Barracks Bitch

Assmunch

“Fuck, my ass hurts.” Sleeper groaned.

“Shut up you big baby.” I snorted. “You forget, I know what kind of pain that is. It’s the kind that reminds you over and over how hard you shot your load while your shitter got destroyed. Every spike of pain damn near makes your dick hard all over again. And you feel proud you took it all the way.” I helped him climb off the crates and handed him his flimsy bikini briefs. “If you don’t feel tougher because you took that beating, you aren’t thinking of it right.”

Zeus and I, not having undressed, just flipped up the waistbands of our respective bottoms, my shorts and his sweatpants neither of which left our thighs.

Sleeper paused. “Yeah, it does kind of feel like that. I never thought getting fucked would make me feel like more of a man. That’s fucked up though.”

“It’s just sex.” I shrugged. “Some things make it better. Freeing your mind is the only way to really get the most out of it.”

Sleeper crossed his arms. “Still not sure about the kissing. No offense, Zeus.” He offered. “It’s just too…. “

“Personal?” I suggested when he paused.

Sleeper gestured apologetically. “Yeah. Like I’m supposed to get all soft and mushy with a dude. But that’s not how I feel.”

I reached out to squeeze my best friend’s shoulder. “Fair enough. But Zeus was driving that bus, the kissing was for him, not you. You did something that let him enjoy it more so it’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

Zeus chimed in with a determined, unapologetic blunt observation. “I wanted to kiss you.” Which, Zeus being a God, put an end to that and I knew if we ever did this again Sleeper was just going to deal with Zeus’s tongue down his throat. Zeus’s overwhelming presence made denial a non-option, like trying to refuse a second beer, or hitting on a hot chick when her boyfriend’s back was turned.

“Let’s go crash. I’m worn out.” I changed the subject. We didn’t need to prolong this clandestine meeting. Tomorrow we had studying to do, laundry, barracks maintenance and housekeeping because we’d probably be getting an inspection at some point. That was another fact of life we had to deal with here. Being quartered as a unit meant keeping our shared space up to Army standards and regulations. Other posts didn’t have to put up with that beyond Basic, the detailed micro inspection of a D.I. Yeah, it was expected that the common areas of dorm style quarters were clean and orderly, and room inspection happened IF you gave your superiors a reason, but it was nowhere near the insane expectations for a barracks.

I opened the door a crack to make sure the coast was clear. No one was in the hallway. I darted out, closing the door behind me. Just as I got to the corner, Puta walked out from the door down the other direction that led to the toilets and showers. Fuck! Anyone else I could distract back to the bunk bay, and I hoped Zeus and Sleeper were smart enough to space out our leaving the storage room. But Puta was a stubborn ass who ferreted out manipulation like a cadaver dog sniffing out a dead body.

I made sure to barely acknowledge him, putting the thought in my head that I was just finishing up the party cleanup, and kept walking around the corner. Believe the story in your head and your body wouldn’t give away nervousness or deception.

“Ay, Puta, why you no done yet?” Puta said from behind me.

I gave him a half-lidded gaze, signaling I didn’t want to deal with his crap. “I AM done yet, Puta.” I walked a little faster, hoping it would lead him away from any position he might see Zeus or Sleeper exiting the storage room. “Getting all that shit put back to hide our stash takes as long as it takes.”

As we entered the bay where we all slept, I realized the flaw in my story. Only four racks were empty. And I know Puta saw that too. Sleeper’s, mine, and Zeus’s racks were the only ones not slept in, appearing untouched and perfectly regulation.

“Yes, Puta. Doin’ dat takes a while. Hmmmm?” The Puerto Rican sounded like he was making a threat.

Oh, I didn’t like that. That was not gonna happen. “You got a problem, Puta? Something on your mind?” I looked directly in his eyes, challenging him to meet me on my level. Physically, Puta and I were sized equally, his bravery was all mental and if I had to I would put him in his place and remind him why I was Squad Leader. He didn’t scare me. That’s the bonus of having closed off every emotional feeling you possessed - I just didn’t give a fuck. If Puta wanted to dial things up, I could crank up my dial until he realized he wasn’t going to win. The dead, unflinching look in my eyes seemed to shake him. He looked away. It was critical that he didn’t say out loud what he might have been thinking, because there was no path back from that.

