So there I was, exhausted, out of breath, covered in dirt and grass and my father’s cum, watching the light go out behind my dad’s eyes as he processed what I just said.
“You want to… what?”
He stared at me like he’d just walked in on me eating my own hair.
A fair reaction, really. Most fathers and their adult sons don’t have incestuous love affairs, and when they do, they generally have the common sense to keep that to themselves. Or to tell a few trusted friends, I suppose.
What they do NOT do is decide to tell their mother/wife, the very woman who wed the one and birthed the other. Anyone in their right mind could agree that that would be a very bad, very STUPID idea.
So why did I feel the impulse to jump in my dad’s car, speed home as quickly as possible, and throw myself at my mother’s feet to beg forgiveness?
I couldn’t tell ya. Maybe I was driven dick-crazy. I’d certainly had enough of it in the last 12 hours to send anyone into a frenzy. All I could say is that, once the thought entered my head, there was no going back.
Judging from his expression, Dad didn’t seem to share my delusion (I guess going boy-pussy-crazy isn’t a thing).
I was about to explain further when Elijah came up from behind and wrapped me in a big hug.
“Dude, you were awesome!”
He lifted me off my feet and spun me around in a circle. Dad’s face got lost in the whirl. Soon we were surrounded by a group of guys all crowding in to congratulate us.
“I gotta admit, I underestimated you,” he said with a wry grin. “'Cause you got those little legs and all. But man, you proved me wrong!”
I smiled despite myself, dizzy from the spinning and the prospect of incest confession. “Never bet against a demon twink.”
His smile was sweet and infectious. “You’re so funny, dude,” he said, brushing back his sweaty red bangs. “I’m glad you’re here.”
The fuzzy feeling in my stomach turned to dread when I felt Dad’s hand on my shoulder. “We should probably get cleaned up. Don’t you think, son?”
Elijah gave him a casual nod. “That was awesome, Mr. Wyte.”
Dad ignored him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the crowd toward the shower pavilion.
I let him drag me along like a Pomeranian on a leash. Despite my urge to confess, I found myself dreading being alone with him all of a sudden.
The shower pavilion loomed like a slaughterhouse. It was empty when we went inside.
“You were kind of rude back there, you know,” I said, for lack of anything else.
Dad searched the stalls to make sure we were alone, then turned to me.
“It’s not a good idea.”
I shook my head. “I can’t lie to her, Dad.”
“It’s not lying–”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not!” His eyes were pleading, desperate. “I told you, she doesn’t want to know–”
“When it’s you fucking some woman on a business trip, not your own son!” I cried out. “I’m pretty sure she’d feel differently if she knew, don’t you?”
“It would ruin our family,” he said quietly. “Don’t you get that?”
I felt the sudden urge to throw up. The weight of our sin had finally landed, and the reality of the shit storm we were in had sucked all the air out of the room.
“Oh God, Dad. What did we do?” I started pacing, as if I could outrun the guilt. “I mean, what the hell were we thinking? We fucked! Penis and butthole! Not just once, but, like, a lot! Why did we do that?”
“It’s all right,” he said, somehow calm amidst all the chaos.
I turned on him like a rabid dog. “All right? According to who? Jesus H Christ, you were inside me. You were inside me, and now we gotta tell Mom or else I literally think I’m going to die.”
“Leo, breathe.” He grabbed my shoulders, keeping me planted to the ground. “You’re having a panic attack. Just calm down and take a deep breath.”
I followed his instructions, trying to resist the impulse to bolt.
“Everything is going to be okay. We will get through this.”
I took another deep breath, trying to believe that could somehow be true.
“...But we are not telling your mother.”
Son of a bitch.
I shoved him. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re used to lying to her. But I’m not!”
I felt the hysteria bubbling out of me like vomit. I brought my nails to my lip and started chewing frantically.
“May-maybe she’ll be okay with it, yeah?” I nodded eagerly, as if nodding hard enough would get him to agree. “She’ll understand. Maybe?”
Dad shook his head. For some reason, that made me even angrier.
“Why did you let this happen, Dad?” I cried. “You’re the parent, you’re supposed to–”
“I didn’t think you’d be stupid enough to want to tell her!” he snapped.
I took a step back. It wasn’t often Dad lost his temper with me and it made me feel like a little kid.
“This doesn’t have to change anything, son,” he said, a bit more calmly. “Not if we don’t let it.”
I snorted. “What do you suggest, Dad? We have some sort of secret love affair behind Mom’s back?” I rubbed my face with both hands. “God, this is such a fucking mess.”
“What if we pretended it never happened?” he said. “It was a one-time mistake. We just go back to the way things were. She doesn’t need to know, and… and I can just be your dad again…”
He rubbed my shoulder. I closed my eyes, melting into his touch.
God, it was so easy to fall back into him.
“I don’t think I can,” I said sadly. “Not when I’ve…”
I looked up at him, at that handsome bear-face and that damn furry mustache that I’d now felt thrice on my butthole. Even now, it throbbed for him.
I sighed. “You can’t unfuck your son, Dad. And I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s my mother. Sure, she’s weird and kind of an alcoholic, but she’s my mom. Look what I did to her. I fucked her husband, for Christ’s sake. What kind of a son does that to his own mother?”
Tears blurred my eyes. I bit down on my fist to hold it back, my face burning with shame.
He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me.
“It’s okay, honey,” he said softly. “It’s gonna be okay.”
He held me for a moment, gently rocking me side to side. His body felt so nice against mine. So strong. My dad, my hero. I would never forget last night, the feeling of his heft crushing me into the ground. How he pulsed inside me. His gift, flowing into me…
I pulled away. “Are you trying to get in my pants again?” I asked angrily.
His eyes widened. “N-no, I promise. I was just trying to comfort you, baby.”
I glared at him, searching his face for the truth.
I felt reckless. Out of control. I wanted to hold him, to punish him. To be punished. Gutted. Absolved.
