Can't Fight the Feeling

I had just turned 30. I remembered looking in the mirror that morning as I slipped into my bathing suit, checking out my smooth muscular body, my broad shoulders looking wide, my abs still visible, my pecs solid. My biceps looked great, my legs equally powerful and sculpted. Just looking at myself made my cock swell a bit, and I had to cup it in my bathing suit to calm it down. At 5’9” and weighing a firm 155 pounds, I looked damn good.

So why wasn’t I having any kind of sex?

I pulled on my muscle t-shirt and grabbed the towels. After a few years of marriage, the sex was already drying up. My son was born over a year ago now, and my wife had announced that she was pregnant a few weeks back. I think that was the only time I had actually had sex with her, so I must be carrying some pretty potent swimmers if it only took that one time. Other than that, nothing.

So, my eyes have started to wander. Problem is, they are wandering back to men.

I returned from Europe a new man. I had been fucked hard by guys in practically every country I visited. I had taken out my depression and grief there, totally slutting myself out to forget about Joe. The accident. The funeral. Everything.

When I returned from Europe, I met Allie through a group of old high school friends and we seemed to click. At least, in a strong friend way. Allie happened to come along at just the right time, as I vowed to never love another man again.

The first few years were great. And when my son came along, I thought I could do it. Live the straight life. Raise a family. Have kids. It had been a few years now and no wandering, no looking, nothing.

But I knew I was kidding myself. Yes, I missed Joe. Every day. I missed his smile, his laughter, and they way he looked at me. I missed his giant body, his warm skin and the softness of his touch. I missed the way he kissed me, the way he could make me giggle, and the feeling of his big cock inside me. I missed the feeling of another man.

The need for cock was back. I could no longer fight this need that was deep inside me. And as I took one last look in the mirror before we headed out to the conservation area on this rather hot and sunny July day with our son, I knew my eyes were going to wander. I had a feeling today that I was going to give in.

And with my sunglasses on, my eyes wandered.

Allie had Josh down in the man-made lake, while I had stripped down to my bathing suit and watched from our spot not too far away. As cute as he was, and as attractive as Allie was, my eyes were watching all the shirtless dads that were there. I was scouring, watching them walk in with their families, or play games with their kids. I saw older ones, out of shape ones, too skinny ones. Nothing was holding my gaze. Until I noticed the group of kids screaming and laughing as bodies were being thrown in the air into the water to the left of my own wife and son.

Four or five kids, looking to be about 10 years old, were one by one being tossed high up in the air in the deeper end by a dad. I could only see the back of his head, wet blonde hair matted down on his perfectly shaped head attached to a thick looking neck. Kids were hanging off him, screaming it was their turn and one by one, he’d scoop one up and toss them into the air. High.

I could see his shoulders above the water and they looked impressive. Tanned. Smooth. Broad. Muscles rippling. I started to stare, glad that my sunglasses were hiding where I was looking. I was fixated on them just to the side of my wife and son, so it was easy to smile at them and wave while stealing glances as I watched this dad.

He had turned in my direction at one point, and I could see that he was a good looking guy, very chiseled clean shaven face, with a perfectly sized straight nose and solid forehead. He was standing up a bit more in shallower water and I could see his firm pecs, looking quite hard and round and smooth from what I could tell. He lifted a kid over his head with both arms and I got a little hard when I saw his lats V out as he tossed the kid backward, his ribs showing in what looked like a hard flat stomach. I was mesmerized not only by his physique, but by the way the kids were drawn to him and the fun he was having. I know I was already drawn to him and I was just staring.

I tugged at my board shorts and decided I needed to cool off, and to get a closer look at this hunk. I went to where Allie was with Josh, and plunked my ass down in the shallow water to hide my bulge as my one year old splashed awkwardly around me. I kept my sunglasses on and peered over Allie’s shoulder at the group. The dad was now standing in waist high water backing towards us and he looked amazing. His upper body was sculpted, thick like a football player but defined. He was smooth, bronzed from the summer sun, and his hair had that wet shaggy look with the sides shaved. One of the kids came towards him and he giggled and ran towards the shore, showing off his white knee length swimsuit and a pair of calves that made me lick my lips. My eyes darted to his wide manly feet as they appeared on the sand before he ran back in around the kid chasing him.

