BritDog

Confusion

Friday

Donna had been planning the surprise since choosing the fabric for her wedding dress. She was frustrated and impatient at Tony’s reluctance to set a date for their wedding so had taken matters into her own hands.

The morning after she had spent the evening looking at fabric samples with her mum she drove to church to keep a hastily arranged appointment with the vicar. The Reverend Barry Knowles was a young, enthusiastic minister who had taken up the post of vicar at St. John’s a little over a year ago. There had been some disquiet amongst his congregation at the fact that he was married to another man and several older, more conservative members had chosen to take their worship elsewhere. In truth, they were not missed, given the way they had held the church back for years, blocking any initiative that might have brought new, younger people into their flock. Many took their departure as a sign that God wanted them to reach out and be more inclusive. The results of their new openness and commitment to welcoming everyone, without bias to their ministry had been a three fold increase in numbers attending church each Sunday and a new vibrancy in outreach in the community. A new coffee shop at the back of the church had proved to be particularly popular and the summer fete had been a spectacular success, allowing the work to repair and restore the church’s Norman tower to begin.

Unsure as to how she had felt about a “Gay Vicar”, Donna had at first been reserved in her welcome for Barry but his easy going manner and acceptance of others and their weaknesses as being human had won her over. Although she was still unable to get Tony to attend regularly he had at least agreed to accompany her once a month ……. It was a start!

It was a bright, late Autumn day with a crystal blue sky and a yellow sun bleeding over and into as many nooks and crannies it could find, illuminating many for the last time before winter settled in. It was chilly too and the church was never the warmest place in the world even when full with the old boiler panting all the heat it could generate into the large iron radiators. Barry was arranging something on the alter when Donna found him. He welcomed her with a hug then led her into the vestry for a cup of tea. She told him of her plan to book a date for the wedding and to surprise Tony with it the following day, Friday.

Barry was concerned. He had no proof, just an instinctive feeling that all was not well with Donna’s relationship with Tony. Everyone round them told him what a lovely couple they made and how they were looking forward to their wedding day. The whole congregation was excited with, to his eyes, the worrying exception of the groom to be and Donna’s mother. The former took on the appearance of a rabbit caught in headlights at the mere mention of “wedding” while the latter refused to be drawn on the subject muttering only that ‘time will tell’, and other such platitudes.

Over a rather too strong cup of tea – Barry liked “builder’s tea”, strong enough to rot the spoon – he listened as Donna set forth her plans for the big day; who she had chosen as Bride’s-maids; what flowers she wanted through out the church; the hymns to be sung; the suits the bridegroom and best-man would wear; the horse drawn carriage she would arrive in as a maid and leave in as a married woman; the size and splendour of the expected reception. Money was clearly no obstacle in her perfect, fantastic vision for her “perfect” day. The more she spoke and the more excited she became, the more anxious Barry became. He interrupted Donna as she paused in her description of the increasingly grandiose affair to take a rare breath.

‘Don’t you think it would be best to discuss all this with Tony? He may want something more……shall we say, simpler?’

‘Oh no. He leaves all of this sort of thing to me.’ A furrow of concern creased her girl-like brow. ‘Besides, every time I mention it he changes the subject.’ She giggled nervously, ‘anyone would think he doesn’t want to get married.’

Barry decided to put both feet firmly in the mire. ‘Are you absolutely sure he does?’ Panic filled the pretty face before him and tears welled up in the startlingly blue eyes. ‘You are still both very young.’

‘Of course he wants to marry me. We’ve been planning it for ever. He knows I want to and he’ll do anything for me.’ The spoilt, petulant daughter of an over indulgent father was suddenly sat opposite him. Her face twisted into something unpleasant, her eyes became steel blue and half closed, her mouth, previously soft and inviting was suddenly thin, white and hard. Her nostrils flared and her voice became harsh,  quietly spitting out her next sentence, staccato like. ‘He – will – do – as – he – is – told.’ Within a moment her face was back to portraying its soft, pretty, innocence. The harpy briefly revealed having been firmly put away.

