Chris, the Trophy Husband

“Hey, if you’re really looking for a change, I might know something”, my friend Samuel said over lunch.

I had just been complaining about how life hadn’t been the same ever since I had broken up with my ex. Again. It had been 6 months ago, but I was definitely not over it. Samuel’s body language did give away that he was tired of my complaining.

I appreciated that he still let me talk. Because throughout our lunch, I had been going on about how work isn’t fun anymore and I was just not looking forward to anything anymore. I wanted something to change, but at the same time I didn’t feel motivated to make any changes happen. So when Samuel said he might know something, I was already dreading his suggestion.

“You know the writer, Raenia Woodard?”

“No?”

“African American? Writes about feminism and intersectionality?”

I shrugged.

“She was on Ellen?”

“Still, no clue.”

“Married the much younger hunky tennis player?”

“Chris-with-the-Polish-name?”

“Yes, that one.”

I felt like Samuel was about to mock me for knowing the hunky husband, not the intellectual writer, but his facial expression was enough. Samuel definitely ran in different circles than me, knowing artists and authors all across the country. He started his career at a publishing company, but now he ran a literary agency. And me, well I read a book every now and then. A tacky murder mystery maybe.

“Well, she’s looking for someone trustworthy to housesit in Tampa.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m sending her on tour throughout the country and I want Chris to join her. They asked me if I knew someone down in Tampa they could trust to take care of their cat, Scaramouch.”

I laughed.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Yeah! It’ll only be for like, four weeks. I think I’ll be able to get you paid while you’re there, too.”

I smiled. This was a suggestion I could work with. It was a rainy 47 degrees (8 Celsius) here in Columbus in mid-March. My Latin blood was telling me a trip to Florida for a month would suit me just fine.

“I’ll think about it”, I said.

A week later I had a Skype call with Raenia, who wanted to meet the man who had promised to look after her cat. On a Saturday morning, my laptop opened on a beautiful black woman in her late forties, early fifties. She smiled when she saw me.

“Hi! Jose Avilas, right?”

“Avilés”, I corrected.

She repeated.

“Very good”, I said, “Nice to meet you Raenia!”

I was trying to come across cheerful, but it wasn’t difficult, because not only did the idea of going to Tampa for a few weeks sound so good, Raenia was so sweet and funny.

“I would show you Scaramouch, but he doesn’t like to be held that much. He’s the one to decide to sit on your lap until he’s done with you, and that’s about it.”

“Sounds like every cat I ever met”, I said.

I was glad I could make her laugh.

“Also, I’m in my bedroom now and he is not allowed!”

“I’ll remember!”, I said.

Raenia had compiled a list of things she wanted me to be responsible for, which wasn’t just looking after the cat. There was going to be construction while she and Chris were gone, a cleaner, a pool person… I decided to write down all of the things she was telling me. She also had a list of rules she wanted me to adhere to, of which the main one was to not host a party in their home. I laughed.

After almost five minutes of us talking, I could tell she got distracted. She put her finger up and smiled. There was the faint sound of singing.

“Honey?”, she said in a louder tone.

The singing stopped.

“Yeah?”, I heard from clearly a room away.

“Can you tone down the singing, I’m on the phone!”

“Sorry!”

Raenia looked back at me and chuckled.

As we continued to have a conversation, in the background I saw the door open and there he was. Chris. In nothing but a towel. I realized pretty much immediately that I had stopped paying attention to a word Raenia was saying. Raenia wasn’t realizing. She was looking down at her list.

Chris looked hot as hell. He was hairy in all the right places. And as if I just had the best gay karma in the world, he opened the sliding door to the closet, and, still in frame, threw the towel on the bed. A pair of round cakes appeared that I would have given my life for. To have, or for that matter, to hold.

I saw him put on a blue pair of boxerbriefs when I snapped back to Raenia’s voice. Chris was just continuing to get dressed and neither of them seemed to have noticed what had happened.

“Oh, also, if you could water the indoor plants like twice a week, that would be great.”

“S-sure.”

Chris now wore some butt-hugging jeans as he turned around, picked the towel up off the bed and walked to what I presumed was the bathroom. I felt like I was getting away with something. Him hearing me speak didn’t have to give anything away; I could have been on speaker. But still.