“You still want me, though. Don’t you?” I said it like I knew it was a fact.
He blinked. “Leo… I don’t–”
“Shut up.”
I grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in for a kiss, standing up on my tiptoes to reach his lips.
He pushed me away. “Leo, stop. We can’t–”
I kissed him again, forcing his silence with my lips. He resisted for a moment, but weakness won out. He stopped fighting me, groaning as he let my tongue into his mouth. I felt his hands around my waist, sliding under my shirt. His hardness pressed into my stomach, his attraction to me still strong even after a night of lovemaking.
I needed my daddy.
He picked me up, pressing me against the wall as I wrapped my legs around him. Thoughts of Mom were forgotten, washed out to sea by my desire for Dad.
He slid his hand down my shorts into the cleft between my cheeks, his fingers finding my still-sore hole.
I whined as he slipped the tip of his finger inside me, feeling around for my button. Nothing was okay, but nothing mattered. Just him holding me, kissing me, touching me.
“Make love to me, Daddy,” I whispered in between kisses. “Make me your boy.”
I had just felt the tip of Dad’s cock slide into me when a voice rang out through the pavilion.
“Leo? You in here?”
Dad dropped me on the ground lightning-quick, forcing his erection back into his shorts.
I barely had time to yank my own shorts up when Elijah turned around the corner.
He stopped when he saw us. “Oh, sorry, Mr. Wyte. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You’re fine,” I said, awkwardly covering my boner with my forearm. “What’s, uh, what’s up?”
He shrugged, probably regretting his decision to enter the incest pavilion. “I just thought maybe you’d like to grab lunch.”
“Yes,” I said, practically before he finished asking. “Definitely.”
I took a step toward him when Dad grabbed my arm. “Leo–”
“I’ll see you later, yeah?” I said, brushing him off and following Elijah outside.
I didn’t look back to see what Dad would do. I was still buzzing with adrenaline, practically skipping alongside Elijah as we walked the path toward the mess hall. I must have looked like a tweaker.
“Fuck, don’t you just love this weather?” I said cheerily. “Makes you wanna move out to the mountains like a couple of lesbians.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is everything okay?”
At this rate, I’d give myself away before we made it to lunch. I forced myself to dial it down a notch.
“Yep. Just hungry.”
“I figured, since you missed breakfast, and all.” He flashed me a cheeky grin. “Not that I was too surprised.”
Oh shit.
“The fuck does that mean?” I tried to sound as non-aggressive as possible.
He laughed. “I mean, you sleep till, like, noon. We had to practically drag you out of bed on the mission trip.”
Relief flooded me. “God forbid a girl try to get some beauty sleep,” I said snarkily.
Lunch was set up on some tables outside the mess hall. We grabbed a couple of plates and started building sandwiches.
“So,” he said, grabbing a bottle of mustard. “It seems like you and your Dad buried the hatchet, no?”
“Can we talk about literally anything else?” I said a little too loudly.
I caught sight of his shocked face and let out an awkward laugh. “I just mean… I am so over father-son bonding, you know?”
“Sure,” he said with a warm smile. He looked around, then leaned in conspiratorially and said, “Hey, what do you say we get out of here?”
I blinked. “Like, go back to the city?”
He shook his head. “I was thinking we could take our food and do some exploring. There’s this little waterfall thing, like a half-mile away. Dad and I found it at last year’s retreat. It’s a great place to swim.”
I saw my father approach the other end of the table and froze. He was about to look up and see me when, out of nowhere, Dicky approached him with a fresh plate, his tits bouncing like he was in Baywatch.
“Let’s do it,” I said quickly.
He grinned. “Rad.”
We took our food and headed off into the forest, leaving the noise and bustle of the camp behind us. I was grateful to be away from everyone else, even if I couldn’t truly be alone. But there was something comforting about being around Elijah. He was so normal. It felt like I was getting normal by osmosis.
“It’s just up here,” he said as the path took a turn. He took a bite of his sandwich and moaned slightly. “God, I love mustard. If I were on a desert island and I could have only one condiment, it’d be yellow mustard for sure.”
For some reason, that soothed me.
I jogged up beside him, nudging him teasingly in the shoulder. “Don’t you feel bad, ditching your ‘super-cool’ Dad when you should be bonding?”
Elijah shoved the rest of his sandwich in his knapsack. “He’ll be fine. Besides, isn’t it kind of fun screwing off? Being bad?”
He grinned in what I supposed was meant to be a mischievous way, but it just came across as goofy.
“Elijah, you wouldn’t know being bad if it pegged you over a couch.”
He winked at me. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d stopped by the tent last night.”
Now I was the one grinning.
We followed the path for another minute or two before we reached the waterfall. As previously mentioned, I don’t usually give a shit about nature, but this was fucking gorgeous. Crystal clear water cascaded from a high ridge into a deep pool of water at the bottom, a small lake of deep blue water that trickled into a small stream down the mountain.
“Holy shit,” I said, staring at it with awe.
Elijah pulled his tank top over his head. My eyes immediately locked in on his farmer’s tan and pale pink nipples.
“Wanna go for a swim?”
“Ah shit. I knew I forgot something.” I sighed. “And I had the perfect Speedo for it, too.”
Elijah was already stripping down to his grey boxer briefs.
“I was just gonna go in the buff,” he said, rubbing his chest and stretching. “It’s not like there’s anyone around to see us.”
I couldn’t help but glance down at his package. I’d caught a glimpse of it the night before in the shower, but hadn’t gotten a chance to really study it.
Despite his bravado, he turned away before pulling his underwear down. I had to crane my neck to get a peek at his thick red bush and long, floppy cock.
Fuck. I really love dick.
Quick as a flash, he ran to the edge of the water and launched into a cannonball, yelling,“Geronimo!”
Geronimo. This motherfucker was a real-life Hardy Boy.
I stripped off my clothes, eager to join him.
Elijah waded in the water below, looking up at me with an eager smile on his face. “Come on in, the water’s amazing!”
