Booty Call

I woke up on the floor of some dude's house with a screaming headache and one ear smothered against someone's skin. In the dimness of the room I opened my eyes and saw the polyester rug staring back at me. I tilted my head slightly and stared ahead at her landing strip bush practically shoved in to face. One flap of her vagina was sticking out from the other flap. My head was pressed against her inner thigh. Her other leg trailed off to the left, as if in mid-kick. 

I breathed in the plastic-tangy smell of recent sex. I raised my head and looked over the rest of her body. She was snoozing on the floor, a pile of clothes as a pillow, almost completely naked. She wore a darkish wife beater t-shirt. She was attractive enough. A number of other people were sprawled out beyond her, along the floor leading up to the couch, on which two figures seemed to be trying to get busy under a large blanket. 

I didn't remember anything. I stood up. I was wearing boxers but I wasn't wearing a shirt. I looked on either side of myself and didn't see anything resembling one of my shirts. I reached under thigh, pillow, smelly vagina, head and yanked out a white t-shirt. She stirred, but didn't wake up. I put the shirt on. It seemed masculine enough. I felt too ill to go looking for my pants. 

I found my sandals by the door and wandered out of the house. Thrash-Metal music played at a soft volume as I opened the storm door with a screen on it and stepped in to the morning. I licked my lips and swallowed to see if I could taste anything remotely like pussy in my mouth. I tasted only the Jameson I'd drank the night before. I wiped my mouth and a curly black hair came off my lips. It was obviously not a hair from somebody's head. It had a female twist to it. The cool air met me like a shield. 

There was a strip of orange running across the rooftops below dark clouds. It looked like the sun was overflowing from a bathtub in the sky. I wandered home, my headache failing to subside. 

I made a ton of booty calls later on that day. Chicks I'd banged a long time ago and hadn't spoken to in months or over a year, girls who I was just friends with, but who probably wouldn't want to be friends with me after receiving my strongly flirtatious text messages, and two chicks who I'd been keeping around. 

The second one of these two, Sandy said she wasn't doing much and that she'd come by later on that night. I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to just watch a stupid video and resort to calling on Rosie Palm and her five daughters that night (Rosie Palm is my hand and her daughters are my fingers by the way). 

I asked myself, “Where were ten foot butterflies found? And what color were their eyes? “ while I was waiting for Sandy. When she knocked on the door I answered myself, "Ten foot butterflies with baby blue eyes were found in the dreams of little Susan.” 

Sandy was tanned, half-Irish and had curly black hair. A sophomore, she wore a fake gold necklace that she claimed to have bought in Cancun. At my request, she rode on top of me cowgirl style. 

At her request, I let her chug from a bottle of Annie Greenspring wine while fucking me. It was incredibly hot. She looked down at me between swigs with the same smile she keeps on her face when you're telling her a joke, except with moans coming out of it. Sandy's moan style was great because there was a lot of breath in it. It was an even combination of vocal chords and breathing. She moaned on both inhales and exhales. This is how I like my women. 

Sandy shook her hair out of her face, cocked her head back and took a swig. She offered the wine to me once, but I shook my head. I bounced her up and down with one hand squeezing her stomach from the side of her torso. I wanted her more focused on fucking and less focused on drinking. With my other hand I reached in to the space between our bodies and rubbed at the upper part of her clit with two fingers, the part that had escaped penetration by my cock. My hand bobbed up and down in sync with her body. Her pussy started sucking on my fingers. I've always been fascinated by how gigantic most pussies are capable of becoming. 

Sandy's thighs contracted and retracted around my wrist. Looking at my wrist, I saw a blue vein throbbing under my skin. Watching her thighs push inward, I saw a blue vein streaking down one thigh and fading in to tanned skin. I wondered if the blueness of the vein in her thigh was contingent on the intensity of the sex she was having. I knew the blueness of the vein in my wrist was. 

Sandy was a one-woman symphony; she moaned, “Mmmmmmmmm,” a beat per second, her pussy kept making wet squishy noises and the bed sheets rustled as her legs bore down on them and lifted off. She looked straight ahead through squinting eyes…not at me but at my door…raised up the wine bottle in slow spasms and took a huge swig. 

