Alphabet for Gaydemon

A Reference

Dedicated to the memory of the pioneering work of Noah Webster, Jr.

A is for APERTURE, of which most bodies have two of principal interest, one above the waistline and to the front and another below the waistline and to the rear. The latter, known also as ASS is centered by an ASSHOLE, a pejorative often applied to obnoxious persons. This is unfortunate, the physical ASSHOLE being a warm receptacle for objects both natural and manmade. Care must be taken not to confuse the two, lest ACCESS to the desirable be denied.

Versatile, A also is for ANALINGUS, which is oral-stimulation of the ano-rectal region involving kissing, licking and penetration of the anus (colloquially called RIMMING).

Note: ANALITY is the locus-focus of this author’s deep research and verbally artistic output.

B is for BOTTOM and BUTT as well as for BOY, BITCH and BIRCH, the last a focus of the BRITISH particularly as a tool of education and general discipline. A BOTTOM or BUTT is a generalized area with functions which include recreational use and which may be the target of BIRCHING and FELCHING, a not-uncommon practice among certain subpopulations of men who have sex with partners of their own gender. 

B, as in BLOW-JOB, is colloquial for FELLATIO.

B is also for BUZZ, a rapid technique for intercourse unique to the character of Afzal Chaudhary in this author’s novel, Young Edwin on Amazon.

B also is for BROWNING – no, not the poet but an act of the BUTT, the word deriving from maritime practices of yore when BOYS as young as eleven served under wind-sped sail and were initiated to seamanship in a ceremony known as TAKING OF THE BROWN. Work it out in your own mind, you naughty thing.

BOY SCOUTS, a bankrupt organization once elegantly wholesome for its quiet, warm exchanges of precious bodily fluids, now vilified by money-hungry douchebags and dirty-minded double-dealers.

For BELLY BUTTON see NAVEL.

For BONDAGE & DISCIPLINE see SADO-MASOCHISM.

C is for COITUS, an act of widespread popularity interchangeably called INTERCOURSE. Most often employed to describe heterosexual activity of an erect PENIS within the confines of a VAGINA but also of said organ within the mouth or RECTUM of either sex; also for CUNNILINGUS, a practice employing the tongue around and in a CUNT (performed by breath-craving MUFF DIVERS) for stimulation of its recipient – an act in and of itself sufficient for LESBIANS but which may serve as a preliminary to hetero- or homosexual COITUS.

C is also for COCKSUCKING or FELLATIO (cf. BLOW-JOB) which is performed by a COCKSUCKER or FELLATOR.  

As well (and well it should be), C is for CUM, a simple crudity of vocabulary representing EJACULATE.

D is for DESIRE, a universal force as powerful as gravity, which draws us toward horizontality for sexual purposes. Often, it involves intermediary stages and emotional upheavals including FRUSTRATION (a condition so serious it leads to single-handed methods of relief, said to work wonders for the wrist.). Thwarting natural DESIRE are myth-mongers masquerading as zealots and law-makers seeking to control the human condition by religious and legal hocus-pocus. If Eugene O’Neill’s and Irwin Shaw’s movie Desire Under the Elms had featured Burl Ives screwing Tony Perkins under the trees it would have been much better. Tony Perkins actually liked to be screwed. One of his lovers told me. And no, I’m not going to tell you which one, but I will tell you that he also screwed Tab Hunter yet did not extend love to him.

D is also for DADDY, a nice, older man with candy and more. Humor him and keep your own counsel about it. DADs desire DALLIANCE, so enjoy it. Those who are good at it may be granted subsidies.

E is for EGRESS, the necessarily inevitable retreat from INGRESS which characterizes certain forms of sexual activity. These complements are directions performable in a variety of positions of partners and are feasible at any speed whether constant or variable according to instinct and intention. 

EJACULATE, another E-word, is the four-syllable label for the pearlescent product of male orgasm, a complex fluid bearing SPERMATOZOA in amphibious frenzy. A lot of E-action may be found among this repository.