I heard the kid shout “Uncle Ian!” as he chased him back into the water, the dad or uncle, flopping backwards into the water in a large splash. I stood up at that point, realizing he was submerged again and played with Josh. I stood facing the man, my own sculpted body now on display as I suddenly realized most of the men on the beach were not gym types. I could feel the looks as people walked by me, but I ignored them. Until I noticed that the man with all the kids was looking my way.

I had my sunglasses on still so he couldn’t see that I was watching him back, but he had noticed me and was staring. Sometimes overtly, other times in between kids attacking him and throwing them off him in playful little bursts. But his eyes always came back to me.

Huh. I thought.

I shoved my sunglasses over my head and bent over to tug Josh along. The little guy loved the water and soon we were the ones laughing and chasing each other. Occasionally I’d look in “Uncle Ian’s” direction and could see him checking me out. At least I thought so anyway.

He had stopped throwing kids and I could hear him saying that he was tired. He had a sexy voice, not too deep, but manly and masculine. It carried over the water and it was a strong one. I watched him walk out of the water, his big magnificent body on display. I could see women turning sideways to glance at him. I was outright staring, seeing his legs again and admiring every inch of him. He had a bubble ass that his bathing suit was stuck too, accentuating it perfectly until he tugged at them and air filled them once again. Loosening it up. His broad back glistened in the sun as he brought his big hands to his face to wipe the water away and walked towards his stuff away from me. After a few long strides he turned back in my direction and looked directly at me.

My heart skipped a beat at this gaze. Huh, I thought again with a little smile.

I watched him go until he grabbed a towel, a few kids running after him and he plunked himself down on the picnic table facing my direction.

He was totally staring at me.

“I need to get him out of the sun.” I heard Allie say and I started gathering up his little shovels and toys like a dutiful husband. Josh got cranky after that, and we didn’t end up staying that long. I kept my eyes on the big blonde hunk for as long as I could before we packed up our stuff and headed home.

All night I thought about that man. When Allie disappeared upstairs after we put Josh to bed, I grabbed my 8 inch dick and slowly stroked it, thinking about that guy. I convinced myself he was looking back at me. I was sure he was into me. His body looked amazing. I could picture what his cock looked like to complete the visual. It was the first time in a long time I fantasized about any man. He just seemed like the right sort of guy for me.

I lifted my shirt up over my head and quietly stroked, until I heard movement and dropped it again and stuffed my huge erection into my shorts. I sat up, my balls aching for release, squished into my underwear once again.

“Fuck.” I muttered to myself as I heard Allie coming down the stairs quietly.

It was still early, but she announced she was tired and heading to bed, leaving me alone once again as my cock quickly subsided.

But the feelings didn’t stop. And I needed to do something about it before I exploded.

I waited about an hour and then grabbed my car keys and crept out of the house, unsure of where I was going but knowing I needed to get out. It was only 10:30 at night on a Sunday, and I needed to do something.

I drove into the city and noticed it was pretty dead. I knew of a supposed cruising spot that I had heard about a long time ago along a parking lot by a set of railroad tracks not far from the small bay in our city. I had never ventured to this spot at night, but tonight seemed to be a perfect night to drive by.

I didn’t really know where I was going, so I drove into the first lot down by the bayfront and pulled into a parking spot about mid way in. I noticed there were spatterings of cars in the parking lot, some with their lights on running. As I sat there, shaking a bit with nerves, I could see some cars pulling in and driving around. The longer I watched, the more I noticed that cars were driving out only to return again a few minutes later. I watched in my rear view mirror as cars slowly drove along behind me. There weren’t many cars, maybe 5 or 6 moving. A good ten were parked here and there. I could see some cars parked side by side in twos, others had no one in them.

One car pulled into the spot directly beside me and I turned to look as you would normally do. There was a shadow of a man turned my way, looking back at me. I couldn’t see what he looked like and I was afraid to stare, before the car then slowly backed up and moved along.

