Among Friends

“I got something big for you” said the smoldering Puerto Rican teenager in a white wife beater and red sweatpants packing his bulge that he was tugging. He said this me as I passed him in the gay back-room section of a Times Square porno store on 8th Avenue between 41st and 42nd Streets. It was January 1979.

To my family and high school friends, I was a good boy who read all the time and watched a lot of movies. I was quiet and shy and didn’t talk about or have much to do with girls. “You like girls, don’t you?” asked my grandfather.” “Yes.” “Good, ah you got time for all that.” Inside, I knew I’d never have time for that. I didn’t like girls, I liked boys, I’d known that since the first grade when I obsessed over another boy. I wasn’t a good boy, I was gay. I wasn’t fascinated by Farrah Fawcett’s rack; I was fixated on John Travolta’s crotch.

I was medium height, had curly blond hair and blue eyes. I was hung up on my looks, I’d been a chubby kid. When I was 16, the physical education teacher handed out a little calorie count book. A light bulb went off in my head. For the next three months I followed the calorie counts of food, keeping myself to less than 1000 calories a day. I lost 50 pounds in three months and was skinny! Still, I was uncomfortable in my skin. Now, when I look at pictures of myself from that era, I see an 18-year-old who didn’t know he was beautiful.

A few months earlier, after seeing a Broadway show, I’d worked up the courage and gone into the porno store for the first time. It was filled with ordinary men. I went to the gay area; I bought a Jock magazine because the young guy on the cover was so sexy. I also bought a few paperback novels with lurid covers and titles like “Come Hungry Cruisers.” I snuck them back to my room in my family’s Bronx apartment. I learned about cocksucking and ass fucking from these volumes while jerking off. That’s what I knew I wanted, to suck cock and get fucked.

On weekends, I had a job handing out flyers for a furniture store. My co-worker Jeff was four years older; he was dark-haired, muscular and handsome. I met him because his sister and my younger sister were friends and he got me the job. We both liked science fiction movies and we’d go to the movies. He had a Super 8mm projector and I’d go over to his room and watch movies he collected. Sometimes, he had another friend, Stu over. He was also early-20’s and beefy. Once, Jeff put on a straight porn movie. This busty girl took on two hunky guys on a tennis court. Jeff and Stu made lewd comments, I was quiet. 

After work, I’d go by myself on the subway to the porno store. I’d gathered up the courage to go to the gay backroom, to the buddy booths. I’d put quarters in the slots to watch the silent porno films. I saw young guys like myself sucking other guy’s cocks and getting fucked up the ass. I’d ignore the looks of the other men at me, I’d come and go and head back home after I’d had enough viewing.

That was until that Saturday night when the teenage Puerto Rican hustler in a white wife beater and red sweatpants, made his offer to me. Here was my chance! I was aware men had sex in those booths, but how could I? I could, this was my big chance to do what I had been craving.

“Uh, yes” I whispered to him.

“20 bucks” he said.

That was more than I made in one day handing out flyers! I reached into my pocket, went into my wallet and got the sole $20 bill and gave it to him. He opened the door of a booth and I followed him in with my heart beating rapidly. Oh God! I was going to do it! I was finally going to suck a dick!

He stood with his back against the wall, pulled down his red sweatpants, he wasn’t wearing underwear, his big hard uncut dick sprung forward, his large hairy balls flopped down.

I got on my knees; the floor was filthy. After reading and watching porn for weeks, I knew what to do. I opened my mouth; I curled my lips over my teeth and began licking his dick, then putting it all in my mouth. Oh! The smell and taste of it was intoxicating. I thought I’d pass out tasting his salty thick drop of precum. I was on my knees before a man for the first time. He stood there in silence, I looked up at his impassive face, this meant nothing but $20 to him, to me it meant everything. I suckled his balls then went back to sucking his dick, I thought I was doing a good job. After about five minutes, he took his dick out of my mouth, pulled up his red sweatpants and left. I lay panting on the floor. I’d done it! I sucked dick! I left, went home and jerked off thinking about what I’d done.

Now, at school I looked at my classmates and friends differently. My fantasies of sex with them were more vivid as now I’d actually sucked dick. Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone what I’d done. Faggots, cocksuckers and queers were the slurs shouted through laughter or anger, hurled at those who were known to be gay. It was bad to be gay.

Saturday, after work I was back at the porn store. My hustler from last week wasn’t there. I found another. He was also a Puerto Rican teenager. He was wearing light gray gym shorts with a bulge and a matching short sleeved shirt.  

“I’m interested” I said.

“20” he said. I had a bill already in my pocket and gave it to him. I followed into a booth. He pulled down his gym shorts, no underwear, a big hard uncut dick popped out and great balls flopped down.

