Terry didn't start another scene. We sat quietly. Cradling him was comforting and felt so right. He was my boyfriend and regardless of his past I loved him. Damn. I actually loved him. I wasn't just saying it I was really feeling it. I was in love.
He finished his drink. "My turn to freshen." I handed him my glass and shortly he returned.
"Feeling better Sweetie?" I said as he sat down.
"Did you just call me sweetie?" He sat straight up and looked at me.
Feeling dumb I looked at him. "Ah. Did I? Yeah, I guess I did."
"Are you really...you are aren't you?"
"Really what?" Could I play this off? Change the subject?
"Do you really love me?"
I looked at him. "I am sitting in the only place I want to sit looking at a man who has bared his soul to me and all I want is for him to be mine."
"You didn't answer my question." He smirked.
"Yes, smart ass. I love you." I smirked in return.
"Not so smart, but rock solid, yes."
"I won't argue." I smiled. He leaned in and we kissed. He tasted like a salty rum and coke.
"Are you staying?" He looked at me and then away.
"Look back at me. I am if you let me."
"Even with video of me being fucked all over the internet forever?"
Suddenly my heart felt a little heavier. Guilt crept in. "Terry. I have a little confession."
"Are you joking? No, I am not straight. Shit Terry."
"I...um...this is just plain awkward. The porn thing...well..." I could not think of a way to tell him.
"Come on Sam. Spit it out. Pretend it's a john's cum. Just out with it."
"I...did something recently and well..."
"Spit it out Sam."
"I filmed a porno."
"What? A porno? You filmed a porno?"
"Well, not exactly. I didn't film it. I was filmed in one."
"No shit? Sam. Is that supposed to make me feel better? A lousy sex tape?"
"It isn't a sex tape. It's a regular porno. Me having sex with men."
"Men? As in plural?"
"Yep." I felt like a fool. He tells me about his terrible experience being forced to have sex with gross guys and I tell him I made a legit porno.
"Is this a joke? Really Sam. I already know."
"What? How could you?" How the hell did he find out, I only told Jude a day ago!
"I have seen it Sam. And it isn't just one."
"What the hell are you talking about Terry? How could you have seen it, we just finished on Saturday. It hasn't been edited yet. I haven't even seen a single frame."
"Wait a second. Are you saying you went into a studio and they filmed a real porno, one that needs editing?"
"Yes. It was a studio. There was a director, script, fuck they even had it storyboarded!"
"No way. Seriously? You aren't talking about the videos on Xtube?"
"What are you talking about Terry? Shit I am confused."
"You are confusing me Sam."
"Xtube?" I look at him hoping he has a couple simple words that can clear things up.
"Yes. X tube. There are several videos of you, getting fucked, getting tied up, sucking cock. On Xtube."
"No fucking way." How the hell are there videos of me on Xtube?
Terry clicks away on his laptop and logs into Xtube. In his favorites are dozens of different scenes. "The ones with Josh in the name are of you." He hits one labeled 'Josh takes a load.'
It spins for a moment. I take a drink. Then it begins. No intro just immediately a shot of me sucking a cock.
"How the fuck?" I exclaim.
"Don't you remember this Sam?"
"Remember? What? Sucking some random cock? No I don't remember. I didn't upload this. I didn't film it. I don't know where it came from!"
"Try this one." He selects a different 'Josh' scene and there I am getting fucked doggy style.
"Shit. Yes I do. That fuck. How could he?"
"Are you surprised Sam. You are hot and it really is a hot scene. Check out the rating, four stars! And the comments. Check them out. People love it. You have a bit of a following on here."
Staring at the screen I try to figure out how it ended up on line. "How many?"
"At least a dozen. Several are from your weekend with Ed. Want to watch Stash face fuck you?"
"Are you trying to be funny? Seriously Terry, this isn't funny."
"And my porn past, shit an entire site devoted to it not to mention all the scenes copied and posted all over Xtube, redtube, gay tube this or gay site that. Tumblr, blogs, I am all over the net Sam."
"Sorry. I wasn't being fair. Really? Pictures of you are all over?"
"Not just pictures Sam. Video. Me, begging to be fucked hard by big black cock or old men. Acting like I love every second of it."
I shake my head at the thought of my sweetie being seen all over the world getting used.
"Don't shake your head at me Sam. You have pictures and video all over the net too. Basically we are a couple of armature porn stars."
"Yeah. Tumblr. You ever checked it out?"
"Haven't heard of it."
"Are you in for a surprise." Terry looks like he is actually enjoying himself as he clicks away and brings up a site. Scrolling through I clicks an image and there I am naked and hard. "See. You even have a link." He clicks on the word 'Josh' and after a few moments a string of images of me, all naked, sometimes with a guy, sometimes with just a cock fill the screen.
"How long have you known about this?" I am still trying to wrap the thought that I am all over the Internet.
"About a month."
"Seriously? And you never said anything?"
"Because you didn't. I wasn't sure you wanted me to know."
"What? But I didn't know!"
"Now you do. Wait, you really didn't know? You check out gay blogs and never once saw a picture of yourself?"
"What lame blogs do you follow?" He laughed. It was so good to hear him laugh.
