"Hi." Smiling at Timothy I stepped inside the elevator expecting him to exit. Instead he stepped up to me and put his arm around me. I looked at him, confusion clearly on my face.

He pushed the button for the first floor. "Time to get you home Sam."

Timothy got us a cab, I gave the address and we rode silently the rather short distance. When we arrived I asked if we wanted to come inside for a little bit. He declined but offered to meet for breakfast the next morning. Inside I had two men waiting for me.

"Sam! Where have you been? We were really worried. You can't just take off like that." Jude was serious, concerned and visibly relieved.

"You left your phone Sam. After what happened, you took off and leave your phone? I seriously was scared." Craig was acting entirely different than I had ever seen him act.

Feeling really stupid I didn't look at them, I stood by the door, coat and boots on, in silence.

"Sam." Jude walked up to me. "I don't mean to sound angry but you had both of us really worried. Here, take your coat off, come and sit down. Want a cup of tea?"

"Not really." I was exhausted and wanted sleep but had this feeling I was going to get to crawl into bed immediately.

"Sam. Where were you? Why didn't you call?" Jude sat down next to me.

"I went out and ran into someone and we hung out."

"Really? I don't think any of us believe that one." Craig was returning to his normal self.

"I got laid."

"For ten hours? Sam, none of us have that ability." Yep, Craig was back to his normal self.

"It wasn't just sex, it just took a long time."

"Are you ok?" Jude asked as he leaned closer to me.

"I don't know. I am really tired. Can I just go to sleep?"

"Want company?" Craig asked.

I looked at him.

"Just sleep, nothing else. Honest."

"Sure. First I need a shower."

After a long hot shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and went into my bedroom. Craig was waiting for me. He had pulled the sheets down and was sitting on the foot of the bed. I smiled and walked up to him.

"Thanks Craig. Sorry I've been such a pain."

"Don't worry about it Sam."

I removed the towel as I stood between his knees. He looked at my chest and then into my eyes.

"Sam. Your body is beautiful. But inside you are even more attractive. Know that. Don't ever think you aren't a great person."

Placing my hands on his shoulders I smiled. "Thanks Craig. I don't feel very attractive at the moment."

He leaned into me, wrapped his arms around my waist and gave me a hug. His head was on my stomach; I could feel his warm breath on my skin. I stood still and let his strength and embrace comfort me.

Releasing me he stood and removed his clothes. He crawled into my bed, held the sheets open and nodded. Getting into bed next to him we spooned. I felt safe, warm and wanted. His arm around me was a nice weight to have after all the emotional weight. I reached for his hand and intertwined my fingers with his. Almost immediately I feel asleep.

Before I opened my eyes I felt Craig's warm body next to me. My head was nuzzled near his chest. I was half curled up inside the spoon of his body. His breathing was relaxed and steady as he slept. Without opening my eyes I took in his smell, the feeling of his body next to mine. There was a slight tingling in my groin. My right hand was resting between our bodies. Slowly moving it I lightly brushed the back of my hand along his stomach turning it as I reached his pecs. Tilting my head up I barely traced my tongue along his body until I reached a nipple. Lightly sucking on it I ran my hand softly over arm down the side of his body to his thigh.

Moving down to his cock I took it in my hand and fondled it being careful to not wake him. Of course I was going to wake him up but at the moment I wanted him to feel my touch while dreaming. His cock began to respond. I cupped his balls and rolled them in my hand. They weren't large so they fit perfectly as I held them. His breathing changed slightly. Was he dreaming about sex? His cock continued to grow. I had to stroke it. I was still sucking lightly on his nipple, stroking his cock when I felt his hand move. Lightly it touched my stomach and slowly moved up turning until he was sliding it over my hip until it came to rest on my right ass cheek. He gave a gentle squeeze. I stopped sucking and looked up at his smile. I smiled.