Barry knew it was pointless to argue with Donna given her state of mind and decided to speak to her mother as soon as he was able. So a provisional date was set, Barry at least getting Donna to agree that she would confirm it once she had spoken to her betrothed. When they parted, the bride to be was humming happily to herself and bounced down the aisle with a spring in he step; the man charged with conducting the ceremony in the eyes of the God he loved and trusted, returned to the alter, stood quietly and began to pray for guidance.

…………

The gym looked quiet, not unusual for a Friday night as most people either stayed at home preparing for the weekend after a busy week at work or joined friends for a drink at their local pub. Tony always enjoyed this night of the week as he pretty much had the weights and fitness room to himself and it was very unusual to find anyone else in the pool. He was able to relax and not worry about being noticed as he checked out the men around him.

He arrived early, and as he waited for Grahame he sat in his car allowing himself time to look back over the last forty eight hours.

Thursday had been a difficult day for him after the upset of the night before. He was certain now that he was gay but this certainty led to other, equally uncomfortable thoughts and difficult decisions. First and foremost was his relationship with Donna. He was not looking forward to telling her he couldn’t marry her and why. He had known her too long not to know what to expect from her. There would be tears, threats, pleading, anger – any number of emotions once she realised her dream of the perfect wedding to the perfect man that would begin their perfect life together had come screaming to a halt in what could only be described as a major car-crash!

Then there was his own family. He had no idea how they would react. He feared he would be ostracised by his father, become the not spoken about black sheep. His mother, as always would do as she was told by her overbearing husband.  He had no worries with regards to his older sister, Susan. They were very close and thinking back he realised she had known long ago that he wasn’t what he was pretending to be. Certain things she had said over the years and the occasional knowing look she gave him coalesced. She would not be surprised at his coming out.

And what about his friends and work colleagues? As the day passed he pushed the worry about the reaction of the other people in the office to one side. They were outside his social circle and all he needed from them was that they continue to work with him. He did not need their approbation.

He had few friends, all of them acquired whilst with Donna. He did not expect any support or understanding from them.

When he hadn’t been worrying about what other people would think of him once his sexuality became public property, he had been unable to get Grahame out of his head. It wasn’t just the memory of how his firm, muscular body had felt against his when he supported him in the shower, although that was a very strong almost physical feeling that ensured his cock stayed hard most of the day. He was constantly replaying their conversation in his head and remembering little things about him that he would not normally have allowed himself to acknowledge, let alone see and admit to. The way his hair fell over his forehead and was absent mindedly brushed back. The thick blackness of Grahame’s hair, the temples just starting to show traces of grey making him look both handsome and sophisticated. His hands……..he loved those hands and tried to imagine what they would be like on his body.

Then guilt, shame, anger, confusion. Every emotion he had fought with his entire life would overwhelm him like a mighty wave dragging him back to the despair of the ocean’s depths after he had glimpsed the safe shallows and golden beach he knew he craved but was afraid to swim to.

He was on the edge of falling into the depression he had fought against for years, only his anti-depressants keeping it at bay. He understood why Churchill had called it his “black dog”. On days like these he could feel it sniffing at his heels.

He had slept little on Thursday night, tossing and turning thanks to the turmoil raging inside him. Should he meet Grahame and leave all he knew was safe and secure behind him for a future he was uncertain of or should he stay away, continuing the life he now knew he despised. No, it wasn’t his life he despised it was himself for the weak, cowardly way he lived it.

By morning his mind was made up. He was going to the gym and he was going to begin a new life. His resolve faltered during the day as the hours went by and he almost cried off after speaking to Donna on the phone to confirm he wouldn’t be seeing her tonight as he was going to the gym. He hated lying to her. After he hung-up he thought how many times he had lied to her over the years. Little lies like how much he liked a new dress she had bought, or how much he was looking forward to their wedding, to big lies. Lies like: ‘I love you’, or: ‘of course I enjoy sex with you’, or thinking of other men when he was inside her to make himself come.

