Kink Spotlight: Obscene Underwear

8 Jan 2019

Kink Spotlight: Obscene Underwear

Obscene is a compliment. These are definitely third date underwear. If the first date consisted of lunch at Veggie Grill followed by 17 seconds of kissing. And the second date consisted of dinner at Veggie Grill followed by 3 minutes and 42 seconds of over the jeans spanking in the back seat of a cab driven by an ogling pervert.

Veggie Grill: processed, mid-priced vegan junk food bringing kinky people together since 2006.

Penis proud underwear is nothing new, though some of the fabrics and more involved designs have evolved. Or devolved depending how you look at it.

Considering the hoards of purposely sexy (not strictly functional) bras out there, and the assumedly multi-million dollar industry that is crotchless panties, I'm surprised the men's erotic underwear options aren't even more expansive.

Kink Spotlight: Obscene Underwear

See Other Amateur Guys Letting It All Hang Out - Click Here

Maybe there are only so many ways to lift up, push out, let hang, and otherwise display these parts before the very fabric of space and time collapse upon themselves and we're all snuffed out of existence. 

Barring that, I think we'll know this junk-displaying, NPRS (Not Project Runway Safe) air quotes underwear has jumped the shark when Buzzfeed has a quiz "What kind of X-rated penis origami men's underwear are you?"

We can only hope the majority of the quiz-taking public gets the square-cut pink pair in which the balls remain uncovered. These may be ironically functional, considering I think sometimes fertility doctors suggest a man wear boxers to benefit his sperm count, so the testicles don't get that that slight bit warmer they will within briefs. So by letting the sack hang, that style is helping increase the possibility of reproduction.

And that will result in a gene pool more predisposed to wear such obscene underwear (once 18). Now that's evolution.

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