The City of Rossford

It’s sunday afternoon at the house and…

“Who the fuck cares?” Casey deleted that.

“It’s….”

But he knew what to write. He had to write the truth. In the end that’s all the readers really cared about, strange as that sounded. So he sat down and typed:

Scared

Guys, I’m scared.

It’s your little Casey here, and you know I’ve done some wild shit in the past. Hell, I do wild shit everyday, and you get online and watch it. But when it comes to love: that’s the real wild shit. I’ve had all sorts of relationships. With coked out pornstars, with drug dealers I knew were drug dealers though I tried to ignore the truth. Two serious relationships that still make me sad when I think about the way they ended, one of those with a guy in the clergy. But you know all about that.

Well, anyway, all I can write here—

There was a knock at the door. No one else was at the house today to answer it.

“Here I come,” Casey shouted. He turned back to the laptop and typed:

“All I can write here is that this is the strangest, most forbidden thing I’ve ever been in, and I hope to God no one gets hurt.”

He hit the enter key. He felt a little better writing that. It was almost like saying it outloud. He got up and went down the hall to open the door. And then he blinked in amazement.

He stood there and whispered: “Keith?”

“So… you’re here now?”

“Yes,” Keith said.

“For good?”

“That’s the rumor.”

“Uh… sit down,” Casey gestured to a chair in the room.

“No one’s here, today,” he continued.

“I wish you’d told me you were coming. I would have cleaned up a little. Done something to the place.”

“The house looks fine,” Keith said, not sitting down, but walking around the large living room. “You look fine. You look great, infact.”

Casey took off his glasses and blinked.

“I don’t think everyone would agree with you.”

“Does everyone matter?”

“No,” Casey said. “At least… not right here. I was just…” Casey moved out of the room and Keith followed him to the little solarium where white grey sunlight poured in. Casey bent over the computer. “I was just finishing up work. Let me shut this down.”

“Should I see what the great Casey Williams is up to?”

“No,” Casey said, with a laugh as he shut off the computer. “It’s not really clerical.”

Keith laughed now, and he said, “As I’m sure you remember, Case… I’ve known you in far more than a clerical capacity. Uh, I’ve known myself in more than a clerical capacity. Step aside, let’s see what you’ve done with the page.”

Casey moved over, and Keith sat down.

“Well,” he said. “See, that’s the thing. You made a business out of it.”

Casey rubbed his unshaven chin, not knowing if this was a judgment, and because Keith understood his old lover’s movements, he said, “What I mean is, you took something most people did in a half hearted way, or in an embarrassed way, and you made a business out of it. I knew that the face I wanted the world to see was the face of a priest. When Bick Throbbing caught up to me, I actually threated to kill someone. The face the world sees is Casey Williams, pornstar. You’re not ashamed of it. It’s who you are.”

“Is that why we didn’t work out?”

Keith said, “That’s not why.”

“No,” Casey realized.

Then he said, “The face the world sees is this one, you know.”

Keith turned around and looked at him.

“It’s on the page sometimes, but I’m pretty sure if people saw this guy in jeans and a hoodie with black rimmed specs walk into a store, they wouldn’t say, That’s Casey Williams! They wouldn’t even say, he’s hot.”

“I think you sell yourself too short.”

“I think I’m just being honest,” Casey said. “I’ve been being honest since I started out in this business. At least being honest with myself.”

Keith nodded. Casey sat down beside him. Because Keith didn’t seem to want to get off of his page anytime soon, Casey was preparing to log off himself.

“I’m Scared…” Keith read.

Now Casey did shut it off.

“I was reading that.”

“And I was stopping you,” Casey said.

“What are you scared of?”

“Life. Taxes.”

“You said you had a new love?” Keith raised an eyebrow, smiling.

“As lovely as talking about me is, let’s switch stuff to you.”

“Uhh… Alright.”

“You came back to Rossford?”

“Right?”

“Did you come back for me, or not?”