During the day, more than one work colleague asked if he was feeling well, pointing out how erratic and moody he was being. At three in the afternoon his boss had told him to go home and get a good weekends rest ready for the following week. He had reluctantly acquiesced, not really wanting to leave the safety of the office for the unknown that lay ahead.

He had bathed, tried to read a book, attempted a light snack to see him through till dinner later, and promptly threw up within minutes of eating it.

He wasn’t sure how he had ended up sitting in his car outside the gym waiting for Grahame to arrive. He was sweating from a combination of nerves and  anxiety. He was about to start the engine and drive home when he saw Grahame’s car pull into the parking space in front of him. He held his breath as he watched him get out and retrieve his gym bag from the back seat. Grahame locked his car, a Range Rover, and gave it his usual appraising look before turning towards the gym’s entrance. Someone calling his name brought him to a halt and he turned to see Tony running towards him, tears streaming down his face, with an incongruous smile stretching from ear to ear. He dropped his bag just in time to catch the excited, distraught young man in his strong arms. He pulled him into a close hug as Tony threw his arms around his waist, burying his face in the nape of his neck. Neither man saw the metallic blue Ford Fiesta parked a hundred yards down the road. It was just another parked car.

It’s occupant saw them. Saw the handsome young man collapse like a love struck teenager into the arms of the distinguished looking older man. Saw the two men hugging, the younger of the two pressing his mouth to the neck of the older. Saw the gentle kiss the two men shared before the older man led his young lover into the gym.

No one heard the anguished scream that seared the tortured mouth before the figure behind the wheel slumped forward sobbing and shaking in disgust and unalloyed anger at what she had just witnessed.

…………

Grahame had been taken by surprise by the reception he had received from Tony. He had expected him to be nervous, perhaps even a little excited. He was certainly not prepared for the emotional young man who not only threw himself into his arms but insisted on kissing him in full view of any one who happened to be looking. It had taken him a couple of minutes to calm Tony down before he was able to lead him into the gym.

They took adjacent lockers which allowed them to look each other over as they undressed and put their gym gear on. Grahame noted again how smooth and relatively hairless Tony was. His shoulders were broad, his waist narrow. Every muscle was defined with the pectorals, lats, stomach and thighs being especially beautifully perfect. The V of his upper body pointed to the faint treasure trail that led to the tidily trimmed pubic hair at the base of a clearly half erect penis. Grahame chuckled as Tony removed his briefs allowing his thick manhood to bounce free. ‘Looks like someone’s happy to night.’ He nodded towards the rapidly growing cock. Tony blushed and smiled shyly.

‘He’s been up and down all day. Every time I thought of you.’ He spoke softly.

‘Remember Tony we only arranged to meet for the gym and dinner. Nothing else needs to happen. I’m not expecting anything else.’ Tony looked up at him from where he sat on the locker room bench. The thought struck Grahame that he looked boyish and naïve as he nervously twisted his jock strap in his fingers and looked up through his long eyelashes. Confusion was still evident in the clear blue eyes but there was also some acceptance there too.

‘I know Gray, but if you want to, you know…….? Well, I think I’d like to try.’ Panic crossed Tony’s face. ‘If that’s okay? I mean I’m not assuming that you ………. Oh fuck.’ His head fell forward and Grahame could tell Tony was fighting back more tears. He sat down next to him and put an arm round his broad shoulders, feeling goose-bumps caress his body at the touch. It reinforced the feelings of attraction and downright lust he felt for the beautiful young man. But however much he desired Tony he knew he had to be careful. One wrong move and he would set back their friendship which frankly was more important to him than the thought of burying his cock in the young man’s perfect arse. He had thought long and hard about what he hoped for from Tony and had decided that being a friend to him was much more important to both of them right now than jumping into bed with each other.

