Trial Of Strength (Book 13)

"THE COWBOY'S SEXUAL CONFUSION"

Hot, straight cowboy Charlie works out in the tribe’s gym with hunky fireman Jason. Charlie has no interest in man-sex, but he bonds with Jason in a macho contest of strength and body worship that turns into wild, impulsive sex. He freaks out. “No, I’m straight, I don’t belong here.”  The shrink Doc Steve stops him leaving and they explore the depths of the cowboy’s sexual confusion.

In the previous chapter

At the gathering of the tribe at the Grady House party there was already a lot to celebrate.

Grady had recruited the tribe’s co-leader Bob as his personal attorney for negotiations on his upcoming movie.  Bob felt that, as a major international action star, Grady had been underpaid on his past movies.  So now, using charm and skill, he had negotiated a percentage of the film’s gross revenue for Grady, hugely increasing his fee.

A short time later there was a major shift in the relationship between the hunky Arab Marine Hassan and his boy Eddie.  Eddie had been offered a contract by Grady’s studio as a popular assistant cameraman, which boosted his own self-esteem and his stature in Hassan’s eyes.  Transformed from colt to stallion Eddie reversed their usual roles by topping the macho Marine.

A similar transformation took place with the Aussies, Adam and his boy Nate, where dominant muscle-stud Adam surrendered his ass to the newly empowered young surfer jock Nate.

After all that it excitement it was time for the first big meal of the weekend, dinner.  The crowd was getting boisterous and boss Randy insisted that co-host Grady make a speech.  Grady waved him away but the mob chant began.   “Speech ... speech ... speech.”

With a playful smile Grady reluctantly rose and said, “I have only two words for you guys.  ‘No Comment’.”  He extended his arm, his palm raised flat.  “Talk to the hand, ‘cos the face ain’t listening.  I got a top-notch, high-priced new lawyer to handle the press and a rabble like you, so all requests for comment should be addressed to him, not me,” pointing at Bob.

This dictum was greeted with howls of derision, and outspoken Eddie yelled, “So if we can’t communicate with words, dude, how about this?” He picked up a chunk of bread and hurled it. 

And that, of course, started the deluge of bread and insults flying at Grady from all sides, raining down on him as he dramatically raised his arm as a shield and howled, “Attorney, attorney, where are you? You’re supposed to protect me.”

“Nah,” Bob grinned.  “Read my contract – I only deal with the press.  With a mob like this, you’re on your own, buddy.”

Bread-fights against Grady had become a ritual at these parties and, laughing uncontrollably, he withstood the attack as long as he could, until finally, with tears running down his cheeks, he slumped down in his chair and clung to Mario.  “Oh, Mario, I can see this is gonna be one helluva party.”

Grady was right.  And when Fireman Jason and Cowboy Charlie showed up, all bets were off.  There was no knowing what would happen next.

=======    Book 13: Chapter 19   =========

<><>    The Party Heats Up    <><> 

Things were heating up at the big Grady House party weekend, hosted by the hot jock movie star Grady and his Italian lover Mario.  The entire tribe (thirty-seven of them) were gathered together for dinner round the huge square table set up in the spacious garden. 

The meal began, predictably enough, with a raucous bread-fight attack on Grady.  As he tried to make a speech, a deluge of insults and bread chunks rained down on him from all sides, and he dramatically crossed his arms as a shield, laughing, “Not the face ... not the face.”

Grady’s greatest wish was always to be treated like “just one on the guys”, to counter the surreal world outside of hero-worshipping fans and paparazzi. 

He had earlier told his lover Mario, “I don’t know how I would get through all the pressures of work and my life without knowing I have you and this great big unruly family to back me up.  It’s times like this that remind me I really am just another human being under all that bullshit that creates a whole different me for the rest of the world – the flashy kind.”

The friendly abuse he was getting from the crowd right now was the total opposite of awed hero-worship from fans, and he howled with laughter as he slumped into his chair beside Mario.

The tribe’s co-leader, the rugged gypsy Randy yelled, “And it’s all downhill from here, buddy.”

“Or uphill, depending on how you look at it,” laughed Bob, the other co-leader and Randy’s lover.

When the bread shower ceased, Grady happily settled into being ‘just one of the guys, while boss Randy rose to make the traditional speech of thanks to the hosts on behalf of the whole tribe.  That included profuse thanks to the five young chefs and their helpers who had worked in shifts to cook and serve this massive meal.

“Guys, please give it up for our knockout chefs and the other boys, who have pulled out all the stops to get this terrific meal on the table.  Take a bow, you guys.”

The line-up was impressive, like a theatrical curtain call.  All the young guys wore chef’s hats and the burgundy Grady House aprons (every house in the tribe had its own apron color).  

Danny, the Grady House chef, stood in the center next to his lover, the blond former gymnast and party planner Tommy. Flanking them were the twins Kyle and Kevin, head chefs at the tribe’s compound, with their assistants the redhead Will, and recent Honduran immigrant Felipe.

At each end of the line were the boys in wheelchairs, Brian and Brandon, who had shuttled back and forth from the kitchen with their wheelchair tray tables piled high with food and plates.

As the crowd gave them all a standing ovation, the boys raised their chef’s hats high in the air and swooped them down in a low theatrical bow, while the boys at each end did dizzying wheelies in their wheelchairs.

After that, with all the meals served, the boys took their places and all attention turned to eating and drinking ... shouting and laughing ... joking and insulting ... in a cacophony of lustful, oversexed men and boys.

Young Will was always unofficially appointed to serve Randy, whose preference ran not to gourmet food but to plain steak and potatoes.  So that’s what Will served him unobtrusively, with the addition of broccoli and an order to “eat your greens, sir.”

