Ask GayDemon: The Gift of Filth

Valentine's Day is coming. I'm a hopeless romantic so I have no trouble coming up with fun ways to express my feelings to my boyfriend. We're pretty conventional in the bedroom so this year I'd like to show him that I have a dirty side too. Do you have any ideas on how I can get him to roll around in the mud with me?

-Squeaky Clean

Have you been watching John Waters movies? I hope so. Because maybe with practice you'll be able to compete for Filthiest Person Alive (if you work your boyfriend hard enough).

Imagine that he's thinking the exact same thing as you. That he wants to try some nonconventional things with you but isn't quite sure how to make it happen. Because crazy ideas like communicating directly or, I don't know, being vulnerable in expressing your needs and interests, make totally no sense.

It's convenient that you're using Valentine's Day as an excuse for this. I could say you're finding a lovely way to celebrate the day, and that's partially true, but love and sex are year round. If it can be a catalyst, great, but own the fact that on some level you thought of this.

You do say you want to show you him have a dirty side. And that sounds like being vulnerable and direct. But that's not quite owning the fact that you want to get dirty and kinky with your boyfriend. It's not just you wanting to change his perception of you. You want what you want for you.

So go ahead, take your cock out of his asshole for a minute and kiss the guy for the first time. Because society in general is pretty okay with butt fucking. I mean, people of all genders and orientations have assholes and do it. But kissing and love. Between two guys? That's damn dirty. Almost as filthy and depraved as, oh I can't even say it. It's that horrible.

Now I'm going to write my new personal ad. I think my headline will be: Have Asshole. Will Travel.

And to my readers, if you're single on Valentine's Day, take the $1.95 you saved on a gift and buy yourself something, or someone, special.

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