‘Let’s just take things slowly. Gym first, then if you still want to I’ll take you to dinner and we can get to know each other a little better. If anything else happens then ……..’ he paused as Tony lifted his head and looked into his eyes, smiling. He brushed the back of his hand across a dimpled cheek. ‘Well if anything does happen it would be nice. But let’s be friends first. Okay?’ Tony nodded and visibly relaxed. Grahame laughed playfully as he pointed at the half erect cock between Tony’s legs, ‘Although I should warn you that if you don’t put that monster away now, I will not be responsible for my actions.’

Tony laughed with him. ‘What? You jealous old man?’

Grahame cuffed him on the back of the head, ‘I more than measure up to you sonny-Jim, and less of the old.’ Standing, he pushed his Calvin Klein trunks down and off revealing a neatly trimmed bush atop a dick that hung thick and long over a set of heavy balls. The chrome cock ring he was wearing pushed his tackle up and forward. Tony’s eyes widened and he reached out to touch the mesmerising sight. Grahame gently took hold of Tony’s hand, preventing contact with his thickening penis. ‘Gym first, then dinner. Right?’

A smile of resignation settled on the handsome face of his young friend. ‘Right. I’ll be patient. But Gray – I know I’m gay. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but I am and I know I want to touch you.’

‘And that is why we are going to take things slowly.’ He changed the subject. ‘

And what’s with this “Gray” thing? I haven’t been called that since school.’

‘I like it and it suits you. You’re my Gray now. My friend Gray.’ Tony looked so young and vulnerable right then that it took all of Grahame’s self-control not to take him in his arms. He felt the need to protect the fragile youth in front of him, a feeling he hadn’t experienced for a very long time. He wondered who was the most confused between the two of them, at the same time knowing he couldn’t let Tony see the conflicting emotions he felt if he was to retain his trust.

The next hour was spent in companiable physical effort as they worked out together encouraging and helping each other. They learned that they had reached the point in their friendship where they could playfully mock and take the Michael out of each other without causing offence. Tony was particularly good at this, his humour being quicker and less subtle than that of the older man. The workout also gave them a legitimate reason to be physically close and to touch each other. Tony particularly liked it when Grahame spotted for him on the bench-press, his open thighs directly above him as he lay on his back. The bulge of his jock-clad manhood was clearly visible as Tony lay there looking up the leg of Grahame’s shorts. He took his time completing his lifts and even managed a couple more than usual as he concentrated on the erotic sight above him. He didn’t notice his own cock getting hard as he imagined reaching up and fondling his friend’s bulge.

‘Someone’s excited.’ Whispered Grahame not wishing to draw anyone else’s attention to the very obvious hard-on being sported by the young hunk. ‘Looks good.’

‘Yeah,’ came the reply. ‘I can see how much you like it from here.’ He playfully ran his hand up the inside of Grahame’s thigh stopping just below the edge of his now tenting shorts.

Grahame squatted down and brought his face close to Tony’s, his warm breath eliciting a quiet moan from lips wanting more than air moving over them. ‘As much as I want to take this further, and if you are ready, I really do want to take this further,’ Grahame whispered,  ‘I booked the table for nine o’clock so we need to get a move on.’ He ran a finger down the tightly muscled arm of his would be lover then stood and headed for the shower. ‘Come along young man, you can wash my back for me if you’re a good boy.’

Tony jumped to his feet, grabbed his balled up towel and laughing, ran after him.

…………

The metallic blue Fiesta was still parked outside the gym as the two men exited it having taken as much time and as many risks as they dared whilst showering.

Tony had marvelled at the feeling of another man’s firm, well exercised body under his hands as he used the excuse of washing Grahame’s back to explore arms, shoulders, buttocks and armpits. For a few minutes, taking advantage of there being no one else in the locker room or shower he had trailed his fingers down and then into the inviting crevice between the older man’s muscular arse cheeks, finding the entrance to his love chute, brushing and pushing his finger against it, forcing a very vocal growl from between Grahame’s clenched teeth.

