Boy Meets Discourse
Eli had convinced me to download some hookup app to see who all the hot queer guys were on campus. It was nearly 1 am and I couldn’t sleep. I was mindlessly scrolling through profiles. My roommate, Jacobi, was sound asleep. I think part of the reason I couldn’t sleep was because of Peter. It bothered me that he had a boyfriend, and that said boyfriend was a damn heartthrob.
Just as I was about to finally log out of the app, I got a message from a blank profile. I couldn’t judge it because my profile was blank as well. I wasn’t ready to put my face out there for all the campus weirdos to see.
Hey.
Hey.
You looking?
Looking for what?
Pic received.
I opened the picture, and there was my very first dick pic. It was nice, long, and uncut. Dark trimmed pubes made it look like something out of a porno. I quickly slammed the phone down. I looked around the room. Jacobi was still asleep. I don’t know why it made me nervous. I slowly picked the phone back up and took a look at it again. The pink head of his cock was slowly peaking out of his foreskin.
Nice.
Thanks. So you looking? Can I see a pic of you?
Maybe. What kind of pic?
Ass and dick!
I only got one. Why should I send you two? Lol
Pic received.
This guy was fast. I opened the picture, and there he was on his hands and knees. His firm, round ass was fully on display. His crack was slightly split, and I could see some dark hairs and his pink rosebud. The sight made my heart beat faster. My blood pressure spiked.
Wow! I’m kind of new to all of this. I’m not sure I feel comfortable sending out nudes. I swear, though, you have an amazing body. Can we just chat for a bit, or do you want to block me?
I want to see you naked, but a man with standards is such a turn on. We can chat for now.
Cool.
Eventually, I fell asleep talking to him. I jumped out of my sleep to the loud beats and lyrics of Kendrick Lamar’s “Not Like Us.” I quickly looked around my dorm room. Jacobi was standing near his bed with a towel around his waist. Water was slowly dripping from his body. He was moving to the beat and rapping along with the song. I instantly felt my blood begin to boil.
I jumped out of bed and stormed across the room. The little Bluetooth speaker was flashing various colors of light. I picked it up and powered it off. The music cut off, and Jacobi spun around. He glared at me and frowned.
“I was listening to that,” he said at me, because he was certainly talking at me.
“Yeah, well, I was sleeping,” I pointed out as I pointed toward my bed.
We stared at each other for a moment. He didn’t say anything. I assumed I had won that small little tiff. I went and jumped back in bed. I closed my eyes and just as I was starting to drift back off to sleep. The music started back up. I let out a loud groan. I sat up in bed, and Jacobi was back at it.
He rapped, “Why you trollin’ like a bitch? Ain’t you tired? Tryna strike a chord, and it’s probably A minor. They not like us.”
I wanted to curse the day he was born. Just as I was about to say something, he spun around facing me, and the towel dropped from his waist. I had a perfect view of his heavy, thick cock. MY heart sank, and I quickly fell back in bed and threw the covers over my face. One thing was for certain…I couldn’t deny that Jacobi had an incredible cock.
***
I stepped out of my dorm room and was instantly greeted by Eli. They had a wide grin on their face. My morning had started off rough, so I didn’t care to be around anyone in a good mood. I rolled my eyes with purpose, and they simply laughed.
“Well, good morning to you as well, sunshine,” Eli said as I walked away.
“No, it’s not a good morning. My roommate is an insufferable prick who blasted Kendrick Lamar at the crack of dawn and then used his incredibly sexy boy parts to make me lose the argument.” My voice was filled with rage and frustration.
“Time out. Boy parts? Are you fucking your roommate?”
I turned and stared Eli in the eyes. “Don’t be crass.” I was stern with my delivery.
“Don’t be crass? This is a queer liberal arts college in the North Pacific. It was built to be crass.”
“Just because something was built to be a certain type of way does not mean we have to lower our standards. We can rise above the gutter instincts of humanity.”
“HAHA,” they crackled at my statement. “Bitch, please. You should transfer to another college. Oh, but that would mean giving up on winning your precious Peter from his boyfriend. Which is definitely giving into your gutter instincts of humanity, which by your very definition is crass.”
“You call it crass. I call it manifesting my wants. There is a difference, Eli.”
“Yeah, you’re delulu. Face it, deep down inside, you’re one of us. A crass fag.”
He had me with his argument. I hated to be outdone, but Eli was quick with the clapbacks. So, I had to return the favor of being speechless.
“I’m not a fag. I’m a republican,” I whispered it like it was a naughty secret, but it was my truth.
Eli gasped and threw their hands over their mouth. I smirked, turned, and walked away. I took about ten steps before Eli was right back next to me.
“A republican and you’re black?”
“There’s more to me than my race, Eli. I’m multifaceted.”
“No! You’re MAGA!”
Eli’s voice carried louder than they expected or intended. The hall went quiet, and people stopped and stared at me. I felt out of my skin, and I felt judged. It was like everyone had eyes that saw through my soul.
“MAGA?”
I turned around, and Peter was standing there with this perplexed look on his face. He looked so handsome. I wanted to just throw my arms around his neck and kiss him over and over again. Only that was impossible with his boyfriend standing next to him, staring daggers at me.
Peter cleared his throat and asked, “Did I hear that correctly? You voted for Trump?”
I sighed, “I didn’t actually cast a ballot as I just recently turned 18 and he was already elected.”
“But if you could have, you would have?”
I had acted impulsively by admitting my thoughts to Eli. Despite my blame for how things were, people had no right to make me feel bad for thinking differently.
