After All Those Years

It’s 1974. Hartford, Connecticut.

His wife and I had been friends in college. Well, perhaps, more than the friends. There had been at least that night when we all had had a lot to drink and we crashed at her parent’s apartment in Chicago, Dan, Jill (the woman), Rita and me. Somehow Jill and I found ourselves in the same bed… cute face, nice body, sweet tits, wet pussy, but that is not what this story is about is it? No.

No Jill and Dan ended up marrying. And I had thought that was the last that I would see of them. I moved to Connecticut to take my first job. They were happily married and working in Chicago. You know, college friends that just stay college friends.

But it was not that simple. I left my first job to take a better position at an insurance company in Hartford.  Then one day, I see Dan in the long hall in 151. Damn he looked good. He had always looked good. No wonder Jill wanted him so much. He – and I for that part – had not really dated in college. We had been a sort of team, always together, busy with campus politics.

Why was he in Hartford? His new job… was at the company I worked at. Dan and Jill had moved to Connecticut. We had lost touch. We had not let each other know where we were, or where we were working, or what we did. He was in casualty/property. I was in corporate communcations.

I lived in North Haven and commuted to Hartford. He lived in Manchester and commuted to Hartford. Sure, he was still married, no children. I was single, not dating and no interest in doing that, just like in college, but no Dan-like buddy, reconciled to being just not attracted to women, that time with Jill in Chicago – looked to be just a one off. And that seemed OK.

But I was learning something about myself.

He asked, “Bob, want to come to Manchester for Friday night supper? I am sure Jill would be OK with that. She always like you. And it would just three of us.” I agreed.

So what I was a learning about myself?

Let’s let that wait. A bit more background might just be helpful. If not to you, it is fun to remember those days before work.

Bill and I had worked together in college running the college radio station. We made it both a money maker and a political force on campus. We spent long hours together. But there was never the thought of anything more than a friendship and the joint effort. He dated, well, not at all on campus. The only college dates had been when he brought a girl he knew from his hometown to school as his date. My dating? Well. A few times. A few quick relationships that led to sex. But no one steady, No one long-term. I had school and the radio station and no compelling interest in girls, other than to look. I had fucked Mary, and Christine and Rita and Diane. With the exception of Rita all very slender, boyish girls – thin, small tits, except for pussies, more boys than girls. And when I looked at what passed for porn in those days – Playboy, Penthouse, but why did they have to show almost only women with big tits? Flat chested with small asses worked for me. Well, I was “normal” wasn’t I? Tits and ass. The women. Not the men.

And in three years in Connecticut. Not one date. What would that have been like. I had work. And, in those days, skin mags and… well there was an “adult bookstore” in East Haven for some hot magazines and videos. But, of course, being “normal”, they were girl/boy. Though I did sneak a peek at an all-male… interesting. Well, very interesting. Very, very interesting.

Sure, it seemed like I was watching more all-male than not, finding I was cumming to a hot all-male scene. Another book store in North Haven had glory holes. I did suck a few cocks. How could I resist those luscious cock heads put my way. I got mine sucked. It was nice, very nice, too nice. And I started swimming nude in the pool at my apartment house after dark, after it was closed, and wondered who would I meet and what might happen. And bought a few copies of Blue Boy at a bookstore in New Haven.

Just wondering. But, of course, still celibate. Maybe I was just confused. Maybe I just did not have the right social skills. I was never good with girls, or boys. I always had had close male friend, just close. Though with the exception of Dan, I had had one encounter each with one my boy friends, not boyfriends. What would that have been like?

Then Dan and Jill came to Connecticut. We became a threesome (not that kind). We got together for dinners. We hiked the trails. We got to know each other. And Jill was attractive. Petit. Still boyish, though now with just a bit extra weight. Nice shape. I recalled those cute breasts.

But I started to see Dan in a different light. The same lithe form, nice ass, he filled jeans nicely. Shorter than me. Slighter overall. But, damn, I had never seen him nude. Ever. Nor he me. So what gave? But then I knew I liked to watch men that looked like him. No, not Dan. He was married. He fucked Jill. But then, so had I. And no children.

