Toby's Journal

I barely slept during the night, in that I was both anxious and nervous about what the results of my MRI would be.  It is the waiting part that sucks, and I probably jacked off two or three times during the night just to calm my nerves either thinking about Jake or watching clips of gay porn videos of athletic looking guys in jock straps getting it on with one another.

Once 5:30 am hit and my alarm went off, I got dressed and instead of my usual running shirt I put on the lacrosse jersey that Jake gave me and put on my lucky jock strap as well.  As I was leaving the house Ted sees me and asks me where I am going, and I tell him.  His response was “sure that’s a good idea Toby in your condition?”  I was in no mood for Ted’s bullshit today and sarcastically replied back “and what condition would that be Doctor Ted?  I haven’t been diagnosed with anything” as I slammed the door and went for a run.  Finally, I was out of the house for a few minutes of freedom before I am to be poked, prodded, and scanned in a few hours’ time.

Once I got home, my mom was outside of the door, smoking as usual and when I came up the stairs, she yells at me “where the fucking hell have you been Sean Tobias O’Malley!!  You shouldn’t be out running in your condition."   

I just casually walk by her and say “and what fucking condition is that mom? Or have both you and Ted suddenly become doctors overnight.  I’m going to shower, eat breakfast, and then be a human lab rat yet again.  

“My heart rate never went above 120 beats a minute, see” as I showed her my pulse rate on my smart watch and added “so maybe you should have yourself checked out by a shrink for having Munchausen by Proxy instead.” 

Kathleen got suddenly quiet at that point I muttered under my breath and said “maybe it’s your constant cigarette smoking I’m fucking allergic too." 

As I walked up the stairs to the bathroom, I could hear Kathleen screaming at me “what did you say Sean Tobias?”  I replied back “nothing mom, I’m just getting ready for the hospital.”

On the way to the hospital, the three of us rode in silence.  I dressed casually for the MRI because I’ll just have to get bare assed naked again and wear a paper gown over me so just out of spite, I wore my still sweaty “CROP-BOY” jersey that Jake gave me and lucky jock. 

My manly body odors stank up my mom’s car, but it was still no worse than her constant chain smoking, so we rode with the windows down.

Once at the hospital, I was checked in while Kathleen and Ted did all the paperwork for the insurance company and the hospital as I was led to the pre-exam room where I was instructed to strip down, remove any metal and wait.  I did in that I took of the chain that I have with a crucifix and a small pendant of Saint Sabastian, the Patron Saint of Athletes.  I still kept my lucky jock on though.

Once they were ready for me, I was escorted into the MRI room.  Once in there one of the attendants saw that I still had my jock on and said that I had to remove it as well.  I replied back “you quacks are here to take pictures of my heart, not my dick and balls, so it stays on.” 

She just replied back to me “well sir yes you can but you may be at risk of testicular cancer as well and as I see by your chart you are seventeen years old therefore unable to make medical decisions on you own unless you wish to trans . . “

I just said to the Filipina MRI attendant that I nicknamed ‘Nurse Ratchet’ that I’ll just go back in my changing room and take it off.  No need for Kathleen to make another scene.

As I laid in the MRI machine and was the exam, I was given a headset and instructed not to move.  As the big circular machine hummed and vibrated while it took images of my insides, my dick got hard, like really rock hard in that my dick was sticking straight up.

I hear a voice over my headset says to me, “no moving please, may disrupt the imaging.” 

I just say back “lady, I’m not moving at all but the thing between my legs has a mind of its own at times” and I hear her reply back “ohh” and adds in “it looks very fine and healthy to me.  We will be done shortly.”

Thirty minutes later my MRI was done, and I swear the technicians, both male and female spent more time examining my big hard dick and nuts than actually examining my heart.

Once the MRI was done, I was allowed to dress and as I did, I prayed to Saint Sabastian and Our Lord and Savior for a negative result, and then joined Ted and my mom in my pediatrician’s office.  Once in there the three of us just sat in silence and waited.  Ted attempt to be a good stepfather and said “I’m sure your fine Jake, you are a healthy young man.  This is to just put your mom at ease.”

Kathleen then spoke to me for the first time in hours (not that I missed her constant nagging voice) and attempts to be motherly by saying “I just want to be sure Toby that you are well and that’s all, so if you are cleared to play sports, then you may.”

I just say coldly to her face, for now but I’ll be eighteen soon mom therefore I can get a second opinion but let’s see what the quacks have to say.”

Her response was “Sean Tobias, we are not doing this here.  You are as stubborn as your father and look where it got him.  I don’t want to lose you like him.”

I just looked coldly in here eyes and said “I know mother because he dropped dead right in front of me when I was four fucking years old.  Had you forgotten?.

“I begged him to play ball with me and being the good dad Patrick was he caved in to his only child's request and eventually did but had to get a drink first. 

“You know this story because I told you and god knows how many kiddie shrinks so many times before, but it seems you forgot in that as he was taking a sip of his favorite Scotch from a flask he has around and about to light up yet another cigarette while trying to pass a plastic kiddie baseball to me, Patrick dropped down dead right in front of me. 

“I came into the house, and you were on the phone with Maw Maw Mary as usual, ignored me even when I told you that dad had fallen down and won’t get up, you blew me off.  

"I eventually had to ask our neighbors to help so they were the ones that called the paramedics.  No wonder why they shortly moved away.” 

“It’s a memory that is stuck in my head ever since I was four and will never fucking forget.  Have you?”

I stared long enough in Kathleen’s eyes long enough and I recounted the events of the day of my father’s passing I saw that my mom’s eyes teared up some before she says “I need to get a breath of fresh air (her code of saying needing a cigarette)” as she rose from here seat, my attending pediatric physician came into his office with and another man who I believe to be yet another quack and says “Jake we have the results of your MRI.  Took a bit of a second look because well your almost adult age but I brought in a specialist and a trusted colleague of mine to assess your condition.  This is Doctor Bernard Rosenberg.” . .