Public Exposure: Find the Naked Guys

Next time you're walking down the street on an errand or shopping for wine or refrigerators or pumping your gas, do your best to make things interesting. Find the naked guys.

Sure, each may be seconds away from being kicked out or arrested, but they are doing their duty by striving to make your day more exciting. After you're done sizing up each naked situation to see if you're in imminent danger or not, you're free to gawk and even join in.

After all, if everyone exposes themselves while pumping their gas (to the person taking the picture and likely to security cameras), then it's harder for the authorities to decide who to go after.

This is why zebras live in herds. Or more specifically, a group of zebras is called a zeal or a dazzle. The black and white curved stripes confuse predators to the point they don't know where one zebra ends and the next one starts, so it's hard to pick out a target.

So if every guy in the wine aisle is nude, you may only be able to pick them out by other factors, like footwear or the type of wine they are carrying.

"There's a naked guy in my store!" complained the shopkeeper.

"You have to be more specific!" demanded the police.

Still, those pesky security cameras. Shopkeepers may get smart and start their own porn sites.

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