Raenia and I were just ending our conversation when Chris walked back into the bedroom and he picked out a T-shirt.

“Oh babe, this is Jose, he’s going to be housesitting for us!”

Chris turned around and walked towards the computer as he quickly put on a T-shirt.

“Hi Jose, so nice to meet you! I’m Chris.”

His smile sent chills down my spine and a stirring in my groin.

“Nice to meet you too!”

Chris turned to walk away, but then suddenly…

“Wait, you were on Skype?”, he addressed Raenia.

“Yeah?”

“This whole time?”

“Yeah?”

“You said you were on the phone.”

“So?”

Chris facepalmed and then faced the computer again.

“I’m sorry for the free show, Jose.”

I chuckled.

“That-that’s alright, don’t worry.”

Raenia now got it and started laughing.

It wasn’t that long before I was on my way to Tampa, and so very excited. I was only going to meet Chris and Raenia for a day before they had to leave for their first stop, New York. I was looking forward to getting there. It would be nice to meet Chris in person, but to have this great house – with a pool – to myself for a few weeks was what I looked forward to most.

A car waited for me at the airport to bring me to Longfellow Avenue. I couldn’t wait! Looking outside, the sunny weather was already doing me good. On the way I already saw many villas and I couldn’t wait to see what Raenia’s and Chris’s looked like.

The car stopped after less than 15 minutes by a row of palm trees. All around were large villas and I still didn’t know which one it was. The driver got out, so I did too. He got my luggage from the trunk and pointed at one of the villas. It was so pretty, a Mediterranean yellow color. One driveway over, a young woman was blowing leaves. She nodded. I nodded back. I rolled my suitcase toward the front door and rang the bell.

Raenia opened the door and immediately hugged me.

“Jose! So good to see you!”

I smiled.

“I am so happy to be here”, I said.

“Welcome to Tampa”, she then said as she let go, “Welcome to the Woodard/Wisniewski residence!”

I chuckled.

“Thanks so much! Your place is so beautiful!”

I looked around the living room and I was in awe. It was a very nice house, but it was like every square inch had been decorated. It was maybe a little… busy. But that’s OK, I could get used to it for those few weeks.

“Come in, come in! How was your flight? Leave your luggage here for now. Do you want a drink?”

Raenia seemed very excited for some reason. I followed her into the kitchen when I saw Chris sitting on the sofa.

“Hey!”, I said.

“Hi”, he replied awkwardly.

Only now I saw his right leg was in a cast from above the knee down. Two crutches were beside him.

“Oh no, what happened?”

Chris grimaced as he tried to sit more comfortably.

“Uh, yeah, so I broke my leg…”, he said.

“I’ve been telling him to stop playing, there’s no need!”

“I wanted to continue playing”, Chris addressed me, “it’s my career.”

I smiled awkwardly. I was sensing this was an argument between the two of them.

Raenia brought me a glass of wine, without me ever saying I wanted one.

“So, yeah. Slight change of plans”, she started.

Chris was going to be living with me right here. And I had one extra task, drive him to physical therapy once a day. The both of them couldn’t be more apologetic, but I didn’t mind. Or, well, did I?

When I saw the pool and realized it was completely private, my mind wandered about what freedom I would have had if I had been living here by myself. But you know what, this could be fun. Chris and I got along. I was wildly attracted to him, but I’ve been attracted to people who ended up as my friends before. I’m sure it would be fine with time.

Raenia showed me the rest of the house and showed me my bedroom with my own bathroom. I was thrilled. She had printed off a page with more information, like the nearest stores and nicest restaurants.

That night, Raenia said that she had wanted the three of us to go to dinner, but Chris just didn’t have the energy.

“I’m easy”, I said. “Order in, I’m fine.”

That’s exactly what they did, except it was much fancier than what I have when I order in. The food came with plates and cutlery that was later picked up. And, the food was really good.