Six months passed. In my free time, well, I did go to the bookstores. And I found my eyes wanted to look almost only at the all-male videos. Was I gay? No that could not be. Of course not. Just too busy for dating. Look at the tits. But even in the girl/boy videos, wasn’t it the cocks you wanted to look at? For sure. But gay? Just socially awkward.

Six months of a renewed, almost as close friendship, just that. You had to be kidding to think there was, or could be, anything more than friendship. But there were those times at the pool that summer. Jill in her min-bikini, looking so good. And Dan in his bathing suit, as undressed as I had ever seen him. And he was looking good. And I was curious about what he would look like nude. Yes nude. His cock. 

Then a Sunday in August by the pool at his place. Jill had gone in for minute to get some cool drinks, we were there, just us. Not alone. But no one was sitting close.

“Hey Bob… you look pretty good. To think that after all these years this is summer is the first time I have ever seen you with a shirt off.”

“Same here Dan. I see another reason Van found you a good match.”

“You should go shirtless more often Bob.”

I knew I should. I did sunbathe at my pool, so a bit if a tan. But not the overall tan I got one summer on the Vineyard. I   I had enjoyed a lot of nude sunbathing on one of the private, south-facing beaches. But so shy. I was often not alone. There were often other people their nude. Women. Men. Couples. I was jacking off into the sand. It had to be because I saw those nude girls, wasn’t it?

And… he had never, ever made any comment about my body. Never. Well … I let that on go.

Then it was later in August.  Dan suggested we get together at his pool, suggested we take a day off. I thought that would be good. I got there at 11. The sun was hot. A good day to be out.

I arrived. No Jill.

“Where’s your honey?”

“She went home to Chicago for the weekend. So, boys’ day, and if you want, night out. Like the old days at college.”

Except we had no radio station to get run, no plans to make, not even common work to talk about. We had the old days, maybe some new days things to talk, and, maybe explore what was on my mind, carefully, not likely. But it could be fun. And we could do a little more drinking than was normal when the three of us were together. Jill kept a count of the beers we drank.

“So, plans for tonight. We will take a swim. We will have supper. Pizza. Not quite Angelo’s. Maybe a video. We will drink. I have a case of beer. We’ll talk. Hell, have a good time, like the old days, just us. Maybe even cook up a common project for us to work, that would be fun. Those were a kind of high for us.”

“They were. Sounds like a plan. What’s first?”

“Let’s hold off on the swimming until later. The pool is “closed at 9, but I would so love to get in after that. I have checked and no one goes. Dinner first… that will give us all afternoon to…”

“No let’s swim, sit by the pool, talk, if the beer is cans we can start drinking, then supper, but plan to go back after 9. I need to just relax right now. Maybe drink until we are fucked up. I will spend the night if I am too wasted to drive.”

“Sure. You will be. You will.” There was unexpected eagerness in his voice, lie that was his plan. I could be cool with that. Just let go for once!

 “Let’s get ready for some snagging of rays, some beer, maybe a little fun in the water, especially while so many of the people here are at work.”

“Gotcha.” Fun? What might that mean?

He went into his bedroom. I went into the bathroom. Shit, I had not brought a swimming suit. “Hey. Bill, have to borrow one of your suits, OK?”

“Yes, I’ll bring onein.”

“OK.”

I was already nude so I waited. He knocked at the door opened it. Brought it in. It looked small. He was nude. The first time I had seen him nude. Damn he looked hot. Sweet to see that cock, was it showing anything? He did nothing to be modest.

“I think it will fit, though it may be a bit more revealing than your usual, “ he said. The one I am going to wear today is not one Jill would approve of my wearing. She did not approve of my order to Ah Men!” He held it out. Yes, a lot less fabric. Hot. Very hot. I had seen that catalog for men. I so loved that catalog. Soft porn.

Then my eyes were on his cock again.. Nice. Not huge. But it looked good. And I caught him looking at me. Purposefully he did not make eye contact. But I did see him getting hard. And I felt the same. But, of course, he is married. I do not date. We have been friends for a long time.

“Put it on. I’ll wait and see how it fits. If it isn’t OK, I will run back and get another.”

