The City of Rossford

"There’s this porno Paul showed me,” they could hear Fenn talking to Lee and Logan in the background while they sat in Logan’s apartment.

“And you probably weren’t in it, but I admit it always made me steamy. Anyway, it’s these Europeans. All fit and shit. But I think they’re in New Zealand, and I’ll tell you why later. Anyway, they’re in the woods and they go, each of them, to a place labeled rest room, but it’s really just a wall and there’s a bench and there’s this one fellow, good looking. Fit too. We don’t really know why he’s there, maybe he’s set up camp. But… he is just sitting there. The first guy gets there, unbuckles his jeans. He has the most beautiful dick in the world. I mean big, but not too big. You know what they say, if it’s more than a mouthful it’s a waste. Well, anyway, he just starts blowing this motherfucker…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Brendan said to Sheridan.

Sheridan didn’t look at him.

“We used to be close. I said I would always look out for you. For you and Chay. I said I didn’t want either one of you to go through what I went through. And now… you’ve gone through more than I ever went through.”

“I fucked up.”

“Yes,” Brendan said, exasperated. “You did. You fucked up. You… for some reason were so embarrassed to be what you are. Which doesn’t make any sense. Are you ashamed of Fenn? Or Todd? Or Noah?”

“No,” Sheridan grimaced.

“Or me? Apparently you’re ashamed of me, and have no respect for me.”

Sheridan turned on Brendan.

“When did this become about you?”

Before he knew what he was doing, Brendan slapped Sheridan across his face.

“And so by now the fifth of these dudes has come in and they all have the most beautiful dicks in the world, and then they all ride off on their bikes, through the forest and this last one shows up. He has this sarong on, which is why I thought it was New Zealand. But maybe it was just a towel. I don’t know. Anyway, he takes it off and he has an equally hard and beautiful dick which this fellah blows too. And then he bends over, the dicksucking fellow, and gets fucked within an inch of his life. And then he takes a load in the mouth again. And that’s how it ends…”

Brendan stared at him, hard.

“I knew what you were the day I looked at you. You used to trust me. You were supposed to come to me you little shit. And now here you are… fucking a prostitute. You ruined Chay’s life, screwed every trashy slut in this county. Oh, and let’s see, killed someone.”

Sheridan flinched.

“Killed someone,” Brendan repeated. “All because somewhere along the line you decided to not trust me. And Kenny. And I want to know what happened?”

“And I was thinking,” Fenn said. “Now, when I was twenty, I don’t know how I would have handled a video like that. But close to fifty, I think I wouldn’t mind being all of those people, and there’s a part of me that would like to go off to New Zealand or whatever and turn tricks for healthy young twenty somethings. Mind you, I couldn’t do it everyday.”

“Save it for Mondays?”

“Yeah. And holidays. But, at least in my fantasy world, I’d like to be nasty like that.”

“I’m sorry, Brendan,”

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to explain this to me.”

“I can’t talk about it. Not with you.”

“Why?”

“I can’t explain.”

“Fine,” Brendan said, tired. “Fuck it.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, cause you won’t fucking tell me.”

“Do you hate me?” Sheridan said, after a bit.

“No, I don’t hate you. I don’t hate you,” Brendan said, his face almost ugly with upset. “I love you. You know that. But… I’m pissed with you.”

“I think,” Lee said, “I would turn some tricks like that now. And I think, if I remember you between Todd and Tom, there was some fun in your life too. Oh,” Lee’s voice changed. “We’re done.”

He came striding in to Brendan and Sheridan.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Lee said. Logan was beside him.

“The two of you are going to report the attack,” and then Lee said, looking at Logan, “the rape.”

“Nothing should be covered up,” Fenn said.

The two cousins, who had been gabbling on about porn while working on the clean up of a dead body were all business now.

Sheridan opened his mouth.

“You tell them everything,” Fenn said to Sheridan. “Tell them how you hit him. Tell them how you put him out.”

“But—”

“And then you tell them he was gone. You don’t know what happened to him.”

“A missing persons?” Brendan said.

“Yes,” Lee answered.

“A missing person they will never find,” Fenn said.

Logan began, “What are you going to—?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Lee said.

“He’s done this before,” Fenn explained.

“Well, what do we do now?”

“Go to Casey’s,” Sheridan said. “We go there and ask him if he was out of his fucking mind when he sent that guy to you.”

“You do that,” Lee said, “and then you take this,” he handed them the wallet.

“It’s that man’s wallet. There’s money in this bitch. Now, we gotta go. We gotta a baby’s mama to take care of.”

“I’ll take care of her tomorrow,” Fenn said, grimacing. “I have dinner to put on the stove.”

“Can’t Todd do it?”

“If I cared about equality in marriage, yes. But I care about being able to eat a good meal. So no.”

They headed for the door and Brendan was the last leaving when he turned around and came back into the apartment, looking at Logan.

“I don’t know what to say to you. Just…” he turned to Sheridan, “he’s younger than he thinks he is.”

“I know,” Logan said.

Brendan nodded.

“Bren?” Sheridan began.

“Yeah,” Brendan said, irritably.

“Thanks.” Sheridan answered. It seemed totally inadequate. Brendan looked at him weirdly, and then said, “Yeah,” and turned to leave, closing the door behind him.

The rapping on the door was quick and insistent and Casey, who was sitting in the kitchen eating eggs across from Chay complained, “They know it’s Sunday. Right?”

