Ask GayDemon: Anxious Pants Dropper

I’m 21 years old and I’m gay. My cock has a red spot right on the end which has been there since I was born. It’s nothing medical, just a mark, but how do I convince guys it's not some kind of STI when we get down to business? I’m worried people will back away when they see it.

How dare you not have a picture perfect penis, worthy of Michelangelo. Sucking.

It can be a comforting distraction to pick up on a supposed physical flaw of yours rather than focus on personal challenges regarding connecting sexually and otherwise with guys. Because guys may back away when they see your personality. Your sense of humor that is incompatible with their own. Your career aspirations. Or your left big toe.

But you're backing away without trying so you'll never know. And you're thinking you need to convince someone of something. Rather that just state facts. Which are that you have a mark on your skin there, but that of course it doesn't make you invulnerable to an STI, some of which are not visible at all. So you regularly get tested, communicate well with sex partners, before you're naked (and during and after as needed), and pay attention to your own body.

Establishing an emotional connection with someone prior to a sexual connection would also make it smoother for you to share what for you is a physical variation you're very sensitive about. And someone who is caring will adapt and move forward with you. Because you don't need to be some perfect package of self love before dating or having sex. Though a modicum of self love sure helps the equation.

But if you're seeking to hook up on a purely physical basis, then share dick pics prior and skip any guy who skips you. But don't forget that is a way for guys to minimize who you are to that body part and judge devoid of your physical presence and energy. But that's up to you how to present yourself.

You could also make up a profile through which you don't intend to hook up with anyone but you want to see people's reactions and practice talking about it. It's a bigger deal to you than to most others assuredly because people spend about 90% or more of their time thinking just about themselves. Or so I've heard. When I was doing something with me that I was doing with me while thinking about me.

And if you do get rejected, then that tells you more about that person than it does about you. In fact, it tells you zero about you that you didn't know already, which is that you're seeking to have new experiences with people and they don't always work out exactly as you would imagine.

Of course that can also include a hook up turning into a husband. And a husband who also has some physical variation that isn't picture perfect. All told, this makes you you and him him.

If none of this strikes a chord, just get your cock tattooed, like with a picture of a supposed perfect cock. Ridiculous, huh? Yep.

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