This brings me to EROTIC LITERATURE, or FRICTION FICTION – the avowed purpose of Gaydemon, the home away from home for my stories and those of many others.

F is for the famous four-letter word FUCK which, with SHIT, is part and parcel of parlance from youngest ages to death, and perhaps beyond. Who knows? Its meanings and usages proper and improper are too copious to chronicle here. 

F also is for FELLATION, the practice of ORAL SEX which when overenthusiastic, causes CHOKING and GAGGING; also for  FLOSSING which you must do if you’ve been face-first on an unplucked chicken (and before you next smile at someone who will not be jealous. They’re out there.)

G is for GOLDEN SHOWER, a phenomenon not of the weather, wet nonetheless and smelly.

H is for HYPOCRISY, the VASELINE of SOCIAL INTERCOURSE – pervasively practiced especially by elected officials; also for HUSTLER and HUSTLING, terms used for honorable social workers and their professional means of dispensing bodily favors. Persons with icky bods and necks like cranes must expect to remunerate these vendors plentifully. Cf. this author’s stories about Donny, Jimmy, and Ossip here. See PROSTITUTE and PROSTITUTION.

H is also for HYPERBOLE, of which writers can never have too much (Consider the present one); also for HOMOSEX, a miracle in the experience of life and its meaning.

I is for INGEST, to consume by swallowing into the stomach especially EJACULATE and/or URINE. The sense of taste may be involved and comparisons made which can lead to conclusions about the provider’s diet. Ask any receiver how asparagus affects outcome.

J is for JACK-OFF, an act of manual self-help which others may prompt or which may be discovered by one’s own initiative. Consider it a privilege of maturation while bearing in mind that it can be the starting point for more meaningful activities (which will come to mind when something in your rear at the same time tickles nerve endings you didn’t know were there).

K is for KNOCKOUT, the punch you will receive when you’ve gone too far with an unwilling member of your sex who is bigger, stronger, and faster than you.

L is for LIBERTINE, a sport of a fellow who loves to live it up lasciviously; also for LOLLIPOP, an infantile sobriquet for anything applicable to the oral cavity, especially to lapping by one or more tongues during ORAL SEX PLAY most likely as activity preliminary to FELLATION. 

L is also for LUBE of which there are many types to ease sexual friction, the most natural of which is SALIVA. Products with bases of oils, silicone, and water-solubles have replaced petroleum derivatives and, like the SEX TOY industry, provide gainful employment for many and are highly profitable for concerned corporate types and their socially-conscious investors.

LOVE, the "many splendored thing" of song, is an elusive, illusive emotion hoped for, seldom found, hard to hold onto. So, use ropes.

M is for MOTHER, as in OEDIPUS COMPLEX and panty-play-pussy-poke passion. Definitely a PERVERSION.

M is also for MASTURBATION, the diddling of oneself which, if practiced too assiduously, may require dogged determination to obtain the desired result. Overwrought young may request help from elders willing, usually generously, to volunteer their services.

N is for NATURE, mother of us all, and for NURTURE, about which there are theories in conflict with DNA’s double-spiral inheritance. Commonsense should inform our acceptance that the two can be brought into congruence for a life of cunning prurience.

A NAVEL, in or out, is the evidence that we, unlike Adam and Eve, were born. Curiously, navels have always been shown in paintings of the First Couple.

O is for OPEN and is the OVIOD shape of a mouth ready to receive a cock; turned on its side, the OVOID shape of a BUTT-HOLE which has been opened many times by cocks – both shapes form in anticipation of being filled, it is hoped, to comfortable capacity.

O is also for ORGASM, a form of RAPTURE known widely to GAYDEMON readers (for all the right reasons); also for ORGY, a multi-participatory event designed to promote ORGASMS. Think community engagement. Yeah, man.

P is for PENIS, PRICK, and PRONG, the male organ (called, in earlier times, the PETER). It is a poignant thing when its head droops but a proud warrior when standing firm in the causes of pleasure. By any name, the male organ inspires PROMISCUITY, the happy desire to spread one’s PROCLIVITIES among the many. 