“I’ll get it,” Chay rose.

He slid out of the chair and went out of the large old farm kitchen, down the long hall to what was the lobby of Casey’s studio. Behind him he could feel the empty staircase stretching up to the rooms where they filmed the movies. All around the house, but especially in the converted attic, were places where folks coming in and out of town stayed, though often as not they were staying in Port Ridge or crashing at Paul Anderson’s place.

Chay opened the door.

“Uncle Ron—?”

Ron Lewis had no time for pleasantries, he took the back of his hand across Chay’s face and then, while the boy’s head spun and he stood there dazed, Ron entered the house, walking around, bellowing: “Is this it? Hello! Hello!”

The house wasn’t completely empty, but it sounded as if it was, and Chay’s face hurt as he closed the door.

Casey was coming down the hall now, in jeans and a tee shirt, and Ron stopped to look at him.

“You’re him,” Ron said. “You look a little different in person, but you’re still that nasty piece of work I’ve seen on camera.”

“Uh, sir,” Casey said, looking uncertain, “I don’t know who you are, but I have the police on speed dial.”

“You want the police on speed dial?” Ron Lewis said. “Well, go right on ahead. We can share a paddy wagon, child molester.”

“This is my uncle,” Chay explained.

Casey looked from Chay to Ron. There wasn’t much need to explain to him that this was James’s brother.

“I’m not going to watch my only family collapse from afar,” Ron said. “I know what’s going on, and I’m here to set this shit to rights.”

“You’re Ron, right?” Casey began.

But Ron ignored him and turned to Chay.

“What idiocy has gotten into you? What lack of morals? It’s partially your father’s fault, I’m sure. You couldn’t help but be that way and be Noah’s son.”

“I don’t know what you’ve heard,” Casey was saying, his voice a little unstable, “but no one is hurting your nephew.”

“Casey, can I ask you a question?”

Chay looked past his uncle and saw that Casey was doing a very good job of not pissing himself. In the last few minutes, from home invasion to arrest, all of Casey’s fears had been touched.

“Sure,” Casey said.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Do you know how old Chay is?”

“He’s almost sixteen.”

“Well, yes. But to be almost sixteen one has to be less than sixteen. Right? Right. Well, that makes you a rapist.”

“In the state of Indiana rape is defined as vaginal penetration by a penis to the point of orgasm—” Chay began. But at the look on his uncle’s face, he shut up.

They were all silent, and then Casey said: “Sir, can I speak?”

“I think you’d better.”

Casey nodded. He seemed to Chay very small, his head hunched into his square shoulders, very much like the Casey he was in love and the Casey he slept with.

“In the outside world things are so black and white. People, straight people, good Christian straight people, live in this little bitty box. They think they know what’s what. They think there is this straight line between good and bad. They don’t understand anything. Well, they know what they know. But that isn’t much.

“We don’t live in that world,” Casey said. “I’ve spent… since Chay came to work here, all of my time looking after him, keeping him safe. One of my employees, Logan, told me how Chay planned to go into the business. Be an escort—”

Ron turned and looked at Chay.

“Just listen,” Chay said. “Please.”

“He told me how Chay was going to get with anyone just so he could figure out what sex was like.”

“Because he was here,” Ron said. “Because he was with Noah. Because he’s been around sex all his life and it was on his brain.”

“Yes, you’re probably right,” Casey allowed. “But… wherever he is, sex is all around. He didn’t get curious because of me or Noah or anyone. He got curious because he has the same computer and the same Internet as anyone and Chay was ready to do that stuff. And I know what that’s like. Especially when you’ve got a boy who likes other boys. Believe me, between fooling around with some losers, or getting beaten and raped by someone taking advantage, or…trying to turn a trick or two for curiosity’s sake, sleeping with me was the best option. It really was. And I didn’t want to do it.”

“But you made the sacrifice,” Ron said in an unreadable tone.

“I am not trying to make myself a martyr,” Casey said.

“Good.”

“But it was supposed to be a one time thing. And it wasn’t a one time thing. It is a current thing. I am currently having a sexual relationship with your nephew, and it’s illegal and you could send me to jail or make life very difficult. I know that.”

Casey jammed his hands in his pockets.

“Now, I see,” Ron said, more to himself than anyone else.

Chay looked at him.

What Ron saw, he didn’t say.

“Chay,” his uncle murmured after awhile.

Chay nodded.

“Why are you with him?”

Chay murmured, “I’m in love with him.”

Ron looked at Casey.

Casey said, “I love him too. I do.”

“You still have sex with other people on camera and take off your clothes on a website?”

“Love is a lot more than sex,” Casey said. “And I’m always safe with Chay.”

“I…” Ron shook his head, “Do not understand this.”

“I don’t either,” Casey said, quickly. “But I gave up understanding stuff a long time ago. If it makes you feel better, I don’t take it for granted. I wonder about what the two of us are doing. I have doubts all the time. I try to be so careful with this guy,” he thought about touching Chay, but then thought against it. “You have to believe that. I wouldn’t hurt him.”

“Not knowingly,” Ron said.

“He’s never hurt me,” Chay said.

And it was then that the front door opened and they turned to see Sheridan Klasko and Logan Banford entering the room.

Sheridan walked up to Casey and punched him in the gut.

“Sheridan!” Chay shouted, while Casey stood doubled over.

“Casey,” Sheridan swore, “you are one son of a bitch!”