During dinner, I saw how playful Raenia’s and Chris’s relationship was. They were both incredibly smart and funny. Sometimes I had a hard time keeping up. When I had googled them, Raenia was getting heat from all sides. She was a black woman who had the guts to speak out about racism and sexism, to then marry a white man who was 19 years younger and an athlete. Chris was objectified most of all. For neither of them this was an accurate or complete picture.

The next morning I woke up and I quickly realized I was in Tampa. The sun shining through the blinds, the sound of birds outside, it all made me smile. The night before had been so much fun. I think the three of us emptied two bottles of wine. Raenia and I had to help Chris up the stairs to his bedroom. Chris’s arm around my shoulders, gripping my upper arm as he fully trusted me, was a great feeling. Knowing that this could be a daily occurrence was something that I looked forward to. Only then I reminded myself that Chris was just going to be a friend. An attractive friend at that, but just a friend.

Raenia left for the airport that day and still had packing to do. Chris and I hung out by the pool as I asked him what exactly happened for him to break his leg on the tennis court.

“I totally misjudged the ball coming my way. I thought I could correct my mistake, but my foot landed at such a stupid angle that me correcting it just made it snap.”

“Sounds painful.”

“Yeah, it really was!”

Raenia and Chris said goodbye, which was cute to watch. They both seemed very sad to have to miss each other for four weeks. Raenia was driven to the airport by the same driver who had gotten me here the day before.

“So, what do we want to do today?”, I asked Chris when Raenia had left.

“Let’s look at the list!”, he mockingly said.

It was true, Raenia had made a list of chores for each day. Today was Tuesday, for which it obviously said physical therapy for Chris, but also grocery shopping. In the afternoon, the pool man would show up. Low key it was quite practical that Raenia had made this list for each day of the week, but Chris clearly thought it was a little demeaning.

“Oh, and while we’re at it, could we swing by some place to shop for clothes. I need shorts. Kind of wide, so they’ll fit over my cast. I can’t wear these every single day.”

I looked down and saw he wore sweat shorts with a draw string. I could imagine that for him those would be easy.

“Ah, so just more of those?”

“Yeah, these are fine.”

Chris handed me the keys to the car. There actually were two cars in the garage, but the white Toyota Corolla Hybrid was more practical than the flashy sportscar next to it. I drove him to physical therapy first. I waited for an hour. I was texting Samuel and told him all about how housesitting had also turned into mansitting.

‘You thought he was hunky though, right?’

‘I know, there’s worse people to have to look after. He’s straight though. And taken.’

‘I don’t think you can expect anyone to feel sorry for you.’

Maybe he had a point.

After physical therapy, we went clothes shopping. As Chris so swiftly bounced through the store, I was impressed with how well he was working his crutches, considering the injury and the following operation had only been less than a week ago. We quite quickly found some sweat shorts and bought four.

Then we needed to go food shopping. This was going to take a little while longer as Chris had a specific diet to adhere to. I had the exact list of what I was supposed to get, but he seemed adamant to not follow it.

“Ooh, let’s get nachos!”

He was quite fast on his crutches and I followed with a shopping cart. I was starting to see that the loose sweat shorts were easily coming down on him. The top of his crack at times peeked out. I was enjoying the show. When we got to the nachos, he casually used one hand to pull the shorts up.

As our shopping cart become more and more filled up, I noticed Chris was getting tired. I had been able to get all that I needed for the next few days, and I realized that next time I’d do the food shopping while Chris was at physical therapy.

Chris reached for a top shelf and his T-shirt raised up. His beautifully hairy stomach was exposed. More than a treasure trail turned into pubes as I again noticed the shorts low on his hips. As he threw the bottle of dressing in the kart, he again adjusted the shorts, even though I knew it would be a matter of time before they would sag right back down again. I noticed the drawstring had come undone.

As we stood in line for the register, I noticed I could almost peek into the top of his shorts. With the drawstring now fully undone I could almost look into them. But I decided not to. As the line moved, and Chris took another step with his crutches, the shorts fell down further.

“Oops”, he said casually, “I almost flashed the entire supermarket.”

He smiled at me and then very clearly grabbed himself.

“That would’ve been hot”, he mumbled.

I looked down and he very clearly had a semi.

I looked away. This could get tougher than expected.

To be continued….