It was my turn to be shy. I turned away as I slipped off my dad’s boxers and tossed them on my pile of clothes nearby. I felt a weird tingling sensation throughout my body, like I used to feel when I did something bad, like shoplift at Claire’s.
“Ready or not, here I come!” I yelled, now a Hardy Boy myself, apparently.
I jumped in the lake, immediately regretting my boldness when the chilly water engulfed me.
“Fuck, this is so cold!” I yelled as soon as I surfaced. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering. “Why did you say it was amazing?”
“Are you kidding?” Elijah said cheerily. “What’s better than a cold plunge?”
“I can think of at least a hundred off the top of my head,” I grumbled.
He swam over to me, laughing. “Come here.”
He grabbed my arms and pulled me closer, rubbing my shoulders. “There, is that better?”
His hands felt warm, even in the frigid water. My muscles started to relax as I adjusted to the temperature. His touch did something else to me, too. I may not be hung, but I was pretty sure he’d notice something poking him in the stomach before long.
“It’s the middle of summer–why is the water so fucking cold?” I asked, trying to distract myself.
“We’re on a mountain, Leo,” he said dryly.
I shoved his chest. “Asshole.”
He giggled like a little boy, then did a somersault in the water. Fuck, he was so cute and dumb. We swam there for a moment, both of us treading water in silence. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of the sun on my face. It was nice being here with him. Feeling like a kid and a man at the same time.
“You know, I was kind of disappointed.”
I opened my eyes to see him looking at me. “Oh?”
He looked nervous all of a sudden, like he was afraid of what he might say next.
“I kind of thought you might stop by after all. Last night.”
I didn’t say anything. We kept treading water, awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze.
“It’s complicated,” I said lamely.
He nodded, though I could tell my non-answer wasn’t worth shit.
I felt a pang of guilt. There was something so sweet about Elijah, so innocent. Hurting him felt like I’d kicked a Golden Retriever.
“Don’t get me wrong,” I said quickly. “I do like you. I just…”
“You don’t have to explain,” he said kindly. “You don’t owe me anything, Leo. We’re friends.”
“I don’t even know why you wanna be my friend,” I said. “It’s not like I have anything to offer anyone.”
“Are you always this hard on yourself?” he asked. “I don’t mean to like, psychoanalyze you or anything–”
“Please, go ahead,” I said dryly. “I could use some help figuring out what the hell is going on in my head.”
“I guess what I’m trying to say,” he continued, “is that obviously you’re going through some stuff. Maybe talking about it will help.”
I looked down at the water, crystal-clear and reflecting the sky above us. I felt my whole body vibrating, just like it had right before I’d come out of the closet. Like there was a secret just waiting to burst out of me.
“You know they say, if we knew everything about everyone, all would be forgiven,” he said.
I looked up at him. “You don’t think some things are just… unforgivable?”
He shook his head. “I don’t.”
I took a deep breath, then said, “Have you ever made a mistake, but like, a really big one that could destroy your whole family?”
The words came out of me all at once, like I was trying to cast some sort of spell.
He scratched the back of his head. “Uh… no.”
I nodded, disappointed. “Right.”
He gave me a moment to continue, but I didn’t.
After an awkward beat, he said, “Do, uh… do you wanna elaborate, or–?”
“I just feel like I’ve broken everything.” The words were spilling out of me again, the dam finally broken. “I thought for the longest time that I needed something to, like, fix me, or whatever. But I don’t think it fixed me. I think it may have broken me, actually.”
I laughed wryly. “And now I’ve dragged my whole family into this, and it’s all gone to shit, and I feel like a horrible person, and I think maybe it would be better for everyone if I just died or something.”
He swam over to me and grabbed my hand. “Hey… Don’t say that.”
His face was creased with worry. “Whatever’s going on can’t be that bad. You’ve got a family that loves you.”
I looked up at his sweet face, those ginger bangs now damp and sticking to his forehead.
“I know your dad,” he continued. “And I don’t think there’s anything you could do that would make him stop loving you. Your mom, either. Now my mom…” He chuckled. “I’m pretty sure I’d be out on my ass if she knew what I got up to in Guatemala this year.”
“You don’t feel bad lying to her?” I said. “Living a double life?”
He shrugged. “It’s my life. She doesn’t get to tell me how to live it.”
“What I wouldn’t give to have your life,” I said quietly. “To trade your problems for mine.”
He didn’t say anything, just stared at me sadly.
I swam closer until I felt the heat of his body against mine. “I wish I’d come to your tent last night,” I said quietly.
He swallowed, his red lips inches from mine. “Me too.”
I put my hands on his chest, smooth and bulky. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing our bodies and cocks against each other. I felt weightless in the water, being held by him. This was the kind of thing I’d fantasized about for years. Being naked with a cute boy and feeling his body against mine.
But my brain wouldn’t let me enjoy the moment. It raced from one thought to another. My mother, clueless at home. My father, naked and on top of me. The crushing weight of my family being ripped apart…
Then his lips were on mine, and the images in my head evaporated instantly. I opened my mouth to receive his tongue, wrapping my legs around his waist almost subconsciously. He held me by my ass, gently squeezing my flesh as he kissed me. It felt good being touched by him, so pure and innocent. There was no guilt in this kiss. No danger awaited me on the other side. I was just a boy, naked in a pond, kissing another boy.
His broad back felt dense and muscular under my fingers. I could feel his hardness digging into my taint, his desire dripping out of him and onto my skin. He ran his fingertips along my side, giving me goosebumps. His touch stopped at my nipple, which he gently rubbed with his thumb. My sore hole throbbed with the need to be filled, to melt into him and forget everything for once and for all.
If only I hadn’t opened my eyes.
I caught a flash of red a ways back, barely noticeable amongst the trees. It took me a second to clock it–Russell, Elijah’s father, staring at us from across the way. Then, to my horror, I saw my own father just behind him.
