Chapter 3
This also takes place from Patrick’s perspective. The aftermath of his risky behavior leading up to a reveal he never saw coming.
Patrick is guilt ridden. The breakfast, his sweet husband had ordered for him, sits untouched except for a piece of bacon and some toast that Patrick forced him to himself to eat so he wouldn’t vomit from his hangover or from his guilt. He cheated. He engaged in risky behavior that could jeopardize not only his health but the health of the man he deeply loved—his husband Josh. There’s no excuse for that. Patrick fucked up and he knows it. And what’s more he needs to own it.
Patrick showers, gulps down more coffee, and then checks out of the hotel. Immediately goes to a drugstore and buys a few oral HIV tests. He goes to his office and in a bathroom stall administers it and waits. Patrick is educated and he understands it could be too early. It’s probably too early. Exposure doesn’t happen that quickly. Stashes the rest of the tests at the very bottom of his office desk drawer. He’s not bringing them home for sure. After a few minutes, the test comes back negative. Patrick then makes an appointment for the clinic, asking for an emergency visit due to risky exposure. Many gay clinics will allow for such emergencies. They run all the tests. The kindly counselor goes down her list of questions, Patrick is really awkward. Tries to evade, but she puts her clipboard down and tells them in order to help she needs him to be honest. There’s no judgments in this room. He sighs then admits, giving bullet points of his story. Has a husband. They’re open and honest about it. But when he was drinking a hook up barebacked to him without his knowledge. More back-and-forth, the counselor tells Patrick it could be up to a week to get all the tests back, but he should refrain from some forms of intimacy with his husband until he has a clean slate. Condoms even if oral or anal. Patrick knows internally that’ll never fly. Josh would know something was up. He has to think of something, another excuse.
Patrick arrives home and immediately changes his clothes and goes to the gym. He’s figured out his excuse. He manages a basic perfunctory workout. He needs to have some sweat on his clothes to make the fib work. That’s what Patrick calls it. It’s a fib, something to protect Josh. A white lie. It’s not an outright lie. He didn’t mean it to happen. That’s what he tells himself.
Once back from the gym, Patrick tells Josh he pulled a back muscle. This is how Patrick is going to get out of intimate relations with his husband for the next week. He thinks it’s the kindest fib. After the tests come back, and pray he gets the all clear, Patrick’s plans to tell Josh he wants to close the marriage again. Patrick had noticed Josh wasn’t taking up his opportunity for outside sex since that one incident he never wants to discuss. So if Patrick gets the all clear, he’s gonna dedicate himself back to his marriage to his husband.
Big brother Jon
Josh is thrilled when his big brother finally arrives. They’ve seen very little of each other the last few years after having had an incredibly close, complicated, and connected childhood. They had a normal childhood up to around his 11th birthday when both their parents were killed in a car accident. And the brothers, 11 and 16 were put into foster care. A series of bad homes, neglectful foster parents, some abuse. 11 to 18 for Josh was a toughest time of his life. And his big brother was his protector. Always.
Josh excitedly opens the door to a giant hunk of a man, his big brother Jon DeLuca. 27, he’s got the bulk and height of Patrick. Even more so. But the coloring and hair of Josh. Jon is the other side of the coin compared to Josh. He’s a couple inches taller, a couple years older, has a thick dark beard, long enough that you could tug it. He has the same dark, wavy hair but where Josh works to contain his Jon’s runs wild. Jon also contrasts with his brother by his big beefy build, hairy chest evident from what pops out of the top. More similar to Patrick’s own footballer build than to his biological brother Josh. It’s like Jon embodies the body of Patrick and everything else of Josh. Except his personality. Jon is a construction worker with the rough, calloused hands that go with the job. Whereas Josh is warm, kind and open, John is quiet, withdrawn, he watches the world with a tentative eye. Almost like he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. But when he’s near Josh, he becomes a little more open. Open but always watchful over his little brother. Protective.
The three men share a meal together that night. Patrick and Josh prepare it while Jon gets settled in the guest room. He only brought one duffel bag as Jon doesn’t own much. Josh sit between the two hulking men at the dinner table, glowing at having is two guys here at the same time. That’s a rare occurrence since he got together with Patrick and all the shit Jon had to go through in his own life. There’s an air of…something… between Josh and Jon, little comments Josh has made over the years alludes to him owing his big brother a lot for protecting him. It’s a painful period of their past so Patrick never pushed but bits and pieces allude to dark teenage years. For these reasons, Patrick does his best do engage John, to get along with him. It’s the very least Patrick can do for his husband, who lights up when he sees the efforts. Since Patrick is avoiding any sex with Josh, claiming a back injury while he waits to get the all clear on his STD test, Patrick is determined to do anything else he can to make his husband happy. He fucking owes him.
A couple nights into John’s visit Josh asked Patrick how his back feels. Josh has on his sexy pajamas. The silk ones that cling to his ass with just a light white tank top. Patrick’s favorite. Patrick knows where this is leading if Josh had his way based on the clothing choice alone, so he feigns a twisted nerve and still being in agony. Patrick notes that he needs to call the clinic tomorrow and see if any thing could be rushed. He’ll pay extra for it if he has to.
