Cousin Calamity

I grew up in a predominantly blue-collar Catholic family back in the sixties and seventies. My father was one of thirteen children. Nine of them were male, and the other four sisters. Strangely, all four sisters lived far away, and we seldom saw them. Five of the brothers lived in the same suburb and we interacted very frequently. My mother was one of four sisters, who also lived rather nearby. Our home was like a busy train station, because my dad was a very outgoing person, and loved having family around. Although we also visited relatives, our home seemed to be the hubbub of family activity.   

Fortunately, I got on well with most of my cousins, and so I always enjoyed our gatherings. Everyone always contributed to the get-togethers, and so it was not a financial strain on my mom and dad.

As luck would have it, one of the families that did not live close by was my least favourite. Monty was my father’s slightly older brother, and his three boys were ogres that I could not abide. Joyfully, interaction with them happened no more than twice a year.

In a family of roustabouts, Monty and his mob took matters to an even grubbier level, and even his unattractive and coarse wife, who was, reviled by the entire family. Monty was into any kind of activity where men beat the shit out of one another. Having been a wrestler, he and all his boys were into and participated in contact sports.   

Shortly after, I began participating in gymnastics at the age of twelve; Monty’s motley crew visited us. To my horror, my dad insisted I perform flick-flacks and tumbles for them. From then on, all three of his sons, particularly Gerald, referred to me as ‘The Ballerina.’ Fortunately, Harold and Arthur, Monty’s other sons were not as annoying as Gerald was. Gerald was two years older than I was, and all three siblings had been born a year apart, with Arthur, the youngest, my age. 

During future visits and for the next four years, Gerald made sure that at one or another point when we were alone, he would torment me with his wrestling prowess. Much as he dominated my body, Gerald never became too carried away and was always content just playfully subjugating me. Much as I believed, that he was simply a bully, with every passing year his demeanour began to take on an almost sexual ascendancy. 

I did not enjoy his machinations, and as he matured, his body seemed to give off an ever-increasing, primal stench as his grubby hands constricted me. Masculine odours had never worried me because the men in my family never bothered with deodorants and cologne, and the smells of cigarettes, rum, and the hardworking hum were part of my daily existence. Monty’s mob, however, always took stench to a higher level.   

Shortly after I turned sixteen, I thought my life had ended when on one of Monty’s visits he invited me to join him and his boys on a camping trip.

Left with no option to refuse, because by now my parents had become suspicious that I could be gay. In their stupidity, they most probably believed that roughing it up for a week with Neanderthals might cure me.

With the camping site beyond our home, in the opposite direction from where the monstrous quintet lived, I was collected from my home. Shortly after our departure, Monty let the cat out of the bag, when he said, “We have promised your parents that we are going to make a man out of you this week.”

This comment was like a green light to six sets of arms sitting in the back of the huge truck they drove, because all three of my cousins began to ‘torment’ me in the back of the pick-up, to the delight of Monty and his Betty, my aunt.

“Take it easy with Jamie, boys,” Monty admonished with a total lack of commitment.

Thankfully, after several minutes, the boys simmered down. For the duration of the journey, I remained stuck between Gerald and Harold, the two largest oafs.

‘Oh, Jesus, this is going to be a week from hell,’ I thought to myself, surrounded by the hum of overtly masculine odour and I could not help wondering how often Monty and his tribe of reprobates showered.

When we arrived at the camping site, I saw that we would be occupying two tent-like structures. Monty and Betty would be in the one with the double bed. In the other tent, there were two three-quarter beds, and two comfortable-looking stretchers for us four boys. To my great relief, there was a separate general ablution area, which looked rather decent.

After entering our tent, Gerald took command. “Arthur, you and Harold get the stretchers, and The Ballerina and I will sleep in the beds.”

There was no protest and only a snide chuckle at the comment. Monty’s mob had often visited this place and knew the sleeping arrangements. It was obvious that my cousins had discussed this decision earlier, in respect of my far less than masculine bearing.  

 By the time we arrived, it was too late in the day for one of the many walks that lay ahead for us.

Shortly, the fire was on the go, the rustic wooden table was set with the salads that Betty had brought in their camping refrigeration unit. When the meat finally was prepared, the meal was delicious.