I'm sure she didn't intend to cum simultaneously with wine glugging down her esophagus, but it was hilarious when she did. Her knees banged against my ribcage and the bottle popped out her mouth and smashed on the floor behind the headboard of my bed. She spewed all the wine that was in her mouth on my face and pillow and the sound it made was a really strange…female orgasmic noise/guttural throat sound/ liquid splashing on fabric /bedsprings creaking combo. Someone needs to record it. Play it in reverse and maybe it will say 'Paul is dead' or something. 

I cummed. 

While my cock throbbed inside her, Sandy groaned, “Uuuuuuugh,” and slung her head down. Her eyes were fully shut, her mouth curved open in a super-smile stained with wine. I stopped rocking her and let my cock throb for as long as it needed. Sandy's hair tickled my chest. I hoped, at that moment, that I would get her pregnant. Sandy's birth control would be canceled out by the wine and months later she would have my child. We would fuck every day while raising this child. Then we'd get divorced. 

"I'm sorry," Sandy said, freezing in place while my dick slowly went limp. 

She laughed a high pitch laugh and flung her hair back over her shoulders. "I'm so sorry, Trevor." 

The urge for sex was out of me by now. It had disappeared inside her and I thought of how I never, ever wanted kids. Kids were gross. 

While she cleaned up the broken glass from the bottle and the wine stains from my floor afterward, I lay on my pillow amidst a red catastrophe blotch, feeling really mellow and my cock still somewhat tingly, my eyes closed. I listened to the squeaking of the paper towels and Windex Sandy pushed across the floor. She wore her panties and her black blouse. Her panties looked rumpled and misshapen on her ass. I think she knew that she looked sexy. 

I shut my eyes and told Sandy about how I'd woken up that morning on some random girl's thigh because I had blacked out at the party and had no idea what her pussy tasted like, but that Sandy's tasted better, and felt better, too. As soon as I'd stopped telling the story, Sandy had stopped cleaning. She stood over me, just breathing. My eyes were still shut. 

Sandy said; "Trevor, you're a fucking creep, you know that?" A pause. "I'm not going to fuck you anymore. You need help." 

She put on her pants, charged out the door and slammed it. 

Before I fell asleep I thought about what that old song said…’If you want to be happy for the rest of your life…Never make a pretty woman your wife…So from my personal point of view…Better find an ugly woman to marry you.’ 

Perhaps that’s right I thought as I almost immediately fell asleep. 

The next day I went to one of my required psychiatry appointments. Deirdre, the psychiatrist, must have been about sixty years old. She wore clothes that looked even older. Even still, I bet that she’d been hot forty years before. I could tell that she had probably worn the same clothes forty years before also, and that guys probably loved it. 

Deirdre and I fell silent after talking about my Dad and how I didn't want to go home to him that summer.  How I didn't think it was fair. We had about ten minutes left. She asked me about my love life. I shrugged and said, “Its fine.”

She asked me again and this time I didn't answer. 

We ended the session early. 

I’d met this woman on Craig's list so instead of going home I asked myself, “How many guitar pickers are there in Nashville,” as I went to buy her vintage Gibson guitar. As she invited me in I told myself “the answer to "How many guitar pickers are in Nashville" was 1,352.” 

She was forty, gorgeous and friendly. When I got there she invited me in and we got to talking. She offered me a Schlitz and told me, “I’m alone for the week. My husband is away on a business trip.”

I got the feeling she was coming on to me. She crossed her legs, exposing her thigh.  She had on a cute summer dress.

Like always I was horny so I took a chance and started touching her thigh.  She apparently liked it because she didn’t push my hand away or pull her leg back.  

Going for broke I went to my knees on the floor in front of her and started kissing her leg and inside thigh. 

She pushed me away and I cringed because I’d went too far. 

She stood and turned with her back to me and asked me, “Unzip my dress.” 

As the zipper reached the top of her ass, she let the straps slip off her shoulders and the dress fall to her hips. Turning her head to look at me, she dropped the dress to the floor, leaving her in bra, a cute pair of baby blue lacey kind of Victoria Secret panties and CFM heels. 

