My life is a mess

Hey, my name is Kevin. I'm 16 yrs old, dirty blonde hair, dark green eyes, and i'm a 100% gay. I came out to my parents a while after I had found myself. I told them that I had this feeling and that i'm gay. My mother was proud of me for coming to them and telling them. My father said although he didn't agree that because I was his son he would love me unconditionally. He was a church goer and I didn't hold it against him. I thought they would freak on me and take me to counseling and kick me out so I was happy. Until the beatings started at home, the economy had taken a great hit and my father was let go of his job as a business man. Being stuck home and no one willing to hire him he got into a deep depression and started drinking heavily. After that he tried gamboling hoping he can make some money. One night he came home from a poker game with his buddies and so drunk he couldn't walk in a straight line, and started yelling at me and my mother. My mother more calling her a bitch and a slut. He blamed her for his mistakes and said that she had turned me into a faggot.

'You were too easy on him and look at him now, he's a homo prancing fag' he said slurred

'leave him alone, Kevin go to your room please' my mom said

I got up and ran to my room. I left the door cracked upon so I can hear the conversation.

'its your fault, its all your fault' he yelled at her

'Jim please calm down, come on ill take you upstairs'

'leave me alone you dumb slut. I know you're whoring around with my best friend'

'Jim what are you talking about, no I swear I only love you'

'don't lie to me, I seen the way you look at him'

'hunny come now, let me help you'

'don't touch me I said!' the next thing I heard was a loud smack and my mother yelp out in pain. She started sobbing quietly. 'Shut the fuck up you whore or ill make you cry for real'

I heard my mother stop crying. And I heard my father laugh. How could this be? I didn't think he was the type to hit us. And even though he was drinking it had never gotten to this point. I heard some footsteps that weren't quite normal. It was him trying to get up the stairs. I ran to my bed and pulled the covers over my head. So many thoughts were going through my head. What should I do call the cops? Should I tell someone? I heard him finally get up the stairs and head for his room. Then a loud thump when he got on the bed. 10 minutes passed and I heard his faint snoring. I got up and went downstairs to where my mother was still sitting on the floor her staring off into space with a blank look on her face. I went over to her and touched her shoulder. She flinched hard.

'Mom'

'oh uh hunny, why are you up. Come on its late you should get to bed'

her face was a bright red from where he had hit her and was already starting to bruise. 'Mom I heard what happened comes on sit up on the couch. Let me get something for you'

I went to the kitchen and got an ice pack and some water for her. When I got back into the room she started tearing up again and then so did I.

'mom come on her drink this and put this on your eye' she took the water and sipped it and set it down. I took the ice pack and put it over the mark. She winced in pain. 'Mom what are we going to do, ill do whatever you want. You want me to go pack a bag full of clothes and leave? You want me to call the cops?'

'No, no. it was an accident he's drunk. Just leave it alone'

'mom look at your face, how are you suppose to explain this? You walked into a door? That's the lamest excuse mom come on, if you want ill go to a shelter with you'

'no hunny it was my fault, please don't say anything to anyone. I love your father and he slipped up. Come on go to bed ill be up in a minute'

I looked at her and a tear dripped down my face. She told me again to go to sleep that everything will be fine tomorrow. So I went upstairs and went to my room and lay in bed. I couldn't fall asleep I just stared at the ceiling and my head was full of thoughts. I heard my mother finally come up the stairs and enter her room. I heard of the sound of the bed creak under her as she lay down. And then it went silent. All I could her was the faint snoring. I drifted to sleep and woke up around breakfast time. Things were different. Morning at the breakfast table weren't too eerie. It was odd how no one talked about what happened. Did they already talk earlier this morning? I stared at my mom as I could see the bruise, and my dad reading the paper as if nothing had happened.

'Good morning fag'

I looked at him with wide eyes. This was a side of him I never seen. Why was he being so cruel towards me? He surely wasn't drunk anymore. I looked at my mom and she just had her eyes closed trying to pretend she didn't hear me. I sat down and said nothing.

