I Said Yes

The next several months were crazy. The emotional turmoil of a break-up…the emotional chaos of having elderly parents, both with significant health issues…and the emotional consequences of the restaurant suffering a catastrophic loss as a result of a natural disaster…When I take a step back now, it is a wonder that I hadn’t been admitted to a state hospital with a diagnosis of a severe psychiatric disorder…but I managed to hold things together and stay focused on the new issues and problems that needed my attention.

It had been over a year and a half since I had made the move back to California to be nearer to the folks. Just prior to the move, and the thing that really made the decision for me, was the fact that we had a catastrophic flood at the restaurant. It was the 3rd time, in 10 years, that we suffered from mother nature. This time around the ownership group, Colleen, and her daughter, decided that, in order to re-build, the operation would have to move to safer ground. After months of trying to locate another spot, Colleen finally called the search off. She was very gracious and kept me on payroll during that time but, it seemed the stars lined up against us, and it was not to be. The timing was such that, because of my parent’s issues and my “single status”, it seemed the right thing to do…make the move back closer to the folks and start over somewhere in California.

I had not seen, nor heard a word from Michael…only collateral information that was shared by Chris. I maintained contact with Corey and Rob…almost convincing both to come to work for me in California…but in the end, that didn’t happen. I had had several long telephone conversations with Diane who, in her own right, was being protective of Michael but still shared her care and concern for me. As each passing month went by, it became more and more clear that Michael and I were done…we both drew lines in the sand, and it seemed neither of us were going to relent. Depression and despair ruled most of the early days for me…I did have all that was going on with my parents to distract me. I actually moved into their house for a minute…reorganized their lives, facilitated some major medical issues for my dad, helped when my mom had to have a quadruple bypass done…did their chores and errands…set up in-home care for them…took care of their dogs and the house…not the existence I wanted but clearly the right things to do…I always felt as though it was something I owed them, I mean they did raise and support us kids…and, much as I despaired…it was a time for me to reconnect with them and help them out…I couldn’t really complain nor would I want to have…it was just something that needed to be done.

According to the guys and Diane, Michael had managed to meet his goal of becoming a father. A woman he had gone to school with…Kanae (whom I had mentioned before) and he started dating and, within a month or so, she informed him she was pregnant. The quickly got married and, from all accounts, had set up their happy little home life there in Walla Walla.

The months passed and, after things with my folks stabilized, I took a position with a small restaurant group as their operations manager, supervising three restaurants in the Sacramento area. Tasked with operational control of menus, cocktail menus, and wine lists, it was part of my job to be the wine buyer. The focus and emphasis were designed to expose the guests to a variety of wines from all over the different growing regions on the west coast. While we were, literally, 70 miles from Napa and Sonoma, the owners wanted each of the 3 locations to have a different “Wine Identity” and, based on my knowledge and background with wine menus, they challenged me with completing that task. Most readers will know where this is going…my connection to and friends in the Washington growing regions gave me an opportunity to play with the wine lists, be creative, and bring in products that no other restaurants in the area had…it also, obviously, gave me an excuse to make several “buying” trips and to connect with old friends at various trade and wine shows.

Because there had been no contact with or from Michael…a clear message that he had moved on, I chose to utilize Chris and Nolan as my primary go-to’s in the Seattle and Walla Walla areas. I arranged a quick, 3-day trip, to Seattle and made plans to meet up with those guys and with Corey and Rob. We would meet at Zig Zag he night of my arrival and then I would spend the next day talking serious wine business with Chris and Nolan. It just so happened that, on that second night, Chris and Michael were doing a wine dinner in downtown Seattle…Chris invited me…I declined…but we would still get together later that same evening…A plan that had me excited and, actually a bit nervous, as I really didn’t know what to expect.

I arrived at the Seattle airport mid-morning, rented a car, and took a trip down memory lane as I cruised into and through West Seattle. I drove by the waterfront, taking beach drive all the way past the beaches, the little restaurants and the water-taxi pier…I went up the hill to the neighborhood with my old house…talk about memories…from first moving to Seattle from Texas, the ending of my marriage, the relationship with Michael, the pups…and the end of things with Michael…that house sure had some stories…seriously, if those walls could talk…a tear ran down my cheek as I sat there staring at the place…it was vacant but it had been well cared for…Instead of selling, I chose to rent it out…on the off-chance I may move back someday…so I let a property management company handle it. They had done well for me…it just so happened to be vacant at the moment. Rather than getting out and taking a walk-through, I decided to go ahead and go…not sure what emotional damage would have taken place had I walked around and gone inside…so I moved on.

I cruised into the parking lot at the Admiral Pub…low and behold…my old buddy Steve was working…He was surprised when I walked through the door and in his very thick, and very Irish brogue I heard him scream from across the bar…

“Fer Fucks sake…aint ye a sight fer sore eyes Matthew” (Steve)

I had missed that guy…I missed his sarcasm and his bullshit…most of all, I missed his wisdom and our chats. I manage to stay a little longer than I would have liked…hard not to with that guy. We caught up…he imparted more wisdom on me and then the elephant in the room came busting out…

“What the fuck is happening…what’s up with the boy” (Steve)

“Well, the boy had, apparently, become a man and has a baby now…”

“What the hell…with who?” (Steve)

“I guess a woman he knew from high school…a local up there”

“Well, fer fuck sakes…he is a putz” (Steve)

“Ha-ha…yep…that’s what I’m thinking”

“Well, me guesses you are ok with it…” (Steve)

“I am now…it took a while…but I guess it is what it is”

“Right” (Steve)

We talked a lot more about the situation…about Michael and the choice he made. Steve asked about things in California, how my folks were doing and how I liked my work. He was a smart-ass, as always, but he was a true friend who always let me know he gave a shit…I truly did miss seeing him and hanging out. His life was good…constant and he was still working lots of days and long hours, but he said business was good and he had no complaints…I was happy things were good for him.

I decided to get out of there and go check in at the hotel. I told Steve I would pop back in before I left town…I let him know the gang would be at the Zag later and that I might be able to convince them to stop by the pub later…”Is he going to be there?”

“God, no. He and Chris are doing a Wine Dinner tonight, but he won’t be joining us after…I don’t have any plans to see him” …