“Stop,” I said quickly. I pushed Elijah off me and swam as fast as I could to the ledge where I had left my clothes.
“What is it?” Elijah said. He looked around, then spotted his father and mine. “Oh, shit.”
He climbed up on the ledge after me, both of us trying to shield our nakedness from our dads as they approached.
I pulled on my shorts, shoving my underwear in my pocket for lack of time. They were already halfway across the pool, already within shouting distance. By the time the four of us were joined, I’d gotten my shirt back on, and Elijah was just pulling on his shorts.
“Boys,” said Russell. “You’re welcome to go off on your own, but we’d appreciate it if you would give us a heads up first.”
Elijah zipped his shorts, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. “Sorry, Dad. I just thought I’d show Leo–”
“What the fuck were you two thinking?” my father said angrily. “You could have gotten lost again. Do you not remember the mission trip?”
His words felt like a spanking. I gritted my teeth.
“Funny, I don’t remember you being this concerned then. Then again, you were a bit distracted.”
Dad seethed with anger. He was about to speak when Russell put a hand on his shoulder.
“Jud, let’s take things down a notch.” He turned back to me and Elijah. “Thankfully, I remembered this place from last year, so I was pretty sure where I’d find you. But Leo’s dad didn’t, so you had him worried.”
“I’m sorry,” said Elijah. “Really, Mr. Wyte–”
“You don’t need to apologize,” I said. “Pretty sure me getting lost again is exactly what Dad wants.”
“Goddammit, son–”
“Elijah, why don’t we head back?” Russell grabbed his son’s arm. “I think maybe we should give these two some space.”
Elijah followed after him, giving me an apologetic frown. “Sorry.”
I folded my arms defiantly. Dad waited until they left, then turned back to me. “What the hell is going on with you?”
“What, I can’t hang out with a friend now? Forgive me if I don’t run everything past you.”
“I didn’t know where you were,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought… I don’t know, I thought maybe you’d run away, or…”
“So what if I had? Wouldn’t you like that? Then we wouldn’t have to tell Mom, and you could go on doing whatever the fuck you want.”
Dad shook his head slowly. “We’re on a mountain, Leo. There are bears and wolves out here. You could have been killed–”
“Save it,” I said. “We both know you’re just mad I was kissing Elijah.”
“You’re wrong,” he said adamantly. “I know I don’t have the right to ask anything of you in that way. But I am still your father, and it’s my duty to protect you. That means no running off alone in the woods without telling me.”
I felt the righteous indignation drain out of me. But I couldn’t let him have the upper hand that easily.
“Can you blame me?” I whined. “I needed… I don’t know. Time. To think.”
He snorted. “And I suppose kissing that boy helps you think?”
I scoffed. “I knew it. I knew you were mad.”
“Not mad,” he said defensively. “Maybe just… jealous.”
That one took me by surprise. I smirked. “Well, maybe now you know what it feels like.”
He looked down at the ground. “Is that it, then? You’re done with me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
His eyes caught mine.
“I’m sure you could have any guy at this retreat,” I said. “Don’t think I haven’t seen muscle tits pawing all over you.”
“Who?”
I rolled my eyes. “Dicky, Dad. Go ahead, fuck him. See if I care.”
“It’s not him I want,” he said, his voice a low growl.
I felt that tingle again, like I was doing something bad. “Yeah?” I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in. “Prove it.”
His kiss overpowered me. He lifted me off the ground with no effort at all. One second, I was standing on solid earth, the next, my legs were wrapped around his waist, his strong grip squeezing my ass cheeks. I was in heat, my body craving his dominance.
He lay me down on the soft grass, covering my body with his own. His hips pressed into me. I could feel his cock snaking through the leg of his shorts as it inched its way closer to me. He kissed my neck, slipping his hand under my shirt to squeeze my chest.
“Fuck, Dad,” I moaned, holding his head against my neck.
The wet smacking sounds of his tongue filled my ears as he thrust against me, pressing me into the earth. I loved the feeling of him crushing me, being trapped under his bulk. I wanted him to control me, to take me out of my head like he had last night.
Before I’d left the tent.
“I need you in me, Dad,” I moaned.
He stopped kissing my neck and looked at me, eyes like a wild animal.
“Are you sure?”
I stripped off my shirt and flung it to the side. “Fuck me.”
He ripped my shorts off so fast he nearly tore the fabric. I expected him to raise my legs and plow home to high heaven, but instead, he grabbed me by the waist and swallowed my cock to the root.
“Oh, da-daddy…” I moaned, cradling his head with my fingertips.
He sucked me hungrily, his lips sliding up and down my cock as he swirled his tongue around the head. He felt up and down my smooth torso, his rough hands spreading goosebumps across my skin. I was never much for getting blowjobs, but his mouth felt so good, I didn’t want it to stop for anything. I wrapped my thighs around his head and pulled him closer in, shoving my stick as far into his mouth as it would go.
God, this man. My own father, someone who by all rights shouldn’t even know what I look like naked, had given me the most gratifying sexual experience of my life. And not just once–but again and again and again. I had so much cum in me from the night before that I was still leaking, but all I could think of was how desperately I wanted another load from him.
As if reading my mind, he opened his mouth, letting my drool-covered cock slide from his lips.
“Spread open for me, baby,” he said as he slid between my legs.
I did as he commanded, opening myself up to his girth. He barely had to guide himself before he was sliding past my defenses like a key inside a lock. I grabbed the back of his neck, taking deep breaths as I tried to keep myself open. Sweat dripped down his belly and onto mine. He worked his way inside me, sliding past my sore ring and sheathing himself in me once more.
“Dad,” I said, my voice shaky. “You’re in me. Oh God, YES!”
“I love you, baby boy,” he said gruffly. Then his lips were on mine.
His kisses distracted me from the slight pain that accompanied his thrusts. I was experienced enough now to know that discomfort would pass quickly, and soon enough, I felt only pleasure from his jabs. I raised my hips as high as I could, trying to take him further inside me.