Keith took a while to answer. He was very cautious and then he said, “You were a great part of why I came back.”

Casey frowned.

“Isn’t that enough?” Keith said.

“It ought to be,” Casey acknowledged. “But I guess I was hoping for more.”

“You’re getting picky in your old age,” Keith told him.

“Well, yes, I guess I am.”

Casey sat next to Keith, and he thought. Well, the fact was they both had done porn. That was the way he had related to Keith in the past. In a way, they were both the same. Now Casey had to acknowledge Keith was now a priest, and Casey was a pornstar no matter what had happened in the past. There was something very…. Priestly about Keith. Casey didn’t know how else to describe it. He had thought that Keith would show up, and Keith would be the one love. They would be so close. Now Casey wondered if they ever had been. He didn’t feel close to him right now at all.

“Are you going to tell me about this dangerous new love of yours?” Keith jested.

Seriously, Casey said: “No, I’m not.”

Chay said, “I’ll get it,” when there was a knock at the door.

In his family’s kitchen, Sheridan shrugged.

“Layla!” Chay opened the door.

“Hey,” she said, walking into the kitchen.

“Sheridan, is your brother at home?”

“I thought you were finished with him.”

Layla shrugged.

“I thought I was too.”

“He’s out with Bren and Kenny,” Sheridan told her.

“And where are Bren and Kenny?”

By the tone in her voice, Sheridan Klasko knew he’d have to pick up the phone and call Will.

“Yeah?” Will said a few moments later.

“Will, where are you?”

“Why?”

“Where are you?” Sheridan repeated.

“At Brendan’s.”

Sheridan put the phone to his chest and said, “At your uncle’s. At Bren’s place, downstairs.”

“Well, I’ll be goddamned,” she said. “Thank you, Sheridan. See, you Chay.”

She bowed and headed out the door where, Chay noted, Dena was sitting in her car, waiting for Layla to get in.

Sheridan murmured, “See you Will,” and hung up

“Did you tell him Layla was on her way?”

“Nope.”

“I’d love to be there to see what happens.”

Sheridan gave a little smile and said, “So would I, actually. I hope no one gets hit though.”

He was quiet a little longer, and then he said, “There is some place I have to be.”

Chay looked at him.

“I’ll drop you off at home,” Sheridan said. “I gotta run some errands.”

This was vague, but Chay had the sense, by now, to not ask for specifics. He simply nodded, and got up, reaching for his coat.

“Who could that be?” Kenny wondered at the heavy thump on the door.

“It could be absolutely anyone,” Brendan pointed out. “It could be Jesus, which I guess makes Christmas sort of unnecessary this year.”

As he opened the door, he said, “But it’s Layla and Dena.”

Layla touched Bren on his cheek, and then walked ahead of him, down the steps and entered the apartment.

“Hello, Kenneth. Where’s Will.”

From the kitchen Will’s voice cried, “Is someone looking for me?”

He came out, wiping his hands on his pants.

“Layla?”

“We need to talk,” she said, simply.

“I agree. Would you like a sandwich?”

“We’ve got ham and chicken salad—” Brendan began.

“No,” Layla said.

“Uh… Well,” Will looked around the room. “You wanna take a drive or…”

“Yes,” Layla said. “Let’s go.”

“Well, then we’re off.”

Will went for his coat and he said, “Guys, we’ll be back later. We’re… gonna talk things out.”

“Good,” Kenny said. “Good, you should.”

“Talking always makes things better,” Brendan threw in.

Layla noted, “Sometimes so does knowing when to shut up.”

Brendan clapped his mouth shut. Layla nodded. Will put on his coat and then they went up the steps to leave the apartment.

When the door had shut, Brendan looked at Dena and said, “Is it just me… or did Will look a little terrified?”

“He looked a lot terrified,” Dena reflected. “And that’s a good thing.”

“Well,” Kenny noted. “It’s a realistic thing.”