When we got to our tent later, I had begun to relax and I was getting into the swing of things. When we all got into our beds that evening, my cousins were all wearing scants, and I did not get a look at them naked. Nonetheless, I was, greatly impressed by all their well-developed and masculine bodies. They were hotter than I had ever anticipated, despite their below-average facial looks.

‘Maybe this week won’t be as bad as I thought,’ I ruminated as I got into bed.

Sleep shortly overwhelmed my thoughts as I drifted into oblivion.

The following day was also far better than I had expected, and Monty and my cousins’ knowledge of fauna and flora impressed me. Gerald, in particular, was very attentive towards me, and even began referring to me by my name, instead of the usual ‘Ballerina.’

That evening as we gathered around the fire, I excused myself to head off to the ablution area. As I stood at the urinal, I popped a boner. With no pressure to return to the others too quickly, after I had peed, I entered one of the toilet cubicles for a good old wank.

As I got into stride a voice from above scared the bejesus out of me. “Are you enjoying yourself, Jamie?” Gerald asked as he peered over the side of the stall, presumably standing on the toilet seat next door.

Fumbling frantically, I pulled my pants up and exited the stall to face Gerald, who had a shitfaced grin.

“We’ll discuss this later,” Gerald said before we both joined the others.

I was pleased that in the subdued light, nobody could see the flushed embarrassment on my face. I could not stop wondering, however, what Gerald would want to discuss with me about the occurrence. 

The meal was as good as the night before because Betty had visited the town close by to buy fresh produce while the men and I had been on our excursion. She did not enjoy walking in nature.

Before the evening ended, Gerald insisted on making hot chocolate for all of us, as a treat. After we consumed his offering, we all headed off to bed.

As we got into our beds, Arthur and Harold were asleep instantly.

“Wow, Arthur and Harold must be exhausted,” I exclaimed with a giggle.

“Nah… I took care of them,” Gerald remarked.

“What do you mean?” I asked, flabbergasted.

Gerald told me that he had put half of one of his mother’s sleeping tablets in each of their cups.

“Why?” I incredulously asked.

“Because I don’t want them to disturb us,” Gerald replied.

Before I could utter another, “why?” Gerald rose and stood next to my bed.

“Turn onto your side, because I want to spoon with you,” he instructed me.

Dumbstruck, I simply obeyed.

Without pause, Gerald got onto the bed and moved up close to me. A ceaseless inexorableness to his actions followed as if he was appropriating me. Along with his hand that now commence caressing my chest, I could feel his hardness pressing up against my backside. Finally, his tongue joined in as he started prodding it into my ear.

My mind was in turmoil, as this happened to me. Firstly, my childhood nemesis had just become an erotic Eros. Secondly, however, Gerald was my cousin, and so, sensual as this was, it was just fuckin’ weird.

As Gerald’s actions escalated, his caressing right hand first began tweaking my nipples, before it moved inside my underpants and began toying with my knob. Simultaneously, Gerald’s left hand guided my head and mouth toward his lips. The most incredible kissing session now ensued with me firmly in his grasp, with his cock vigorously rubbing our combined fabrics in my arse crack. 

When his demanding lips lifted a short while later, Gerald said, “I have always been crazy about you. All my torment was simply so that I could get my hands on you. I have waited a long time… And tonight I gonna fuck you long and hard.”

Given no chance to respond, his mouth again annexed my lips. As his kissing intensified, Gerald began repositioning our bodies as he moved on top of me. With both his hands, cradling my head and our mouths fused, a shrouded sword fight commenced as our scant-covered dicks frantically rubbed against one another.

A short while later, Gerald lifted and removed our underpants. In the faint light of the solar lamp still burning, I got a quick glimpse of his bushy crotch. It did not surprise me that he was uncut, a ritual not practiced in our family. Having as many cousins as I did, the boys and uncles had often seen one another naked as we growing up. It did amaze me, nonetheless, that in a family of well-endowed men, Gerald was the star performer.

Now fully naked, we once more took up where we had left off. Gerald seemed to be in no hurry.

After a long while, Gerald asked, “Do want to suck me before I fuck you?”

Overcome by horniness, I simply blurted a lustful, “Yes.”