Well it did fit, though it showed a lot more than I was used to showing. Not a Speedo, but not old-style trunks.

“It fits. From Ah Men too? I know that catalog.”

“Yes, and you do.  It looks good,” he said. “I thought it would. Better than your usual. I could not share that with you were Jill here, she thinks it is not OK to be so nude. I think it is Ok.… I would wear less if I could. Now to get in mine.”

And what a hot ass as he walked away with a different saunter in his steps. The suit I was wearing would look good on him. And Ah Men! I knew that mail order store from ads in Blue Boy. Hot clothes for men. And being in Blue Boy, for men interested in men. Nice to know.

If mine seemed revealing, his was at least the same. Neither of them would pass an old-fashioned modesty test… Cool.

“Looks good on you. Were I Jill, fuck, I would want to have a honey that looked so sexy.” He did look sexy. Only going nude would be better, at least for my eyes. “ Let’s get out there.”

“I’ll bring the towels and the sun cream. And the beer. Yes, cans, no glass allowed.”

He did. We went out to the pool. At 2 o’clock we were the only people there. We took chaises next to each other. The six cans of beer in a little basket with ice when on the table next to us. The sun felt good.

We popped some tabs. Touched cans. Took deep drinks. What an afternoon! Warm sun. A pool. No one else there. With a good friend, really my best friend.

“Life is good, Bob.”

“Yes. It is. Just the two of us. Wish we could have done this in college. I am so glad we found each other, I mean the three of us. It must be funny Jill not being here? Miss her?”

He answered, “I am glad you are here. Let’s make the most of tonight.” No, no to my second question. That was OK. Sure I had fucked her. But that was then.

The beers were so good. The talk was so good. He asked me about my dating, or the fact that I did not. Wasn’t that a problem? I said no. The usual excuses – work, no one interested in me, me – who would date me, etc.”

“There were girls at college, like Janet who just fell all over you.”

“True, and we almost got married. She got cold feet. At the time it was a crushing blow. Not so now. Maybe a blessing in disguise. She was never one of your favorites.”

“Right. It means you are free now.”

“Free. Were I a girl I would have my hands on you right now. Sometimes it was creepy to watch Janet touch you. Yu lok so fucking good. Need some sun screen?”

Without any suggestion from me. He talked about his married life. It must have been why he invited me here today while Van was away. Yes.

As he rubbed the sun screen on my chest and legs, after taking care of my back. He talked. Yes, with Jill it was really good friendship, but sex was over-rated. Not much, well zero since they started getting together with me. No interest on for either party. And it was not like he had a desire for sex. Not with Jill. Not with any other woman. There was no other woman.

Then he came back to something, the past, our college days, saying something that struck me as apt, “We used to sort of date, sort of be a couple all those hours we worked together.” That felt true. One of those old-style male friendships, sometimes almost one person, finishing the others’ thoughts, sentences, making the same suggestions to do the same things. So damn close.

“Can I risk saying something?” he asked.

“You can.”

“Bob, Today feels like the old days, time spend talking, and next pizza. This may sound wired, but I wish we could date. So today can be our first date. Really a date. I have so missed you, and having you to myself just makes it so clear to me…”

Pretty heavy statement to hear. First date, and why did I remember that old saying what you never do it on the first date? Why. A stupid thought I should keep to myself, except I didn’t.

“Weren’t we raised never to do something on the first date? But, this isn’t the first date. I would think you were done with dating, you have Jill.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember what it was, so no problem there. So no need to worry.”

But he did not say anything about dating, just said he forgot that you don’t fuck on a first date. And I liked the idea of having Dan to myself. But that was not going to happen. It must have been the beer talking.

“Let’s get in the water.”

Maybe swimming after two beers each not was so smart. And the hot sun. But we did. But maybe smarter than continuing with the conversation it seemed that Dan wanted to have, and that I felt might just be right. What would it be like to have a date with Dan. A movie. A candlelight supper. A walk in the dark. Romance standing together looking at the moon that would be full tonight when we might just be back at the pool. So we did some laps. Some dives. After a while we swam over the edge. Next to each other. Shoulders touching like they sometimes do when two people are next to each other at the pool.  