Raising my hip to accept his grasp he leaned back. Releasing his now hard cock I slide my hand up his torso and slowly raised myself until I was on top of him. Kissing his chest I worked my way up to his neck, over his shoulder and down his arms. His biceps were solid and felt wonderful to kiss. My own cock was hard. Both of his hands were on my ass, his hard on pressing on my abs.

One hand firmly slid up my back until it reached my neck. He carefully brought my face to his and we kissed. As we kissed we began to grind our cocks against the other. His right hand continued to kneed my ass. Working a finger toward my bud he began to massage it pressing in. I moaned. His left hand moved to my shoulder and he pressed lightly. I began to kiss and lick my way down his chest and stomach until I was able to take his cock into my mouth.

Craig had a beautiful cock and I enjoyed sucking on it. His head wasn't too large making it easy to take the entire length into my mouth and down my throat. His hands massaged my head as I enjoyed his hardness. Sucking a hard cock is such a pleasure; I loved the feeling of the warm soft skin over the hard tissue underneath it in my mouth. I relished the taste of the man on my tongue, the treat when he leaking some precum was delicious. Being able to take the entire cock in and feel his pubes on my nose was like scoring a goal.

His hands reached under my arms and he pulled my body away from his cock. He was smiling, I was smiling, and this was the way to start a day! As I raised my body his hand moved to my hips. He started to turn them. Shifting my weight to one knee I raised the other leg and swung it over his body so I was straddling him facing away. He pulled my hips towards him until my hole was at his tongue. He began to rim me. How I loved to be rimmed.

One hand on each cheek he spread my ass as he worked my hole. I moaned. Shifting my weight to my knees I rubbed my hands over his stomach and legs until I was able to take his cock into my mouth. His fingers and tongue did their dance as I rolled his cock and balls over my tongue. When he removed his hands and tongue I felt his weight shift. He began to slide away from me. I did the same. The sound of my drawer opening, the rummaging for a condom, the rip of the package was subtle. Moving into position I arched my back and braced myself.

His hands returned to my hips. My legs spread side to make room for him I waited anxiously. Those seconds as I wait for a man to press the head of his cock on my hole send sensations throughout my body. Knowing the feeling and thrill to come in just a few seconds is wildly exciting. That moment arrives and he leans into me. With only slight resistance his cock enters my hole as a moan escapes my lips. Gently and slowly sliding his cock in I arch my back and try not to lean into him. I want him to take me. When he finally has the entire shaft inside I press back. He begins to grind. My mind goes blank as I enter that place, that world where the sensations racing through my body are so intense nothing else matters. When a man knows how to fuck well there is nothing better.

His pacing, the pressure, the speed and the timing that Craig has while fucking is so skilled and practiced that time does one of those crazy dances. It is speeding by yet not moving. I have no idea how long we have been doing this dance but I am wishing it would go on forever, knowing it will end. His grip tightens. He thrusts in deep and holds his cock in place. Orgasm. When he finished he starts to slowly fuck me until his cock begins to loose its hardness. As he pulls out I turn to face him. My knee hits the wetness of my own cum on the blanket.

We kiss.

"How are you feeling this morning Sam?"


After we shower together and put on sweats we move into the kitchen. Jude is reading the paper. "Coffee?" He nods towards the pot.

Sipping our coffee we decide to stay in for breakfast. Once the dishes are cleared they have a conversation with me about running off. I feel like a kid being lectured by his parents. Their concern is honest and relevant and I feel, once again, like I fucked up. As the conversation ends I freak out. "Timothy!"

Jude smiles, "Sam. No worry. I spoke with him earlier and said I would have you call when you woke up."

"You know him?"

"Met him at the premier. He came by a while ago when you and Craig were busy. Here's his number."

Craig and Jude left to run some errands. I waited for Timothy to arrive. Jude hadn't told him anything about what had happened, it was up to me to decide what to say to Timothy.