Oh, to be on my knees again on that filthy floor with a dick in front of my face again felt like being in heaven! This was what I was born to do! My lousy father had run out on me, my mother and my sisters years ago. Was that why I was a fag? That I didn’t have a father to take me to ball games and tell me about what to do with girls? I’d love to find my father in whatever bar he was in and yell, “Thanks Dad! I’m a faggot! Your son sucks cock! Aren’t you proud of me?!”

I breathed in the hustler’s sweaty scent and then tasted his dick again, more precum. I worked on his throbbing piece with my lips and tongue, swirling it on his balls. After about five minutes he pulled it out of my mouth, put it away and left. Damn! I so badly wanted to suck a man off until he came in my mouth like in the porn movies, I wanted to swallow cum.

This time I didn’t run away. I walked through the hallways, past men standing by booths. There was an older white guy (I later learned he was 28) in button fly jeans and a red plaid shirt. He had short brown hair and a mustache. He looked into my eyes, he tugged on his ample crotch. I nodded and followed him into a booth.

I got on my knees, he undid the buttons of his fly and wow! His dick was a little shorter than the hustlers’ but his was thicker, he held it before me, a thick gleaming white slab of flesh, framed by balls the size of a bull’s. His cock had a fat head with a glistening slit. I opened my mouth wide and went to work on it. “Good boy” he whispered in a deep voice as my tongue slathered his shaft, while I fondled his awesome balls. I tried deepthroating him like in the movies, but I gagged, I went back to licking and sucking. He patted my head, “You’re such a good boy…” he moaned as I kept at it. “Fuck! I’m going to cum!” Oh yes! My throat felt his jerking cock, then there were blasts of his hot thick cum. I was choking and swallowed most it, some poured out of my mouth and dribbled to the floor. He redid his pants. I sucked off a guy for the first time! There was no greater achievement.

“I’m off on Mondays” he said, handing me a white business card, handwritten in pencil it said: Mike (212) 555-3019 355 West 45th Street 2RS. “You’re adorable, I’d love to see you again.” “Ok” I said taking his card. He patted my head and left. I got up off the floor. I walked around. There was a nice-looking guy in a suit looking at me. I smiled and nodded. I followed him into a booth. He unzipped and took his dick out. It wasn’t as big as the others but was nice. I sucked him off. He left in silence. It was getting late, I took the subway home, I had trouble sleeping, I was so excited! I sucked three dicks!

Monday, I spent the day in high school fantasizing about Mike and his cock, I wanted it again. The day of classes ended. I went to the payphone in the lobby, I dialed Mike’s number.

“Hello” growled a tired voice.

“Uh, we met on Saturday, I was the young guy who blew you.”

“Oh, yeah sure!” laughed Mike.

“You said to call you.”

“What’s your name?”

“Steven.”

“So, Steven, wanna come over?”

“Yeah, I’m leaving school.”

“Great see you soon.”

I went to the subway, I got off at 42nd Street. Even in daylight 45th between 8th and 9th was pretty grim back then. I found the building old dumpy building, I rang the buzzer, it rang back. I walked through the dim greasy hallways and up the stairs. It smelled like someone was cooking. I got to 2RS and knocked. Mike opened the door. He was wearing blue gym shorts and no shirt. His small living room had a couch, off to the side was a weight bench and weights.

“Want a beer?” Mike asked.

“Thanks.” He handed me a big can of Olde English. I didn’t drink much, so each sip got me buzzed. He shut off the television which had been playing a Mary Tyler Moore Show rerun. We sat on the couch drinking beer. Mike lit up a Camel. We sat in silence; Mike finished his cigarette. He reached his head over and kissed me on the lips. He tasted of beer and tobacco. I’d never kissed anyone before. I did my best with my tongue and lips. I felt his stubble brushing against my face. We made out for a while.

“Suck my dick like a good boy.”

I put down my beer on the table, I pulled down his gym shorts, no underwear, there was his big fat dick on his muscular nude body. I happily opened my mouth and went to work. Mike lit another Camel and puffed on it as I sucked on his cock.

“You’re getting me so hard! So, Steven do you want to get fucked?”

I nodded my head with his dick in mouth.

“Have you been fucked before?”

I mumbled no, as his dick was in my mouth.

“Great! It’s going be so much fun popping your cherry.”

He took my head off his cock. “Take you clothes off.” I got off the couch and took off my clothes, shoes and socks.

“You’re so fucking beautiful!” he said as I stood nude in front of him with my hard cock. He led me to the tiny bedroom. “Get on the bed on your hands and knees, arch your back and raise that sweet ass up.” I did what he said.

“Steven, this is going to hurt like hell, but you’re going to be so happy when it’s done, you won’t be able to wait to take cock again, I can tell. Trust me.”

He reached over to the night table, next to a big jar of Vaseline was a little brown bottle, he opened it. “Smell this, it’s poppers. It’ll make you feel good…” Whoa! I inhaled, my head racing.