'I said good morning, don't you know how to respond. Are you stupid or something now?'

'Um err, good morning' I was afraid. More for my mother cause she gave me a pleading look to do what he said. She put the food in front of me and coffee in front of him. He took a sip and spit it out onto the floor.

'what the fuck it this?'

'Jim hunny its you're coffee'

'its tastes like shit'

'its like ive always made it for you'

'no its not, he got up and threw the come to the ground'

I just looked at my mother that was staring at the ground not saying anything. He walked out of the kitchen to the front door. 'I'm going out to get some real coffee'

she got a rag and started cleaning it up. I didn't say anything. I just moved the eggs on my plate around with the fork. I got up and tried helping.

'Leave it alone I have it' she said to me.

'Mom I can help'

'no it's fine, I got it'

this same routine of him coming home drunk and beating my mother rapidly went on for a couple months. She constantly told neighbors and friends that she has just been clumsy and was getting hurt a lot. After me father heard one of the neighbors ask her directly if anything was going on at him he stopped beating her on visible parts of her body. They're bruises on her stomach and back that I saw one day. It upset me so much. Our home had become a place I dreaded coming to for so long now. He one time even took out his anger on me but that my mother didn't allow she stood in-between me and him and took ever blow he lashed out on her. I was crying and screaming trying to get my mother out of the way so she wouldn't take the hits for me. I asked her, I pleaded, and I begged for us to leave but no luck. She said that she should have learned to be a better wife.

'I'm so sorry Kevin; it's not your fault. Don't listen to what he says. I love you so much'

it scared me how she was talking. It sounded like she had given up and was now just living day by day trying to get though it.

'Mom please I love you so much, I hate seeing you like this.' I pointed out her bruises and when I went to hug her to try and comfort her she winced and pushed me away gently. The bruises where green and yellow from healing, her eyes were dead; she looked into mines and told me she loved me and no matter what nothing could change that.

'All I want you to know is whatever happens this isn't your fault and I love you, please forgive me'

'you haven't done anything to me'

she kept silent and looked away.

'Hey how about you go over to Danny's house today'

Danny was my best friend, has been for a long time. I never told him or anyone about what was happening at home. It was my mothers wish.

'Sure, but why?'

'Just you haven't been out of the house lately, come on you should be out more'

I was too afraid for her to leave and go out, I had turned down birthday parties and going outs because although he took out his anger on her it was less when I was there. And I always helped her after. I spent most of my younger years in my room waiting for the hitting to stop waiting for him to leave having the fear that the next time this happened id find my mother dead.

I called Danny and he said sure it was fine if I came over. My mother hurried me out house. I thought it was because she was afraid of my dad showing up and her not having dinner ready.

I got to Danny's house and he invited me in.

'hey bud, long time no see'

'yeah sorry, been busy with some stuff'

I felt like I should tell somebody but again my mother had said not to say anything.

'Mami is cooking dinner' Danny told me

'oh sounds great' I tried to always put on an act though Danny could see through it. He never mentioned it but I saw the looks he gave me when he knew I was lying.

'Mhm' was all he said.

Let me tell you a little about Danny. He's a 6 foot 3, jet black hair, olive complexion, Hispanic. He's been my best friend since I was 14, ever since I came out of the closet. When some school bullies were picking on me for me liking dick he stood up to them for me. When they had knocked my books on to the ground, he punched them in the stomach and made them pick it up. When they left me with a bloody nose, he left them all with black eyes. Sure he got in trouble a lot but he said no one would hurt his bestfriend. That's around the time I started liking him. He was my hero, my best friend, and the longest crush I had on any guy. I didn't want to mess up our relationship so I never, ever made a move on him.

We walked into the kitchen, his mom was there cooking.

'Hey hunny' she said with a bright smile. She came over to me and hugged me tight. This wasn't out of the ordinary.

'Hey Ms. Gonzales' I said smiling back.