“Use me,” I whispered in between kisses. “Use my body. Fuck, take me!”
He broke the kiss to wipe the sweat from his forehead, but nothing could stop him from continuing to pierce me over and over. I stared at him, in awe of his beauty, his strength, his masculinity. He locked eyes with me and grinned, a cheeky smirk that, strangely, stirred the feelings of rage I’d been wrestling with all morning.
“You like that, you prick?” I spat out.
I hit him in the chest, a weak punch that glanced off his hairy pec.
He blinked, more stunned by my words than my blows.
“Like your son’s butthole, you sick fuck? You like sodomizing your son? Breeding him?”
He slowed his thrusts, but I grabbed his ass and held him against me.
“Don’t you dare stop,” I said angrily. “You finish what you started. Fuck me, you piece of shit! Fuck me, cum inside me, make me your fucking bitch! I want it. I want it all…”
I hit him on the chest again and again, until finally he pinned my hands to the ground.
“I love you,” he said breathlessly. “I love you so much, Leo.”
He kissed me, and all my resistance melted away again. I felt my entire body relax, my limbs going limp as he rutted into me. I closed my eyes, falling back into that place outside of time and reality. Where all I could feel was pleasure and my father’s touch. My legs started to shake as I squirted all over myself, brought to the brink by his cock.
“Ohh Daddyyyyyy…”
My body went limp. My cock pulsed a few times, spilling the last of its seed onto my belly as my Dad fucked it out of me.
When he finally reached orgasm–when my body brought him to climax–he collapsed onto me, pinning me to the ground. I held him close to my chest, reveling in the incredible feeling of his cock shooting off inside me.
For a brief moment, I felt like I had the night before–beautiful, safe, free.
It didn’t last.
He rolled off of me, his seed spilling out onto the ground as soon as I came unplugged. All of the turmoil in my head, all the confusion and shame and guilt that had sent me spiraling, came crashing back in full force.
Fuck.
“We need to talk, son.”
I turned to see him lying on his side, his face pinched in concern.
“About what?” I grabbed my shirt and pulled it over my head.
“About what we’re gonna do.”
“I’ve made what I want pretty clear,” I said, slipping on his stained boxer shorts.
He sighed. “I think you should take some time and think about it. Just don’t do anything rash.”
I let out a short laugh. “You mean, like fuck my dad?”
He put his hand on my leg. “You know how I feel about you, son. But I would give it all up if that was what you wanted. I would never speak of it again. I’d give you space. As much as you’d like. I just want you to be happy.”
I sat there for a moment. “Telling Mom might make me happy.”
“And if it doesn’t?”
I got to my feet, ignoring his questions and his dumb, fatherly gaze. He dropped it, thankfully, and we headed back together.
We made the trek back to the camp in silence, him clearing a path ahead while I followed a couple of paces behind. The walk back felt way longer than the walk there.
“I bet the other dads and sons are jealous they didn’t come with us,” I said, awkwardly trying to break the tension and distract myself from this never-ending downward spiral.
Dad glanced over his shoulder and gave me a faint smile.
Fine. Whatever. Be that way, bitch.
When we got back, I felt exhausted. Everyone was milling about the camp like everything was normal, drinking sodas and playing cards like regular fathers and sons who hadn’t just made the beast with two backs.
“Leo, Jud!” Dicky got up and ran over to us, arms waving. “You boys have to join us. We’re playing Skip-Bo!”
He jerked his head over at the table where Ricky and another father-son duo were sitting.
Before I had a chance to politely (or not-so-politely) decline, he’d grabbed my wrist and was dragging me into the seat next to him.
“Leo, this is Gerhard and Klaus.”
A blond man in his mid-40s gave me a polite nod while a brown-haired boy around my age with straight bangs just stared at me.
“They don’t speak a lick of English, but they’re HILARIOUS. Right, Gerry?”
“Zum letzten Mal, so heiße ich nicht,” said Gerhard.
“Like I said–hysterical!” Dicky squealed.
He planted himself right between me and dad, then shuffled the deck and started passing out cards, explaining the rules like we were in Kindergarten.
I took my cards and stared at them, trying to distract myself from the somersaults my stomach was currently performing. I took a peek at Dad, but he seemed like he always did–perfectly cool, calm, and collected. How was it that none of this was eating him up inside the way it was me? I guess he was used to living a double life. Splitting himself in two and pretending the other half didn’t exist whenever it wasn’t convenient.
“Your turn, Leo.”
Dicky was smiling at me as if I were simple. I put down a random card just to move things along.
“Ooh, starting off strong! Love it, diva.”
“Um Gottes Willen, diese Frau ist verrückt,” Gerhard said under his breath.
The game stretched on for longer than I thought possible. Dad carried on casually with Ricky, talking about something sports-related that I couldn’t have followed any more than I could the conversation between Gerhard and Klaus. That left me and Dicky, my mosquito on steroids.
“Hey,” he whispered to me at one point in between rounds. He leaned in so no one else could hear. “I know you had some fun last night.”
I felt my blood run cold. Dad and Ricky were in the middle of a conversation while Gerhard and Klaus were sloppily trying to reshuffle the deck.
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
He smiled smugly. “I know cum when I smell it, Leo. So, who’s the lucky guy?”
My eyes flashed toward my father. I forced myself to look at the ground.
“No one,” I said, too quickly.
Dicky poked me in the ribs. “Oh, come on. Don’t be selfish, it’s so tough to find good dick at these things. I feel like I’m going through withdrawal. I need 8 inches of cock, stat!”
I shrugged. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”
Dicky frowned. “Okay, rude. I was just being friendly. I already know who it is.”
My stomach dropped. “What?”
He pursed his lips like he’d finally gotten me. “That redhead boy you’re always running off with. I don’t blame you, he’s cute. I wouldn’t mind a ride on his pogo stick, if you know what I mean.”