I broke the contact. Bill moved to his right to touch me again. Then just a brief touch on my ass. Or was I just wanting that? Then another, this time more like a cupping. Then broken off. No words were spoken then. We just stayed touching. He spoke, “Nice afternoon, Bob.”

“Yes. I it is. How long has it been since I enjoyed being in a pool so much? Too long. Solo in the pool. Boring.” I wanted to stay in the water next to him. Just touching. I turned my head. He turned his to look at me. Eye contact of kind I had not known. He said, “Hey. let’s order pizza. 6 p.m.? Too early?”

“Well pizza used to be the midnight supper. Let’s can go in in a bit, and make our decision. Too bad the Italian Village is 900 hundred miles away, and then there was Pizza Pete and Eugene “Angelo” Lester and the pizza eating contest, and the time we both forgot, what centripetal force, and the pizza on the floor that old Carter had to eat to win the eat a pizza in 45 minutes contest?”

“A long time since the little cups of grease from Italian Village!”

“Have to have pepperoni!  From that place you like here. Pepperoni.” Damn if I did not have some different ideas about what to do with those cups of grease.

“Yes. Out we go. It won’t be quite the same, but trust me it will be good, and…”

We climbed out. Toweled off.

It was OK that Jill was not here. Was she the last person I had had sex with? I think so. Damn, a boyish bod would be nice. And Dan… but… he did want to date, but this was the first one, so just pizza, more beer, a video on TV, then, if I could, home to wake up to a lonely Saturday morning, errands… maybe an ABS, a glory hole, but I did want to be here. No Jill. Just Dan. Stay. Why? Because I wanted to more than anything, that cupping of my ass, maybe I did get the point. Why did I not respond. I wanted to touch him. Maybe I would now.

We went to the building, up the stairs, went in. He ordered. We opened another round of beers. Stood at the island in the kitchen. This was so good. Normal.

“Nice in the water.”

Normal, but I had to say, “It was Dan, though it feels funny not to have Jill here.” Another test just to make sure I was getting the clues, if they were clues.

“It does. Bob, may I ask a potentially embarrassing question?”

“Sure.” It was the second of that day. “Shoot.”

“That night when we were In Chicago with Rita and Jill. You spent the night in her bedroom. Right? I fucked Rita. Did you fuck Jill.?”

“I did.”

“Like it?”

“Yes.”

“Want to do it again?”

“No?”

“Why?” He was looking me in the eyes.

“Because she is your wife. It would be wrong.”

“But want to? It is OK to say so. She is cute. Nice body. Nice boyish tits. Sweet ass. And even if you fucked her only once…”

I said, “No.”

“Why?”

“Just not interested.”

“In her?”

“No, that was a mistake, a one-off. I felt terrible. It just wouldn’t work.”

“Into women? I recall you liked them boyish.”

“I did.”

“Still?”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe, what? No boyish women around? Jill is her? Want to fuck her?” He asked.

He was probing. I wondered why. To find an excuse to kick me out?

“Well… her… and I guess women. No.  At least so far, in the past couple of years. Nobody here.”

“But you like sex, I do. Want some body contact?”

“Sure, but if she were here and we could a threesome, or I could do a twosome, I would pass.”

“Why?” he asked.

 “I just don’t have the desire for that.”

“For something else?”

Then Dan walked up to me, took the beer out of my hands, put his hands on my shoulders, looked at me. Looked down. I looked down. I saw. He saw. Bulging in our bathing trunks. We looked. Locked eyes.

“For something that starts like this?”

“Dan, damn, this… this…” I was stammering. “This…”

“What is this?” he asked. He said, “I want to kiss you, man. I have for a long time.”

He did.

What the fuck! Before I could do anything, say anything, his arms were around me. He pulled my head down. His lips were on mine. I responded, awkwardly at first, out of inexperience, but I responded. His hands were on my ass. What to do with mine. I guess the same. We kissed. We held each other. Damn it felt good. Good in an incredible way. He broke it off.

“Am I ought of bounds? He said.

“No.”

