Circus Music

The small convoy rolled at a moderate speed over the motorway. They had just passed Leeds and had turned to the southeast towards their next location, a small town near Durham. It wasn’t Tom’s problem how they would get there. Navigation was the job of the first truck’s crew. For the time being he was just the driver of truck 17, an old tired truck with a worn-out gearbox and loaded with the kitchen tent and kitchen gear. Behind it was his small but cozy caravan.

He only had to follow the tail lights of truck 16 in the morning twilight and knew that 18, the last in the column, was behind him, the wrecker that towed the heavy winch trailer. So it was to be expected that his thoughts meandered, a nice state of mind that so every now and then was only interrupted by the old gearbox, refusing to be up- or downshifted. But some curses and brute force could settle that. 

With a wide grin on his face he remembered how he got in a circus in the first place. When he graduated from the Academy of Music in percussion and orchestra direction he very soon found out he was one of hundreds of just graduated unemployed musicians. He had no job, no money and, even worse, no prospects. Even his big love had disappeared into thin air overnight.

Coincidentally there was a circus in town and even more coincidentally the band leader of their orchestra had died unexpectedly. Tom jumped at the opportunity, introduced himself to the circus manager and within thirty minutes he had a job. It was a clear proof that the good old saying “One’s death is the other’s bread” was perfectly true. He had a job, a modest wage and in one effort a roof over his head, though a mobile one.

He spent the first days with rehearsing with his first orchestra. They were all good musicians, all capable of playing more than one instrument. No, they weren’t top musicians, ready for the famous European concert halls, but they knew what they were doing. And like their famous colleagues in the big orchestras they played all over Europe. Actually, they even played in places where no celebrity had even been before. Then he had started to tinker around in the existing scores, re-arranging some things and had rehearsed again, giving the whole thing a more modern sound and blowing the dust of it somewhat.

Because it was a modern circus and the music had to fit it. The manager had decided a long time ago to refrain from acts with exotic animals, like elephants, lions and tigers. It now only had four animal acts with European animals: two with horses, one with dogs and even their clown had developed an act with two goats. It always produced roars of laughter in the audience, because when a goat has the faintest idea there might be something to eat around, he stops doing immediately what he was doing. Then he must eat first!

Although Tom was also raised with the prejudice, that circus people where only vagabonds, he found out that this small group of people was working very hard for only small wages to produce a real good performance, just as actors in a small town theatre worked hard for a minimum wage to make a good stage production. Circus folk were, just like actors, artists. The only difference between the two was, that their theatre was not a stone building on a fixed place, but they took their theatre with them in old, ramshackle trucks to every place they were allowed to play. Maybe his teachers at the academy would abhor at the thought that one of their graduates was “only” a circus band leader, but Tom felt increasingly proud to be a member of the tightly knit community. 

He just saw the brake lights of truck 16 flash up and reduced speed a little as well. He wanted to shift gear down, but the old gearbox had other ideas again and refused.

“Fuck truck!” he cursed, settling the matter with some non-too subtle bangs on the gear shift.

With the small annoying intermezzo behind him he allowed his thoughts to wander off again in a daydream, this time about David.

Yes..David! They had become close friends almost from the moment that Tom arrived in the circus company. Maybe David was only a year older as Tom and he was the guy with the dog act. Every time when he was rehearsing with his four dogs, Tom was amazed about his infinite patience. Here no sadistic cruelty, that made the dogs only do the things they were expected to, only to avoid the pain they would experience if they did something else. Not with David, with him there was only a profound love for dogs, the patience of a saint, some rewards here and there and of course the delicacies, that would make every dog go with his head through a brick wall just to get them. 

And David was beautiful! He was a tad larger as Tom, totally slim built, had long auburn hair falling on his back, a thin beard and very mysterious, almost mesmerizing dark eyes. When the boy stood in the super troopers during the show, dressed in his glistening and gleaming white suit, his long hair shining like an aura around him, then he even was ravishingly beautiful. His broad smile showed the regular white teeth and his eyes sparkled, as if this was his greatest thrill in life: the dogs, the audience and their applause. And when he started talking he had a funny, slight Italian accent. Tom made no secret of it that he fell in love with boys and David was the type of boy that could bring a gay man into a state of dreamlike ecstasy. David was for Tom not exactly the knight on the white horse, but the white knight with the four dogs.

