Ask GayDemon: Sauna Secrets

I'm a first-timer on the sauna scene and a bit nervous about going. My friend has convinced me to go along with him this weekend but I don't know what to expect. Is there some kind of code?
- Sauna Virgin

Yes, and I'm not telling you. Because all normal sex rules go out the window at a bathhouse/sauna despite that they don't often have actual windows. Perhaps some plastic plants and a painting of a palace or dogs playing poker to liven the joint up, but no windows.

Clearly your own personal sex rules no longer apply. For instance, once you're naked or even just in a towel, you lose your ability to say no to people. Consent is irrelevant and STDs don't exist.

Also, once you set foot inside, your friend will ditch you (or awkwardly cling to you). But nothing in between.

And while a few people will use the classic hanky code, that's a bit difficult to do when one is naked and the hanky is either hanging out an asshole or stuffed in a mouth. Though a yellow hanky in one's mouth does clearly indicate wanting to swallow piss, one would have to remove the hanky to actual swallow.


Tough love over because even if there were a code, you get to make up your own boundaries. And you better respect others. So whatever you would do in a bar or party with strangers, do double here. Don't leave your belongings unlocked up. Don't leave a drink unattended (even water). Take care of your feet after. A good soak in a mix of apple cider vinegar and Listerine ought to kill whatever is lurking on that steam room floor. And provide your own lube so you know it's water or silicone based.

I'm generalizing but the point is to be smart, even while you're letting go and having fun.

As for what you were actually asking about, how to find the men of your dreams 9for 10 minutes at a time), you have to know if you're comfortable with other people seeing you in action or not. You can sort of make a bubble with another guy even in a public place in the establishment but true privacy would require a mini-room. Figure out your preference, knowing that having a room may give you a bit more flexibility with your options.

Though probably skip the ass up, blindfolded on your bed moment your first go around.

Some folks d like to meet someone on a hookup app and invite them to your place (as in the sex club). Playing in semi-public can in a way be safer. And you can still fall in love from it. I mean fall in love with the sex club.

Or skip the whole thing and fucks your friend at home and keep the sauna a huge mystery.

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