Randy ruffled Will’s red hair.  “You’re mothering me again, Red.”

“Someone has to.  And if you eat all your broccoli you can have some of this.  He surreptitiously produced an expensive bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label, Randy’s preferred Scotch. He knew that Randy was not big on wine so he kept a stash of the prime Scotch for his exclusive use.”

“Red, you’re a prince among men.  Remind me to reward you later with a major fuck..”

“You always say that, sir.  Promises, promises ...  I gotta go sit with my man Seth.”

And in that merry vein the party went on until late in the evening.  When the well-oiled group kicked back over coffee and brandy, Grady’s boy Brian announced. “Gentlemen, when you’re ready for bed you will find that all the guestrooms have been assigned and have your names on the door.”

Mario smiled. “Though of course you can, and probably will, do as you please and go ... how do you say in English? ... go room-leaping?”

“Hopping, amico” Grady laughed, “Room-hopping.  Leaping is for stuff like leaping into bed.”

“Pretty much the same thing with this crowd,” Bob smiled.  “Otherwise what’s the point of room hopping?  First you hop, then you leap, right?”

“Thank you for the grammar lesson, Bob,” Mario smiled.  “I sometimes have problems with my English verbs.”

Grady hugged him.  “I’m happy to say there’s one verb you never have a problem with, amico.  It starts with f and ends with c k.”

Mario frowned with a twinkle in his eye.  “Er ... flick?  “You want me to flick you?”

“Shut the flick up, dude,” Grady laughed. “Guys, I’ve gotta take this gorgeous Italian upstairs and give him more grammar lessons.”

Bob laughed.  “What’s in a word?  To misquote Shakespeare, ‘A flick by any other name feels just as hot’.”

“Hey,” Randy grunted, “to hell with all this classical bullshit.  I call an ass an ass, and a fuck a fuck.  And that’s just what you’re gonna get, buddy, so get that ass upstairs.”  He grabbed Bob’s arm and jerked him to his feet.  Amid all the laughter, he pulled Bob toward the house and grinned back over his shoulder.  “’Night, fellas.  I got me an ass to flick.”

<><>    New Partners    <><>

In fact, there was less room-hopping (or leaping) than might have been expected.  After a long, eventful day, most of the men and boys just wanted to curl up in bed and make love, then sleep in late.

Which they did.  As usual the chefs had spread out a buffet breakfast, with plenty of strong coffee to bring life to their bleary eyes.  Mario and Grady made their groggy entrance and Mario smiled, “Buongiorno, signori.  Did you sleep well, and, er, the other things too?”

As they exchanged greetings, Randy’s booming voice announced his towering presence as he came out with his arm round Bob.  “Mornin’, guys.  I’m fucking starved.”  He went straight for the buffet and the coffee pot.

As more guys emerged, conversation was muted at first, mostly reliving their amorous adventures of the past night.  This was certainly the case with the youngsters Noah and Vic as they came out with their man, Cowboy Charlie.  Their beaming smiles said it all and they joined their buddy Ben, sitting with his man, handsome blond fireman Jason. 

Ben eagerly pumped the boys for all the juice about their night with Charlie and they proudly related how the cowboy had, as usual, let them suck his cock, in turn and then together.

While they rattled on Charlie and Jason got into conversation.  The two men had not socialized much since Jason returned from Palm Springs yesterday, and now they stumbled upon something amusing that they had in common. 

Jason had been describing his week’s stay with Ben at Uncle Mike’s house while Mike was here in L.A. having surgery from Doc Chad for his broken leg.  “Mike had asked me to fill in as relief bartender,” Jason said, “on condition that I took my shirt off behind the bar.  Not that I needed much persuading,” he chuckled.  “You probably know my reputation as a muscle narcissist, so I had a blast getting admired by a bunch of drooling bikers.”

Charlie laughed.  “You too eh, dude?” he said in his Texas drawl.   “Some time ago I was on my way from here to a rodeo gig in Phoenix, and I stopped off and stayed a day or two with Mike.  I happened to mention that before I got big on the rodeo circuit I tended bar to make ends meet.

“Well, when Mike heard that he insisted that I spend a couple of hours working shirtless behind the bar in his leather joint.  I hesitated at first, but once I made clear to his customers that I was straight and had no interest in having sex with guys, I relaxed and had fun.”

Charlie grinned roguishly.  “I guess I have a bit of the narcissist in me too, especially when I rip my shirt off riding round the rodeo ring on my victory lap.  I sure get off on the admiring cheers from the crowd.  Only difference there, is I do have sex afterwards with some of the rodeo spectators – the ladies of course.”

Like most of the other men, Jason and Charlie were wearing only boardshorts, and Charlie said, “I can see why you were such a hit behind the bar, Jason.  That’s some fine build you got on you – ripped fucking body, fat-free, perfect physique. As you’re into hot guys sexually I can see why you jerk off looking at yourself.  How d’you stay in that kinda shape, dude?”

“Thanks for the compliment, Charlie. The thing is, we have a lot of down time in the firehouse when we’re not fighting fires and we spend a lot of it working out.  There’s a gym in every firehouse, so a lot of firemen have great bodies, which accounts for the firemen’s calendars that are so popular.”

“Yeah, but they don’t all end up on the cover like you.  My kids Vic and Noah showed it to me.  They said all the boys keep a copy under their bed and jerk off over your picture when they’re alone and horny. 

“Hey, come to think of it, Jason, that‘s something else we have in common.  There’s gonna be a cowboy calendar – Eddie came to the rodeo and shot great pictures of a lot of us guys.  And guess who’s gonna land on the cover?  Yours truly, in that picture of me riding around bare-chested, waving my shirt in the air in triumph.”