When Gerald moved up my body on his knees, I folded my pillow double before placing it under my head. As his dick neared my mouth, I was pleased that the solar lamp was still operational. Gerald had a long thick knob that, fortunately, tapered toward the front. ‘At least I’ll be able to get half of it in my mouth,’ I thought to myself.

As I began to tug on his dick, I noticed, that despite the smaller head, the foreskin was rather tight.

“Does your foreskin retract?” I asked.

“Only, just, with a bit of effort,” he answered.

“Is it difficult to clean?” I inquired.

“I don’t,” Gerald succinctly countered.

With the enjoyable and odorous crotch pong enchanting me, I decided to let sleeping dogs lie and not encourage a musty retraction.

Shortly, my skull fucking commenced. Gerald produced an extraordinary amount of precum, which made the task far easier. Although Gerald took control of my head in both hands, he did not go hell for leather, and the blowjob was extremely enjoyable. By the time I hit the halfway mark on his dick, a lot of sludge began running down my chin. Patiently, Gerald kept pulling his dick out of my mouth, before scooping up the slobber off my chin and smearing it on his dick. It was also clear that he was on a mission to go as deep as possible into my mouth and down my throat.

Repeatedly, Gerald followed his quest, all the time encouraging me to relax and take as much cock as possible. As the thick base of his cock inched ever closer to my nose, I was amazed at my newly acquired skill. What astonished me most was despite the ever-increasing intrusion into my throat, I did not gag.     

When Gerald’s entire dick, finally disappeared in my mouth, he let out a triumphant roar, before exclaiming, “Jesus, Jamie, this is the best blowjob I have ever had… You should give Arthur a few tips because he is useless.”

Thankfully, Gerald then pulled his knob out of my mouth, because if he had not, I would have choked at that mindboggling information.

My reprieve was short-lived, because having crossed the Rubicon, Gerald now got down to business. With my throat well and truly primed, he became a voracious face-fucker.

When Gerald unloaded a short while later, the amount of cum I swallowed was like a tidal wave of jizz. If I mistakenly thought that we were done, his next move eradicated that thought as I was turned and placed on my stomach.

“I can cum three times in a row without losing my erection,” Gerald boasted in my ear as he lay on top of me, before asking, “So often have you been fucked in the arse?”

“Never,” I honestly replied.

“Wow… Jeez, Jamie, so I’m about to take your cherry?”

“Yes,” I whimpered.

“Well, so now we’ll both have something we’ll never forget,” Gerald, gushed.

Next, Gerald started spitting between my cheeks. Once he had supplied copious amounts of spit to my backside and his dick, the inevitable incursion commenced. Gerald was extremely careful to make my defloration as comfortable as possible. At a glacial pace, he very gradually entered my arse.

The discomfort was minimal, and very soon his actions became heavenly. As a steady cadence got underway, Gerald’s mouth and tongue traversed my shoulders, neck, and ears, as those grubby hands ran down my arms and eventually intertwined with my smaller fingers. The cadence of his thrusting was the most monumental and sensual experience of my life. My calamitous cousin was turning me on more than I had ever imagined possible.

After a magnificent hour of variable thrusting, Gerald unleashed his seed into me. Once we were done, he said, “Listen, buddy, I think we had better get some sleep.”

“Sure,” I answered, “But there is just one thing I would like to know, what’s up with Arthur?”

As Gerald lay next to me, he let out a chuckle, before saying, “Recently, Harold and I have taken to face-fucking Arthur… Horny men are what they are,” he concluded with a chortle.

“So, Arthur is okay with that?” I asked in disbelief.

“Well… Let’s just say that Harold and I can be very persuasive,” Gerald answered unashamedly. 

“Didn’t he tell your parents on you?” I questioned.

“No. In any case, dad caught Harold face-fucking Arthur,” he said with a giggle.

“Oh, fuck, what happened?” I asked with alarm.

“Nothing,” Gerald answered, before relating the following story.

As Arthur began bleating about his dilemma to his father, Monty told him to shut up, adding that he did not want to get face-fucked, he should have fought harder. With a chuckle, Monty then concluded, that he would rather have Harold and Gerald face-fucking Arthur, than having the family ending up with unwanted pregnancies, especially at their age.

I was so stunned, that I did not have any more to ask. As Gerald arose before returning to his bed, he issued the last straw, as he informed me that he had a suspicion that Monty had now also started face-fucking Arthur.