‘Do you like that old man?’

‘What do you think?’ answered Grahame as he turned to face his assailant, his thick, very hard cock smacking against the younger man’s equally erect penis.

Tony’s eyes widened as he looked down at the substantial weapon pointing at his groin. ‘Fuck me Grahame, that’s a bloody huge!’

‘I’ve seen bigger. And you’re not exactly small yourself are you?’ He stroked along the length of the beautiful rod, from balls to tip, smiling as Tony shuddered in response, his dick jumping and flexing as the hand travelled along it. ‘Perfect,’ he murmured, ‘absolutely perfect.’ Putting his hands on Tony’s waist he spun him round and began to lather shampoo into his blonde locks, his hands firm and controlling. Hair washed, a kiss on the neck was followed by firm hands moving over young shoulders, down the wide V to the trim hips and pert bum. Working shower gel over the glorious specimen of manhood before him, Grahame thanked God for his good fortune. As Tony had done with him, so Grahame allowed himself the pleasure of exploring the arse he was hopeful he would be fucking before the night was over, a hope that rose when the young stud’s legs sagged and a groan of pleasure and want filled the shower room as he gently pushed the end of his finger into the warmth of the virgin fuck tunnel.

Little was said as they dried off and dressed, each openly looking at the other. The electricity of sex crackled between them. Eyes were filled with anticipation and lust. Lips were pink and ripe, wanting to be kissed.

As they headed out to the street Tony leaned in and whispered, ‘Can we skip dinner and, well……….you know…….’

Grahame threw his arm over Tony’s shoulder pulling him closer. ‘We could,’ he teased, ‘but I’m bloody starving and I’ve a feeling I might need the energy food will provide for the rest of the night.’ He gently bumped their heads together. ‘Leave your car here, we’ll come and get it tomorrow. It’ll be safe.’

They walked to his Range Rover, got in and drove off.

The metallic blue Fiesta followed at a safe distance. Cold, determined hatred and revenge filling the heart of the young woman driving it.

…………

Grahame drove them to the west of town where the more affluent members of the population lived. The small, and exclusive high street that served the area was filled with boutiques, a beauty salon, two coffee shops and an assortment of up market restaurants. They parked outside a small, discreet Chinese restaurant that was set slightly apart from it’s competition. Tony had read about it in one of his Mum’s fancy middleclass Country Life type magazines and was impressed by the fact that Grahame had secured a table. The rather pompous publication had stated there was a two to three months wait for anyone hoping to sample it’s excellent, Michelin starred fare.

The minute they were through the door a small and very elderly man rushed up to them. Taking Grahame’s hand he began to rapidly pump it up and down, all the while chattering away in Chinese. To Tony’s amazement, Grahame replied in the same language holding an obviously friendly conversation with what he would learn was the restaurant’s owner. They were led to the back of the restaurant to a table hidden away behind a stunning carved wood and silk screen. A small alcove had been created that gave privacy to anyone seated there.

Grahame turned to Tony. ‘Allow me to introduce Mr Ng.’ The old man gave him his best, almost toothless smile. His face radiated warmth and goodwill, immediately putting him at ease. Releasing Grahame’s hand he took hold of Tony’s. He looked him up and down, chuckled, said something to Grahame in Chinese that made him blush then spoke to Tony in perfect, public school English.

‘Welcome to my restaurant Tony. It is a pleasure to meet you and to finally see my good friend Grahame dining with an attractive man.’ It was Tony’s turn to blush. Mr Ng went on, ‘You are a very lucky man. Grahame is very, very special.’

‘Th- thank you,’ Tony stuttered.

Once seated at their table, service was discreet and professional. Grahame ordered for them both and as dish after dish of the most delicious food he had ever eaten was placed in front of him, Tony discovered more about his dining companion. He was thirty nine years old, soon to reach the big four-0. He was a food and restaurant critic for a daily newspaper and several monthly periodicals which explained how he had been able to secure reservations for them at the town’s most exclusive eatery.