Now he was really starting to piss me off.
“Isn’t it, like, unprofessional of you to sleep with guys here?” I asked. “Aren’t you working or something?”
His mask fell away to reveal a surprising amount of malice. “Wow. Slut-shamed by the guy with cum running down his legs. That’s gotta be a first.”
“At least I’m the one getting action,” I said, throwing it back at him in an equally bitchy tone. “All those muscles and you still can’t get a guy to fuck you? Hm.”
“I’ve taken more dicks than Nancy Reagan,” he said smugly.
“Yet you’re desperate for my sloppy seconds.”
He glowered at me. Then a smile crept across his face as he glanced over at my father.
“You know, your dad’s pretty cute. Maybe I’ll stop by your tent tonight after hours, see if I can’t crawl into his sleeping bag and work up his appetite?”
My discomfort showed on my face, clear as day. Dicky clearly knew he’d hit the jackpot.
“Maybe I’ll be your new stepmom,” he continued. “Or maybe I’ll just make him my sugar daddy, get him to spend your college fund to pay for my jockstrap collection.”
I’d had enough of whatever the fuck this was. I got to my feet, nearly knocking my chair over in the process.
“Everything okay, son?” Dad asked.
“I’m fine. Just… need to go stretch my legs.”
“Oh, don’t go,” Dicky said teasingly. “We’re having so much fun!”
“Wer hat Spaß?” said Gerhard.
“Actually, we should wrap this up,” said Ricky. “It’s about time for Operation Sock Drawer.”
Dicky shot me a smug look, then turned to Dad and beamed. “You’re gonna love this one, Jud.”
Before I could feign illness, Ricky pulled out his megaphone. “Daddies and sons, please report to the fire pit for the next activity.”
Everyone gathered around the picnic benches where we’d shared fun facts yesterday. I tried to find an opportunity to slip away, but Dad practically dragged me along. We grabbed a seat at a table by the edge, across the way from Russell and Elijah. Elijah caught sight of me and smiled apologetically.
Ricky planted himself by the fire pit, propping one foot up on the ledge. This caused his shorts to ride up so much that I half-expected a testicle to plop out any second.
“This next exercise is my personal favorite,” said Ricky. “Now, I’m sure all you dads can agree: as a father, it feels like the years fly by just a little too quickly. One minute your little boy is playing with his Bratz doll collection, the next he’s off to college.”
He wiped a tear out of his eye. “But time passing can be a blessing, too. Operation Sock Drawer gives you a chance to look back at how you’ve grown, the changes you’ve made, the impact you’ve had on the world and the people around you. So I want everyone to take a pencil, a piece of paper, and an envelope. We’re going to write a letter–a letter to your future self.”
I heard a few of the sons groan good-naturedly.
Ricky laughed. “I know, I know. It might be a little hokey, but trust me. Write a letter to yourself five years from now. What do you think you’ll be doing? How will you be a different man from who you are today? Will you be stronger? Weaker? What would that version of you say to yourself now?”
Dicky walked around passing out supplies. He tossed mine in front of me instead of handing it to me.
“Really take your time with this exercise,” said Ricky. “Then, when you’re done, seal it up and shove in the back of your sock drawer. When you open that baby up in five years, you’ll be surprised at how much has changed.”
I picked up the blank page and stared at it for a minute. I had no idea how to begin.
“Having trouble?”
Dicky put his hands on my shoulders, leaning in to whisper so my father couldn’t hear.
“I get it. It’s tough when you peak early, isn’t it? Everything’s downhill from here.”
He gave me a condescending smirk, then strutted over to Dad. “Wow, look at that penmanship! So manly.”
Ignoring him, I put pencil to paper and started writing.
Dear me five years from now, I wrote.
I hope you’re doing well.
You’re probably killing it at… whatever it is you’re doing.
I can’t believe you’re already so rich and successful at such a young age!
Who was I kidding? I scratched everything out, the pencil nearly tearing through the paper.
The sound of raucous laughter caught my attention. Dicky stood over my father, reading his letter over his shoulder.
“That’s hilarious, Jud. You’re sooo funny!”
He gave Dad’s shoulders a friendly squeeze.
“Wow, and tense, too. Let me get that for you.”
The sight of him massaging Dad was a bit too much for me. I stared back at my paper, trying to quell the panic rising in my chest.
I put my pencil to paper and started writing again.
How does it feel knowing you’ve done nothing with your life?
The words stung, almost as if someone else was writing them. I continued.
We both know high school was a waste. You could have been studying or joining clubs like the other kids, but instead, you sat around obsessing about dick, like a lonely little incel. How did that work out for you? Did you get everything you wanted?
I wanted to stop, to scratch out the words before anyone else could see them. I kept going.
All your friends went off to college and did something with themselves, and you probably flunked out of community college. Lord knows you’re dumb enough. You’ve never had a real boyfriend, and you probably still haven’t. At least not one that lasted more than five minutes, who didn’t immediately jump into your father’s bed the second you left the room. Let’s face it: the only man you can get to love you is your own father, and even that’s probably just out of pity.
I looked over at Dad, who was chatting good-naturedly with Dicky. I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.
You’re not smart, you’re not even that attractive, so what exactly do you have to show for yourself? Nothing, how bout that! If you had any brains at all, you’d just end it now. Everyone wants you to. The only thing you had going for you was your parents, but you ruined that, too. You ruined things with Dad by fucking him. Now you can never go back from that. You ruined things with Mom because, obviously, she stopped loving you once she found out. Who wouldn’t?
What a mess you’ve made, you piece of shit. You absolutely disgusting, ugly, pathetic–
The pencil snapped in my hands.
I picked up my paper with trembling hands and tore it in half.
“Leo?”
My dad was staring at me, but I ignored him. I continued ripping the paper into quarters, then eighths. Now, even more guys were starting to stare, but I didn’t give a shit.
“Honey, what’s going on?” Dad put his hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.