'Dinner will be ready in a couple minutes, how about you to wash up. Danny set the table'

Danny started setting up the table and I headed for the bathroom. When I walked back out of the bathroom I took in the smell of the food. The food smelled delicious. I and Danny ate quickly and he hurried me to his room.

'Want to watch a movie or play Xbox or something'

video games bored me. 'How about a movie'

Danny chose one that he liked, I didn't pay much attention. At first I was worried about my mother and how things were going at the house. Was dad home already? Is mom okay? Is she hurt? How bad is it this time? Then my mind started drifting off staring at Danny. This went on for awhile. He was so hot I could keep my eyes off him. Even there just sitting staring at the screen he turned me on, and me with an over active imagination got carried away and started rubbing my crotch. A loud boom woke me out of it. It startled me so much I jumped up and grabbed onto Danny.

He had gotten startled as well and we ended up grabbing each other. We looked each other right in the eyes and I quickly jumped off him, and put a little distance in between us.

'Err uh sorry bout that' I said stammering to get the words out.

'Um yeah no problem'

I looked over at the digital clock he had on his bed side table and it was almost 10 and we had totally lost track of time. It was a Monday so I knew dad would be home early if he wasn't already.

'oh shit, I got to go its getting pretty late'

'want me to walk you?'

'uh sure' this wasn't out of the norm but after that little moment had just passed my stomach was still in knots.

He started undressing. 'Uh what are you doing?' I said with a little alarm in my voice.

'its chilly out so i'm putting on long jeans and a hoodie, calm down dude I promise i'm not trying to seduce you' then he started joking around and pretended he dropped his pants by accident and slowly bent over putting on a little show for me trying to pick his pants back up. I turned a bright red and looked away. I could feel my member waking up which wasn't good since I was wearing tight jeans and it would obviously show.

'Uh oh someone's got a boner'

my jaw dropped to the ground. I was so embarrassed. I looked over at him and he was looking at my mid section which didn't help the situation and mad it even bigger. I put my hands over it and looked down at the ground. I shouldn't have been looking, he's my best friend.

'I'm sorry, i'm sorry I didn't mean it.... I ... its just.... sorry'

'whets wrong with you calm down, your a guy, guys get boners big whoop'

'you're not mad?'

'No it's my fault' he winked at me.

I giggled a little and uncovered myself. 'Looks pretty big'

again I couldn't believe what he was saying, he straight for Christ sakes. 'What?' was all I could manage to choke out?

'nothing is just that it looks pretty big, how big it is'

'um 8 1/2....'

'i'm only 8'

I started imagining his dick which made me even get harder, I was going to walk home pretty awkward if he didn't shut up.

'Let's stop talking about dicks, hmm?'

'Sure' he said laughing a little.

I said bye to his mom, and thanked her for dinner. And we left. I didn't live too far from him. It was actually just a couple blocks away.

'So how are things in life man? feels like we haven't talked in ages'

'oh yeah well things are good, you know just busy with some stuff'

'humph well what kind of stuff'

'just stuff, what up with you?'

'Um me, well things are going good, wrestling tryouts are starting in a week and I'm planning ongoing. Want to come with me?'

'ha, no. me in a room with guys in tights rubbing on each other would cause too much attention and id probably get beaten up when they knew a gay guy was on the team'

'they wouldn't dare' he said narrowing his eyes. 'Hey id probably get my ass handed to me but id kick anyone's but for you'

I was blushing, thank god it was dark out and he couldn't see me. We turned on the corner leading to the block where my house should be and we saw cops and ambulance there. My eyes grew wide. What the hell happened? My mind went instantly to my mother. Oh my god, please no.

I started running, I don't know if Danny was behind me or not but I ran like hell to get there. I saw a stretcher with a black body bag. Tears were streaming down my face and I was screaming 'mom' over and over.

A cop caught me and was holding me back. 'son you can't come in here, this is a crime scene'

'get off this is my house, that's my...' I pushed past him, I got up to the stretcher and pulled the zipper, I wanted to see what the son of a bitch did to her. But when I opened it, it wasn't her. It was him............

(To be continued, i dont know how many parts im going to make yet)