I told him while we were hooking up in the bathroom just before," I say. Wondering what Keenan's reaction might be behind me, but more attentive to the bulging, wide-eyed shock and confusion that's clear on Luka's face.

"You and him... just now..." Luka's mouth opens and closes a few times, and it's silly but I daren't laugh. "You had sex with another guy while we were sitting here waiting for you?"

Xander slaps his knee, smirking at me. "Damn, Danny."

I hear Keenan snort, softly, over my shoulder. "Oh, Danny is it?"

I roll my eyes at Xander, which does nothing to dim his smile. "It's Dan," I correct.

Luka's face is red again. "He didn't even know your name?"

There's something - even though I know it's probably destructive, and not going to be especially helpful in the long run - which makes me want to lean into this strategy of no-punches-pulled truth. Weaponized honesty, in the face of my closest friend's surging indignation. 

"It didn't seem particularly necessary," I explain, "while he was fucking himself on my dick."

I think the cough of laughter was from Xander, but it could've been from Keenan. 

I sigh, feeling that rush of tiredness again. "Look... Luka, Xander, this is Keenan. I met him in the park, and I didn't know he worked here but... yeah. We hooked up again." I cast a glance over my shoulder. "Keenan, this is Luka, my best friend. He fucked me for the first time today, after bringing me some new clothes because a bunch of guys bred me in the park restroom and then stole my stuff."

There's something about laying it all out like this, being so upfront, that makes it easier to just keep going. 

"And this is Luka's boyfriend, Xander, who I only met for the first time today, too. And it's been kinda weird, honestly, because I'm wearing his clothes and he encouraged Luka and I to fuck." I frown, trying to remember what I might've missed. "Oh, and they only just found out that I've been, like, cruising a lot recently. So they're pissed at me, because they think it's risky. Or, Luka is. Pissed, I mean. I don't think Xander cares much, either way."

I reach for the smoothie, only to discover I've already finished it. Set the empty cup down again, wondering if the offer of a refill still stands. 

I don't really know what I expect them to say. Like, I can imagine Luka spluttering and scolding, but I don't know Xander or Keenan well enough to predict their reactions. 

"Xander has good taste in underwear."

There's no way to keep it in, the burst of almost explosive laughter at Keenan's observation. About as far away from anything I might've guessed, and so all I can do is give in to the growing sense of overwhelming ridiculousness of the moment, the day, the whole week. 

"He does," I agree, in-between snorts of hiccuping giggles. "But I'm really gonna have to wash them before he gets them back. They're kinda cummy at this point."

"Dude!" Luka blurts out. I guess my lewdness finally overcame his brain's reboot loop. 

It's Xander that replies to him, though, reaching out again to squeeze his thigh. Higher up, this time, a finger's width or so from the swell of my best friend's crotch. "It's your cum, remember."

Luka's expression is simultaneously outraged and mortified. Enough that I can't help but take pity on him. 

"Only some of it," I correct. 

From the look he flashes me, that didn't exactly help matters. I shrug. 

Xander's hand slips in behind his neck, tugging Luka's face in closer. It's fascinating to see the way he both bristles at the public intimacy, but also can't seem to help melting at the older guy's touch. 

"What is it about Danny exploring this stuff that gets you so worked up?"

I want to believe I can hear nothing but genuine curiosity in Xander's voice. Not that I dare do anything but hold my breath, waiting for Luka's answer. 

"It's dangerous," he says, softly. Talking about me, I know, but he only has eyes for his boyfriend. 

"Lots of things people enjoy doing are dangerous," Xander points out. "Would you get angry at him for dirt biking, or snowboarding, or skydiving?"

For a minute I think Luka's going to laugh, but he doesn't. Just glances across at me, the fastest flicker of his eyes; his gaze barely catching on my own, but it's enough. More than enough, really, for me to see exactly what's going on: to understand why he's so worked up right now. 

"You're not gonna lose me, dude," I tell him. 

Aware of Xander listening, and Keenan, and maybe I should feel self-conscious about this conversation I'm having with my closest, oldest friend, about how personal it has suddenly become, but I don't. Can't, even. Because it's that intimacy which explains everything, has underscored all the shit that Luka and I have gone through together since we were both little kids. 

I love my best friend, and that makes me want to push him out of his comfort zone and get the experiences and the good things I know he deserves. 

My best friend loves me, and that leaves him terrified I'm going to do something so risky, so reckless, that he'll be left behind, without me. 

Luka's staring at me, and it's crazy but I know he's thinking the same thing as I am. Like it dawning on me meant that it would automatically do the same for him. 

"You're such an asshole," he says, but there's a softness there to it, now. Something far more like the way we talk to each other when it's just me and him, eating chips and playing video games in the basement, in that bubble of familiarity you so quickly learn to take for granted. 

"Blow me," I fire back, grinning. 

He side-eyes his boyfriend. "He'd only want to watch."

There's something charmingly blatant about Xander's chuckle. The way it makes abundantly clear that, whether or not Luka was being playful, he wasn't wrong. 

"Do I get an invite?" 

Keenan says it like it's also a joke, but I figure there's just as much a thread of reality there. "Take my number, then," I suggest, "so we can maybe hang out, I mean."

He laughs as he punches it into his phone. "Just two old friends reminiscing about the good times, got it."

Considering all of our good times so far have included my getting fed cum, it's not a stretch to guess what his "reminiscing" would involve. Not that I'm really complaining. 

My phone buzzes; I fish it out of my pocket, finding a new message. 

"That's from me," Keenan adds. 

Not that I need the explanation, not with the picture he's sent. After all, there's nobody else who could've snapped a shot of me sprawled - sticky, and dazed, and exposed - on the forest floor, right after our first encounter in the park together. Right after he'd left me there, my heart still pounding in my chest, lips tingling from our kisses and the taste of strangers fierce on my tongue. A photo I hadn't even realized he was taking, as the glazed expression of shock on my face makes clear. 

I glance up at him, over my shoulder, and then at Luka who's watching us in amusement. "I have the worst luck with friends," I tell them, trying to sound at least a little serious.

The way all three of them laugh at me says I didn't do a particularly convincing job. 

---

There's one part still to come, the epilogue (I know this was light on smut, but I promise I make up for it next time 😏)

This is a spin off from "Xander Shows Me My Prostate" which, along with more stories, is over on my site. Or check out my latest story, "Same Old Bobby": it's about what happens when you accidentally fall for your best friend's hot older brother 🥵 Thanks for reading!

-Alex