I ripped the paper until it was too small for me to rip any further. Then I threw the pieces at my father, scattering them to the wind.
“Baby, tell me–”
I bolted, taking off as fast as I could toward the forest. I ignored the sound of my father calling after me, his voice tight with fear. The eyes of the other men followed me as I ran, but I ignored them too.
I ran past the trees, slipping into the forest. My dad’s voice grew quieter as I ran past trees, rocks, and bushes, not caring about the scratches on my arms and legs. Soon, all I could hear was the sound of the woods and my own ragged breaths. I didn’t know where I was going, what I was going to do. I just knew I needed to get away. Away from this hell.
It was starting to get dark now. The sun had dipped below the edge of the trees, filling the forest with a faint orange glow. I felt like Snow White fleeing from the Evil Queen, desperate for survival. But whatever I was running from couldn’t be lost among the trees. Not when the problem was planted firmly between my ears.
I was not in any kind of decent shape, so I tired of running relatively quickly. I collapsed on a mossy bank next to a tree, surrendering to the tidal wave of emotion that had been chasing me for the last 18 years of my life.
Who the fuck are you?
The words rang in my head. As much as I tried to rack my brain for an answer, nothing came.
Dicky was wrong. You didn’t peak early–you’ll never peak at all.
I wasn’t writing anymore, but even without the pencil and paper, the words didn’t stop coming.
You’ve wasted your life. Everything you’ve ever tried to do has been a complete and utter failure. Because you’re a failure. You’re nothing. No one.
I buried my head between my knees and started sobbing. I had never felt as much hatred before as I felt for myself.
Why can’t you just be normal, like Elijah or your father? Why do you have to be so broken?
The sound of footsteps interrupted my little self-pity session. I wiped my eyes and turned to face what must be my father, chasing after me as always.
I should have known he’d find me. And now he’d try to comfort me, and I would lose myself in the distraction all over again. If only it could last.
“Leo?”
It wasn’t my father, after all–Elijah came trudging through the woods, his forehead smudged with dirt. He caught sight of me, then breathed a sigh of relief.
“Dude, what the hell? Why’d you run off?”
“Go away,” I said, turning my back to him.
He kneeled beside me and put his hand on my shoulder. The warmth of his touch made me want to cry.
“Leo, just tell me what’s wrong.”
His pity made my skin crawl.
“Please, I’m worried about–”
“I don’t want to talk to you!” The words burst out of me like a gunshot.
He leaned back, his eyes wide with fear.
“I’m sorry,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I’m sorry, Elijah.”
“It’s okay–”
“I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his neck. “Just leave me, just.. Just go.”
He put his hand on my back and rubbed me soothingly. “It’s all right, Leo. Everything is gonna be–”
I kissed him before he could say any more. I didn’t want to hear empty words of comfort. I needed to feel different.
He resisted at first, making clumsy attempts to speak over my kisses.
“Leo… come on, I… let’s just talk…”
But I wouldn’t back down, refusing to sink back into the abyss.
Finally, he gave up. He returned my kiss, curling his fingers through my hair. Our bodies rocked against each other, sweaty and dirty. His grip was strong, like my father’s. I pushed away the thought and kissed him deeper, practically crawling down his throat.
He grabbed me by the hips and gently thrust against me. Even fully clothed, I could feel how hard he was for me. How he wanted me, the way a man needs a man. I reached for his zipper, fumbling around to try and pull his cock out. Soon it was free, warm and pulsing in my hand.
“Oh, fuck, Leo.” He moaned the words in my mouth.
He grabbed my waistband, pulling my shorts below my cheeks until my ass was hanging out. His cock was warm and sticky on my skin as I guided him inside me. He let out a low groan as the head of his dick slipped past my ring, his voice still muffled by my mouth. I brought my hands to the sides of his face and let gravity take me the rest of the way down. Then I put my forehead to his, holding him against me as we enjoyed the feeling of being joined together for the first time.
“Ohhhhhh…” he moaned. “Leo, you feel…”
“Say it,” I whispered.
“...Like heaven.”
Soon he was fully lodged in me, our union complete. We sat there for a moment, breathing the same air back and forth. I was struck by the thought: was this how it would have gone last night? Was I finally doing things right?
I had no idea. I didn’t care. I let desire take over as I slowly started to ride him, basking in the glow of his expression. His jaw was open slightly, his eyes glazed like a teenager staring at the television for too long. Every time I slid down, his eyes rolled back slightly, and he let out a little groan.
Fuck, it felt good to make a man feel good. To feel like I had some purpose, any purpose at all.
I leaned back, trying to find the angle I’d found with Dad the night before. There it was–that tingly feeling as his cock rubbed back and forth on that blessed little bump inside me. I was leaking through my underwear, my cock still trapped in my shorts as we fucked half-clothed.
Elijah slid his hands underneath my shirt, pulling it up over my arms.
“Your body is so beautiful,” he said as he ran his hands along my pale torso.
“Shut up,” I whispered. “Just fuck me.”
He continued to thrust inside me, slow and steady. I rested my hands on his chest, kneading his skin with my fingertips. His pecs were soft and pillowy, the dense muscle padded with doughy flesh. I rode his cock like a ship bobbing on the waves, his chest the anchor that grounded me.
My head rolled back as I blocked out every thought but the feeling of him inside me. Then I felt his mouth on my chest, his tongue circling my nipple like a slippery eel.
“Oh, daddy!” I cried out.
My eyes shot open. I cupped my hand to my mouth as if I could stuff the words back in. Luckily, Elijah didn’t seem to bat an eye–he was still softly sucking on my nipple, eyes closed. He didn’t know, couldn’t possibly fathom the idea of what really went on between Dad and me.
But we were no longer alone. Standing just a few yards away, half-hidden behind a tree, was my father.
It was all over now.
Thankfully, my hand being cupped to my mouth muffled the cry that escaped from my lips. I had no idea how long he’d been standing there, watching his son/lover get fucked by another man. His face was unreadable, a blank mask.