As I watched, she unhooked her bra and let it fall off her shoulder, down her arms to the floor. 

Then while I gawked at her bare back and imagined what her bare breasts looked like, she reached down and slipped her thumbs in the waist band of her panties. A second or so later she was lowering them off her hips, exposing her shapely ass.

Turning back towards me, she sat back down. Spreading her legs she exposed her beautiful all natural pussy. I immediately went back down to my knees and took a swipe with my tongue.  I felt her meaty lips spread. They were medium sized pink with a darker outline.  Very sexy and she smelled great.

Then I spread them wider with my thumbs and started sucking and licking those delicate pink lips. Twirling them in my mouth, I spread her legs further apart.  

She started to moan, “Uuuuuuuuuum,” as I went for her clit. I flicked my tongue across it and then gently sucked on it. It tasted like a USDA prime ribeye steak. 

In awe, I continue to lick her from the top of the clit down to her lips. As they spread with excitement I slid my tongue inside her. And then out and downtown to her asshole, tracing it with my tongue.  By now she was extremely wet and quivering.

I went back to the clit. Just above it I found her sweet spot and licked until she shook like a magnitude three point nine earthquake.

And when she stopped shaking, she gushed out a hot stream of water or woman juice. It was clear and salty. She squirted all over my face and screamed, "Oh, Ohmigod Yessssss…yesss." 

I tasted it and found that liked it. It reminded me of the Atlantic Ocean.  I ground my face all over her pussy and she climaxed. It was over.  She’d cummed. It was so wet I needed to take my shirt off.

She told, “I haven't done that in eighteen years.”

I never fucked her but I wanted to.  

For now I just politely said, “That was fucking amazing,” and took my Gibson guitar and left her there wet and soaked. But she has my phone number so I'm hoping she’ll call me back for more and then reciprocate.

I took my guitar home, washed my sheets and took a nap. When I woke up all I could say was, “Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop, who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong? I have the answer do you? The answer to, I don't know but I'd like to shake his hand cause he made my baby fall in love with me".

Have you ever banged a skinny girl? I have and I loved it. Her name was Linda. I picked her up the club where she danced and took her home. Skinny girls are the best. I did her standing and with her laying on the bed with her legs hanging over. Pulling her ass right to the very edge of the bed, I spread Linda’s legs wide and gazed upon the most perfect pussy that I’d ever seen. The wetness of her arousal glistened upon her clean shaven lips. Her opening expanding and contracting just a little as her panting breath lifted and dropped her tight stomach and abdomen. A low, beast-like growl emanated from deep down in her throat and I felt her shudder a little in expectation.

When I entered her I could see my dick under her skin going it seemed like all the way up to her navel. It was so freaking hot. When I was all the way in, I could feel her heart beat on the head of my cock as my balls bounced off her tight little ass. I watched her eyes roll into the back of her head as I slammed into her tight little pussy. There is nothing better than splitting that tight little pussy in half with every thrust and hearing them moan, “Oh mama,” over and over as she cummed.  She could feel her orgasm throughout her entire body.

I will definitely be trying to hook up with her again.

Nothing makes you horny like a good fuck session so the next day I texted Sandy about a booty call.  But she’d been serious the other night so no deal.

Saturday night I wondered, “How many teardrops are too many teardrops for one heart to carry on?  Ninety six Tears,” I answered as I went to my part time job. 

I guess no booty call put me in a bit of a snit because I was sharp to some of the customers. But do you know what really drives me fucking insane? When I tell these fucking men in the private viewing booths that as long as they have money in the slot and the monitor running I'll leave them alone. But no, they don't fucking listen. I don't understand what’s so hard to comprehend about putting a fucking dollar into the god dam bill reader. Then they think I'm stupid as fuck too. Like I don’t have a fucking light that indicates when there is money in their machine. 

It’s been a long day at work and I'm so fed up. 

Or when I tell them there’s no smoking and they lie and tell me they’re not smoking. Like do these mother fuckers think I have no sense of fucking smell? I know what smoke looks like and I know what it fucking smells like. 

