Ask GayDemon: Smoking and Stroking

I’m looking for somebody with a specific fetish. I’m really into smoking and wanking, I don’t necessarily want any physical sex, just go get off with a guy who likes smoking too. Where can I find a jerk-off smoking buddy or am I wasting my time?
-Cock Smoker

Wow, this is really going to test the limits of this being a judgment-free zone. Except if you look back at some of my other columns, you'll find I'm judgmental as hell. With love. Well, here goes.

Smoking is toxic, dangerous and expensive and can potentially shorten your time on earth meaning less masturbation time. Plus less money for important things like lube and porn.

Guess I blew it on the non-judgmental thing. Anyhow, there isn't an adult smoker around who doesn't know at least some of the well-documented health risks tied to smoking. It's more the teen smokers (the key time tobacco companies try to get people to start) who may not be aware of all the health risks.

So assuming you know the risks and are going full speed ahead anyhow, it comes down to finding a fellow masturbator who is also a voyeur and exhibitionist. Plus who is into smoking. Because a guy who is okay with being around smoke (and that's not a given as second hand smoke is dangerous too) isn't enough for you. He has to be into smoking too.

And I get it. It's sexy for whatever reason, like how society/media/ads  indoctrinate everyone into associating smoking with sex as well as gender expressions (butch or whatnot). Plus the substance itself may gibe with masturbation for you.

So you just need to ask for exactly what you want and especially make clear it's a no touching, purely visual situation. Thankfully for you, a disproportionately large percent of gay and bi guys smoke, due to handy things like stress, targeted advertising, lack of resources to assistance to quit, and more factors. Man, I'm so judgmental I know, I can't help it. I love men's bodies and want us all to be healthy, dammit! I just can't think otherwise. But yeah, I get it's up to you. You own your body. I get it.

So keep looking for in-person (fetish personal sites, talking to guys directly at bars, propositioning them when they're outside smoking. Or if your city allows smoking in bars, then there you go, easy pickings. Hell find someone to jack off with in the men's room and take it from there.

But to maximize your chances, you need to broaden out to playing on cam vs. just in-person. That will pretty much guarantee you'll find someone, if you don't mind the camera lens being a bit obscured by smoke. Just make sure you're both broadcasting in HD.

And if you find someone into this whole thing but with cigars instead of cigarettes, hook up with them. Don't be all no to cigars and yes to cigarettes. That would be crazy.

I promise to return next week less judgmental. Well, at least I made my bias clear. And I do still want you to be sexually satisfied. And if you choose to try to quit smoking at some point, reach out and try to find gay-friendly resources. Last thing you want is to be called a fag in some smoking support group. The irony (due to double meaning of fag) would explode the universe.

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