Jason laughed, “Hell, I’ll sure buy that one.  But I won’t keep it under my bed.  I’ll prop it up on my full-length mirror and jerk off looking at you and me together.  What a combo!”

He stopped, with an awkward smile. “Er, that came out sounding a bit weird, uh?  Sorry dude.”

Charlie felt a little uncomfortable but wasn’t sure why, so he changed the subject away from the calendar.  “One of the problems I have, traveling around so much on the rodeo circuit, is finding the time to work out and a gym to do it.  When I visit the guys I use the gym in their basement, but I don’t feel like driving back down there this weekend.

“You don’t have to, Charlie.  How do you think Grady stays in the shape he needs to maintain as an action-hero movie star?  He has a professionally equipped gym in the basement here.  Your brother Randy puts him through bone-crushing workouts.”  Jason chuckled.  “Grady’s so impressed, he got Randy listed as ‘physical trainer’ in the closing credits of all his movies.”

“The gym sounds perfect, dude.  I see most of the guys are drifting away – diving in the pool or wandering about the grounds admiring Mario and Finn’s landscaping.  So now seems a perfect time for a workout.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Jason said.  “See, even on my days off I always work out with the equipment I’ve got in my house.  Today I was gonna use Grady’s gym.  You want a gym partner, cowboy?”

“Sure, why not?   I need all the help I can get.  Maybe I can get a few tips from you and wind up with a body like yours, eh?”  Charlie turned to his boys, still deep in animated conversation with Ben.  “Kids, I’m gonna go work out downstairs with Jason.  You be OK here for an hour or two?”

“Sure, sir,” they chorused. 

Charlie clapped Jason on the back.  “OK, pardner, let's go.”

<><>    Comparing Bodies    <><>

After they left Ben grinned at Vic and Noah.  “I know something they don’t know ... and not many of the guys do.   Brian told me the secret ... he knows all the secrets of this house.  Right next to the gym in the basement is a storage room, and it has a window that looks right into the gym.  But it’s not any old window – it’s a two-way mirror.  On one side you can see right into the gym, but on the other side the guys in the gym see only their own reflections.

“Grady had it put in for reasons we can only guess at.  But Brian told me he goes down there with his boyfriend Brandon and they jerk each other off watching guys work out.”

Vic and Noah’s eyes gleamed as they grinned at each other.  Vic said, “So what are we waiting for, Ben?   Let’s go.”

Indoors they went down to a small corridor with two doors.  One was to the gym, the other was a storeroom whose only light came from a floor-length window with a view of the brightly lit gym.  The three boys settled on a bench in front of it and Noah whispered, “Are you sure they can’t see us, Ben?”

“Dead sure.  But I’m not sure how soundproof it is, so don’t make a noise.”

The view was already stunning.  The fireman and the cowboy, wearing only boardshorts, looked straight at their own reflections in the mirror.  They didn’t realize they were looking straight at the excited boys who sat watching them on the other side.

In the gym, the men study their side-by-side reflections and Jason said, “See the differences between us, Charlie?  We’re the same height, same muscularity, except you see the difference in our pecs?”

“Yeah I do.”  Charlie extended his hand to the mirror and traced the contours of their bodies with a finger, which he ran first round his own chest, “See, my pecs are big and rounded with less definition than yours.”  He traced Jason’s chest.  “Yours have that great square-cut look with real sharp definition.” 

They faced each other and Charlie pressed his palms against Jason’s chest. “See? Rock hard.  That’s what I want, dude. And I really dig those big hard nipples of yours.  Wish mine were like that – they highlight the pecs and prob’ly turn on the ladies. How’d you get ‘em like that?”

“Ah,” Jason laughed, “that comes from so many guys squeezing and twisting them when we have sex.  Let me show you.”  He pressed his fingertips on Charlie’s nipples and increased the pressure until he was squeezing them tight.  Charlie gasped and Jason asked, “Too much?”

“No, don’t stop.  Hurts, but it feels good.” 

After a few more seconds Jason stopped.  “See how they’ve popped?  You do that regular – or someone does it for you – and they’ll stay big.  Especially if you take it to the next level.”  He squeezed them again but this time dug his nails in.

“Aaagh,” Charlie gasped.  “Fuck that hurts.” He grabbed Jason’s wrists and tried to push them away.  “That’s enough, dude ... no.”  When Jason let go he gave the nipples a final painful tug.

“Wow, man, that was something else.”  He brushed his own nipples with the back of his fingers.  “Damn, they’re ultra-sensitive.”

“Sure they are. And that’s when your lady friend would bend down and lick them, send you through the roof.”  Jason licked his own fingers and rubbed them gently over Jason’s tits. 

“Yeah, I see what you mean. Fucking hot.  I’ll remember that, send the ladies wild licking them like that.”

Jason grinned, “One guy I knew, we used to use tit-torture as a sort of contest.  Wanna give it a try?”

Standing face to face they reached forward and squeezed each others’ tits.  As the pain increased their eyes bore into each other, psyching each other out.  It was an evenly matched trial of strength, but as the pain increased Charlie was at a disadvantage as his nipples were already sore from Jason’s earlier work on them.  So at last he gasped, “OK, man, you win.  Damn that hurts.”

Jason stopped instantly and Charlie said, “Your workouts always this competitive, dude?”

“That’s the best kind of gym partner – pushing each other to their limits.”

“OK, so let’s do it, fireman.  Let the workout begin.”