They became close friends. After the evening show they often had longs talks, going on deep into the night. There were lots of topics. David was not only interested in dogs, but also in music and avidly absorbed all Tom knew about this subject. Or they discussed the football matches of past weekend, of course both from the point of view of their own favorite clubs. And one particular night David told that he was the scion of a long lineage of circus artists. Both his parents, his grand-parents and his great-grandparents had been circus artists. Nobody knew what was before the great-grandparents, but it was hardly imaginable that these had been bank clerk of civil servant of some kind. The same way David was interested in music, Tom had a weak spot for dogs, so indirectly he became good chums with Jamie the Border Collie, Pasha the Golden Retriever, Sultan the German shepherd and Micky the little black-and-white spotted bastard dog.

But one topic was never discussed: that was love, relations and sex! It was as if a taboo was imposed on it. Tom had tried to make some covered allusions but it looked as if they were made to deaf man’s ears. No reaction whatsoever came. Tom was unable to find out if David fancied him as well or not. Maybe because the boy was pure straight or, in case he was gay, because Tom simply wasn’t his type. In any case: there was no one in his life. A small community as the circus troop would have noticed that right away. The only thing David had said was a pretty vague remark:

“I’ll be the last in the family tradition. On one hand because circus will disappear and on the other hand…oh well, forget it!”

Which closed the subject finally, maybe even forever!      

It was the end of August and the circus had crossed over to the Continent and had made station at a small town on the Baltic, just south of the German/Danish border.

It was an extremely hot day, even that hot that during breakfast David had reluctantly decided to cancel the morning rehearsals with the dogs. They would have a bad time during matinee- and evening shows. To make them work in the morning as well would almost be cruelty.

“Well, gives you the chance to re-organized your own repetitions with the band”, he sighed to Tom in resignation.

Tom knew very well how to spend the extra time he got by this. He been working for a while now to compose a new tune for the circus orchestra but he never had the chance to try it out in his caravan. Now he could use the keyboard on the bandstand over the ring entrance. All on his own in the big tent he started playing the tune. He improved some things, deleted some beats, thought out others. He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he didn’t notice that it became pitch dark in the tent. Only the small light on the keyboard illuminated the keys. When he heard a very hard drumming on the tent roof he noticed that something was out of the ordinary.

Somebody yelled something in the artists entrance. He was a bit annoyed by the disturbance, until his mind grasped what was being yelled:

“Help! Help! The dog tent has collapsed!”

He ran down the small stairs, almost crashing on the floor but was barely able to correct his imbalance and ran outside. What he found there was beyond his imagination.

Gone was the clear blue sky with the mercilessly burning sun. Instead it was pitch dark and he only saw a virtually impenetrable curtain of rain coming down, driven by heavy wind gusts, right in front of his eyes. It was a first class torrent. By memory and more or less feeling his way he carefully went to the dog tent.

The deluge, that still poured down, had torn the tent roof and caused the dog tent to collapse totally. Despite the water sheets he saw David, who frantically tried to get the four dogs out. Immediately Tom went to help him and with combined forces they were able to slip under the soaked and very heavy tent cloth and could get the dogs out one by one.

“Take them to my caravan”, Tom yelled, “It’s closer by!”

Both took two of the dogs to get them there and they barged into the little caravan as two soaked cats and four soaked dogs.

Tom looked at the four intensely wet rag-bags with compassion in his eyes.

“Gonne get us some towels”, he said quietly.

Just when he came back from the sleeping compartment the four started to shake their furs out in perfect unison. Four bubbles of water fog were hurled around and ended on the caravan’s walls, slowly dripping down.

“Sorry”, David smiled apologetically, “I’ll come back later and help you clean up”.

They more or less dried the dogs and looked at one another. Both were soaked wet to the skin. There was no dry shred of textile on their bodies.

“We can use a towel as well”, Tom grinned and walked back to his sleeping place, his feet splashing in his shoes, where he took his last two clean towels out of the small cabinet.

When he returned he stood in shock. First there was surprise, but it changed to undisguised admiration. David had taken off his t-shirt and jeans shorts and had draped them over a chair. He was just pulling his soaked undies from his body. The marvelous boy was even more desirable because the wet skin glistened erotically in the sparse light.

Somewhat shamefaced the boy turned around. Tom admired his gorgeous body with open mouth, without any kind of embarrassment. Even David’s small penis fitted perfectly in the total image in front of his eyes.

“Take your wet clothes off as well”, David said, “Otherwise you might get ill”.

Meekly Tom did what David had suggested to him. But he could not avoid that his prick was totally aroused when it finally became visible after his undies were out too.

Now he felt embarrassed and softly said:

“Sorry about that. But you are so beautiful! And to tell you the truth…I love boys”.