Huh. I thought. So this is cruising. I suddenly felt dejected that whoever pulled up didn’t like what they saw. Maybe I wasn’t as hot anymore as I used to be. Or it was too dark to tell.

I watched a pick up pull into the lot a few minutes later and park a ways down from me, facing the bay. This guy had backed in and his window was down. I could see him smoking, his arm out the window, baseball cap on low as he watched cars move by him. From his arm hanging out the window, he looked jacked, and not at all the typical old guy cliental I was noticing down here.

I rolled down my own window and let my arm hang out the window to show off a bit. Thankfully there were no bugs on this hot summer night. I flexed a bit, but couldn’t tell if this guy could see.

Then his window went up and he opened the door and got out and I thought Holy shit.

He looked fit. Very fit. Baseball cap on. Jeans. Work boots. No gut. Clean shaven face from what I could tell under the hat. He shut the door, shoved his hands in his pockets and looked directly down the empty spaces between our vehicles straight at me. Then he slowly started walking towards the boardwalk into the darkness heading in my direction.

In a flash I was out of my vehicle, shutting it and locking it as I watched his figure moving in my direction by the water. I waited until he was just in front of my area before I started to move towards the walkway, seeing him turn his head my way. I was still wearing shorts and a plain black tee. And as I moved under the lamppost, my figure came into view for him.

His head stayed with me as he dragged his cigarette, the end of his cigarette lighting up his dark features on his face. His biceps looked even bigger than I pictured in his polo shirt, his one hand in his pocket still and his tricep bulged out as I neared him. He continued walking just ahead of me and I started to follow. I forgot about the cars, the parking lot, and focused on following this stud as he walked alone.

He turned his head slightly to see if I was still following along behind him, and I thought I saw him smile as he did. There was no one else walking ahead of us but when I turned my head back I could see a couple of figures in the distance behind us.

My guy in front gave me a quick look back again and sort of turned sideways to really make sure I was following and then moved off the path into the bushes to the side, staring at me the entire time until he slid into the tall grass and dense bushes into a slight opening. I slowed and turned into the opening, to see him waiting, holding back a branch and giving me a little head nod to follow.

I quickly moved towards the area and the minute he saw me coming, he moved further into the bushes. I ducked under some branches and stepped into the area, which was slightly cleared for a small opening of trampled grass and twigs. The guy was leaning against the tree, his hand rubbing his crotch as he smoked his cigarette with the other. This looked like a usual spot for secret meetings at night.

I stopped in front of him, about a foot away as we stared at each other. He had lifted his hat above his face a bit and I could see a good looking mug on him, dark beginnings of a beard, thick eyebrows, dark eyes, solid straight nose. His one leg was bent as he rested his foot on the tree trunk, and his big hand was holding his package. He looked like a construction worker, or someone that worked with his hands. Reminded me of a younger trimmer Frank. I felt my heart beating fast and my tongue came out to lick my lips.

“’Sup.” His deep voice said quietly.

I shrugged, putting my hands in my shorts. “Not much. You?” I responded.

He held his cigarette between his lips and looked me up and down, rubbing his bulge in his pants with one hand. “You lookin’?”

I nodded, my eyes darting from his hand on his package to his face as he peered at me. Without a word, he undid the button of his jeans and pulled his zipper down. His thick thumb hooked into his underwear and he lowered it, showing me a nicely trimmed dark bush surrounding a very thick meaty looking base of a cock. He lowered his underwear slowly, letting it run the length of his shaft until it reached the head and his cock flicked upwards and out, fully erect, and quite large.

“Holy shit.” I muttered, my own cock straining in my shorts as I watched his appear. It had to be thicker than mine, and attached to a very trim waist. I took a step closer instinctively as he grabbed it and started to stroke it slowly. It looked cut, thick, and a bit longer than mine. I took another step closer as he took a drag from his cigarette, his eyes on me, his manly fist slowly jerking his cock. His balls were big and round and fairly smooth, as were the top of his legs as his jeans slid to his knees. He had thick thighs, just the way I liked.