Mike opened the Vaseline jar, he stuck a finger in, he coated my twitching asshole. He put more on his finger and put it in my ass. It felt so good having my ass played with. Soon, he pulled it out. “Take another hit” he said putting the poppers under my nose. I was flying. I saw him grease up his cock and walk behind me.

“Pretend you’re taking a shit, unclench your hole, relax.”

I tried to do what he told me as I felt his fat cockhead rub against my hole.

“AHHH!” I yelled as I felt it going into me.

“Awww, it going to be okay.”

His tip was in me, then he slowly got more and more up my chute. I was crying from pain and joy. Somehow, my insides stretched around his long fat rod. I was aware of my straining dick and dangling balls. His pubes were now brushing against my butt cheeks as his whole cock was in me. We were both breathing heavy. Mike slowly pulled his dick out to just the head, then he slowly pushed it back in. He pulled it back out to the head again.

“Kid, you’re ready to get fucked!”

This time, Mike rammed his cock real fast into me. I was still howling, but it felt better. He repeatedly kept shoving his cock in and out of my ass, I heard and felt his balls slapping against my ass cheeks. At 4:30 in the afternoon, I was getting fucked! Just like in the porn movies! This went on and on, I was loving it!

“AHHHH!” I wailed as my dick shot off like gallons of cum on the plastic sheet on the bed.

Mike kept hammering away at me, then he yelled. My insides were now getting blasted with his load. He pulled out and there was whoosh sound. He left and came back with two more beers. We drank and he smoked.

“That was so fucking great!” he said.

“Yes, Mike it was. Thanks for fucking me.”

“It was my pleasure, let’s get you cleaned up.”

He showed me the shower stall in the kitchen. I saw gobs of Mike’s cum streaming from my ass going down the drain. I got out of the shower and the man who had just broken me in, toweled me dry with his big hands. I got dressed.

“Well, I’m glad you stopped by cutie” he said patting my no longer virgin ass. “Call me whenever you want.” Mike was a bartender at a West Village bar and was always off on Mondays, he liked to spend the day resting, chilling out and fucking.

I stood during the subway ride home, my ass hurt too much to sit. I’d really lost my virginity and was so happy.

The next few weeks were exciting as I went to classes, did my homework and called Mike every Monday afternoon. It was a mutually beneficial situation. Mike got a cute teenager to suck his dick and to fuck. I got a sexy strong hung man to dominate me with his cock.

Mike took me under his wing and taught me about being gay. Now, I wore button fly jeans, plaid shirts and a jockstrap instead of underwear, that displayed my back and front in my jeans, showcasing my ass and basket. Wearing it also made it easier to get fucked. He gave me a big brass keyring; I wore it in the rear right pocket of my jeans, like he told me to. This was a code that I was gay and that I was submissive, that I liked to get fucked. The ways to keep my ass clean were explained to me, that was very important since I planned on being sexually active, ready to be fucked any time. He instructed me in the art of cruising. How to look into a guy’s eyes and project that I was interested and available for sex.   

My life was compartmentalized between school and sex. I no longer had to pay hustlers for dick at porn stores. Guys would grope my ass through my jeans. Now, besides getting on my knees to suck cock in buddy booths, guys would pick me up and spin me around. I’d undo my jeans and get fucked from behind as I bent my body forward. I learned to take dick with just spit, while inhaling poppers. I felt so alive!

One night, I was in a car with three of my straight high school senior friends driving back to the Bronx. Once a month or so, we’d get half-priced Broadway tickets, have dinner in Manhattan and see a show. It was always exciting to do stuff in Manhattan. That night we ate at Mama Leone’s and saw Neil Simon’s Chapter 2. I liked it; it was always thrilling to see actors live on stage.

On the way back, I was always the first one to be let off. My friends lived in further, better parts of the neighborhood. This night however, the car stopped and parked by the Jerome Park Reservoir. It was midnight, there was no one walking around and few cars driving around.

“Not only did my older brother see you in a porn store, but he also saw you go into the gay room” said Brendan in a quiet voice, he was sitting next to me in the back seat. He was thin, dark-Irish and sexy.

“Yeah, so?” I didn’t care anymore about hiding what I was.

“So, you admit it?”

“Yeah, I admit it, everything your brother says is true.”

“Hey! We always knew you were a fag; we could tell by the way you stare at us” said John in the passenger seat. He was a burly Italian American. “We looked the other way and let you hang out with us anyway, we felt sorry for you on account of your parents and being poor.”

“Now that’s it out in the open, we’ll settle this here and now” said Brendan. He unzipped his jeans, undid his belt, rustled through his white underwear and pulled out his big, beautiful cut cock and stunning pair of balls. He sat there grinning while he stroked his dick.