A sweet shy smile played around David’s lips and barely audible he said:

“So do I!”

Then he pushed his wet, naked body against Tom’s , embraced him and kissed him softly and hesitantly on the lips.

“You know…,” he whispered, “I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life. But I just wanted to have it with somebody I believe in. From the moment you came in this circus company, I knew that you were that somebody!”

Another tender kiss followed, this time greedily answered by Tom.

“We’ve got too little time now”, David said, “But I promise: I’ll be back after the evening show to pick up my clothes”.

With a husky voice and a mischievous smile he added:

“Hope they’re dry then”.

A naughty wink followed. Tom borrowed him some dry clothes and after he had pulled them on he left the caravan, followed by his four dogs, leaving Tom behind with a whole herd of stampeding butterflies in his belly.

David was true to his word. Barely fifteen minutes after the evening show ended there was a short knock on the door and he walked in. And in another fifteen minutes they were in bed.

Tom really was no newcomer to gay sex, but the gentle and tender way David made love to him was a revelation. So this was also possible as an alternative way to the hard stallion-like lovemaking. It was unbelievably beautiful and it satisfied him into the very last cell of his body.

Tom felt how David entered him and how he took him with an infinite respect. When suddenly the expected warm flood entered him, he could only sigh very deep and put his head in his pillow with closed eyes, full of relish.

Then he dedicated his attention to David’s small javelin. Greedily he started to lick it and after a while he took it completely in his mouth, including the balls, and experienced the enjoyment of being able to suck it and lick the balls at the same time. He felt how the toy grew again in his mouth, savored the delicious taste of the precum and went through the second delicious explosion of hot, white juices in a short span of time. He smacked for a while, savoring the thrilling taste of fresh sperm, swallowing most of it. With the tiny rest of it he gave his love an intense and fiery tongue kiss.  

Now they lied entwined in each other’s arms, each collecting their strengths.

“I’m eeuh…..well, I’m afraid my dick is no match to yours”, David began to speak apologetically, “I guess they were out of big dicks when my turn came”.

Tom made an angry face, something that David understood wrong, because he continued with a depressed face:

“Sorry, it’s all I got. Nothing I can change about it!”

That made Tom lose his temper, almost crying out:

“David, stop it! I’m fed up with this over-emphasis on dick size. There must be more interesting aspects to a man than only the size of his dick! It is, at least it should be, the whole man that is important, not only what is hanging between his legs. Anyway, that’s the way I see it. You can’t classify a man only by the fact if he has a big or small willie. Besides: I guess you know the old horse race saying: better a small winner than a large loser! And you know….”.

He stopped talking, his voice dropped and his face relaxed into a loving stare far beyond. Then he continued:

“…I like small dicks a lot more than XL and XXL. I knew quiet a number of guys with XL but they’re full of macho bullshit and boring. I don’t even want them around me. And don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying this to ridicule or insult or even hurt your feelings, but…I think that small dicks are so cute, so…how do I say it?...so lovable. They just invite to be caressed”.

“Go ahead”, David laughed, “Mine loves to be caressed”.

Tom grinned and bent over to start another round of fondling. He licked and sucked to his heart’s content, tickled with the tip of his tongue over the little pee hole and made sure he didn’t forget the dick head’s rim and continued it until the third round of white gold spurted out.

“Now I’m really empty”, David moaned.

Tom put up a mocking face but then said with a broad grin:

“I’ll forgive you! But what I was wondering about: why did you say this afternoon that you’ve been waiting for this moment for all of your life?”

David stared briefly to the ceiling but then started his answer:

“Circus folk can be considered freebooters by most city folks but in reality the circus world is very conservative. Homosexuality is not part of what is accepted and is frowned upon. I knew I was gay when I was 15, but I always had to hide it for the rest”.

“So, you never had sex before tonight?”, Tom asked bewildered.

“Oh yeah”, David giggled, “I’m no monk or saint! The advantage of being raised in a circus troop is that you pick up cute boys all over Europe, have unlimited fun with them in some forest or shed or hay stack and then simply vanish without a trace. But always in deepest discretion, mostly on both sides. No young boy wants to be known as a queer. But you can find some very cute, hot-blooded boys in Italy. And don’t forget the Swedish boys. But I only wanted to do the real coming out if I met someone who was worth to take the risks and take the inevitable hurdles. I found him when you came here. So, that’s the reason I was able to say that this afternoon”.