“I have wanted to do that almost since the first time you were here for dinner. Getting married was a mistake. What the fuck did I know? Just too fucking blind to see. Were you?”

“Maybe. Let’s talk.”

“Yeah. Let’s get out of these suits. Damn, we have to be nude. I want to be free. Nude. Men together. Nude. Fuck your cock looks good. The pizza will be here in about an hour. We have beer to drink and things to talk about. Things are OK?”

“Yes.”

“Sure? You don’t want to get away?”

“No. I want to be here.”

“I don’t want you to go. I’m not. … kiss me.”

I did.

We were nude.

What a lot I, had to think about. I did not feel any wave of lust, but an openness, there was always a kind of affection. How blind was I? And what about what I did look at and think about these days when I jerked off. It was not as if I had only an abstract interest in being hard, stroking, cumming. Just too blind to see the focus. Was it fear of women? Or was it that this - the 70s and homosexuality was considered just plain wrong, abnormal, sick, not a real option. There was no fear of AIDS. Just fear of being ostracized or having to live in a twilight world. Just see what happens, that was what I said to myself. My hardon spoke to me. My mind told me. I wanted to be here, not to get out Am I a faggot? You know you are. And thus man wants you. And I wanted to be here, with him.

“Bob, who would have thunk? “

“What? Yeah.”

A knock on the door. The pizza. I offered to pay.

“No, my treat.”

“OK, Bill.”

He opened the door. The delivery boy came in. About 20. A college kid. In shorts and a tank top. 20. Blond, handsome.

“Hi, Dan. What’s up? Where’s Jill?”

“In Chicago.”

“But you’re not alone, I see. Hello.”

Kind of a cheeky hello, seductive in some way.

“My friend Bob.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Phil.”

“Hi Phil.”

This seemed like a longer delivery stop than I would have expected. Much longer. Not a drop and pay and off.

And, of course, we were both nude, aroused. Somehow it had seemed right to be nude and aroused.

Phil put the pizza on the island. Took a beer. Did he see we were two men nude? Did he care? It did not seem that Dan had a problem, and Phil new Jill was Dan’s wife. What the…”

“Mind? Hour break time. Looks like I’m lucky that this is my last stop.”

“You are and we are,” said Bill.

What did that mean? I thought we were going to talk. Phul here delivering pizza to two nude men this did seem like a scene in a gay porno film. Sweet.

“Phil, enjoy the beer. I think there is plenty of pizza. And kick back and get comfortable. How long is the break?”

“I have until 7:30.”

It was 6:30.

So, what was I seeing, discovering?

In retrospect, I was seeing what was to be the future.  I was meeting a new present. Now.
 So here we were nude.

“Get relaxed, Phil.”

“Yes, sir.” He did. Nude in a flash, Hot, hot, hot. His cock at attention. His ass sweet. Shaved pubes.

“OK, Bob. A little talk to explain things in case you cannot guess.”

“OK.”

“Good.”

Bill started, “This is old news for Phil. Jill and I married. You know that. She is cute. She was basically the only girl I ever dated. Our parents liked us as a couple. In fact, we do work as a couple, except for one aspect. Sex. Sure we sort of fucked though never now. I was never in it. But she seemed to like it. I thought I was making her cum. It turns out I never did. Sure, she let me cum in her. Never touched my cock otherwise. Pretty vanilla. Pretty not fulfilling for either of us. We never talked about kids. We just seemed, otherwise, to get along so well.

“Chicago was great. She was into her work. I was into mine. I took you, Bob, as an example, and just poured myself into work. That is what got me hired here in Hartford. A home office guy. Totally into the company.”

“Lucky me.”

Three nude men. Phil was standing next to Dan, where I wanted to be. Touching. His arm on Dan’s shoulder now.

“Jill was less eager to come to Harrford. She did not want to leave her friends, her girlfriends, especially the two she sometimes went away on weekends with. Maybe that finally got me thinking. May my lovely wife IS into girls. Her friends were all single, Carol and Sandy shared an apartment near us – ‘to help makes ends meet’ they said. It made sense, we needed two incomes for our place. They had one like ours. Also, one bedroom. Why not combine their incomes? I was clueless at first, maybe until then. Jill spent a lot of time with them, going out for girls’ nights, sometimes spending the night, sometimes coming back high on something. And she always came home from time away with them – glowing in a way. Together the girls all cut their hair short. They all – to me – looked hot. Maybe a bit butch. But I was starting to guess they were not doing this for guys.”