He continues to scroll through the site. Clicking on pictures of me and of him. Sitting and looking at pictures of your self on line is surreal. Being naked and engaging in sex in those pictures adds to the astonishment. I guess there was no reason to fear anyone finding out. The question was how hadn't seen them?
"So Sam. My porn star. Tell me about this movie." Terry sat back and rubbed his knee against my leg.
Unlike the terrible experience he had with his porn shoots, mine was a trip through the park. He was genuinely interested and very supportive. The fact I was paid for it, had taxes withheld and it was a legit studio added to it.
As we talked we relaxed and soon we were kissing and before long he was begging to see my new briefs and the cock ring.
While we didn't have a real fight, or maybe it was, the sex that night was out of this world. Fucking is great. I love it. Sucking cock is amazing. I love it too. But having sex with your boyfriend makes it even better. Falling asleep next to him and wanting to wake up next to him, I was so happy I can't put it into words.
Taking our time with morning showers Terry asks me what I am doing that day. Fuck! I have to get to the gym. "Terry! What time is it? Shit. I am so so sorry but I got to go."
I race to get dressed. I need to go home and get my gym clothes and shoes and get to the gym, I should be there by now.
"Why the hurry? It's the gym. We can both go after we eat."
"Sorry, it's more than that. I will call you after lunch!"
By the time I get to the gym I am an hour later than normal. I skip the treadmill since I have been running to get there and go directly into my stretches. I am tempted to hurry them up but decide to do them correctly and cut my lifting so I can leave by ten. I don't see Timothy and wonder if he left already.
Halfway into the work out I spot him doing his curls. I move to work my glutes. On my stomach I lift the weights with my legs, my ass slightly rising each time. The burn feels great. When I finish the second rep I notice someone at the station next to me. It's Wade.
"Hi Sam. Ass is looking great."
"Shhhh. You want someone to hear you?"
"Nothing wrong with saying a guy's workout is working. Is there?"
"Nope. Nothing wrong with it at all." A strange voice replies to Wade's comment.
I look over and see a guy I recognize.
"Sam. This is Ben."
"Hi Ben." I feel foolish.
"Very nice to meet you Sam. I hear you ass is a tight as it looks."
My heart drops. Wade couldn't keep his mouth shut.
I continue with my last rep knowing they are staring at my ass. At least I couldn't be busted for anything since I was just doing my set.
"Very nice." Ben says and I hear footsteps leaving.
I turn my head back and Wade is still on the next bench. "Don't worry, he won't tell anyone."
"Unlike you? Really Wade. Why?"
I finish the set and sit up looking at him. What possess a guy to talk about who he fucks?
"He and I have been trying to get you into bed for weeks. I had to tell him I won."
"You won? Am I a bet?"
"Well, sort of. Don't feel bad, we bet on most of the new guys, at least the hot ones. It's sort of a common game."
"Wade. I really don't know what to think. A common game? Betting who will be the first to fuck the new guy?"
"Oh Sam, grow up. It happens all the time. Here, at the coffee shop, anywhere a couple of gay guys hang out they are going to see who can get the fresh ass first. Happens all the time."
I look at him like he is insane.
"Don't look at me like that. Come on Sam. Don't think that guys have been trying to get you into bed and they are making a game out of it. You are a hottie. Take it as a compliment."
"You make it sound like one but it doesn't feel like one. What are going to do? Put my name down on your 'win' list? Brag at the counter how you banged me?"
"Now that would be a fun pool to start. You may have something there Sam."
"So how many guys have you bragged too?"
"And I should believe you?"
"I can tell a whole bunch more if you want."
"I don't want. And I don't want you telling Ben but I guess that isn't going to happen."
"Sam. Get off your high horse. You can't tell me you have never played your ass to get a guy. We all have. So cut the crap."
Granted he did have a point but I wasn't about to relent. "So are you going to continue bragging?"
"Possibly." He grins at me.
"If I let you fuck me again?"
"Since you offered, that works for me."
I shake my head.
"Is that a no?"
"It's a 'I can't believe this guy is blackmailing me' shake."
"Sam. You're cute. Relax and think about it. If it's any consolation, I can't today." He stood up, smiled and left.
My workout. I had to get back to it so I wouldn't be late for Scott. Finishing up I went to take a shower. Of course Ben was in the locker room. He smiled and winked at me. Wrapping my towel around my waste I walk up to him. Ben was younger than Wade. Dark dark hair, nice body and good looking, Ben was hot. He fit in with the gym rat crowd. I reluctantly admitted to myself I would have no trouble having sex with him.
"Please tell me you aren't talking about Wade and I."
"Not yet." He smirked.
"Not yet? Meaning you plan on talking about it?"
"Maybe." Devilish grin.
I knew where this was going. "Well I ask that you don't."
"Make me an offer I can't refuse." He licked his lips. Yep it was a game.
I had to get showered and to Scott's. I didn't have time for a game.
"Well? What are you offering?" Still grinning like a boy who knew he was getting a present and waiting for it to be handed to him.
"I have an appointment I need to get to so I am in a bit of a hurry."
"What are you offering tomorrow after your work out?"
Fuck him for making me say it. "My ass." I fake a quick smile.
"Let's see the meat."
I open my towel and hope no one is watching.
He smiles and turns away.