Tom cozily snuggled up against David and whispered:

“Sex is so good! And sex with you is pure heaven!”

Fully enjoying each other’s physical close proximity they went to sleep.

It had become the half of September and summer tended towards its end. The circus was on the last playing location for this season. It was at the limits of a small Swedish city, directly at the western Baltic coast. As soon as this was done the convoy would roll back to their winter quarters. The small troop would partly fall apart. Some artists would go to their own winter quarters to develop and rehearse new acts. Some of them would search for another circus, hoping for a little more money. And some of Tom’s musicians would leave for a more regular life, but Tom solved this by finding replacements within the circles of his former co-students, who were for the biggest part still without a job. Nor Tom or David had own winter quarters, so they stayed at the circus’s winter quarters.

Tom had told the old manager that he planned to stay for the next season. The man was clearly pleased: at least he didn’t have to find another band leader. But when Tom told him in the same meeting that he didn’t need his caravan any longer, because he moved in with David, the diehard circus man of the old mould had looked surprised at first and then his face changed, showing clear displeasure. Tom didn’t mind. What could the man do: throw them out? It turnedout, that the manager was the only one taking offence. Nobody else in the troop seemed to be disturbed. Maybe even in the circus world things were changing.

But it wasn’t finished yet. First there five days of shows and then a day off before breaking down and loading up would start.

Especially during the evening shows it was clear they were in the Scandinavian autumn. To avoid that the audience would freeze the large heaters were installed and fired up. One of them was directly over the band stand, so Tom came in his caravan every evening soaked with sweat.

During the daytime weather was perfect. The sun shone with its typical autumn light, the breeze was warm and almost fondling and the daytime temperatures were very pleasant. These perfect conditions were also prevalent on their day off.

After the daily necessary work was done, they decided to enjoy the lovely weather. David had picked up the rumor that they could find a nudist beach at a certain shore, so that is where they went.

At arrival the information proved correct. The local authorities had even had the kindness to place a notification in three languages that “nudist recreation was allowed behind this sign”. But when they walked on to the beach there was not a living soul to be seen.

“Ah, what a shame”, David joked, “It looks you will have to wait a little longer before you can adore naked Swedish beauties”.

They undressed und stuffed their clothes in their backpacks. Hand in hand they walked over the beach, directly along the water, getting their feet wet so every now and then. The soft-filtered golden sunlight shone beneficently on their skins. It was like a romantic painting: two naked, beautiful boys in the soft light against a background of white sand and green-blue water. Michelangelo might have been tempted to paint it on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, or maybe even tempted to make love to both of them.

Suddenly David looked into Tom’s eyes, a meaningful look full of desire in his own eyes, and nodded wordless to the rim of a forest, that was directly adjacent to the beach. Tom reacted with a seductive smile and they searched and found a nice open spot in the forest where they snuggled down in the lush high grass. In the background the sound of the breakers crashing on the shore could be heard, the sun shone between the layers of leaves, that swayed in the soft southeastern breeze and birds sang everywhere.

There was no delay. David started kissing right away while Tom sucked the boy’s little nipples, only to let his tongue glide down over chest and belly. The small tree was already waiting for him, showing very clearly it was in maximum alert status.

Again he took it in his mouth to the full, including the balls and was trying hard to perfect the technique of licking the balls and sucking the dickhead at the same time. It seemed to work: David was panting like a husky after a long sled trip.

But nevertheless he pushed Tom’s head from his penis, who looked up in surprise.

“Don’t you like it?” Tom asked uncertain,

“Oh yes, I do,” David answered softly panting, “but I had other plans!”

“Ooooooohhhh”, Tom only said, licking his lips.

Tom was rolled on his belly and, again not losing a second as if he was in a hurry, David lied on top of him, pushing his small rod inside the boy. He made some fast thrusts to be sure he was deep enough, but then something totally unexpected happened, that puzzled Tom enormously. Instead of thrusting on David started to thrust in a lazy, relaxed tempo. It might well have been one move per two or three minutes, but all of them were fully felt. It took Tom some effort to figure out what David was doing, but after a considerable timespan the dime fell: David moved inside him in the same rhythm as the surf rolled on the sand of the nearby beach!

It was so incomprehensibly lovely, so sweet, so incredibly intimate and it was soooo horny! But even in this slow, languid tempo the ultimate explosion had to come: David’s own breakers freely flowed in Tom’s narrow channel with a warmth that equaled the soft breeze that stroke his skin. Tom felt the warm surf spread inside him and could only receive it with another deep sigh of pleasure and filled with a deep love.