Closed Doors

He entered the bedroom through the bathroom door, his hair wet and his bare muscles glistening. The only fabric that shielded his natural body was his black Calvin Klein boxer briefs, perfectly wrapped around his waist, showcasing his firm ass.

It wasn't the first time I saw his sculpted figure. Almost every day for the last three years, I watched my step-brother Nathan enter the bathroom and come out showered. Sometimes in a tank top, other times in plaid pajamas, and today in a pair of boxer briefs. Although the amount of skin he showed each day varied, I still hadn't caught a glimpse of his naked body.

In my fantasies, though, he would come towards my bed, staring me up and down with emerald eyes and kiss me. I'd tear off any clothing he'd be wearing, revealing a glorious cock the size of my face.

In my other fantasies, I was the dominant one, the one who restrained the boy and relentlessly fucked him until he couldn't take it anymore, or I came. Not with Nathan though. I pictured him as the dominant one, but not in the traditional sense.

He, knowing I was a virgin, would take things slowly with me rather than fuck me aggressively. I knew by the way he talked about sex that he viewed it as more of a passion than merely a pleasure.

It was about two years ago today when Nathan came home, telling me how he lost his virginity to his girlfriend, Victoria. I had never seen him so happy. He told me that morning that when he came home that night, he'd be a new man. “See you then,” he said confidently, as he took out a condom, waving it in the air before leaving our room.

When he came a little later than usual, I heard yelling between Nathan and his father, Joe. I couldn’t hear much, but I remember hearing Nathan telling Joe that he was no longer a child and deserved his personal freedom.

After the fighting and screaming dialed down, I heard his familiar breath and footsteps crawl up the stairs. “So, how was it?” I asked him as he shut the door behind him. The question ravaged any frustration he had before. “Amazing,” he answered, a full smile covering his face.

He spread his arms as wide as possible and crashed onto his bed. “Tell me more,” I said, eager to know the full story. He repositioned his body, facing me. “Well, I brought it up while we were watching a movie. She was cuddled up against me and I couldn’t handle the temptation any longer. I pulled out my condom and told her I was ready. We made our way to her bedroom and things just sorta happened,” he explained.

“About time. Remind me, how long has she been trying to get into your pants?” I teased. He let out a sigh. “Very funny Jackson. I wanted to make sure I was ready, you know? I wanted to make sure whoever I was doing it with cared for me the way I cared for them. I didn’t want it to be with some random chick. I know I've been with Tori for so long now, but that night she went mad, it made me question our relationship. We’re solid now though and I don’t regret tonight at all,” he expressed.

His father used to be physically and emotionally abusive to him, so when Tori slapped him that night, it messed with his head. “I know, I was only teasing. I’m glad you finally worked up to it though. I’m happy for you Nate,” I responded, a partial lie.

Sure, I was happy that he was happy, but the thought of him being romantic with anybody else pained me. It was selfish of me to say this, but I wanted him for myself. I wanted him to love me the way he loved Tori.

Being in love with my step-brother filled me with great shame. Whenever I tried to contain the thoughts, there he’d be, in our bedroom, smiling at me.

It wasn’t long after we were introduced that I caught feelings. My mother, Jasmine, met Nate’s father at a support group for alcoholics. Joe was an alcoholic and my mother mentored him.

My mother struggled with alcohol in the past as well. My father passed away when I was barely one year old, so my mother used alcohol to cope. My aunt had to take care of me and my twin sisters while my mother sought help. I can’t remember my mother this way, but she talked openly about her struggle with addiction.. When she recovered, she promised never to do that to us or herself again.

It was the shared pain that bonded my mother and Joe. Similar to my mother, Joe lost his wife and became an alcoholic. It was also a shared experience that allowed me and Nate to bond quickly.

After Joe's recovery, my mother and he started going out and got married the next year. I remember being annoyed that I had to share my bedroom with a stranger, but after the first few months, I warmed up to Nate. We had become good friends over the past few years.

A couple of months after Nate lost his virginity, his father unfortunately passed away. Nate forgave his father for the abuse and they rekindled their relationship. So, when Nate lost his father, it was heartbreaking for him.