‘That’s why I spend as much time at the gym as I can,’ Grahame explained. ‘I’d be the size of a very over weight house if I didn’t exercise away all the calories I’m forced to eat!’

Their evening was relaxed, with both men making small, intimate gestures towards each other. Tony touched Grahame as often as he could, becoming more confident and secure in his desire for the attractive man sitting opposite, while Grahame took enormous pleasure in feeding Tony favoured morsels from the table with his fingers. The action became more sensual as the evening went on. Each time Tony sucked sauce from Grahame’s finger tips or gently ran his teeth over them, his cock surged inside his jeans. By the end of their meal, both men had come to realise their common goal, and neither was prepared to be patient any longer. It was always going to be Grahame who made the final move but he did so gently and with a tenderness that belied the aching passion he felt.

A silence fell between them as locked eyes conveyed far more than words ever could. Grahame placed his hand over Tony’s and slowly rubbed it with his thumb sending shivers of longing up his arm. As hard as Tony was before the intimate contact he felt himself swell to almost painful erection. A quiet, lustful moan escaped his invitingly parted lips. Grahame smiled.

‘You too huh?’ He increased the pressure from his thumb. ‘Would you like to come back to my home? It’s a five minute walk away.’

Without the slightest doubt or hesitation Tony accepted Grahame’s offer, fully aware that he was crossing a bridge he could never return to. Once committed to the new road he was travelling there was no going back. He knew now he was gay and that he wanted nothing more than to feel Grahame’s firm, manly body making love to him.  To continue to pretend otherwise would be both foolish and damaging, not just to himself but to others around him. Especially Donna. She deserved something better than a sham marriage to a man who would constantly be wishing he had taken an alternative path.

Grahame paid for their meal then led Tony outside. Turning right as they left the restaurant they walked hand in hand to a quiet road a hundred yards away. Grahame’s house was an large, detached Victorian villa, typical of many in the area. A large front garden was laid to block paving with neat, well-tended flower beds. It was clear from the outside that a great deal of time and money had been spent renovating the aging building, an impression that was enhanced by the Aston Martin parked on the drive. Tony ran his hand over the sensuous, almost muscular lines of the beautiful car. ‘Wow. Nice.’

‘She’s my one indulgence.’ Grahame moved behand Tony as he continued to admire his pride and joy. He slipped his arms round the slim waist and pulled the two of them close, pressing his still achingly hard cock into the firm mound of his inviting arse. ‘So far.’

Tony pushed back against him. ‘So could I be your second? Indulgence I mean.’

Grahame nuzzled Tony’s neck where it met his broad shoulder. ‘I know what you meant, and yes I think you probably could.’ He ran his tongue upwards, from collar bone to jaw bone eliciting a loud groan from his new lover. ‘Would you like that? To be mine and only mine?’

Without a moments hesitation Tony leaned his head back, exposing his throat to Grahame’s hungry mouth. ‘Yes. I’d like that a lot.’ Teeth bit into him as lips sucked his flesh leaving a mark that told the world he was taken. The sensation was overpowering and Grahame found himself holding Tony up as his legs gave way. ‘Oh God. Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Don’t stop. Oh fuck……..’

Grahame couldn’t help himself and he bit deeper, sucked harder. He ran his hand down and cupped Tony’s straining erection through his jeans, squeezing it as he tasted the rawness of him. Tony cried out in passion his hand grabbing a handful of Grahame’s hair. He pulled his mouth off his throat then twisted round. He found the released lips with his and plunged his tongue deep into the hot mouth.

A scream shattered their passion and split the night asunder. The scream became a screech, a keening, frightening sound that hurt their ears.

It emanated from a figure standing in the road, just discernible in the shadows. Doubled over as though in great physical pain, the figure staggered towards them. As it entered the light Tony whimpered and ran toward it. ‘Donna!’