Also for PROSTITUTE and PROSTITUTION, deemed among nitwit societies to be PROSECUTORIAL.

Equally so for PRIVATE PARTS, a limiting term. Constitutionally, you probably may keep them to yourself (and, if you’re an old fart, should); but, if you’re young and comely, then consider making them PUBLIC, available to others who will appreciate their sensitivities and appearance.

P also is for PORN, a video industry of vast importance to individuals whose minds crave its stimuli and of financial reward to its producers when the PULCHRITUDE of participants and PLAN for their participation promote puffs of pang-filled PLEASURE. The literature of PORN pays poorly or not at all, which explains why most of it is worthless muckscape (except for those who are hard-up or want to be hardened via verbalosity).

QUEEN, pronounced KA-WEEN, a flamboyantly tacky person who lights up any room with her bangles, baubles, and ballsy humor, usually formally gowned and wearing both bouffant wig and loads of lipstick. Her eyelashes weight several ounces each. Nobody, absolutely nobody has sex with such a person. Dressing and behaving that way is what QUEENs do in lieu of sex.

R is for RECTUM, the most natural receptacle for ithyphallusized organs seeking temporary residence and/or exercise space. Use of the rectum thus does not cause gagging.

S is for SEX TOY, a term for a manufactured or improvised aid to SEXUAL EXPERIENCES alone and in company with others. Numbers are limitless, materials and designs, too. 

S also is for SHIT which everybody produces in one form or another. As a derogative noun, SHIT is interchangeable with FUCK and nearly as frequently employed as CRAP. 

S is for SIZE, a matter of scale to bodily projections such as female tits (ugh!) and male DICKS (whee!) over the matter of which hope springs eternal.

SADO-MASOCHISM is a broad category under which comes BONDAGE & DISCIPLINE. Consensual or not, these involve real or apparent danger/violence in which disproportionate power thrills and some form of misery begets pleasure, usually EROTIC. When practiced as forms of sexual play, SM/BD set aside aplomb for the contrast of master and submissive or subordinate. Nuanced, they score high on both Fahrenheit and Centigrade scales.

T is for TITILLATE as in ‘You can oscillate a tit a lot but you should not titillate an ocelot.’ 

T also is for TRICK, an answer to some prayers.

U is for URANIAN, not an interplanetary traveler or heavenly body but an antiquated term for BOY LOVER, it derives from the name of a god, URANUS. Really. Look it up.

V is for VIRGIN, a state of ignorance physical and psychological prized by fuck-minded fantasists. In reality, a perilous state the rectumfication of which without discomfort is dreadfully difficult. To DE-VIRIGINIZE an attractive boy such that his affections are prompted positively requires charisma of personality, patience behind penetrative practices, and plenty of LUBE.

W is for WANK, WANKER, and WANK-OFF, words used by members of the British Commonwealth in relation to MASTURBATION.

X is for X-RATED, a term invented to alert movie viewers that the film ahead would contain salacious, prurient, or downright lewd footage, more suggestive than actual. A later variant, XXX-RATED promised viewers bodaciously libidinal educational experiences of high-performance action usually unattainable by those without gymnastic skills but, thanks to better-equipped-than-you, insatiable, joint-flexible stars and detailed camerawork, of second-nature achievability in the cause to lift spirits toward the sublime and inspire further purchases (new releases, re-releases, and director’s cuts). Such productions carry mandated warnings that they are not for display to non-legal-age viewers – which, naturally, increases their attraction for such.

Y is for YOUNGMAN, the keenly-wrought teenage character in A Caring Dad, which will enlighten your concept of fatherhood and perhaps stir your crotch here.

Z is for ZELOPHILIA, the rare acceptance by a ZELOPHILE of sexual arousal from jealousy (whoo-ee!); also for ZUCCHINI, a healthy vegetable used by practitioners of ANAL SEX to substitute for a similarly sized ERECT PENIS.

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Feel free to add to my Alphabet for Gaydemon with Words and Definitions of your own, provided they are as proper as the well-researched one above. Use the comment place below. And, rate your heart's joy at the service provided here.