That year was hard for us, but we worked it out as a family. My sisters and I were never close to Joe, but we went to family counseling for our mother and Nate. Sofia, Nate’s younger sister, wasn’t upset about her father’s death. It took plenty of counseling to forgive her deceased father.

After time passed, we began to move on. My sisters moved out and attended a college in California while Sofia, my mother, Nate, and I lived together in our suburban home. I wanted to live at home, so I attended Florida State University, me and Nate’s nearest college. My mother needed company anyway.

The night Nathan walked in wearing his black boxer briefs was the night before my first day of college. It was Nate’s Junior year and my Freshman year.

“Will you walk me to my first class?” I asked him as he made his way under the covers. “Alright. But you have to promise me you’ll put yourself out there. Trust me, you didn’t want to be a loner in college,” he warned. He reached over to the nightstand that divided our room to switch off the light.

Me and Nate had opposite interests and personalities. He was more into sports, video games, reading comics, and hanging out with his girlfriend and friends. He hung up posters of professional sports players when he first moved in.

Nate lived in a poor household before he moved into my house. It was adorable seeing him so happy that I had a TV and a PS5 in my room. I eventually gave him my video game consoles because he seemed to enjoy them more than I did. Nate made me appreciate how lucky I was to be living so comfortably.

My side of the room had bookshelves filled with classic literature, plenty of rock albums from the 70s and 80s, a record player, a guitar, and a stage piano. I spent most of my time in my room reading, writing, or composing music.

Sometimes Nate would invite me to hang out with his friends and his girlfriend. I was never excited about it, but I would go for Nate. Nate kept insisting that I make more friends in college. Perhaps he was right. If I started socializing with others, my feelings for Nate might go away on their own.

“Okay, I'll try, but I'm not promising anything,” I responded back. He tilted his head and gave me a smile. “Goodnight Jackson,” he whispered, his voice calm and exhausted. “Goodnight,” I responded back.

An hour had passed from then, and I couldn’t fall asleep with school on my mind. I called out Nate’s name to check if he was awake, but no response. 

It was a hot summer night, so Nate eventually removed the blanket covering his body. We opened the window earlier to let the cool air enter the room. The moonlight allowed me to observe Nate’s body in full. 

He was curled up in the fetal position, his ass and smooth tanned back facing me. I let my desires control me from there. I slid my right hand down my skinny stomach into my briefs. I clenched my cock and started jerking off in steady strokes. I didn’t bother wasting lube, since the sweat on my hand from the heat was enough to pleasure me. I admired his athletic back and toned arms while I stroked faster. 

I began touching my body with my left hand, pretending it was Nate’s. I took notice of the deep line that formed from him working out. I imagined myself getting up and walking towards his bed, taking my cock out to slide it down his engraved back, eventually reaching his ass. I fantasized slipping his underwear off and placing my dick between his ass crack.

I pretended the friction of my hand was Nate’s ass. The thought of him reciprocating as he faked sleep hardened my cock. As I got close to ejaculating, I spoke Nate’s name in soft whispers. 

“Nate… Nate… Nate,” I moaned in pleasure. I stroked my dick so fast I was sure Nathan would wake up from the sound of my hand pounding against my balls. My dick leaked with pre-cum, which only added more lube as I was reaching my breaking point.

I put two of my fingers in my mouth to prevent whatever loud sounds that were expected to come out of me. The pleasure of my throbbing cock ejaculating on my hand overtook me, however, and I howled Nate’s name in rapture.

I quickly covered myself, hiding the mess I had made. My hand was dripping in semen when Nate woke up from my voice.

“What is it?” he asked, half asleep. 

“Nothing, I had a bad dream,” I responded. 

“Are you okay?” he asked with concern.

“Yeah everything is fine,” I replied back.

“Alright. Goodnight Jackson,” he told me.

It took me a while for me to go to sleep after I violated Nate. I couldn’t live with myself with all the thoughts, fantasies, and desires I had for him. My feelings for him had to come to an end, so I promised myself that night that I would never think of Nate as anything more than my step-brother.

I didn’t want to wake him, so I licked and swallowed the semen on my hand before falling asleep.