An Explanation: R.I.P. DJFMonkey

Sadly DJFMonkey has unexpectedly passed away.

DEDICATED READERS PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING ENTRY. 

Many of you have noted the absence of DJFM from the website in recent weeks, now that the initial shock (or Christmas Holiday) is over, I feel I must explain, especially after all of the concerning emails that continue to show up in DJFM's email. I’ve had some time to think and reflect.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Donald, on December 14, 2023 my life changed forever. Over the past few days (weeks), I tried to ignore all of DJFM’s emails, and even this website, but I finally broke down and read some of his emails. I finally felt the need to explain to those of you dedicated readers that you deserve to know more, below is a short recount of that awful day. I am amazed at the number of emails from the regulars as well as new ones showing everything from concern to anger for the next chapter and everything in between.  Please note this is the toughest thing I’ve had to face since that day, but I’ve resigned to the fact I need to do this to help heal.

You knew him as DJFMonkey or DJFM, his family and friends knew him as simply DJ, to me his real name was Doug (mainly because my initials are also DJ and I hated that name growing up). I’m a very private person, and find this extremely difficult under the circumstances, to share part of our life with you. In fact I forbade him to use my name, or any of our life experiences in his stories, although I have to say I’ve detected several very familiar things throughout his writing.

On that evening Doug wasn’t feeling well, he told me he loved me, and that he was going to bed, (something he recently revealed in recent readers comments that he made sure he always said every day, and he really did) and he went to bed early.

For those of you who knew, Doug had suffered a severe shoulder break in an accident, some 14 or 15 weeks earlier. Oddly enough three weeks earlier, I too broke my arm in a parking lot fall. We were both in a tough situation, so not feeling well was more the norm rather than the oddity, neither of us thought anything of it.

I finally joined him in bed sometime after midnight, his phone by his side, no doubt answering or replying to readers. He seemed to be sleeping quite soundly for a change, as he groggily rolled onto his bad shoulder and snuggled into me. He put his arm around me as we spooned, his good right arm wrapped under my casted right, and his right hand buried between my chest and the mattress. A sleeping spoon position we had much difficulty achieving in recent weeks due to our unfortunate conditions, so it felt so warm and comforting that life seemed to be getting better for him (or us) even though my arm was still somewhat heavy and uncomfortable.

It was extremely Unusual that I woke in pretty much the same position, thinking it was odd that he was still in bed, as he was always an early riser, besides many sleepless nights since the accident. It didn’t take me long to realize that something was very wrong, (it was almost like he wrote the ending) and the worst day of my life began.

He had passed away during the night (heart related). The love of my life, my soul mate, was lying in the bed next to me lifeless, yes I refused to believe it, and continually tried to wake him. (I’m balling my eyes out right now here again, as I’m typing/reliving this) and true to his word his last words to me the night before were “goodnight, I love you”.

He was 67 and I 68, we both retired a few years ago at 64 and 65 together, he was the kindest person on earth, he worked hard all his life, mostly in management or sales, he gained respect from all his coworkers, employers and employees over the years, and to this day he remained friends, and/ or stayed in contact with almost all of them. This time of year was especially tough for me, as it made me wonder how I could tell them all, as their annual Christmas cards kept arriving at the house after that day, (we had already sent our cards out, so no one could possibly have known what was to come). He’d offer the shirt off his back or help anyone in need of help, be it with home repairs, yard work, carpentry, helping any and all neighbors in need, pet sitting, baby sitting, just about anything.

On that note we were opposites, he grew up in a very large loving family with wonderful life experiences, me in a broken family and being rejected, him very outgoing, me quite withdrawn. He would answer every single letter, card, phone call, text and email from friends or readers with a reply. He was dedicated to being that person for as long as I knew him. Many of you knew his stories usually revolved around smooth young blond Twunks or Twinks with blue eyes, I, on the other hand was also opposite even that, 68, with a dad bod, brown hair, graying temples, with a graying goatee.

One thing he had always hinted that he wished for was a cute little sports car (his midlife crisis).  I never truly knew how truly badly he wanted it, it was always just a wish, until I actually got him one for his 65th birthday as a surprise, and only now wished I done it 30 years sooner. He loved driving the hell out of that thing on our back winding mountainous roads, here in upstate New York. He loved hiking, boating, camping, bicycling (in fact he has 3 bikes), and at least once a year we’d splurge on a destination full luxury vacation resort.

We made it a point to travel the country over the years and he had visited 49 states for work and pleasure, Canada, Mexico, and much of the Caribbean, except Alaska that we were planning on a future trip that we never got around to planning. We loved to travel and eventually had Europe on the radar too.

The man was my rock, and now you know more about us than I ever thought I’d reveal. I know he meant a lot to many of you readers, all I can ask is, if you read his stories, please re read them, if you haven’t read them, I ask you to do so.

He had many unfinished stories started, and several almost ready to post once he did his final editing, I will post whatever he had done enough of ( Politicians Son" Chapters12-16) and ("He was my first" Chapters 1 and part of 2), in the upcoming days, just keep in mind many still have paragraphs and punctuation errors, that I’ll try to fix and fill in, I know from your emails that your all anxiously waiting for a conclusion to his current story, in addition to another one he started.

Sadly he had begun an outline of a series that was near and dear to his heart but hadn’t really written enough of it yet, which was the continuing story of Dave and Josh as adult parents, as I know many of you had been begging for the continuing saga.

Please read the new chapters, as I get to posting them (I’ll try to clean them up a bit) and please continue to comment as I will read them and somewhere somehow I can only hope he will too.

I will monitor his email for a while, but ultimately I’ll need to move on, I’ll try to answer as many as I can I’ll never forget him but the reminder is just too painful right now.

God I miss you so much right now!

Thank you for all your kindness and support, Especially "Rob Lil Guy" and his support who encouraged me to actually go through with this

Donald J.