Porn Fail: When A Performer's Hair Is The Star

Ryan Sparks is fairly new and trying to make it big in Pornland. I guess he doesn't know that his hair is not supposed to be the star of the scene. And how could he? He's only filmed a handful of scenes.

Maybe this whole porn thing has gone to his head. Maybe he thinks a porno is like a GQ fashion shoot where a pompadour fits right in with the ugly clothes that don't fit. But this is not a fashion runway, it's a porn video. And Ryan's pompadour is a distraction.

The premise of this scene is hot: four supposed straight dudes play a game of naked Simon Says. Simon says make out with his nipple like you want to take it home and fuck it. Simon says stick his balls in your mouth too. Simon says make out with him for fifteen seconds. See, hot stuff.

Oh wow, that guy really can get that dude's dick and balls in his mouth. That's a turn on. Oh shit, there's that hair again. See, distraction. Pompadour equals boner killer.

And it's not just ridiculous hair dos, but I've seen guys in videos wearing bandaids or dirty feet, I've seen guys with zits ready to explode or anal warts, or my favorite is the guy who decided to shave his bum the night before the shoot and now it's covered in teeny tiny pimples. Oh baby. Why do porn producers let performers get away this silliness?

It's simple, Pornland suffers from Crank It Out syndrome. There's so much competition for our attention that a lot of producers just push out videos without much concern for quality. More is better. Keep it coming. Faster. More, more, more. But I wouldn't mind seeing less if it meant better quality. Wouldn't you?

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