He pushed his dick down and let it smack upwards against his shirt, before he lifted the bottom of his shirt to expose a perfect 6 pack of smooth abs.

“Fuck.” I whispered and walked towards him, letting my hand come out and rub his abs as he held his shirt up for me with one hand as he continued to slowly stroke his cock. My eyes looked up at him, standing a good 4 or 5 inches taller than me. His eyes were dark, like a deep brown with long eyelashes. He squinted at me, then let his eyes roam down my body and he let go of his shirt to reach out to me.

Feeling a strong man’s hand on my body once again made me quiver as he grabbed my pec over my shirt. His eyes darted back up to mine as his hand felt my muscles. “Nice.” He said in that deep gravelly voice. He pulled at my shirt as I slid my hand up his to feel his hard chest. The second his fingers connected with my flesh I shuddered again, and he gave a little laugh. “You okay?”

I let out a small breath. “Yeah. Sorry.” His hand moved gently under my shirt, feeling my own flat stomach and up to my rounded pecs. “Just not used to this.”

His eyes met mine again. “Same. Fuck!” He suddenly said with a smile as his hand moved under my shirt. He released his cock and pulled the cigarette from his lips. “You feel ripped man. Fuckin’ perfect.”

“So do you.” I said back, realizing how stupid I sounded.

“You do this a lot?” He whispered, butting out his smoke on the tree behind him before tossing it to the ground and stepping on it. His cock was standing straight up, his jeans still around his knees. This guy was a fucking hunk.

I shook my head. “Not for a while.”

“Well let’s see what kind of a cocksucker you are.” He backed up against the tree and put both his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down. My hands slid from under his shirt straight down to his legs as I lowered myself willingly to come face to face with this beautiful piece of meat. From his powerful thighs, my hands glided to the base of his cock, where I held it, admiring it still, before I leaned into it with my mouth wide open.

He tasted great, one thick pole from tip to base with a perfect helmet that went to the back of my throat easily. I heard him moan softly, sucking in air as I deep throated his cock and fell back into sucking a man’s cock like a pro.

“Holy fuckin’ hell!” He groaned, letting his hands move to the side of my face as I closed my eyes and sucked him deep. The feel of his cock, the taste of this man, the sounds he was making was what I was missing. And all I wanted to do was please him.

I tilted my head to look up at him, and his eyes were on me, watching me. His mouth was hanging open in loud breaths. His arms were flexed as he held my head, assisting me by pumping his cock into my mouth. I was loving every moment.

He let go of my head while staring at me and pulled his shirt up and off his body, revealing what I had mapped out underneath: a perfectly sculpted muscular torso, shaved smooth. He looked Portuguese or Italian, which made me swoon, and my hands went quickly up his body as I continued to swallow his dick, feeling every ripple of muscle on him.

“Fuck yeah.” He growled, and bent down to grab my shirt and pull it off of me, making me momentarily come off his dick. I let out a loud gasp as I could see his cock throbbing, covered with my spit, and aching for more. But before I could go back on it, he pulled me up by the arm and moved me to the tree, face first as his hands came around me and he pressed his cock against my ass.

I put my hands on the tree and shoved my ass back into him, making him growl again.

“Holy fuck I found me a hot little cocksucker.” His mouth was at my ear, and I could smell the cigarette still on him. I cocked my head sideways, dying to kiss this man. “Tell me stud, you a fag?”

I shook my head as his mouth hovered near my cheek while he grinded his cock up and down my covered ass. “No.”

“Oh yeah? Got a little girlfriend?”

I breathed in, feeling my insides fluttering as he simulated fucking me from behind. I could feel his hard cock through my shorts and I couldn’t resist but push back against him, hoping he would get the hint at how much I needed to be fucked again. “I’m married.”

“Yeah? Me too.” He breathed out, his lips rubbing along my face. I turned more, his lips pushing against my cheek, almost touching my own before he leaned up and his mouth was at my ear. “But I just love a tight fit guy every now and then. You ever been fucked?”