<><>    The Ultimate Alpha-Male Bonding    <><>

Watching from the storeroom, the boys were mesmerized by the sight of the fireman and the cowboy going from one exercise to another, working different body parts in turn, starting with the pecs.  They bench-pressed in turn trying to one-up each other with the number of reps, urging each other on to greater effort. 

When Charlie stood behind Jason, spotting him, he yelled, “One more, dude ... push ... you can do it.”  He stared down at Jason’s straining body, flexed muscles on full display as sweat beaded on his forehead and trickled down the cleft between his bulging pecs.

Behind the mirror the three boys were already stroking their cocks at the homoerotic fantasy of the two gym jocks in muscle-crunching competition. 

When they came to the cable flies Charlie stood arms raised high in a V, grabbed the handles and slowly pulled the cable down in front of his chest.  Jason stood behind him, pressing against his back.  He reached round him and clamped his palms on Charlie’s pecs, feeling them strain.  “Feel that, dude?  Now hold it still as long as you can, then slowly release.”

Charlie grinned. “Felt great, man.  Damn, working out with you is a whole different thing.  You’re a great partner, with that epic fucking body to inspire me.”

Next, Charlie watched Jason do pull-ups, then it was his turn.  He reached up, grabbed the bar in a wide grip and effortlessly pulled his chin up to the bar.  “Great exercise, uses your whole bodyweight.  Now you, dude.” 

Charlie copied him and pulled himself quickly up and down.  But Jason said, “Nah, too fast dude.  Here let me show you. Stay right where you are.”  Facing him Jason jumped up to the bar and grabbed it, his hands next to Charlie’s.  They hung face to face from the bar, arms stretched up, bodies pressed against each other.  “OK, now lift with me.”

The boys could hardly believe their eyes, watching the two men, arms stretched up, pulling up together.  Their faces inches apart they rose and fell slowly, their shorts chafing against each other and falling lower on their waist.  Their chests pressed together, they gasped when their sore nipples rubbed against each other.  Halfway up Jason panted, “OK, pause ... see how long you can hold it, man.” 

Motionless, feet off the floor, they took the strain, gazing into each other’s eyes as they fought to hang on.  Their shoulders and biceps bulging, they got strength from each other, feeling the same effort, the same pain, the same determination to win.  It was an alpha male bonding, two handsome bodybuilders pitting muscle against muscle in a sinew-wrenching contest.

Charlie held on, an act of sheer willpower.  His face fell forward, forehead pressing against Jason’s.  Both faces dripped with sweat, and Charlie’s face slid past his rival’s – cheek against cheek until his chin rested on Jason’s shoulder, against his neck.  He closed his eyes and drew on his own reserves of strength, and Jason’s, their bodies sharing each other’s muscle-power.

Charlie was in another world, aware only of this macho guy’s body pressing against his, chest against chest, stomach against stomach, bulging crotch against bulging crotch. 

And then suddenly ... “aaagh.”  Jason lost his grip and his feet hit the floor. Charlie followed seconds later.  “You win, man,” Jason laughed through panting breaths.  “Damn you cowboys are tough.  OK, let me get my own back.  Abs now, sit-ups.”

He dropped to the floor on his back, bent his elbows and linked his hands behind his head.  “Come on, man, anchor my legs.”

Charlie knelt astride Jason’s thighs, pinning them to the floor as Jason began sit-ups.  Charlie grinned, “You’re exhausted, dude.  Bet you can’t do twenty.”

“You’re on, cowboy.”  Charlie stared down at the blond muscle-jock repeatedly raising his back up off the floor, his ripped eight-pack abs flexing hard.  Charlie was stunned by the fireman’s strength, his virility, his virile beauty – a real man’s man.   He counted up as the sweating gym-jock gritted his teeth, determined to win the challenge ... “eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”

Jason fell back and his chiseled features lit up with a gleaming smile.  “I win, dude.”

Staring down at the handsome face, lips slightly parted, his heaving body gleaming with sweat, Charlie wasn’t thinking, just feeling.  “Goddammit, Jason, you are one tough, beautiful hot stud.”  Overwhelmed with lust and admiration, Charlie gave vent to his feelings by falling forward on Jason ... and kissing him ravenously, mouths open, tongues probing.

In the next room Ben gasped.  “He’s kissing him.  My big brother is kissing another man.”  Vic and Noah watched speechless.

When Charlie finally pulled back Jason grinned and reached up to Charlie’s chest.  “Let’s see what you got, cowboy.”  He squeezed his nipples hard and Charlie reciprocated.  It was the final contest, two macho studs, a fireman and a cowboy, indulging their competitive animal lust. 

They squeezed hard, howling in pain and passion, until Charlie fell forward grabbed Jason’s wrists, and pinned his stretched arms to the ground.  Their mouths locked again in a ravenous kiss, their bodies grinding together, lubricated by sweat. Their shorts had been dragged down to their hips, their bulging cocks churned against each other, shuddered ... and simultaneously spurted semen between their bodies.

Panting hard, driven by raw lust, Charlie pulled back, impulsively licked the cum from Jason’s abs and chest, then fell forward and kissed him again, cum flowing from mouth to mouth.  They rolled over the floor in a tangle of sweat-soaked limbs, kissing and laughing like maniacs.”

Jason yelled, “I always knew it, Charlie ... you’re one of us ...”

<><>    Bob & Randy Take Charge    <><>

The boys had jerked off as they watched, spellbound, the unreal spectacle of the rugged cowboy, a ladies’ man, having sex with another man. 