I put my head down in Brendan’s lap, I put my friend’s dick in my mouth. I began licking his awesome cockhead and shaft. It was all out in the open now.

“Whoa!” yelled John. “He wanted to get in our pants all along!”

“See! You can’t help it! You are a fag, for sure!” laughed Brendan. “Mine sure isn’t the first dick you’ve sucked!” I did his balls with my tongue. He was moaning as my head bobbed up and down on his dick as I deepthroated it. Let him call me a fag, I was a fag.

 “Fuck!” Brendan bellowed as he thrust his hips and his dick went further down my throat. There was gushes of his hot cum flooding my throat, I swallowed every drop. Brendan fixed himself up and got out of the car. There was no more bullshit or hiding what I was, I followed my destiny.

John took his place next to me as Brendan went to the passenger seat. John unzipped, undid his belt, fumbled with his white underwear and pulled out his fat cut hard cock. I bent my head down and sucked him off. He left and Eric took his place. Eric was a short thin and mild-mannered Jewish guy. He took his nice-sized dick out and I sucked him off. He got back in the driver’s seat as Brendan again sat next to me. The silence was eerie as Eric drove, he pulled up in front of my building, I got out.

The next day at school, my three friends ignored me. They didn’t say hello, they looked thru me. I was going to sit next to them as usual in the cafeteria, but they put their heads down. I got the message and sat somewhere else by myself. This went on for the rest of the week. Right, they now looked down on me for sucking their dicks, fuck them, that was their problem.

One night after school about a week later after that night in the car, I was in my room watching Merv Griffin while doing homework. My sister knocked and said someone was here to see me. I went to the apartment front door, there was Brendan.

“Let’s go for a ride” he said. I followed him out, there was Eric’s car. Brendan opened the rear door, I got in. Ronald, his older sexier brother was sitting with his great dick out. I sat next to him, I put my head in his lap and began sucking his dick. Why the fuck not?! That’s what they came for, that’s all I was good for to them.

Brendan was now sitting next to me; he took his dick out. As Eric drove, I switched off between the two brothers’ dicks with my mouth. Ronald came first, I swallowed him. Then I swallowed Brendan. Eric parked by the reservoir. Ronald and Brendan got out and Eric and John took their places and took their dicks out.

“Yeah, I saw you all happy in that porn store going back to where the fags go to suck cock” said Ronald as I was sucking Eric and John’s dicks. “I told Brendan right away that you’re a fag and he might as well make use of you. Boy, was I right! There’s fags at my college, I get a lot of head.”

“You sure were right!” laughed Brendan.

“He told me how you took everyone on, I had to see for myself” said Ronald.

John and Eric each came, and I swallowed them.

“Do you take it up the ass, too?” asked Ronald.

“Yeah, I’m a fag who takes it up the ass! See, my key chain shows guys that I’m up for getting fucked! I wear a jock so I can get fucked faster!” I shouted.

“Eric stop the car! Get the fuck out you sick faggot, walk yourself back!” yelled Ronald. Eric stopped the car.

“Whatever” I shrugged and got out. “Good idea, Ronald. I can find more guys to suck off! Thanks for a lovely evening!”

“Yeah, you sick fucking faggot!” cursed Ronald as he got out. He punched me in the stomach, I fell to the ground.

“Hey! That’s enough!” yelled Brendan who got out of the car.

“I going to teach this bitchy faggot a lesson!” Ronald yelled as he dragged me up.

He threw me on my stomach into the back seat of the car and ripped off my jeans. My ass cheeks and hole were framed by the white straps of my jock. I heard Ronald spitting and heard him slicking up his hard again cock. Then I felt his cock as he rammed it into me from behind. He thrust rapidly in and out of me. Talk about a hate fuck!

“You like that faggot?! You like getting fucked by a real man?!”

“Yeah! I like it! Go on, fuck me like a real man!” I howled.

I was turned on by it all and it did feel great, being fucked by someone who hated me. Plus, Eric and John were watching this all from the front seat and Brendan from nearby. They were watching me getting fucked.

“There you go faggot!” roared Ronald as he came in me.

Ronald then grabbed me out of the car and threw me onto to the sidewalk. I lay there as the car took off. I pulled myself together and walked home. I jerked off in my room, the scene with Ronald had been thrilling.

“I’m sorry about my brother, he has a mean temper. We’ll drive you back after, I promise…” said Brendan, at the door of my apartment a few days later.

“That’s cool, we’re good.”

I went with him to Eric’s car; he drove to the reservoir. I was sucking Brendan’s dick in the backseat, he pulled me off after a while.

“We want to go all the way.”  

“Sure, your brother showed you how to treat a fag.”

“We brought this” he said, reaching into a brown paper bag and pulling out a jar of Vaseline.

“How thoughtful.”

