Ask GayDemon: The Bottom Line

My butt really hurts after I used a huge toy on it while webcamming for a dominant guy. What could be wrong?
-Pain in the Ass

A whole hell of a lot is wrong. You better sit down to hear it. Or better yet, get on all fours as your butt is still so tender.

You haven't told me how to get in touch with the guy. He sounds fun and you're hogging him. That is so wrong.

Dominance only is cool and all, but being dominant comes with myriad responsibilities, to keep things safe, sane and consensual. That means your ass needs a toy that matches where you ass is at. And he should be encouraging you to pay attention to that. Sure, you can please him visually, but unlike the you that he sees, you're not two dimensional.

Would he have been an overzealous dom in person, too? Sure, that's totally possible. And can someone dominate someone online in the most awesomest, best, most mutually pleasurable way ever? Yep.

But the thing is, you know with the online stuff that he can click away in an instant. Maybe you feel pressure to perform, and that can be part of the fun, being pushed to satisfy him. And even with all that, you get to say NO or HELL NO or PAUSE at any time. If for him that means you've rejected him then his ego is totally out of control and you're better off without him.

You're not a failure if you say no. And neither is he. Though if he's not being seductive, getting you in the mood, even working in moments where he can guide you to test if you're actually ready for that size toy or not (starting smaller, asking you how it feels), then he kind of is a failure, isn't he?

Which is why the more open you can be about how your body feels the more he has to go on. And you can keep it sexy. Sure you can say ouch this fucking hurts. Or you can say, damn my ass is so tight. I need your help to work me open. Train my ass so I can eventually take a big toy.

Online sexual relationship are not a novelty. They are real things requiring communication and self-awareness. And your ass doesn't have a CGI budget. You're flesh and blood.

You may want to check with your doctor, too. They love asshole things.

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