But Jason’s impulsive triumphant shout had jolted Charlie back to the real world, his straight world.  The boys’ excitement turned to alarm as Charlie sprang to his feet, dazed, confused and appalled by what had just happened.  “NO ... it’s not true.  I’m not one of you.  Never will be.  Fuck you, man.  I gotta get out of this place.  Fuck you all.”

He yanked up his shorts and ran from the room.  Vic and Noah rushed from the storage room and followed him up the stairs, while Ben ran into the gym to his man Jason.  “Sir, what was all that?  What just happened?”

“Damned if I know, kid.  But Charlie sure rushed out of here like a bat out of hell.”

Upstairs Vic and Noah ran across the lawn trying to keep up with their man.  “Sir, what’s the matter?  Wait for us.”

Charlie stopped and glared at them.  “I gotta get out of this place, I don’t belong here.  I’ll just get my gear and get the hell away, back to my own world.”  He rushed into the house leaving the boys stunned behind him.

Bob and Randy had been lazing by the pool and had seen Charlie appear from the basement and yell at the boys.  They leaped to their feet and ran over to the young boys, standing in a state of shock. “Guys, what the hell happened?” asked Randy.

“He’s leaving, sir,” Vic stammered.  “He said he’s got to get away ... he’s leaving us.”

“Why?” Bob asked calmly.  “What went on in the gym, boys?”

Their replies were incoherent.  “He worked out with Jason ... they were ... having fun ... and then Charlie ... he kissed Jason and they ... kind of had sex, rolling over on the floor ... But then he got mad and yelled at Jason, and ...”  Noah looked up at them with tears in his eyes. “Don’t let him leave, sirs, please.  He said he loved us, we were his boys.  Please sirs ...”

Tears started to flow and Bob said, “Boys, we’ll take care of this, leave it to us. Don’t worry, we’ll go talk to Charlie, make sure he doesn’t leave.  You go over there and talk to Brandon, have a drink and tell him what happened.”  He looked up and beckoned to Brandon who had watched the scene and quickly wheeled himself up to them.

Bob mouthed, ‘Take care of them, eh?’

Brandon smiled at the boys.  “Hey, guys, come over there with Brian and me.  We got some serious margaritas going on.  I’ll send someone to go look for your buddy Nate.”

They looked up at Bob who smiled and nodded reassuringly.  Dazed, they followed Brandon to where Brian was sitting with the pitcher of ‘serious margaritas’.

Bob looked at Randy and sighed.  “Oh dear, what now?  Another drama.  We gotta go talk some sense into that cowboy brother of yours, Randy.”

“Damn straight.  I’ll sort him out.  We speak the same language.” 

Bob smiled, “Texan to Texan, eh?  OK, seems there’s no time to lose.”

<><>    Boss Randy Lays Down The Law    <><>

When they got to the guestroom Charlie shared with his boys the door was wide open and Charlie was inside angrily stuffing clothes into his backpack.”

“Charlie, what you doin’?” Randy asked.

“I’m getting the hell out of here, that’s what.  I can’t hang with you guys anymore.”

“Why ever not?  What the fuck happened?”

“I made the mistake of working out with that fireman, Jason.  Things got hot and heavy, real competitive, and I lost my mind, ended up kissing him!” 

“Is that all?” Bob chuckled.  “That don’t mean anything Charlie.  A lot of gym buddies bond after a long, strenuous workout, admiring each other’s body.  Everyone hugs.”

“You don’t get it, dude.  This was no man-hug.  I fucking kissed the dude, right on the lips.  I got a fucking hard-on and shot my wad all over him.  We clamped our mouths together again and rolled around, sliding on fucking jizz.  It was gross, fucking disgusting.  Then he had the gall to say ‘I knew you were one of us all along'. 

“Well I got a newsflash for y’all.  I am straight, right?  I fuck women. I am not fucking queer like you all, that’s not my lifestyle.  I always heard you guys recruited men ... seems it’s true. But not me.  I ain’t gonna be ‘recruited’ by no one into ... into ...”

Bob bristled.  “... into our gross, disgusting, queer lifestyle?  Are those the words you’re searching for, Charlie?  Like we’re a depraved bunch of misfits – inferior to you straight tough guys who fuck women.  Well I don’t wanna hear those words, from you or anyone else.  What’s really disgusting is you, asshole, and if that’s what you’ve been thinking of us all along, it’s better you do get the hell out, before you get ‘recruited’ and take a dick up your straight ass.”

“Wait a goddam minute,” Randy roared. “What the hell’s going on here?  My man and my brother slinging insults at each other?  Cut it out.  I’m the boss around here and I don’t wanna hear any more of this bullshit.  So sit the fuck down ... now!”

When the raging gypsy got that crazed look in his blazing eyes, flexed his muscles and clenched his fists, he was so terrifying there wasn’t a man alive who’d go against him.  Sit!” he yelled again, as if to a defiant dog.  Sullenly they sat down.

“Right, you first,” jabbing a finger at Charlie.  “I don’t give a shit what went on the gym, I don’t care if you got gang-fucked and spit-roasted by a bunch of gym-jocks, and splashed your load all over them.  But you have absolutely no right to insult me and Bob and the rest of all those great men and boys out there.  You were way out of line, bro.

“And you’re not much better,” whirling on Bob.  “I know you were only protecting all the guys you love so much, throwing Charlie’s insults back at him, and I respect you for that.  But you totally lost your cool, buddy.  I’m the one you always accuse of losing my temper and lashing out with my fists.  But that’s me, it’s what I do.  I expect better from you.  You’re supposed to be this hotshot lawyer diplomat calming everyone down.  Instead, you lashed out at my brother.

“So the first thing that’s gonna happen is you two shake hands and apologize.  That’s an order.”  They looked at each other and grudgingly shook hands with muttered apologies.

