A whore's life

“Try it again with more anger” said the obviously gay casting director to me in his office near Lincoln Center. He’d been reading the part of a mother to my 17-year-old son. We did it again. “Very good. Thanks for stopping by” he smiled. Two days later, I had a message that I had a callback.

The next morning, I was in the reception area of the network that produced the soap opera. There were four other good looking young guys sitting around. They were all straight, I could tell. There was friendliness but tension, as we were competing against each other. We were taken in one by one. The meetings lasted about five minutes. I was third.

Sitting at a table were the producer and the writers. Sitting on a chair was red-headed Bonnie, who was playing the mother. I recognized her. She was 42 at the time and was one of those non-star popular NYC character actresses. She’d won a Tony for the supporting part of funny drunk neighbor in a hit comedy, and an Emmy for a guest shot on a popular detective show as a murderous madam. She would go on to win another Tony, and three more Emmys and a Best Supporting Actress Oscar nomination over the course of her career.

I had memorized my lines which freed me up to seem natural as we did the scene together. “Nice” said the straight producer. “Try it again, but a little more” he said to me. Bonnie and I did it again. “Thanks for stopping by” said the producer. I walked the few blocks home. By 3:00 PM, I had sucked off three Columbia boys and was in the midst of sucking Justin’s dick, when the phone rang. “Excuse me.” I took my mouth off of his dick and went and answered it.

“Congratulations! They want you! You got the part!” Sam exclaimed. “Thanks!” “They messengered the contract and the sides for the first episode. Meet me at 7:00 PM for dinner so you can sign it and we can go over details.” I completed Justin’s blowjob, and swallowed his load.

At 6:45 PM, I was standing in front of the then famous West Village steakhouse, O. Henry’s. A few minutes later, Sam showed up, so hot in his black suit and holding a fancy black leather briefcase. We shook hands and went inside.

‘We’ll each have a dry martini, and we’ll each have a filet, medium-rare and a side of grilled asparagus. No bread. You have to keep in shape” Sam said to the waiter and then to me. The writers of the soap opera came up with a four-week story arc. Bonnie played the crazy ex-wife of one of the leading characters. She moves to the town he lives in with their crazy teenage son, causing mayhem to get revenge for him leaving her and remarrying. We set fires and did all sorts of wild stuff. I’d be seducing a girl and a boy! Bonnie and I would get killed in a car wreck and life in the town returned to normal.

“When I saw you in that student film, I knew I could sell you. My hunches are always right. I admire and sure enjoy that you know how to get down to business. A lot of talented boys don’t get it.” At the end of the sparse meal, instead of dessert, he ordered glasses of champagne and paid the check. Sam didn’t take out the contract for me to sign. Instead, he suggested we go back to his place which was three blocks away. Hmmm.

This time, Sam was more passionate when we made out, though still dominant. He began undressing and so did I. He stood and I got on my knees and began sucking his dick. “Oh, Patrick, you’ve got the right attitude. I’m not promising that you’ll be a star, but I’m going to get you work, the rest is luck.” I went on sucking his dick, until he pulled it out of my mouth. “You’ve earned the bedroom” he laughed.

I followed him and he nudged me onto the bed on my back. He lubed us up with Vaseline, raised my legs and this time he fucked me more like a making love bit, with varying thrusts of firmness and tenderness. I later learned that the first time he had a new boy, it was a power play of breaking them down and showing them their place. Hence, the clothed rough fucking over a table and being tossed out. I would meet other guys he represented, and we compared similar notes.

The next morning Bonnie called me. Since we’d be working so closely with each other, she wanted us to meet at her apartment, to rehearse and get to know each other. I said of course but was nervous. What if she wanted me? She lived nearby, and I was relieved when a different attractive woman opened the door of her apartment. She was Barbara, Bonnie’s “assistant,” really her girlfriend.

“The writers were keen on another boy, but they deferred to my choice, you. I noticed your pierced ear. We have to stick together…” So, began my long friendship with Bonnie. She calmed me about my lack of experience and coached me. “You have the right look for young parts, but you’ll age out. Then, it’ll be like starting all over again. Save your money and consider other fields.”

She recommended a voice teacher. “Your voice is good but could be better especially for the stage.” The four weeks on the show were a blast as I learned on the job. It was also educational on how everyone in the business was concerned with keeping up appearances. Being gay just wasn’t acknowledged. There were so many closet cases with fake wives. Bonnie even had a male friend to escort her to public events. In fact, my part had been difficult to cast as agents were put off by the slight gay context and were worried it could hurt their client’s careers. There was the one bit where I was supposed to lean in to kiss another teenaged boy, then the show cut away to a commercial, when we returned it’s implied they fooled around. Gee! Sam sent me out for the role because I had no career to hurt. 

“I’m so happy for you!” said Steve in his office when I came to tell him I was quitting the movie theater. Between whoring and now getting hired by the soap opera and joining the actors union, I didn’t have the time or need to work there anymore. We made out and ended up on the couch sixty-nining before he fucked me.

This role actually began my career as it got me noticed. It led to a three-month stint on another soap opera as the love interest of the teenaged daughter of a main character. A few other highlights included: A national Time magazine commercial where I was one of a cross-section of All-American types, I had to look serious and then smile as I was seen reading it. A featured role as bank robbery gang member in Alex’s feature directorial debut. Then there was being in a Halloween-style slasher movie filmed in an upstate camp grounds where I got killed off near the end. It did well and became a cult classic. In the future, I would have a table at autograph shows. People would chat and pay me to sign various memorabilia from my career and to take pictures with them.

“Would you like to be on Broadway?” a famous English director asked me around that time.