I lowered myself a bit, sticking my ass out more as his hands slid around my waist and down into my shorts. “Yeah. But it’s been awhile.”

His hand went straight into my underwear and grabbed my hard 8 inches. “Fuckin’ hell, nice cock on you too man.” He pulled his hand out and using both hands undid my shorts and pushed them down, exposing my ass and cock to the night air.

I shivered again as he pressed his cock between my ass cheeks and resumed his gyrations, sliding his cock up and down me. “How long since you’ve had a thick cock up your ass?”

I was panting now, sweat forming on my forehead as this stud held my hips and rubbed his cock up and down the top of my ass. I flattened my hands against the tree trunk and bent down, pushing him backwards a bit to give him the hint I wanted it. “Years.”

He growled again, and slapped his cock against my cheeks. “Bet you’re tight as hell then.”

I looked back at him, his eyes staring at my jock ass, his tongue out and licking his lips. He looked like he was contemplating, seriously thinking. “You safe?” I asked, causing him to meet my gaze.

He grinned. “Always. But I don’t have a condom on me. Was just looking to get blown but FUCK…” he said and slapped my ass. “Wasn’t expecting to find such a hot jock.”

I pushed my ass back against him, teasing him some more before I spun around and bent over, taking his cock in my mouth again and sucking him deep. He shivered this time, letting out a low groan as I deep throated his cock without gagging. I felt his finger at my hole, tapping it, circling it, before it came back wet with his spit. He started to finger my ass, poking his wet digit in slightly as I sucked him with renewed force. It had been too long since I had a cock. And I wasn’t going to let this gorgeous cock go.

I doused his cock with spit and turned back around facing the tree, holding it in my hand and guiding it to my ass to tease him again.

“Fuuuuuucccccckkkk,” he moaned as he stepped in between me again, holding back the urge to push inside me.

“I’m totally clean.” I whispered over my shoulder as I let go of his dick. I wiggled my ass around his cock as he looked at me. “As long as you are. I need it.”

His eyes stayed on me, his eyebrows lowered in a frown as he pulled a bit back. I watched him let a gob of spit fall out of his mouth onto his dick and he moved it back to my ass. “I really shouldn’t…” he said as he pushed the head of his dick at my hole. I breathed in deeply as all of my signals went off in my body. I closed my eyes to try to relax as the tip of his cock pressed at my tiny entrance. “But fuck you are so hot!” he groaned, grabbing my hips in his big hands and arching his back, pressing into me a bit harder.

There was resistance, and I wasn’t sure if it was me being careful, or him holding back the urge to plunge in. He continued to tease me for a few more minutes, spitting on his dick, rubbing it in, and letting the head of his cock tease my ass. I was on fire, moaning like a bitch as this muscled man stood behind me. I stepped out of my shorts so I was completely naked now, and bent over, grabbing my ankles, knowing that I was ready to take him after all this foreplay.

I heard him let out a long sigh, followed by another “holy fuckin’ hell” before I felt his cock at my ass again, grinding that big thick shaft up and down my hole. Each time the tip of his cock found my ass, he hesitated and pushed more and more into me as if he was testing me. So when I grabbed both my cheeks and spread myself open as he did it, I pushed my ass back and felt the head pop into me.

“Oh fuck!” He moaned loudly as I saw flashes of light in my head and the pain hit me. I grabbed his thighs to steady him, holding him still, making sure he didn’t push in any more but also making sure he didn’t pull out. I was afraid that once he did, I wouldn’t be able to take him back in.

“Don’t move.” I whispered as my legs started to shake a bit. I could feel my cock pulsing as I held his strong legs. His hands were on my hips in a tight grip, my own fingers digging into his legs. Neither one of us moved, me out of pain and him probably out of shock at having sunk his raw cock into me.

“Fuckin’ hell. You sure about this?” He grunted behind me.

I responded in a few seconds by pushing my ass back and letting more of that beautiful cock slide into me. I groaned as I felt cum leaking from my dick as he pushed forward, taking the hint. I looked down at my cock and saw the small river of cum pouring out of my tool as he pushed in slowly. “Holy fuck!” I whispered, watching the stream of juice pour onto the grass underneath me.