“Huh, bit feeble but that’ll have to do for now, I guess.  Because there’s another issue that’s way more important than any of this bull-crap.  Down there right now are two vulnerable young kids who think their world just collapsed around them.  They’ve been hurt bad – I’ve thrashed men for doing that to a boy.  Charlie, did you mean it when you told them you were leaving them?”

“Of course not, Randy.  I love those kids like they were my own kid brothers, I would never walk out on them.”

“Right, so that’s exactly what you’re gonna tell them.”  He pulled out his phone and punched a number.  “Hey Will, what’s happening down there?”

“Well sir, everyone’s kind of stunned and rallying round Noah and Vic – they’re pretty shook up.”

“OK, so I want you to bring them up to Charlie’s room.  Also, bring a bottle of that special Scotch from my stash.  Can you do it fast, kiddo?”

“In a flash, sir.  Give us two minutes.” 

True to his word, two minutes later Will came up with the Scotch and glasses on a tray, followed nervously by the boys.  Will put the tray on a table, brushed the tears from the boys’ cheeks and whispered to Randy, “Sir, you will make everything come right, won’t you?”

Randy grinned and ruffled Will’s red hair.  “When have I ever let you down, Red?  Sure I’ll take care of them.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear, sir.  Thank you.”  With a reassuring smile to the boys, Will made a quick exit.

Randy turned and flashed a smile at Vic and Noah.  “OK, kids, I’m in charge now and I promise nothing bad’s gonna happen to you.  Now, you told us you know what happened in the gym.  Did you actually see it?”

”Yes, sir,” Vic said.  “Ben took us to a storeroom next to the gym that has a two-way mirror, so we watched it all.”

“Damn,” Randy grinned, “I did not know that. We gotta check that out, Bob.  OK, kids, now my brother, Cowboy Charlie, has something to say to you.”

Randy stepped back and watched as Charlie got to his feet, walked over to them and wrapped his arms round then in a tight hug.  “Kids, all that stuff I told you about leaving ... it was bullshit, heat-of-the-moment bullshit.  I love you guys, you’re my boys and I could never abandon you. “I’m sorry I reacted stupidly after all that gym stuff, shot my mouth off and made you sad. I hope you can forgive me, and I’ll make it up to you in a few days when I take you up to Fresno for my next rodeo gig.  You still up for that?”

“Yes please, sir,” they chorused, eyes shining.

“Great, and when I’ve finished up here with these guys, you and me will spend the rest of the day together having fun – in the pool, puttering around the grounds here, whatever you want.”

Vic, the bolder of the two, took a deep breath and said, “Sir, Noah and me, we never really thought you would leave us, ‘cos we love you and we know you love us too, sir.”

Charlie’s eyes were moist as he kissed them both on the mouth.  The boys smiled at Randy and Bob and left the room – a whole lot happier than when they came in..

Randy grinned.  “Well done, bro.  Couldn’t have said it better myself, and those kids are walking on air.  Now we gotta settle your hash and work out what’s going on in that addled brain of yours.  Which is where the Scotch comes in.  It’s the smoothest you ever tasted, and perfect for solving the world’s problems.”

They sat down at the small table and Randy poured three Scotches. He raised his glass and said, “To us, whichever way we swing, whatever team we play for.”

“To us!”  They drank, and Randy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.  “OK, I’ve had my say, my rant, and now it’s time to talk turkey.   Bob’s better at working out complicated shit like this, so my work here is done.  Over to you, buddy.” 

Randy poured another drink and sprawled back in his chair.  They were both acutely aware he was watching them, and if they lost their cool again he would come down on them like a ton of bricks.  Bob knew he couldn’t live up to that kind of scrutiny and he had an idea. 

“Randy, you said I can work out stuff like this, but I can’t, and I don’t wanna risk giving bad amateur advice.  I’m an attorney, dealing in facts, and a financier who analyzes figures, not feelings.  That takes a shrink.  You see where I’m going with this?”

“Damn straight.  You’re right buddy.”  Randy got up and went to the window, opened it and scanned the guys lounging around below.  He yelled, “Hey, Steve, I need you.  Do me a favor and get your ass up here, will ya?  Charlie’s room.”

He sat down, took another swig of Scotch and grinned.  “Charlie, if there’s anyone can untangle this whole mess it’s our brother Doc Steve.  You OK with that?”

“Whatever it takes, big brother, I’m all for it.”

<><>    The Shrink Explores Love & Life    <><>

Steve came in smiling.  “Wow, a family gathering – all the brothers except for kid brother Ben.  He’s busy holding court down there, breathlessly describing what he and the kids saw from that storage room.  Not sure I approve of that two-way mirror thing, by the way.  Sounds a bit too much like spying to me.  But that’s a whole ‘nother conversation.

“Meantime, I had a kind of feeling I’d get pulled into this one.  Charlie, when I heard Ben describing your reaction to your workout with Jason, he made it sound really dramatic – but not unusual to me. I’ve heard stories like that, in one form or another, from many of my patients.”

“Really doc?  How’d you mean?” 

“Well, like the married guy, for instance, who got drunk and slept with another guy and loved it, even though he’s still in love with his wife.  A lot of married guys tell me they feel sexual urges for other guys.  Hell, Randy and Bob here were running away from bad marriages when they met by chance in that bar, and look at them now.

“Then there’s the straight guy who finds himself spending a lot of time with his straight neighbor as they have so much in common.  As the friendship gets deeper, more intimate, it takes on a sexual edge and he finds himself lusting for the friendly neighbor as they shoot hoops together.

