Ask GayDemon: Begging for Pegging

My  best friend just told me that her husband regularly requests she fuck him with a strap on. I'm afraid that she's married a closeted gay man. How do I break it to her? Should I?

-Gaydar Guy

The only closet going on here is if her husband was hiding from her the fact that he wants her to fuck him. Because last I checked, human biology would dictate that every single person has an asshole. While some of these are more fuckable than others, the fact remains.

If  he happens to be exclusively fantasizing that the strap-on is a human penis, it's still not inherently gay because it's up to her husband how he defines himself in relation to his romantic and sexual relationships (which in this case happen to be with the same person). 

But I still think you should totally tell her that her husband is a closeted gay man. Because if there's one thing sexual liberation has taught us, it's that the more outside of the mainstream something is, the more real it is. So him being a heterosexual man that takes a dildo up his ass (which by the way can't help but be of a phallic shape in some regard) is somehow less sexually liberated than being a closeted gay man which is then itself less liberated from being an openly gay man.

So definitely tell her because she could use a good laugh. And if you can gather additional proof, such as that he watches straight porn (which does often have penises in it) or that he's watched RuPaul's Drag Race or a Sarah Jessica Parker romantic comedy or once cooked his wife dinner that involved julienne carrots, then go for it. 

And make sure to show her everything in a PowerPoint presentation that you then upload to YouTube to do them both a favor.

Or you could be as open-minded as they both are and understand that sexual expression and sexual identity are not the same thing. And that the closet narrative based on gay/not-gay pretty much minimizes actual sexual self-expression and creative arrangements.

Now  if you do find that the guy votes for conservative politicians who work to deny rights to gay anal fuckers while maintaining rights to straight anal fuckers, then definitely out him as a hypocrite.

In  the meantime, the only response you should really have, and judging by  your extreme interest in their sex life, is to ask to watch. But when he says he's straight, then hold onto your belief that he's a closeted gay man. Not at all that he just doesn't want you, the individual, to watch. 

Or if she was bringing it up because they want to play with you also, don't be surprised if it extends to you tucking away your cock, cross dressing and then putting on a strap on. Irony is the biggest turn on of all.

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