I undid my jeans, put some Vaseline on and in my hole, got in position on the backseat, on my hands and knees, ass up. Brendan greased up his cock with Vaseline. He began fucking me, I reached into my pocket for poppers, it was bliss. The rear door opened, John was there with his cock out, stroking it. He presented it to me, I sucked him as Brendan fucked me. With my straining hard dick and full balls encased in the tight jock, I was shooting off in it from Brendan fucking me.  

Brendan came, John took his place. Now I was sucking Eric as John fucked me. John came, then mild-mannered Eric took out his pent-up aggressions on my ass with his cock, he came. I, and the backseat were a cummy mess.

“Steven! Come here!” I heard Eric say in an uncharacteristically tough voice. I pulled up my jeans and went outside. He was by the trunk.

“Here” he said handing me a bottle of Lysol and some towels. “Clean everything up, this is my family’s car.”

I wiped the backseat spotless. Brendan sat beside me glowing from having satisfied himself on me, Eric drove me home in silence. So it went, they ignored me at school but picked me up to get blowjobs and to fuck me. We never went to dinner and shows again.

“They were never really my friends; I can only be friends with my own kind” I said to Mike after a fuck session. I told him what had happened. “We were guys together in high school, that’s all. I love to suck dick and they wanted blowjobs, I’m just a cocksucker to them now, that’s okay. That’s all it can be with straight guys; they’ll hate me but want me to suck them off and fuck me. I’ll be graduating soon and won’t see those jerks anymore.”

“You’ve matured. You’ve gone on about your straight co-worker, you should make a move on him...” said Mike.

“Hey, let’s watch that movie with the chick on the tennis court” I said to Jeff when I was in his room.

“Oh, ok. We can watch that” said Jeff oddly. We sat next each on his bed.

There was that chick in white fondling two hot players’ cocks, then she took turns sucking on them. I watched the screen and heard Jeff breathing heavy. Then I heard the sound of a zipper and a belt buckle. I looked over, Jeff had his big cut dick out and was stroking it with eyes focused on the screen. I bent my head down to his lap and put his dick in my mouth. I gave him a great blowjob as I really liked him. He moaned as he came in my mouth, I swallowed his steamy load. I sat back up. We finished watching the chick getting fucked by both players. “Well, goodnight” I said as I left. I saw Jeff a few days later at work. We carried on as if nothing unusual had happened.

“Good for you!” said Mike the next time we were together. “Now, get him to fuck you, you both want it…”

The next time I was at Jeff’s, we were watching a chick in a schoolgirl uniform seducing her teacher, she had his dick in his mouth in no time. Jeff had his dick out and was stroking it in no time. I bent down to his lap and began sucking him. I stopped sucking, I got up and took off my jeans, I was wearing a white jockstrap, like Mike told me to wear. I got on the bed on my hands and knees ass up. Jeff got up and got a bottle of lotion. In the darkness as the porn flick played, I saw him grease up his cock, then I felt the lotion dribbling on my ass.

Jeff slowly began entering my ass with his cock. He got it in me and began fucking me. He was a great lover, he held my hips and pounded with me a steady rhythm. I came in my jock. Soon, Jeff was grunting and cumming in me, blasting my insides with his cum. He pulled out and put his jeans back on. I did the same. The movie ended; the lights went on. I said goodnight and left. I walked home with my ass leaking in my jeans.

I saw Jeff in his room once a week, we fucked and never spoke about it. One night I went over and there was his husky friend Stu. Of course, Jeff must have bragged to him about me. I sat in the middle, no one said anything. We watched another straight porn movie; they soon had their dicks out and I soon was taking turns blowing them. I got into position on the bed, they took turns fucking me.

I saw Mike once a week and we fucked. I blew my “friends” whenever they wanted it. It didn’t stop with them. The first such incident was when I went to the school men’s room to take a piss. There was a guy pissing at a urinal. “Wanna blow me?”

“Huh?” I had wanted to keep my school life separate from the rest of my life.

“Hey, John told me you’re a fag and easy.”

“Sure, I’ll blow you” I said. Why the fuck not? He was good looking, and I saw he had a great piece. We went into a stall, and I got on my knees and sucked him off. I was soon busy in that bathroom a lot. Word spread. “Hey, Brendan told me you…” “I heard from Eric…”

“Thanks guys for spreading it all over school that I’m a fag!” I said in Eric’s car one night after I’d blown them, and they’d fucked me.

“Ah, you know how it is” sheepishly said Brendan.

“What? That you all bragged to your buddies about me and now I’m the school slut!”

“Hey, stop complaining!” barked John. “Why shouldn’t our friends be in on the action, you are a slut.”  