“Not to mention the macho, straight gym jocks who work out together and end up body worshiping and fucking. Gyms are all about muscles and perfect bodies so they’re fertile ground for that kinda stuff.

OK, so let’s get back to you, Charlie.  I’ve a feeling Ben might have been exaggerating what he saw in the gym.” Steve chuckled, “His pal Eddie’s mantra is ‘exaggerations welcome’.  So, if I’m to be of any help, I’d like to hear the real story, straight from the horse’s mouth.  Maybe we can unravel what was going through that brain of yours.”

“But that’s just the thing, Steve, I don’t think anything was going through my brain, not conscious thoughts anyway, certainly not logic.  It was all ... raw sensation, new feelings crashing into each other.  First of all there’s Jason with that incredible body and gorgeous face, looking into the mirror and getting off on both of us.  And I picked up the same vibes.

“As I worked out hard with him, body against body, it was like I picked up his energy.  We bonded ... I guess it was partly body worship, or something.”

Steve smiled, “As I said, Charlie, nothing unusual in that, even among straight guys.  That’s what a great workout is all about – pushing your body to the limit.  It gets the adrenaline and testosterone racing, plays havoc with the hormones.”

“It sure did with us, bro. In the end we were both panting hard, nearing exhaustion.  I looked down at that chiseled face of his and suddenly, before I knew it ... I was kissing him.  Maybe, I dunno, I needed to express my ... admiration ... my bodily connection with him – something like that. 

“But here’s the kicker, doc ... when I kissed him, I loved it, I fucking loved it, man, and I busted my load all over him.  I couldn’t let him go, I felt wild exhilaration and we rolled over together, covered in our own jizz.  I was in a kind of sexual trance, but I was jolted out of it when Jason shouted, ’I always knew it – you’re one of us’.  Which, in my mind, meant I was gay. 

“But I’m not – I’m straight, Steve, always have been.  Dammit I fuck enough rodeo groupies to prove it.”

Steve interrupted.  “But Charlie, to coin a phrase, this ain’t your first time at the rodeo, is it?  I mean, it’s already folklore in the tribe that when you first showed up, Randy did his usual thing and butt-fucked you.  And even now, if you’ll pardon me bringing up something so intimate, those sweet boys of yours suck your cock and you all get off on it.  They love boasting about it.”

“Yeah, but those things were different, doc.  Randy does this initiation thing to any new guy.  It wasn’t exactly consensual sex, but I loved it only because it meant my big brother accepted me in the tribe.  As for the boys, I love those kids and wanna give them pleasure.  It’s great looking down at their eager young faces as they take care of my boner.  But it’s not sexual lust as it was with Jason.”

“Hmm, I get your point, Charlie.  But let me ask you something else.  You were crazy upset about your sexual feelings for Jason – lust or whatever it was.  You told Bob and Randy it was ‘gross, disgusting’ and shouted, ‘I’m straight, right?  I fuck women. I am not fucking queer like you all, that’s not my lifestyle’.  You even accused the ‘queers’ of recruiting men, and insisted that no one was gonna recruit you.

“I may not have the quote exactly right, I heard it reported second hand.  And I know you’ll tell me it was irrational stuff that you blurted out in the heat of the moment.  That may be true on the surface, Charlie, but the fact is, you said it, so somewhere deep down you must really have negative feelings like that.

“Which brings me to my question.  Charlie, do you feel that being straight is somehow superior to being gay?   That fucking women is normal and therefore more manly than the ‘gross’ act of men fucking men?”

“Charlie’s mind was reeling and there were tears in his eyes.  “I ... I ... no, I don’t ... at least ... I mean, deep down maybe I do... that’s what society teaches, the guys I hang with, so maybe I ...  But Steve, that would mean turning my back on all you guys here, and I can’t do that. I love you all, men and boys, I love being with y’all. 

“But see, when I’m not here, the rodeo is my world and I love being the macho cowboy – taming broncos, roping steers, riding around the ring, waving my shirt in the air.  I get off on the cheers from the crowd.  I’m the king of the ring, admired by the men and loved by the ladies.  And afterwards I get my pick of the girls and I love fucking them, riding them like I ride the stallions.

“Fuck, what I’m saying Doc is I’m straight.  I’m not gay ... I’m fucking straight, man.”

“Or bisexual ...?”

“Oh no, don’t play that card, doc.  Bisexual is just code for gay.  When a guy says he’s bisexual, gay guys say, ‘yeah right ... that means he’s gay’. It’s wishful thinking.  In my book, a guy is one thing or the other, straight or gay, there’s no in between.”

Steve smiled.  “Charlie, that book of yours is outdated.  Things have changed over the years ... well, maybe not so much in pockets of your state, Texas, and the southern states, that cling to the old homophobic prejudices. The rest of the country sees a brighter light.  I always say it’s a matter of percentages.  We all fit somewhere on a scale between totally straight and totally gay.

“The problem is this, Charlie – putting labels on things.  Bob and Randy have taught the men and boys of the tribe not to do that.  They themselves are prime examples of that for the rest of this diverse family they have attracted and gathered around them – and by the way, Charlie, I said attracted, not recruited.

“When these two guys – a sophisticated business executive and a rugged gypsy laborer – gaze into each other’s eyes and make love, that doesn’t make them gay, straight, or any other cliché.  It simply means they are two men in love.  Love has no boundaries, Charlie, no easy definition.  There are as many kinds of love in the world, as many subtle shadings, as there are people.

“Take your love of your boys – a macho cowboy and two shy young office workers. Doesn’t get much different than that.  You should take your cue from those kids.  When they’re with you they don’t care about gay, straight or anything else.  They love you for yourself, Charlie, simple as that.