He paused. Phil touched Dan’s chest, tweaked a nipple. Dan’s cock respending. Dan continued.

“We moved. Van started to make frequent trips home. Her job made that easy. I was OK with it. Why not? I did not mind being alone. As I said, we got along. Should I look around? But I did not see any women I wanted. And it is not like there are not a lot of hot women at work. You know that. Then we, you and I and Jill, started to see each other a lot.  Maybe seeing you was enough, and work, not other women.   And, sex was not part of that. Just the old times. And you had the time for us, for me – no girlfriend, no other obligations.”

“But I was straight. Just undersexed. Like I was thinking you were.”

Dan paused. Took a deep breath. What he said next ought not to have come as no surprise. We were three men, nude, not in some locker room where that might be normal, but in someone’s kitchen, where, at least then, it was not normal.

“But as things turned out I wasn’t straight, and I wasn’t undersexed. On the contrary. The realization started with a pizza delivery one night about two months ago and a pizza delivery man, Phil.”

A big smile on Phil’s face. “Pepperoni with a special delivery, Bob. I see you might like the same. Love the tip you gave me, Bill.”

“And the tip you gave me, the tip that I was gay. That this is Phil’s break is not by chance. It was by chance the first time. He saw the beer. Asked.  I said sure. Was it those eyes that made me to do it? Or the fact that I was looking all over him, not that I knew at the time it was a greedy, desiring look. I said sure, stay a while. He said to me, “You look like a guy I would like to know.”

I said, “Thank you. Why?”

“Pardon me, but you have a great ass.”

“No reason not to qualify the customer,” interjected Phil. “I saw the ring, but when I deliver to married guys who are alone on a weekend night, well I like to see what might be the case.”

“I asked if Dan was alone on a Saturday. He said yes. I asked wife at work? He said no. Away was my next question. Yes. And Dan just looked at me. Like he wanted more than my hello.”

“I did,” said Dan. Phil just said… nothing. Just stepped up and grabbed me, grabbed my ass, kissed me. I did not resist. In the thirty minutes we had, well, … we kissed, he took out his cock, had me blow him and take my first load. He took charge. I was putty n his hands. Maybe too many beers before he came. Maybe not. Sort of how I approached you, Bob. That was Phil’s move. Thank you, Phil.”

Then Bill looked me in the eyes and said. Phil knows this, and I guess you my be guessing it, Bob, but now you will know, Bob. I am a homosexual. And…” he paused, “I think you are too, Bob.”

I said, “OK, yes.”

Phil turned to me, stroking his cock. I looked down. He said, “You want it too, don’t you Bob?”

I stammered, “Yes.”

I was on my knees.

 Damn, I knew, really knew. There I was sucking cock. Not in a sleezy ABS, but in Dan’s kitchen. How had we missed this all those years?

“On you back, Bob. Let me fuck your mouth.”

I lay back. Phil took me. Then there was a pause. I had closed my eyes in joy. I felt lips on my lips. Then a different cock. It was Dan’s. Damn.  

I was gay. Dan was gay. I was homosexual. Yes. Dan’s cock exploded in my mouth. The taste of cum. I knew I wanted to enjoy that taste again.

And Phil.  We fucked. The incredible feeling of a cock in my ass. And Dan’s cock back in mouth.  Phil pounding my still tight hole. Then breeding me.  Dan cumming in my mouth again whole Phil made me cum.

The pizza got cold. It would OK to eat after we had shared cocks, shared loads. Sixty-Nine. Daisy chain. Fucking. Discovering. Accepting.

We broke apart finally.

We ate. We drank beer. We celebrated.

Phil left. Dan an I stayed nude. We went to his bed. He fucked me. 

"Thank you, Bob."

"Thank you, Dan.

"Sleep well, lover."

"I will."  Lover. Yes. Lover.

I spent the night. The first of many to come.