When I’d walk home from school, often a student in a car would stop and ask me to get in to give them head, some of them even wanted to fuck me. I always got in and gave them what they wanted. In classes, guys would look at me and put a pen in their mouths and mime going down on it and laugh. They weren’t laughing later in the bathroom; they were moaning from me sucking their dicks. Girls in the hallways would point at me and giggle together.

One bitch even came up to me, “Faggot, stay away from my boyfriend, Donovan!”

“Honey, your hand jobs just aren’t doing it for Donovan, so he comes to me for head. Have a nice day!” Her face went red as she turned away.

I’d always hated gym class because I used to be chubby and was embarrassed about it, especially having to be around all the athletic jocks and afraid they’d know I was hot for them. Now, I looked forward to it. After attendance, I’d sneak off back to the locker room. Guys would sneak back to the locker room one by one, the gym teacher never noticed anything. They’d pull down their gym shorts and whip it out. I got lots of prime young jock dick down my throat and up my ass. It was all quiet and basic.

For the last two months of school, I embraced my reputation as the school fag who was always good for a blowjob. This even happened at home. Sometimes, my sister would get me from my room because someone from school wanted to see me. It was guys wanting blowjobs or to fuck, I’d do them in my room. Jeff’s friend Stu came over often. Luckily, my single mother worked nights at a McDonald’s and wasn’t home. 

One afternoon when I was in the kitchen, my mother answered the door. It was our next-door neighbor, crabby old Mrs. Langer.

“You should know that your son is a fairy!” shrieked nosy Mrs. Langer. “He brings boys over to the apartment while you’re at work. Ha! I can imagine what he does with them from the sounds that go on! You should tell him to cut it out!”

“Mind your own goddam business!” yelled my mother as she slammed the door shut. My mother never said anything to me.

One night my sister got me from my room, there were two hot cops in blue uniforms at the front door! They looked tough in their caps; their badges gleamed. Hanging from their belts were billy clubs, handcuffs and guns. I was so nervous and so hard; cops were powerful gods to be respected and admired, they risked their lives to protect us. They were strong men whom one obeyed.

“Your neighbor called the precinct with a complaint about you, the captain sent us to investigate” said the older one who was in his early 30’s, the other was mid-20’s. The older one did all the talking.

“Am I under arrest, officer?”

“We’d like you to talk to you in private.”

“Come in, officer.”

They followed me into my room.

“We get it, you’re a mixed-up boy without a father. Growing up with no male role model made you abnormal, you can’t help what you are, we come across a lot of boys like you” said the older one. I guess he was really into his psych classes at the police academy. “You have your needs, and we have our needs, understand?”

“Yes, sir, I understand.”

“Good, we’re going to get along” the older one said as he sat on the edge of my bed with his legs spread wide. I got on the floor between his legs, I saw the wedding ring on his finger. I undid his belt, unzipped his blue uniform trousers, pulled down his white underwear, there was his big hard white cop cock, brown bush and hairy balls. I opened wide and began sucking him. I looked up and saw his cocky grin as he smoked a cigarette while he was getting his dick sucked, he reveled in his power. He finished his cigarette and pulled me off his dick.

I reached into the night table and got a jar of Vaseline and handed it to him. I got on my bed on my hands and knees, ass up. That cop gave me one of the roughest fucks ever, the whole scene was so hot. I was blabbering from pleasure.

“No wonder that old biddy called the precinct!” laughed the cop as he kept fucking me. “She’s gotta listen to you yapping like this every night! You’re real busy, aren’t you? You put out for any guy, don’t you! Oh yeah, you can’t get enough! So, fucking tight! Vinnie, get over here and give the kid something keep him quiet.”

“Yeah, sarge.”

The younger one went over to my face, unzipped, I could see his wedding ring, he fished out a big piece of white meat. I sucked his dick. I was getting it from both ends by two sexy cops! I felt myself cumming in my jock. The older one grunted and shot off his load in me. He pulled out, the younger one took his place, he fucked me fast and came in me.

“Clean us up” barked the older one who was smoking another cigarette.

“Yes, sir.”

I went to the bathroom and came back with towels and a pail of warm soapy water. They sat on my bed smoking as I wiped and cleaned off their cop dicks and balls. They stood and zipped up.

“One more thing, come with us” said the older one. I followed them into the hallway. The older one knocked on Mrs. Langer’s door, she opened it.

“Ma’am, we’ve investigated, and we’re satisfied nothing unusual is happening. Don’t call the precinct again, understand?”

“Yeah, I understand!” she quietly said. I smiled at her.

“Oh, ma’am, you should look into getting a pair of earplugs.” She shut her door. “We want you to keep doing what you’re doing. You’ll be hearing from us…” They left but returned at least once a week for more.

A few nights later, I was in the hallway throwing out trash down the chute. There was that nosy old  bitch, Mrs. Langer!

“Hey! Thanks Mrs. Langer for sending the cops over! Been wearing your earplugs?”