“I don’t got no problem, Assmunch.”

“Maybe I heard wrong. Sorry for jumping, brother.” Always give them a face-saving out, a way to keep their pride. His use of my nickname rather than calling me Puta was his apology. Ah, the dance we had to do to maintain the fiction, let a man remain unimmasculated, and keep anything REAL from getting within arm’s length. He fired his passive volley, I put it back in his face, he realized he’d put himself in a no-win situation, apologized, and I forgave him all without saying any of that explicitly. But I was still irritated that he wouldn’t have dared pull that shit with Zeus or Sleeper. My intuition flared up and told me that there was a sliver of a possibility I had read it wrong, but it wasn’t enough to bring me to the point of saying anything. I did make sure my gaze never left him, watching him walk to his messy bunk and climbing under the blankets, the entire time I was reading his body language for clues to what might have given him the ballsy courage to challenge me. He appeared suitably cowed, so I turned to head to my rack when Zeus entered the bay.

Keeping my voice low, but still enough for Puta to hear if he was listening which I knew he was, I said “Why are you still awake, Zeus? I thought you’d be asleep by now.” God, I hoped the giant could read between the lines.

Zeus’s eyes darted to Puta’s bunk behind me, and I relaxed. He had to have heard us talking. “I had something to do, Assmunch.” Perfect. Almost dismissive without even a hint of any other emotion. Zeus wouldn’t lie, which was what I was afraid of the most - that nerve-wracking habit of blunt inappropriateness. But I should have known in such a public space with all the brothers present Zeus would revert to that calm, unruffled dangerous tight-lipped personal shield he wore like an unassailable fortification. I really needed to learn how to do that… it would have stopped Puta before he even got out of the gate with whatever he was thinking.

“Well let’s get some sleep.” I said, going to my rack.

It took me less than a minute to fall into an exhausted sleep.

* * * *

The next couple weeks passed with me trying to keep my composure after the run-in with Puta. I had to warn Sleeper and Zeus to lay low. It wasn’t so much Sleeper I was worried about in that regard, but Zeus because puppy dog Zeus had no restraint. Thankfully they both got the message. Every once in a while I’d see Puta staring at me or watching Zeus and Sleeper as if trying to puzzle out whether what he suspected really happened, and between who. Puta wasn’t the sharpest crayon in the box, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out three of his squad disappeared at the same time for no good reason. I think he was confused about how it could involve either of those two because neither was a guy you’d believe could do anything with another guy. We got lucky I suppose, for a number of obvious reasons. One, that it was Zeus, Sleeper and me who were under his scrutiny -the three brothers you didn’t want to mess with. Two, that with three of us it made it difficult to know which two were fucking around and if he guessed wrong it wasn’t going to go well for him to expose the wrong guys. I could read that much in his stares, him trying to do the math and fit the puzzle pieces together of who might do what with who. Three, that none of us acted any different than we always did. Zeus stayed quiet, kept to himself. Sleeper remained the confident arrogant prick who flaunted himself. And me spreading my attention around to everyone who needed help with our current training section, catching screw ups before they caught Sarge’s attention, keeping the Squad and the Bravos on task and focused which meant I didn’t need to spend more than brief moments with Sleeper or Zeus who both had an exceptional handle on their training. And four, the most important one of all - he had no proof. He hadn’t seen or heard shit, not even us leaving the storage room together.

That didn’t mean it wasn’t weighing on me. We only had a few weeks to go, and then we’d be broken up and shipped off to our new permanent station, folded in to our new battalions where we’d become true soldiers. Of course I blamed myself a little for being so careless. I made the decision right then that there wouldn’t be any more meet ups.

But when it all came crashing down, Puta wasn’t the problem.