“Can we stop with all of the judgment, please? No one is without blemish in this world. Also, we have a two-party system in this country. Meaning that 1 out of 3 eligible voters voted for him. So, don’t look now, but I’m sure there a quite a few on this campus. Also, let’s not forget I voted for you when I slept with you, and look where that got me? Maybe my judgment is poor. Or maybe I respect my parents. Regardless, it’s my right to think how I think.”
As I pushed past them, I heard Sam smirk. Maybe he found my frustration funny. It didn’t matter to me. I just needed to get away and, honestly, get to class. The day went by without much drama. I made it to my last class of the day. My English Lit class was on the far end of campus. I took a seat up front, and when he walked in, I think everyone was amazed by how attractive he was.
“Good afternoon, class. I’m Professor Daniel Martinez, and this is English Lit. Here, your mind will be forced to expand beyond its current limits. Literature is the history of the world told through stories. It is a time capsule waiting to be uncovered, and we will uncover and explore all of the greats.” He said all of that as he wrote his name and rules on the blackboard.
He turned around and looked out at all of us. The man had a long face with a trimmed beard. His pink lips were thin, and his dark, bold eyes called to you in the wild. His skin was smooth, milky, and glowing. He was maybe 5 ‘9, but his body was tight. His fitted button-down hugged his lean body. You could see every definition of muscle in his ripped body.
“Many of you may think you know yourselves. You may think you have it all figured out, but you don’t. Literature, when appreciated, can open your mind to new worlds. It can push you to see differently and think differently. It can show you who you truly are. You will, by the end of this course, be forced to think about who you are versus who you were instructed or raised to be. Homework tonight will be to write an essay about who you are and why you are that person.”
He scanned the room, and our eyes met for a brief moment. In that moment, I just sort of froze. I felt myself being gently lifted from my chair and into the air. The tingling sensation in my pants brought me back to earth. I knew then it was going to be a long semester.
The rest of class went by uneventfully. I walked around the campus, taking in all the sights. I found myself sitting at the top of a hill. I was able to see across the campus from there. It was calm and peaceful. I opened my notebook and began to try and draft up rough draft of my essay. Nothing I wrote seemed to make sense when I read it aloud. I knew who I was, but I couldn’t explain it.
“It’s not easy growing up in a conservative family when the thing about yourself is something so liberal.” The voice came from behind me.
Before I could turn around, Sam took a seat next to me. He was the last person I had expected to see. For a moment, we were quiet. He stared out across the field as if he were searching for something that he could never find. I watched him carefully as I tried to figure him out.
“My family is conservative. Texas conservative,” he said. “I get why you support him. I can’t shake my upbringing either. Guess your math should have said two out of three voted for him.”
“Well, you couldn’t vote at the time,” I said with a little chuckle at the end.
“You’re right. I still don’t like you. So, don’t think this changes anything between us. I still see you as the guy trying to take my boyfriend.”
“Oh, absolutely. I have an entire plan in motion. You’re kind of helping me. This is part of my masterplan.” I told him as I slightly nudged him.
He looked at me and playfully rolled his eyes. “You’re so lame.”
“Maybe.” We both went silent for a moment. “I’m supposed to write this essay about who I am and why I’m the way I am. I really don’t know who I am. I was adopted at birth and raised by a very loving family, but no one looked like me in my family. I think I just became who I thought they needed me to be out of fear that if I were anything else, they would give me back.”
“You know, sometimes in life we just adapt to the environment. That’s what I did with my family, and I was actually born into my family. We decide if we can’t beat them, to just join them.”
“How is that being true to ourselves if we’re just playing along to get along?”
“Everyone can’t do it. So, for those of us who can, it shows just how strong our will to live is. We don’t stop being us, we just pick who we get to be ourselves with.”
Our eyes met, and for the longest time, there was silence, but also a calm peace between us. Sam wasn’t a bad person. He wasn’t my enemy. I was the bad person. I was the side piece, and I was trying to lay claim to a guy that was never mine. Looking into his eyes made me think.
I cleared my throat. “So, if I can’t beat them, join them at the game?”
Sam flashed me a smile. It was such a beautiful one. His smile could light up all the galaxies and beyond.
“Yeah.”
I let those words take root in my spirit. There was one person I truly needed to beat. That evening, I sat in the window of my dark dorm room. The rain was falling gently from the sky. The bathrobe barely clung to my body. I sat there writing in my notebook.
I heard the sound of Jacobi’s keys fumbling with the lock. I turned the music on in the room. Taylor Swift’s “Look What You Made Me Do” began playing. I stood up and dropped the robe from my body. I was nervous, but my naked flesh was on display.
The door opened, and Jacobi stepped in. He was looking down, and then he looked up. Our eyes met, and he chuckled just barely. He looked me up and down as he stood there unflinching.
I sang, “I got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined. I check it once, then I check it twice, oh. Look what you made me do.”
He dropped his backpack, and then he began to undress. My heart began to beat faster and faster with each article of clothing he tossed aside. I figured he’d feel some type of way about my loud music and being naked, and agreed to do better. Instead, he went a different route. He dropped his underwear, and we both stood there naked.
“You’re bold. I’ll give you that,” he said. His voice was low and filled with something unfamiliar.
He took a step closer to me. I nervously exhaled. He closed the space between us. I could feel his body heat radiating from him. It wrapped itself around me and held me in a way I’d never been held before. I looked up into his mysterious eyes. He gave me this cunning half smile that burned parts of me up inside. He licked his delicious pink lips.
I felt my cock twitch. I think he felt it push against his thick meat. He quickly wrapped his arm around my lower back and pulled me even closer to him. He pressed his soft, lush lips directly against mine, and my heart completely stopped beating!
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