A Fresh Start

“I don’t even know your name!”

I lay snuggled next to Walt. I was deliciously sore from his thick eleven inch cock thoroughly plowing my ass. I was feeling wonderful, then this question.

While we talked a lot, we still knew relatively little about each other. I knew he'd been married once. I knew it ended badly for him. After ten years, he still felt the hurt. Several times he has told me I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him. I knew he had a daughter by an older woman when he was in high school. He seldom saw her. She was also older than me by a handful of years. I knew about his parents and sister. I knew more about him than he knew of me.

All he knew was that I was the mistress of a very wealthy couple. And…..my first name.

I was afraid, but if I wanted Walt to trust me, I would have to tell him everything. Before he asked. No matter how sordid or painful. I took a deep breath and took the leap.

“My full name is Angela Nikita Kutuzov.”

“Angela Nikita Kutuzov…….that’s a lovely name,” he commented. “But what’s your real name?”

“I was born Andrew Nikita Smith, 1990, to Brian and Anna Smith.”

He looked bemused.

“I was named after both grandfathers. I took my mother’s maiden name when I became Angie. I had it legally changed.”

Walt asked if I had any pictures of me as Andrew. I got up and pulled out a box from under the bed. I handed him my last picture as Andrew. I was with a group of boys at a school function. Walt studied it a long time, then look at me before returning to the photograph. He lightly caressed my face, then returned to the photo.

“Don’t tease me,” I pleaded.

“I’m not, “he replied.

Walt got up and had me come to the mirror. I stood there, sheet wrapped around me, and looked at myself. He placed the picture next to my reflection. My hair was much longer, now, my face a little fuller. I could find me, but I could see how Walt couldn’t. I wasn’t smiling in the photo. I smile a lot for Walt.

He couldn’t believe it when I told him. We spent the morning at the table looking through old family photos.

“Please, don’t be offended, but you look better as a woman,’ he said, then added. “You were a happy child, but in your teens, you never smile. You also started showing more feminine features.”

I smiled sadly as he caressed my cheek. Although, I was happier, now, my recent past haunted me. I needed to come clean.

“Are you happy, now?” he asked. “With me?” he asked a little more tentatively.

“Very” I replied. “But I want us to stay happy together. I need to tell you everything. I want you to have no doubts about me.”

Walt looked apprehensive, but waited until I’d cleared the table and returned with fresh coffee.

I told him of my first time, with Dave, and how he’d used me and sold me. Walt looked stunned as I relived all the experiences in the adult bookstore. The group sex, all the strangers. How I accepted “gifts” from the older married men I dated. About being “sold” to Jackie’s clients. 

About Miguel and Silve.

Walt darkened at this. He told me that he’d won my services for a night from Miguel in a poker game. He never collected. 

Months later, I seduced him when he renovated Miguel’s new apartment. Even then, he’d wondered if Miguel, or Silve, had set me up to seduce him. The two weeks he spent with me convinced him I genuinely wanted him. He also told me Miguel had openly bragged about buying me from Jackie.

I was stunned at the revelation. I hadn’t realized how little I’d really meant to Miguel. I was so ashamed, I wanted to run, but Walt took me in his arms and gently stroked my hair. Walt was very concerned about me, but I saw a fleeting thought cross his features.

“Walt, I have been tested every three months since I was twenty. Since I started working for Jackie. I’ve been extremely foolish, but also extremely lucky. And I will keep testing myself.”

Walt tried to hide his relief. I pretended not to notice. I gave him a lot to think about, but I was about to hand him a whole lot more.

I brought my laptop to the table and called up a couple of porn sites. Walt had never expressed any interest in porn. I never found a single men’s magazine in his place.

“Walt, there are videos of me on the web. I want you to….no…..I need you to see what I was like…how far I was willing to go.”

Walt stared silently at the movies of me with other trannies, or women. He paled a little at the movies were I was used by two men at a time. He stared in horror at the videos of me being gang banged and the BDSM. He watched as men brutally fucked my ass and made me suck them clean. He saw men lined up to fuck me, stepping up whenever the on before them finished. He watched as men covered my face and body with their cum. He wept silently as men, and other trannies tied me and whipped me. He turned his face away when I asked if there were any more waiting, begging for more! All made before I started working for Jackie. All filmed by Dave. Fortunately for me, he’d made a phony screen name for me.

I wept in shame as Walt sat silently. I’d lost him and prepared to leave.

“It might be best if I moved back to my apartment for a while”, I said tearfully. I felt lower than I ever had.

As I reached the door I heard Walt pleading with me to stay. He looked as forlorn as I felt. I waited as he came to me and took me in his arms.

“Angie, I want you to stay. You can leave any time you want, but I hope you won’t. I love you.”

Walt had whispered his love when he thought I couldn’t hear him. He needed to express himself, but didn’t want to put pressure on me. He didn’t know it wasn’t pressure, it was an anchor, a lifeline to a dying heart.

I turned and cried, “How can you live a whore? A dirty…..cheap…..whore?”

“I don’t love a whore,” he whispered. “I love a deeply troubled young woman. I love you!”

He added, “Maybe someday, you’ll love me, too!”

I already did. I was too much a coward to tell him, though. It would be many more weeks before I finally admitted my feelings to him out loud.

“Please, I need a little time to myself,” I said as I walked out the door.

I walked around a couple of hours and ended up sitting on a bench by a pond, watching kids feeding the ducks. I must have sat there most the afternoon. Late in the day, Walt sat down next to me, not saying a word. Just having him sit quietly by my side gave me comfort.

As the sun set, I took his hand and said, “Let’s go home.”

As I lay next to him that night, I desperately needed to feel his cock in me. I wanted to pleasure of a very sore ass. But all he did was hold me close. I wanted his cock to know his love. Instead, he gave me what I needed.

“I don't care about your past. I don't care who you were. I don’t care what you did! All I know is that I love you. The sweet loving woman you are now.”

A few weeks later, I came home from classes to find a blown glass rose on the bar. The note read:

As this rose will never fade, neither will my love for you.

That night I told Walt how much I loved him. 

This would be the first of many such roses over our years together. I have one in every room of our house, and one in my office. An ever present reminder of how much Walt loves me.

We fuck whenever passion overtakes us. He rams that big cock up my ass whenever lust overwhelms us. But our best sex is when we share our bodies with each other. When he spends the time sucking my small cock. When he spends an hour licking my ass, making sure I'm satisfied. When he holds me tight, kissing me deeply, as he slowly and steadily fucks me with that wonderfully large cock most the night.

Although, I once told him I wanted other women and transsexuals, I only slept with one, Stephanie. Later, I would sleep with one other man, but only with Walt's permission. I no longer felt the need to sleep around. I no longer had to give my body to feel loved and cherished.

- Angela Kutuzov Schumann