Gerald quickly drifted off to sleep, but my mind was in such turmoil, that I could not switch off. The last family group that I would ever have expected this kind of behaviour from, was Monty and my calamitous cousins. My mind began working overtime as I thought about all my other uncles and cousins.

The following evening, Gerald followed the same procedure, and we once again had glorious sex.

The next night, however, Gerald’s plans went awry when Arthur, unbeknownst to us, accidentally spilled his cup on hot chocolate. As Gerald began his skull-fucking ritual, Arthur appeared next to us.

I almost had a heart attack, but Gerald seemed quite calm, as he asked, “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Why should I be?” Arthur asked in a puzzled tone.

“Well for the past three nights I have put a half a sleeping pill in the hot chocolate I gave you and Harold,” Gerald matter-of-factly professed.

“Fuck… You are a selfish cunt. Well for your information… I spilled my cup tonight. Why haven’t you told Harold and me?” Arthur declared with disgust in his tone.

“Because I wanted Jamie to myself,” Gerald unashamedly stated.

“Well, that won’t be happening tonight,” Arthur defiantly answered.

“Actually… Maybe it’s a good thing that you are watching because maybe you’ll finally learn how to give a decent blowjob,” Gerald disdainfully countered, before adding, “Now watch and learn.”

Gerald now made a meal of showing Arthur how he conquered my mouth and throat. In my side vision, I saw Arthur drop his scants and commence tugging on his dick. After my initial fears, something about Arthur’s voyeurism was unbelievably erotic and stimulating. It also did not escape me, that Arthur had a great-looking cock. 

After Gerald had finally cum, he arose and addressed Arthur by saying, “Okay, cock-sucker, now it’s your turn.

In a flash, Arthur was astride my torso and offering me his dick. Although slightly smaller than Gerald’s cock, in shape it was virtually a carbon copy. With my throat now fully primed, Arthur’s knob went balls-deep instantly. The cries of elation and groans of disbelief from Arthur were fantastic.

“You see, cock-sucker, that’s how it’s done. I won’t accept any excuses from you in the future,” Gerald said, interrupting us in a commanding voice.

Taking control, I now gripped hold of the shaft of Arthur’s cock and found that, unlike his brother, his foreskin retracted easily. The musty, pissy smell did not worry me as I commenced licking his dick-head. Arthur’s reaction was priceless as he began to squeal and tremble with excitement. Unfortunately, this did not escape Gerald as he stood watching us. 

Shortly, overcome by horniness, Arthur’s dick erupted like a volcano.

Once Arthur got off the bed, I looked at Gerald who had the expression of a child, precluded from something incredible. As I watched, Gerald gripped hold of his cock, and with great effort, pulled his tight foreskin back over the glans. After mounting my torso, as his dick moved closer an overwhelming pungent smell assailed my nostrils. Like an obedient trooper, I simply began to lick his acrid cock-head.

My unpleasant task instantly bore fruit as Gerald began to shudder manically from the attention to the sensitive glans. The smell and taste soon dissipated, enhanced by the pleasure of Arthur’s mouth that had now imbibed my knob.

The pleasure of being face-fucked and having my dick sucked was incredible.

Our pleasure train then became derailed when a gruff voice suddenly said, “Oooh… Looks like we have some great family bonding happening here.”  

We had been so busy and noisy, that we had not seen Monty entering our tent.

As we all looked at him sheepishly, Monty smiled and said, “Relax, boys. There is nothing more beautiful than watching cousins showing love to one another.”

As we remained statuesque, Monty then asked, “What’s up with Harold?”

Arthur then found his voice and blurted the hot chocolate story.

“Jesus, Gerald, why are you such a selfish arsehole?” Monty asked disdainfully.

“Sorry, dad,” Gerald remorsefully replied.

“Well… Let’s hope your drug lord days are over,” Monty answered in an austere tone.

Bizarre as this all was, I had begun to relax slightly. With no imminent threat in the air, I started focussing on Monty. Like all his boys, although he was unattractive, it was clear that they had inherited his manly physique. He was larger than my cousins were and had a substantial gut, but there was nothing flabby about him and his bulkiness looked rock-solid. As I looked at the front of his boxer shorts, I wondered what they would reveal.