“Such a joker, you fairy! I see the police car parked outside; I know what you’re up to!  Shame on you!”

“Have a good night…”

“Hey, mind if I join you?” said a guy in the school cafeteria, I was sitting alone as usual. He was Benjamin, who’d been in a few of my classes over the years. He was cute, thin and dark-haired. We hadn’t become friends because he was openly gay. How crazy was that? I was gay but didn’t want to associate with him because then people might think I was gay! Benjamin always dressed stylishly, was in the drama club and came from a rich family.

“Listen, Steven I heard guys talking about you” he said as he sat down.

“Oh, what were they saying?”

“That you’re having sex with them.”

“I hope that they said I was good!”

“That’s not the point!”

“Sure, it’s the point! I’m not invited to parties or in the fancy school clubs, I’m not going to an Ivy League school. At least I can be proud of my cocksucking!”

“You should be more dignified about being gay, that’s all. If you want to talk about it or anything else, I’m here for you. We have to stick together.”

“Oh, be dignified! Please! You’re too good to suck dick on toilet floors or get fucked in cars!”

“That’s right, I am too good! I suck dick on Persian carpets, and I get fucked on satin sheets!” We both began laughing. And so began my closest and deepest friendship. The bond between two bottoms who don’t have sex with each other and who care for each other is strong. They understand each other and aren’t judgmental.

Benjamin and I would go to the movies together, not science fiction, but art movies like foreign ones. We’d go to fancy restaurants, one just served crepes. He took me to Bloomingdale’s and showed me what kind of clothes to buy so I looked good. “You have a great body; you should dress better, not always slutty.” We went to East Side gay bars in our khakis, polo shirts and loafers.  We’d get picked up by older guys, separately or together for three ways. We weren’t embarrassed by having sex in front of each other. I got to see that Benjamin was quite the cocksucker and could take a rough fuck.

We even went to Studio 54; it was as great as they say it was. We got let in, we were young, cute and well dressed. Famous people were everywhere, who cruised us. Guys bought us drinks and chatted us up. We had our eyes on a famous actor a few years older than us, we chatted him up. He led us to the balcony. We all did his cocaine and took turns blowing him. Benjamin made him cum, and got a prize, a gram of coke in a vial. We shared it in the taxi back to the Bronx.

The best was when I brought Benjamin over to Mike’s. Mike was overjoyed at having two young mouths on his cock and two young asses to fuck side by side. Benjamin and I stayed friends through so much.

I met up with Benjamin one night at Madison Square Garden, we were going to see Billy Joel, he was cool then. Earlier, I had been messing around with guys in a nearby porn store. I was still in my gay uniform, plaid shirt and tight jeans showing off my ass and basket. We were online at the bar for drinks. Holy shit! There was my father! He was with a young blonde, his latest girlfriend no doubt. He had money to take bitches out, but not for his family. My father was 37, he looked like the young Nick Nolte, he was a sexy bastard.

“Hey! Dad! It’s great to see you out and about!” I said in a loud voice. He looked me over with disgust as I stood next to Benjamin. Did he notice the cum stains on my jeans? I hoped so.

“Oh, jeez! You turned into a real fag! Have a good time with your boyfriend!” he sneered and turned away.

“Yeah Dad, I’m a fag! Thanks for everything!” He was gone. “It’s okay” said Benjamin. I guzzled the first of several vodka and sodas that night. The next time I saw my father was decades later at his funeral. My sister kept in touch with him, and she told me when he died, I went for closure. In his coffin, he looked like the old Ted Kennedy.

“Ma, I know you know but I have to say it, I’m gay” I said to my mother the day after high school graduation, and I told her my plans.

“I’ll always love you; things were hard. Take care of yourself…”

Instead of going to the city college I barely got into because my grades were bad, I moved to Manhattan. Mike got me a dumpy apartment in his building, and he got me a job at the bar he worked in. I started as a barback, hauling glasses. I worked my way up to waiter and then bartender. Mike and I eventually bought our own bar, then another and then a nightclub, we were friends and business partners with an occasional fuck for old times’ sake. I became a prominent nightlife figure and a fixture of the gay charity scene. I spent my life with my people. I bought my mother a condo in Miami Beach.

I never saw my high school friends after graduation or those cops. I stopped seeing Jeff after I moved to Manhattan. From my sister, I heard he got married, had kids and eventually a nervous breakdown and lived on disability. The younger cop was killed in a shootout years later, the older one retired to Florida and posts crazy Right-wing shit. Ah, when I knew him he was a sexy beast.

