The chill of fall is in the air. No longer able to run around wearing minimal clothing I ask Terry to help me buy some new clothes. The routine that started developing in the early summer was now a part of life. I didn't mind it, routine was good, and having something to do during the week was great. Gym in the morning. Master using me on Tuesday. Steve's place on Wednesday. Weekends free.
Working for Michael had ended up being little more than a high-end escort service. Twice a day I would meet the client for sex. Some times it would be more than that like it had been the first week but mostly I took two loads a day for money. Yep, I was a rent boy.
Terry and I were, well, things were going well. We were dating now. Having a boyfriend was wonderful. Considering what I did for work, and what he did, we were able to keep that outside our relationship. From the beginning I had been honest with him about my activities. He knew I had sex with Jude at least once a week. I was still meeting up with Craig and a few other guys. Terry was fine with it. He knew it was like that before we met. I asked him once it he wanted me to stop and his reply was simple. He liked our relationship. He liked having me as a boyfriend and he knew I was new to gay sex. Rather than lose me he would rather I continued my fucking around as long as I didn't hide it from him.
Master was still enjoying my body once a week. Every time I left I felt like I was floating. He had this energy and sexual prowess that was unlike any I have ever encountered. No wonder Timothy had stayed with him. I could only imagine what their sex life was like. I did ask Timothy once about the videos. He said he couldn't talk about it. That answer wasn't satisfying so I pressed him a bit. He refused to reveal any else.
There was not much to complain about, I was happy, working and had a boyfriend I was crazy about. My sex life was far above normal in terms of quantity and quality and variety. At least in my opinion it was.
At the end of October I received a call from my Mother. It was such a surprised I didn't answer it. She left voicemail asking me to call. That was it. When Jude returned home I told him about the call and he told me to call her back. Reluctantly I did. She sounded really good and asked how things were going. We had a few minutes of the basic chat and then she asked if I was coming home for Thanksgiving. Surprise! After a moment I said I would check out flight prices and see if I could.
Jude encouraged me to go. He was correct that my Mother did love me and wanted the best for me and to cut her out of my life wasn't really a good idea. Plus, regardless of the cost of the flight I had the money. Terry agreed with Jude, as did Craig. I booked the flight called my Mom and told her the news. She was thrilled.
Michael wasn't thrilled when I told him I would be done for almost a week. He made good money on holidays and my ass not being there would cost him money. Michael wasn't always such a good guy.
Flying didn't bother me, but I was really nervous about the visit. Did she know I was gay? Who else would be there? What was I going to do for a week without sex?
Being home felt strange but sort of comfortable. My family was happy to see me and remarked how good I looked. I had forgotten that when I left I was skinny, after six months of working out five days a week I had started to turn into a bit of a hunk. Sleeping in my old bed I found the mattress was crap, my stuff was still as it was when I left. Oddly there was nothing I wanted. I boxed and bagged it all up for trash and donation. Mother was a little sad when I said I had cleaned out my old room. Her baby had really grown up, she said. If only she knew what her baby was doing!
I missed Terry and Jude more than I missed the sex. At least jerking off twice a day helped that edge from driving me crazy. I did wish I had a dildo but knew it would be a little bit too much to explain it I was found out. As Mother drove me to the airport she told me how glad she was I came and how she loved me. I told her the same. I was happy to have made the trip.
"Sam? Do you have a boyfriend in Boston?"
"Well Sam, do you? Have you met a nice boy?"
Swallowing hard and realizing my secret was likely not a secret I spoke. "Yes I do Mom."
"Oh good! I am so happy to hear it. Is he a nice boy? Why didn't you bring him?"
"Yes he is very nice. I didn't think to bring him."
"Well next time bring him, or I should come visit!"
Quickly I replied, "Next time he will come with me." Trying to prevent the idea of her visiting me in Boston off the option list.
"You better. You do use condoms don't you?"
Good grief! A conversation with my mother about sex, not what any young man wants to talk about with his parents. "Mom, please, can we talk about something else?"
"There is nothing to be ashamed about Sam, sex is natural. I just want to make sure you are being safe. At least you have a boyfriend and aren't running around having sex with strangers."
"Mom, we are not having this conversation. Let's just enjoy the last moments ok?"
"Ok. Just remember to use condoms Sam."
The rest of the drive was silent.
Terry met me at the airport and we took the train back to his place and spent the afternoon fucking. It was so needed. I told him about the visit and my conversation with my mother. He laughed and teased me. "Sam, you're an escort. You get fucked by at least a dozen different guys a week. You take it bareback from me and Jude. You are such a slut. Did you tell her?" And he burst into a bout of laughter.
The reality of what he said hurt me. I wasn't being as safe as I could be and I was a slut. It hurt enough that I got up and left. Our first fight.