I felt his hips connect with my ass and I knew he was all the way in. “So fucking tight man. And so warm….” He moaned above me. He held himself there, digging in a little deeper by grinding into me again. “You okay?”

I nodded, bending over to touch the ground again and hold my ankles. “Just fuck me!” I moaned.

He responded right away as if he was waiting for the signal and started to pound me hard, just as I expected he would by the way he looked. Our bodies slapped together, making obvious noises while we kept our grunts down. His dick felt amazing as he started to drill me, fucking me hard and fast. And quite quickly as my hot ass was too much for him to resist and he couldn’t hold back.

“Fuck. I’m going to cum!” He shouted suddenly, giving me a couple harder thrusts before he pulled his cock out of my ass and grabbed my shoulder with one hand. I craned my neck around to see him jerking his cock just over my ass and watched the eruption of cum shoot straight up my back, landing on me in a wet silent thud as his body flexed tight, each pec tightening under his massive shoulders. Veins appeared in his neck as he grunted out quietly. I could feel his big balls on my ass and I quietly wished his was dumping his seed in me.

I turned around and grabbed my cock and started to stroke as I stared at him finishing up. His body was incredible, all ripped and thick. I let my hand reach out to his chest, hanging on to his nipple as I brought myself to my own conclusion standing in front of him.

And just as I was nearing my ending, the stud stepped into me and planted a hard, open mouthed kiss on me. I grunted at the sensation and started to shake as I violently shot my load sideways, pointing my cock away from him as his tongue rammed down my throat. His big hand came to my neck to hold me as I grunted down his throat. I could feel his grunts as well as I literally shook in his grip, finishing off my powerful explosion as my cum dripped from my hand and his dripped down my back.

Then he stood back, with a surprised look on his face, staring at me. “Fuckin hell.” He said quietly and grabbed his jeans to pull up over his deflated cock. Even soft it still looked big. He was definitely a show-er as well as a grower.

I grabbed my shorts and stepped back into them, not taking my eyes off this hunk as he moved to find his shirt. I watched his body move as he shook it, and then slide it over his head. His baseball cap never left his head the entire time. He shoved his hands in his pocket as he watched me shake off my shirt and slip it on.

“Sorry about the kiss.” He said quietly, his eyes peering at me.

I shook my head as I straightened up, pulling at my shorts, feeling like my ass was still gaping open. “Don’t be. Loved it.”

His eyebrows raised. “Yeah? I’ve never kissed a guy. Sort of got caught up in the moment there and wasn’t sure if you were into it.”

I smiled at him for the first time. “I was into it. I love to kiss.”

He half smiled at me, staring for a moment before he moved in fast again and grabbed my head and kissed me again. This one was a little gentler and softer, but just as deep and open mouthed. Holy fuck I thought as I closed my eyes and let the feelings wash over me.

But then he pulled away and turned and walked away fast, hands in his pockets, leaving me to watch his perfect ass in his jeans fade away. I regained my composure and walked after him, but he was on a mission and was heading back to the walkway and to his truck.

I followed at a distance, hoping that he might slow down by my car. But he walked right past it and headed to his quickly. When he got to the door he stopped and turned for the first time and looked back. When he saw me at my own car, he lifted a big hand in a wave and got in, starting up his truck quickly and driving away before I was even in my own car.

I sat there for a moment, feeling satisfied on one hand, and suddenly shunned on the other. I felt both relieved and guilty at the same time. And used. I did get what I wanted. Sort of.

But I didn’t even know his name. I turned to the spot he had driven away from and kicked myself for not asking for his name, or a way to contact him. I didn't want to have to come here again looking for someone. I found a guy. This guy was perfect. And I didn't know a thing about him.

I gripped the steering wheel and shifted in my seat, my ass subsiding from the pounding and making me smile. That felt good, I thought to myself. I knew it would. It's what I needed after all.

And something told me that night that I wouldn't be able to stop.