Elijah ran his fingers through my curls and pulled me closer. He latched his mouth onto my neck and jabbed deeper inside me. “You feel so good, Leo,” he said between kisses. “God help me, you feel so fucking good!”
I didn’t look away from my father, nor did I stop Elijah from fucking me. I stayed in the space between, acknowledging my betrayal but not ending it.
“I’m close,” Elijah moaned. “Argh… ohhhhhhhhh…”
He held me tightly, gave a few sharp thrusts, then buried himself inside me. I could feel his heartbeat racing against my chest, pulsing alongside his cock. I rested my head against his shoulder, closed my eyes, and sank into oblivion.
We sat there together for a few minutes, still joined, neither of us speaking. I didn’t want to go back. Just a few more moments, please.
“That was incredible.”
His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was enough to send me crashing back down.
My eyes started to well up with tears. I blinked them away.
He tilted my head up until I was looking in his eyes. “Are you… are you okay, Leo?”
“I’m fine,” I said as I got to my feet.
He watched me pull my shorts up. His cock was lying out of his zipper, limp and pink.
“I don’t think that’s true,” he said as he tucked himself back in and stood up. He put his hand on my shoulder. “Please, just talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Elijah. You’re a good person, you don’t… you don’t deserve to get mixed up in my shit.”
“But–”
“Please.”
He nodded in surrender. “Okay.”
He looked deflated, as if I’d fucked all the optimism out of him. He turned as if to leave, then stopped.
“No. I’m sorry, no.” He turned back, a look of anger on his face that surprised me. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to just fuck me and then tell me to go away.”
My face burned with shame. “Trust me, Elijah, you don’t–”
“I don’t trust you.”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry, but I don’t. You tell me everything’s fine, but there’s clearly something going on with you. You tell me you don’t like me like that, then you come on to me.”
“I thought I didn’t owe you anything?” My tone turned mocking. “Because we’re such good friends, right?”
“Friends don’t treat each other like this.” His words came out choked. “You can’t… It’s not fair. Toying with me like this.”
“Well, sorry to break it to you, Elijah, but that’s what I do,” I said bitterly. “I use people. You think because you’re nice and we went to Sunday school together that you’re special? You of all people should know me better by now.”
The way he looked at me finally matched the way I felt inside.
He raised his hands. “Fine. You win. Have a nice life, Leo.”
He pushed past me, leaving me alone in the forest.
Well. Not fully alone. Just one more person to get rid of.
“I know you’re there, Dad.”
The woods were quiet for a moment. Then I heard the sound of leaves rustling, and Dad was standing a few yards away from me, his face still that blank mask.
“Well, let’s hear it,” I said sarcastically.
A faint flicker of something I didn’t recognize passed across his face. “Hear what?”
I threw my hands up. “Let me have it. I deserve it! I’m a terrible son. I cucked Mom. I cheated on you. I fucked over Elijah, just because he was nice to me. Go ahead, tell me the truth.”
“The truth?”
My lip quivered. “You don’t love me anymore.”
There it was again–that look of pity I’d seen from Elijah. It made my skin crawl. I turned away.
“Why would you?” I continued. “There’s nothing about me to love. Just a sad, pathetic, shell of a person who thought–”
“That’s enough!”
The sound of anger in his voice struck me like a whip. He grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. “I don’t want to hear any of that bullshit. None of it.”
I blinked in surprise. “What–”
“You are my son, goddammit,” he said firmly, like that meant anything more than the obvious. Yet somehow, coming from him, it seemed impossibly powerful.
“You are my son, and I love you more than life itself. I know we’ve both made mistakes. We’ve hurt each other in ways that are horrible and probably unforgivable. But I’m your father. Do you really think there’s anything you could do to make me stop loving you?”
I looked at the ground, the shame threatening to overwhelm me. “But Mom–”
“Your mother would die for you,” he said sharply. “She loves you just as much as I do, in her own way. Nothing would change that. Not this, not anything.”
I scoffed in disbelief. “You don’t actually think she would forgive us?”
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen between her and me,” he said slowly. “But I know for a fact that it wouldn’t change a thing about how she feels about you. I promise you. I promise you, Leo.”
He touched my arm, and suddenly everything fell apart. I buried my face into him and cried against his chest.
“I don’t know who I am, daddy,” I sobbed. “I thought… I thought losing my virginity would… I don’t know, would PROVE something. But all it did was make me realize how empty my life really is. Nothing can fix me, I’m just broken.”
Dad shushed me, gently rubbing my back. “You’re still so young, son,” he said softly. “You don’t have to have everything all figured out. What you’re feeling is normal, I promise you.”
“Then why am I the only person who feels this way?” I asked, staring up at him with tear-filled eyes.
He smiled. “You think I’ve never felt like that? That I still don’t, sometimes? I ask myself all the time what my life would be like if things had gone another way. What I would be like. But the thing that keeps me coming back, that makes me grateful for the life I have, is you. I would do it all over again, because every decision I made led me here to you, Leo.”
I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. “I don’t… I don’t understand why you care so much about me.”
He cradled my cheek. “Because you’re you, son. I told you–you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met. You’re funny, you’re smart, so much smarter than you think you are. You just don’t see it. You can’t see yourself the way that I do, and it kills me. I wish I could show you how much you’re worth.”
I sniffled. Part of me didn’t believe any of this, thought that he was just trying to get back in my pants or keep me from telling Mom. If he was lying, then I would finally be proven right: I was unlovable.
But then he hugged me. “Let’s do it,” he whispered in my ear. “Let’s tell her together.”
The words stopped the voice in my head in its tracks. I turned to face him, hardly believing what I’d just heard.
“Really?”
He nodded. “I don’t know if it will bring you peace, but I don’t know that it won’t. I said I would do anything for you, and I meant it. So let’s do it.”
He looked at me, eyes set in determination.
“Let’s tell your mother.”
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