And look around you – a cop and a surfer ... a macho Marine captain and a fun-loving boy ... a classy Hispanic executive chef and an ex-street hustler ... a Forest Ranger and a boy in a wheelchair.  Heck, in this very house, a major international movie star and a young disabled kid who, until recently, was hiding away all alone in a desert trailer park.

“That’s love, Charlie.  No labels ... pure love.  So my advice to you is grab all of it while you can.  Love the boys who idolize you, and enjoy working out with a hunky fireman, even indulge your lust again as you did today – kiss him, fuck him, let him fuck you ... whatever the hell you both feel like.  As the old saying goes, Charlie ... it’s all good!”

Steve chuckled.  “Dammit, we shrinks sure can talk.  I’ve been sounding off so long you must be sick of my voice.  Now I’m gonna shut my mouth, take my own advice and go kiss my lover Lloyd.  Charlie, if you get confused like this again, be sure to come and see me.  It don’t hurt to have a shrink for a brother, eh?”  

Charlie’s cheeks were streaked with tears.  “Thanks, doc. I love you bro.  I’ll come down with you ... I need to go hug my boys.”

After they left, Bob and Randy both had moist eyes.  Bob said, “That’s some brother you got there Randy ... both of them.”

“Yeah, and now there’s only one thing left for us to do, you and me – you heard what the doc said. So come here you gorgeous business exec, and make love to your rugged gypsy laborer.”

“You think it’s OK to use Charlie’s bed?”

“’Course it is.  Charlie would love it, he’d agree with the doc ... it’s all good.”

<><>    The Gardener    <><>

In the garden men and boys alike were sitting around in a state of suspense.

They had all watched Charlie come up from the gym in a rage and yell at his boys that he was ‘getting the hell out’.  They had seen Bob and Randy follow him, then Will went up with Noah, Vic and a bottle of prime Scotch. And when Randy yelled for Doc Steve they knew for sure something big was going on, with the future of Charlie and his boys hanging in the balance.

So a huge collective sigh of relief went round when Steve emerged, looking well satisfied, and went straight over to Lloyd and gave him a passionate kiss.  He was followed by the cowboy, smiling through his tears, who went over to his boys and pulled them into a long tight hug. Then Jason and Ben joined them.  Jason and Charlie shook hands, all smiles, and the five of them sat happily together.

Two of the most engrossed onlookers were Grady and his boy Brian, indulging Grady’s hunger for gossip.  “Kiddo,” he said, “this is major, major stuff going on here.  No one could make this stuff up, even our script writers.  But where are Randy and Bob ... what are they doing?”

“Duh,” Brian grinned. “What do you think they’re doing, sir?  Look, a big powwow happens upstairs, major shrink session, all about Charlie and Jason, no doubt.  Then a smiling Doc Steve comes out, goes over to Lloyd and kisses him.  Charlie appears, looks like he’s been crying, and hugs his boys, then shakes hands with Jason.  There’s obviously love in the air, and definitely upstairs between Randy and Bob, that’s for sure.”

“So you think everything’s coming out right, kiddo?”

“Duh again, sir. Just add all that up and do the math.”  Brian looked around.  “Where’s Mario, by the way, sir?”

“Oh, he and Finn went into the grounds to discuss their landscaping plans.  He said Finn wanted to finish off a small plot where he planned on planting nasturtiums.  Come on, kid, let’s go find them, fill them in on all the gossip.”

They took off through the grounds.  In the distance, in a small, secluded area, they saw what looked like Finn, but no sign of Mario.  Brian said, “Looks like Finn’s already working on the plot and Mario’s left him to it.  He’s working hard digging, sir, maybe we shouldn’t interrupt.”

“You’re right, kid, but let’s get a bit closer.”  They went to a spot, hidden from view by shrubs, as Finn energetically dug up the earth.  The hunky disheveled ex-hustler was dressed in boots, frayed jeans and a ragged dirt-streaked T-shirt over his muscular chest and shoulders.”

“Wow,” Grady sighed, “look at that, Brian – a classic homoerotic fantasy.  I once saw a porn-flick about a muscle-stud gardener, sweating under the hot sun as he worked, just like that.  A perfect jack-off image, especially when the handsome young master of the house comes up, throwing around his orders, treating the gardener like dirt.”

“And I suppose the gardener retaliates by working the young master over real good, sir.”

“Exactly, kiddo.  You must have seen the same video.”  Brian grinned and rolled his eyes.

“Wait a minute,” Grady whispered.  “He’s stopped digging.” 

Finn stuck his spade in the soil and stretched, squinting in the sun.  Suddenly he reached behind his neck, pulled his shirt off over his head and used it to wipe his sweating body, leaving heavy streaks of dirt on his face and chest. 

“Oh fuck,” Grady groaned, “will you look at that.  Total fantasy.  Let’s just sit here and watch for a bit.”

Finn tucked the ragged shirt in his back pocket, where it swung down over his tight butt that flexed as he resumed digging.  Brian smiled.  “Sir, I think this is one fantasy you should enjoy by yourself.  I think you can manage on your own.  I have work to do.”

“OK, kiddo.  I’ll be fine.  I’ll keep out of sight and hope he don’t see me.”

“That’s right, sir, you hope away.”

Smiling to himself, Brian wheeled himself away leaving Grady sitting against a tree, his gaze riveted on the brawny dirt-streaked young gardener – long waist, slim hips, muscles rippling as he worked stripped to the waist, sweating under the hot sun.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> 

 TO BE CONTINUED in “A Trial Of Strength” – Book 13: Chapter 20