As we all stared at Monty in our frozen state, he casually sat on Gerald’s bed next to us and said, “Well, seeing we have no television, let’s see how entertaining you guys can be.”

Gingerly, Gerald once more began inserting his smelly pacifier into my mouth, and Arthur recommenced sucking my dick. In my peripheral vision, I could see the salacious escalation on Monty’s face, as the lustful cacophony before him grew in volume. Shortly, his rough tradesman’s right hand started lustfully rubbing the front of his shorts. Monty’s left hand then began circling his stomach, stopping frequently to tweak one or other of his nipples.

Not long after, Monty stood and pushed his boxers down. As he sat down again, unfortunately, his gut obscured the full splendour of his dick. What was clear, however, was that whatever he was tugging on seemed to be a handful.

On our bed, things were reaching boiling point, and soon Gerald again came in my mouth as I unloaded into Arthur’s mouth. Afterward, Arthur and Gerald moved away from the bed.

As I lay there, Monty stood up and moved closer to me. Looking down at me, he said, “You know, when we visited you and you did all that gymnastic shit, I always got a hard-on. I am sure some of your other uncles also felt the same way. There are things I could tell you about some of my brothers, but I won’t.” After a pause, he then continued, “Your dad was always the boring one and never messed around… He is just too fuckin’ straight-laced.”

Monty now let out a chuckle before resuming. “I have always believed that boys will be boys. Fuckin’ around with sisters, female cousins, and nieces is not a good idea. The consequences are too dangerous, but, with no ovaries to worry about, who gives a fuck when boys can have some fun? As long as they are sixteen or older.”            

“You should see how great Jamie sucks cock, dad,” Gerald proffered, as I glanced at Monty’s upgraded version of Gerald’s dick.

Without further conversation, Monty got on the bed and straddled my body. It took some manoeuvring to prepare for my next, skull-fucking given the size of Monty’s gut, but soon with the top of my head shrouded by his large stomach, Monty anchored himself on the back of the headboard. Monty was not as gentle as both his boys were. The additional weight pummelling my head also proved to be rather taxing.

Strangely, however, the extra strain my mouth was taking and his large flopping balls slapping against my throat, excited me incredibly. Additionally, battling for air seemed to enhance the stimulation enormously. Unlike Arthur and Gerald, Monty was oblivious to youthful tentativeness and thrived on total domination.

In the melee taking place, and the ever-escalating noise level as Monty grunted, and Arthur and Gerald robustly egged him on, Harold awoke. After drowsily joining his brothers in a state of bewilderment, Harold got up to speed about what was happening. This was all unseen by me.  Harold and Gerald almost came to blows, but thankfully, Arthur was able to calm them down.  

After my most almighty face-fucking ended thus far, and in the biggest waterfall of jizz to date, Harold demanded that he was next. Sated on spunk, I watched as the next cock approached my mouth. By now, my throat could accommodate a sixteen-wheeler truck.

What set Harold apart from his siblings was that he was a grinder. His dick was on par with Gerald, but once he was balls deep, his hips ground his cock in my mouth, with me frequently reminding him I needed oxygen. The heady crotch smell, in keeping with his clan, and the lashing of sperm Harold spewed was fantastic. 

Afterward, four sets of eyes scanned my body before Gerald announced that I needed to turn onto my stomach. Disappointingly, no kissing had taken place thus far. I presumed that in one another’s company, the men believed that was simply too gay.

To my surprise, Arthur was up first for my butt-fucking session. From the get-go, Arthur seemed to be in heaven and grunted animated throughout. Any concerns I had about our noise levels got annulled by Monty’s mention that apart from sleeping pills, Betty always slept with earplugs, to negate his bad snoring.

After Arthur had cum, grinding Harold fucked me. During his stint, laughter broke out when Monty mentioned that the salsa lessons Harold’s girlfriend had insisted he take had obviously paid off.

When Gerald took his turn, I wondered if any kissing would take place. It did not. His penetration, however, was harder and more dominant, having no doubt picked up pointers from his father.

Monty then took the top spot, as he pounded my backside mercilessly. After a severe spearing, Monty roared as he unloaded into me.