Patrick gets the all clear from the clinic. He’s so relieved, swears the marriage is closed in his mind anyway and he’s gonna re-dedicate himself to his husband. But intimacy doesn’t come back to them quite easily as Patrick had imagined it would.. Having Jon there in the next room over definitely inhibits Patrick. He feels odd initiating sex with Josh while his brother is right next-door. A brother who clearly doesn’t really care for him. So even though Patrick has the all clear he and Josh don’t jump back into intimate relations. That might wait till Jon leaves and they can really reconnect, just the two of them.
Patrick and Jon don’t exactly engage with one another much but they are becoming more familiar with one another’s patterns. They’re like two lions kind of checking each other out, circling the territory, scanning the horizon. Not sure what to make of the other. The only thing they have in common is they both love Josh to a degree they would do anything for him.
Patrick notices in a few instances where Jon has to physically restrain himself from taking a primary role with his younger brother. Patrick sees him physically pull back as he knows. It’s not his place. This is Patrick’s Home with Josh, not his own. Little things, glances, comments. It’s evident the dance they are all engaged in.
Patrick comes home from work for lunch one day- something he never does – and hears noises from the guest room. He’s pissed. He knows what that sound is. How dare Jon brings someone home to fuck in our house. He looks through the keyhole and can see John clearly doing exactly that. And, it’s a man. Patrick is stunned. His gaydar never went off with this guy. Not even a bit. But what little he can see through the keyhole, Patrick can see that John is giving the guy underneath him the fuck of his life.The guy is on his stomach and his pillow obscures his face, but he sees hairy legs and a gray T-shirt with a logo on the sleeve. It looks familiar, but he doesn’t remember why. Maybe some sports team. Jon is clearly into it. A total alpha, piston fucking the guy underneath him. He kisses the guys neck, rubs his beard against it. Fuck yeah. Fucking take it, baby. Patrick hear him say something else after that but it’s granted into the guy's ear and he doesn’t know what he said. He says it again, but still, Patrick can’t make it out. Patrick is stunned to realize he is hard as a rock with pre-cum already staining his designer suit pants. He goes to his en suite bathroom on the other side of the Condo. He puts paper towels in his underwear to stop the leakage, quickly blots his pants and gets out of there. He doesn’t want to see Jon right now. He’s so pissed at his blatant disregard for being a guest in their home.
Patrick can’t get it out of his head though. Once he’s back at the office, he goes to the company bathroom and jerks off in a stall thinking of Jon's back and how aggressive he was. How he grunted in the guy's ear and rubbed his beard over him like he was establishing ownership. Patrick’s heart races as he cums from the image. Patrick doesn’t like Jon but he sure as fuck is turned on by him. Patrick hasn’t had another tryst since Clint. His guilt was too much. Without discussion with Josh, Patrick had closed the marriage as well. No more outside. He rationalizes that since it’s been weeks since he’s bottomed and been taken by another alpha, he is pent-up. Once they’re alone, not only will he reconnect with his husband, but they will have the conversation about closing the marriage again. Patrick is determined.
That night at dinner Josh wears that same gray with the logo but Patrick doesn’t clock it. He’s too in his head about what he saw Jon engaged in. How it both enraged him and turned him on. He’s angry with himself for feeling the second emotion. He thought he dealt with that shit after Clint. Josh works to make conversation between Jon and Patrick. They have a relatively decent dinner though it’s mostly Patrick and Josh engaged or Jon and Josh engaged. Never the three and never Patrick and Jon.
Patrick asks Josh once they’re alone in the bedroom how long his brother plans to stay. Josh says just a little longer. He’s so glad to reconnect. Once Jon goes, Josh wants to tell him about his teenage years. The time he doesn’t talk about. Right now he’s working through stuff, just reconnecting with his brother, but when he goes, it’s gonna be them again. And you’re gonna really get everything out in the open Patrick think to himself, well not everything. And shudders. Patrick can’t tell him that. Josh would never look at him the same way again. But Patrick is deeply touched that Josh wants to discuss this with him. Patrick swears he’s gonna make everything up to him and be the perfect husband.
Patrick hasn’t clocked the gray shirt with the logo. The one he saw underneath, John, fucking the shit out of the guy wearing it. A few more days go by and Patrick comes home for lunch again. Dreading but also hoping to catch Jon in another fuck because it turned him on so much, hearing another alpha fuck. He needs more material for the spank Bank, especially since Patrick closed off his own outlet, based on his infidelity and embarrassment. Jon is in his room, grunting just like before, but this time he’s further along, and Patrick hears his obvious release. Patrick starts to leave, but then realizes he left his briefcase on the other side of the room. Oh shit! He turns around and grabs it, but before he can the door opens. A disheveled and sweaty Josh appears, pulling on that same gray T-shirt with the sports logo on the sleeve that Patrick saw the other time. Their eyes meet. Patrick see a still naked Jon sitting on the bed behind Josh, hurriedly pulling on his own clothes.
There’s no fucking doubt what’s happened
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