Back at Jude's he asked about the trip. I was still hurt and upset. Not thinking I took some anger out on Jude, another mistake. "Jude, unless you plan on fucking the hell out of me I don't want to hear a word!" I stripped down; my ass was still a little sticky from Terry's load and the lube. "So get over here and fuck me Jude. Come on. Fuck me. I dare you!"
"No Sam. I am not going to fuck you. Stand up! What the hell is going on? You leave for the first time and when you return you are a maniac! What happened? Why are you so pissed off?"
I stood up. Looking at him, seeing his face I burst into tears. I feel to me knees and this time it wasn't to suck dick. He knelt down and put his arm around me. "Come on Sam. Sit with me." Helping me to the sofa he held me while I sobbed.
The tears slowed. I gasped for air and tried to calm down. Jude brought me a glass of water. I drank it down immediately. Jude covered me with a blanket. "Sam? Tell me everything."
"I don't know where to start."
"Just talk, let me follow."
Deep breath in and I slowly begin to babble.
Not thinking about things I let it all out. I give my confession of my fears and anger. Jude listens and hugs me and gives me more water.
"Jude I can't do it anymore. I can't work for Michael. I feel like such a whore. All I do I go to these offices and hotel rooms and get fucked by these guys who don't give a damn about me, they just want to use me. Even the money, which was cool at first, isn't fun.
"I don't understand it. I am so lost. I don't..."
"It's ok Sam. You can quit. You don't need to be working for Michael."
"Really?" Was Jude telling me the truth? I felt locked in.
"Really Sam. You can quit. Now."
"But Jude, it will piss him off!"
"Michael can deal with it. He has been running that business for years, he has had a lot of guys quit. He might be pissed but that is because he makes a lot of money off of you. Forget him."
"But. Why do I like sex with other guys? I mean, I really like it."
"Who? What other guys?"
"You. Terry. Craig. The guys I have sex with?"
"When you aren't working?"
"Sam. There is nothing wrong with liking sex. Unless you don't like it. If you aren't enjoying it, don't do it. You can quit working but you can keep having sex when you want to."
"I can? It isn't strange?"
"No. Sam. I have a little story for you."
I sat back and listened. For over an hour Jude tells me a story. His story. When he moved out east, to New York City he was young, broke and green. He ended up working as a Go Go boy. It wasn't long before he met a guy and was working as a prostitute. He was swept up into the party lifestyle, drinking, drugs, and sex for money the whole bag of tricks. One day he woke up in the hospital. He was beat up badly, broken ribs and nose. His pimp wasn't interested in helping him. All he wanted was for Jude to get his ass back to work. When Jude got out of the hospital he left New York and came to Boston. He was twenty-one.
Not having an education beyond high school, knowing no one he ended up doing some photo shoots, porn of course. He kept away from prostitution. He met Craig on one of the shoots. Craig was a year younger but in college and doing the work to make some cash. They clicked. Before long they became roommates and Craig's influence helped Jude get into community college and then into the University. He graduated and got a job. He quit porn and began to live "normally".
At least it was normal in the sense that he wasn't using or having sex to support himself. He and Craig, never lovers but fuck buddies at times continued to hook up with guys and have sex. It was their hobby for years. Both had dated and Jude even had a committed relationship for a guy for over two years. Jude really did understand my position and wanting to stop having sex for money.
We ordered a pizza and ate while Jude told me about his past. After a long hot shower, alone, I crawled into bed and slept soundly. The next morning I didn't go to the gym, I had over slept. Michael had been sending texts and emails, even called three times. I went in to see him. Terry wasn't there. I was scared shitless. He didn't look pissed off just busy. He welcomed me back, handed me a check for the previous weeks work. Standing near his desk I told him I wasn't coming back. He looked up from his papers. "Are you sure Sam? Once a guy leaves I don't like to take them back. This is a one time deal."
"I am sure."
"I guess we are square, that check covers the last week you worked. So thank you and good luck." He stood up and offered his hand. We shook and I left. As soon as I was outside the door to the building I sent a text to Jude telling him I had done it and then sent one to Terry asking when I could see him.
Jude replied immediately congratulating me. Terry didn't. Jude offered lunch so I met up with him and we chatted about regular things, not about the job I had just quit. It was nice. When I returned home I realized it was Wednesday so I changed into a pair of shorts and went up to Steve's. He was happy I was there. After cleaning I gave him a blowjob, my first in a day. I enjoyed it. It felt right.
Hanging around the apartment I was bored. No word from Terry yet. Had I fucked things up that badly?
It would be hours before Jude was home from work so I went to the gym. It was a different crowd in the afternoons. I didn't recognize anyone who was there, but did see a couple of cute guys. Focusing on my workout I realized that a week off had set me back. It felt really good to work out and I went extra hard realizing that wasn't a smart move but I didn't care.