In 2004, I went to my high school class 25th reunion held at the Penn Club, I was a great looking 43-year-old successful gay man. I brought my lover of 10 years, Enrique. He was a 35-year-old former boxer who fucked the shit of me with his enormous Puerto Rican cock whenever I wanted it. We were dressed up in dark suits. I saw lots of guys I’d blown and who’d fucked me when we were teenagers. In my mind, I had flashbacks to those times and remembered what we did and what their cocks were like. Some guys looked better than others now. They were all with wives or girlfriends.

We went to the bar to get drinks.

“Hey! Steven!” said Eric who was with the others, he was a big shot at Morgan Stanley.

“Hello Eric, this my lover, Enrique.”

“Great to see you, and to meet you” said John to me and Enrique. John was an insurance company executive. “I have a gay nephew and he told me all about what you’ve accomplished. I said I knew you in high school, he was really impressed.”

“Well, Steven always had a great head on his shoulders!” laughed the now tech tycoon Brendan.

“Don’t you all know it!” I laughed. “Tell Ronald I said hello, see you around” I said as Enrique and I went to a table with our drinks. Benjamin, now a major casting agent and Martin, his lawyer lover of eight years, were at the table.

“Actually” said Brendan coming over, “We all talked it over and thought we could keep the reunion going after this event ends.”

“Oh?” I said.

“Yeah, I’m in from San Francisco, I have a suite at The Peninsula. We thought you could come over. You’re invited, too Benjamin. I remember you from high school. It’s a shame we never got together then, I’m sure Steven told you all about us” he laughed.

“Of course,” said Benjamin, who had that look on his face I knew so well, he was interested.

“Enrique and Martin are invited as well. Ronald will be there.”

“Well! That settles it!” laughed Enrique as he squeezed my hand on the table. “Right?”

“What about your wives?” I asked.

“Mine is in San Francisco, with four kids it tough for both of us to get away” said Brendan.

“Mine is home on Long Island, she wasn’t interested in coming, we have three kids” said John.

“Mine is in London, I’m chief of operations there. She didn’t want to make the trip; we have three kids” said Eric.

“Well guys, join us! I heard about that night in the car with your brother” said Enrique to Brendan, he, John and Eric as they sat down.

“Oh, I’m glad those days are remembered, they were great. We helped make Steven what he is…”

For the next two hours we had fancy food, drinks and mingled. On a screen was projected slides of the students, teachers and the school from our era. There we all were at 18. The event wound down; the seven of us walked up Fifth Avenue to The Peninsula. We entered Brendan’s lavish suite.

“Hey, you guys finally made it!” laughed Ronald. “Great to see you again” he said as he shook my hand.

“Likewise,” I said.

“Well, we should get ready” said Brendan, handing Benjamin and I each a white jockstrap and a pair of kneepads.

“You always took charge, Brendan” I said.

“He learned that from me” laughed Ronald.

Benjamin and I took our clothes off and put on our jocks and kneepads. Brendan, John, Eric, Ronald and Martin got undressed. They were all affluent men in their early 40s who took care of themselves and were in great shape. Enrique was 35 and had his boxer’s powerful physique and the biggest dick.

The nude men took their places in chairs arranged in a circle, surrounding Benjamin and me. I gazed at those familiar cocks that the men were stroking with anticipation.  

The atmosphere was charged with lust and conviviality, we were reunited after 25 years. I was drawn to Brendan and went to him first and began sucking his cock, while my mouth was busy, my mind was flooded with memories. Benjamin was sucking John’s cock. I was a successful businessman who ordered people about, but it’ll always be in my nature to be on my knees groveling for cock. And these were special cocks.

“Shit! I remember him prancing around school in those loud clothes, back then it never occurred to us to go after the obvious fags” said John as Benjamin sucked his cock.

“He was too piss elegant anyway!” laughed Martin, Benjamin’s lover.

“Not Steven!” laughed Ronald. “He was a slut right out of the gate! Fucking him in the back of the car really put him in his place!”

For the next hour, Benjamin and I crawled around on our knees sucking everyone’s cocks multiple times. A flushed Brendan got up, the nude men with their hard cocks slicked up with Benjamin’s and my saliva and their balls swaying confidentially marched to the bedroom. Benjamin and I followed them.

“I haven’t seen Vaseline in over 20 years!” said Benjamin to me when we saw jars of it, there had been developments in lube since.

“A touch of the past” I said.

Benjamin and I took our positions on the plastic-sheeted bed on our hands and knees, ass up, facing each other. For a welcome eternity, our six men took turns fucking us, I lost count of how many times I came in my jock. Everyone came a few times; the room was wrecked. Brendan no doubt would leave a large tip for the housekeeping staff.

We all took showers in the marble bathroom, then put on red velour robes and adjourned to the living room to wind down after the special fuckfest. We drank Dom Pérignon, Brendan, Ronald and the other men smoked cigars.

I remembered Long Day’s Journey into Night from a high school English class and its last line:

The past is the present, it’s the future too…