Much as I had enjoyed the evening, I was exhausted as the party broke up and everyone got into bed. Before doing so myself, however, I had to visit the toilets.

Upon my return to the tent, it sounded like all my cousins were soundly asleep. When I was about to drift off to sleep, a body slid into bed next to me.

“Hi, it’s Arthur. I’m going to fuck you again.”

I giggled inwardly that at no point anyone had ever given me a choice thus far. Not that I cared.

As I lay on my back, Arthur got on top of me and began passionately kissing me. Tired as I was, this was worth the sleep deprivation. Not only was he a brilliant kisser, but his ardency was spectacular. I was not under any delusion about the happenings thus far, but it felt like Arthur was making love to me.  

I was sad that no verbal interaction took place, for obvious reasons, but his excited murmurs were wonderfully gratifying. Arthur turned me onto my side and lifted my leg over his legs before entering me. The sensuality of his mouth traversing my neck and face was spectacular. In addition, as he slowly fucked me, his hand fondled my cock and balls erotically.

After we had both finally cum, he once more got on top of me and continued kissing me for several minutes. When Arthur finally departed, I wished I could have shared my bed with him all night long.

The following morning was very amusing. As all the men joined Betty who had begun to prep our breakfast, she turned up her nose and said, “Jesus, you guys stink. I think it is time for all of you to take a shower.”

Giggling like naughty schoolchildren, the five of us headed off to the ablution area. Once there, we all had our morning constitutionals, before heading to the showers. As the nozzles began spaying water, laughter broke out when we all got erections. Although the campsite was not very busy, we consensually decided that we had to be cautious. Because of Gerald’s hot chocolate indiscretion, as retribution, Monty decided that he should shower quickly, and take up station as our sentry at the entrance. Gerald was not happy but had no say in the matter. Monty instantly had me kneeling on the floor with his cock heading for my mouth.

“We’d better be quick, or Betty will have a shit-fit,” Monty exclaimed.

As Monty face-fucked me, Harold and Arthur tugged on their cocks. My head propelled back and forth, as my mouth rotationally moved from one to the other man’s dick. It was a frenetic scene.

Not long after, with my head held back, all three men unloaded all over my face. Not to be excluded, Gerald who had been wanking as he acted as our sentry also rushed over and made a deposit. 

That evening, once we were all sure that Betty was in la-la land, all hell broke loose in our tent. Arthur set the tone by passionately kissing me as the action was about to commence. To my elation, this triggered a snogging festival, not only with me but also between all the men. For the following hour, the bed undulated. Bodies writhed and pounded in an orgiastic, and orgasmic melee, of intercourse.

Although none of us was well versed in man-to-man action, it was as if a deviant imp was compelling us to unimaginable new avenues of gratification. Apart from kissing, ardent body and armpit licking, rimming soon followed. When I began rimming Monty, I thought he was going to explode from the thrill of pleasure.

When the evening, ended, both my orifices were overflowing with spunk. As I was about to drift off to sleep, Arthur again crept into my bed.

The next morning, Monty, unprompted by Betty, suggested another shower session, which replicated the previous day.

Sadly, that night would be our last evening, and all the men made sure it would be memorable. The session lasted so long that even Arthur was too exhausted for his follow-up ritual.

As we drove home the following day, Monty invited me on their next outing. He even went further to say, that, as I had never been to their home, it was high time I did so.

I gladly accepted both proposals.

The following Saturday I got a surprise phone call from my uncle, Curly. Curly, dad’s older brother was several years older than my father and all his children had left home by now. The irony of his nickname was that as a young man he had a mop of curly hair, but was now completely bald.

Curly was the only brother in the family, who had a swimming pool. Sadly, although he lived close by, he was married to a bitch who thought she was better than everyone else was. Gertrude, the bitch, seldom visited our house. She was also infamous, because our entire family was practically, never invited to use their pool.

Curly informed me that Gertrude and her friends were out for lunch and a movie thereafter, before inviting me to join him for a swim. I was intrigued as I made my way to his house because this had never happened before.

After he opened the door and invited me in, he said, “Monty told me you guys had a lovely holiday together.”

“Yes,” I demurely answered.

“Great… So why don’t we pick up where you guys left off,” Curly replied as he pushed his shorts down, revealing another spectacular family cock.