I'm starting to think all men think everyone else is as dumb as them.

I have a friend Kevin that I've known since grade school. Over the years we've done shit. We're average straight guys. After the Sandy incident I was on a dry spell for a month or so. They felt sorry for me so Kevin and his girlfriend Mary Lou set me up with Angela, one of her friends. We met at Kevin’s house because he has a hot tub. There was just the four of us. One thing led to another and Kevin fucked Mary Lou and I fucked Angela, my blind date. 

The next weekend I was invited back over, but this time no set up. This time Kevin and I both ended fucking Mary Lou. That happened several times over the next month. 

Then as the song went, Mary Lou, she took my (Kevin’s) diamond ring, Mary Lou, she took my (Kevin’s) watch and chain Mary Lou, she took the keys to my (Kevin’s) Cadillac car, jumped in my (Kevin’s) catty and she drove off far".  

After they broke up, Kevin and I would find other girls to tag team. I was able to strike a few deals with girls, "if I do a MFM you'll do a FMF for me," which fulfilled my greatest fantasy.  

But one of the MFM sessions the girl Amber wanted to watch us suck each other off, so we did. It is something I had thought about but if I wanted Amber’s hot body so bad I was willing to do anything. 

I was nervous and excited. I wasn't sure how to make it happen, but my buddy Kevin was very comforting and understanding.  He seem to know exactly where I was coming from. He started out with his hand on my thigh, which almost made me jump right out of my skin. By the time my hand made it to his thigh, Kevin had unzipped and was pushing his pants and undies down. I followed suit.

This was it. I was staring at and about to touch another man's cock, for the first time in my life. Damn, I hoped Amber’s pussy was worth it. As we stared at each other, I managed to take hold of it. I must admit that as surprised as I was, I was shaking from the lust that ran through me and I was also a little bit scared. Once again, Kevin’s calm soon had me relaxing as he leaned into my lap and took me in his mouth first. It had been several weeks since my last blow job, so I was soon spurting my load as my hips bucked. I just kept cumming and cumming until I had to pull Kevin’s head off my cock as it was so sensitive. 

It was now or never for me, and I wasted no time in diving face first into Kevin’s lap. I held another man's erect cock for the first time and took the time to lick him and take in the scent. I slowly stroked his shaft and opened his slit as I kept licking him. He softly moaned, “Uuuugh,” and squirmed, letting me know he was enjoying my exploration. His cock was hard, yet the skin was so velvety soft. His cockhead was the spongy hardness I expected, but much warmer than I’d expected.

I continued to lick him as I took his whole head into my mouth. Kevin was quite thick and my lips were stretched to take him in. It just added to the moment. It felt so natural as I slid my lips further down his shaft. My mouth was full and his cock felt so good as it went deeper. When my nose was buried in his short hairs, I knew I had taken him fully. I had no intention of being able to swallow his whole cock, yet I did. 

It was then that I realized Kevin had his hands on the back of my head and was slowly and gently humping my face while verbally encouraging me. There would be no stopping me. I’d started this and was going to finish it. I was soon bobbing up and down in synch with his hip movements and soon felt his grip tightening on my head. His movements became quicker and more determined. Kevin’s moans turned to grunts. Pretty soon he stiffened up and his dick got harder and bigger in my mouth. I felt him quiver. My first load of another man's cum was on its way.  I sucked for all I was worth and kept sucking until suddenly his dick started to pulse and squirt into my mouth. His cum tasted a bit bitter, but I swallowed it.

Was Amber’s pussy worth it? I don’t know. She was so repulsed by watching us that she dressed and left. I said, “You told us to do it.”

“I know,” she said, “But I didn’t real think you’d do it.”

Was it everything I expected it to be? It wasn't bad. We both swallowed. After that when there wasn't a girl around, and we needed to discharge, we'd help each other out. We both prefer to be with a woman, we're just taking care of business. 

What I don't get is Kevin and I will all be getting down in a MFM and I might stick my cock in his mouth or he might stick his in mine. The girl almost always freaks out. I don’t get it. I would be so turned on to see a girl go down on another girl while in a FMF. 

The end…



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