Opening to door to let Timothy in I was taken by surprise. He gave me tulips. "Sam. I don't know what is going on but flowers make things a little better."

Once I had given flowers. To Terry. For his birthday. Never had anyone given flowers to me. Not sure how to react I gave Timothy a hug and invited him in. Timothy didn't drink coffee so I boiled water for tea.

"Timothy. Not sure where to start. This just sucks." That was how it started. Timothy listened to me as I went through the events of the last week. I told him about the trip home. How Christmas was a lot of fun and how well everyone got along. Told him about getting the key to Terry's apartment and using it the first time. He was thoughtful and caring and understanding. The strange thing was I didn't cry. Not a single tear. He asked several questions about why I came over to see Master. I told him that I needed to just escape my life and when I was at the loft I didn't have to think about anything. It was freeing to just be controlled by Master and serve him, provide him with pleasure.

This led to my own questions. Had I violated some unspoken rule? Had I overstepped my welcome? Had I interfered? Timothy smiled. What I had done was cross a line. Coming over uninvited was not something Master appreciated. However Timothy was confident that when Master knew the reason he would forgive me.

"Will you explain it to him?"

"No. You need to do that."

My gut tightened. Suddenly I was fearful of speaking to Master. "I do? How?"

"In person." Timothy took out his phone and left the table. I couldn't hear what he was saying. The anticipation was driving me nuts.

"He said you are allowed to return to the loft and explain. Get your coat."


"Now or never."

Timothy buzzed when we reached the entrance to their building. I asked why and he said to let Master know he was returning. After he buzzed he unlocked the door with his key and we went upstairs. My nerves were in high drive the closer we came to the door. Once inside he instructed me to take a seat on the sofa. I waited only a few moments before Master entered the area. Confidant and imposing I felt intimidated. He sat and looked at me without speaking. Looking at the floor I waited.

"Look at me and explain."

Looking up at his emotionless face I swallowed. My mouth was dry. "Master. Forgive me for showing up uninvited. I m sorry but I had to be here, see you and serve you. I was hurting so much and it was so deep and I just needed to let it go. I needed to be beaten and fucked. Hard. A lot. I knew you would do that to me so I came over."

He didn't move during my minute of talking. "That doesn't tell me why."

Swallowing again, shaking I feared telling him. "My boyfriend killed himself on Wednesday. I found him. I didn't know what to do and wanted to be needed. I wanted to feel something other than the pain inside."

My eyes were on his as I spoke. He looked down. After a moment he stood. I leaned back. He stepped to the side. "Come here Sam."

I think that was the first time he had ever said my name. Not knowing what he was going to do I stood and with hesitance I walked to him. He raised his arms. I wanted to flinch but feared doing so. He embraced me. "Sam. I am so so sorry."

The stress and anxiety fell away in an instant. He wasn't upset. He held me for some time. It felt good.

"Sam. Sit down. Timothy? Come join us." Master spoke in a normal voice. It was still deep and sexy but not commanding. "Sam, I want to talk as three men. Not as Master, but as Timothy, Sam and Scott." Scott. His name. I had heard it once at the studio. It was odd to hear him use it and not Master.

Scott spoke for some time. Today was turning into a day of talk. Normally I don't spend this much time in conversation, especially on topics as heavy as the ones being discussed. Scott spoke about his role and how I had used it inappropriately. He said if he had known he would not have let the events that took place happen. He also said he understood why I did it. Timothy didn't say much. Having had a long talk with him prior to this I understood he had said his piece.

Scott asked me why I was coming over weekly, what I was getting out of it. I tried to explain and found I didn't have a clear concise reason. Why was I? Talking out loud I said I loved being controlled. Loved how he pushed me to accept more and how I really loved being fucked. Then I took the chance to ask some questions that had been on my mind since the first time.

"Scott? Do you tape every week?" Would he answer?

"Yes. I tape every time I work a sub."


"Because I like to. Because I want to capture the session."

"What do you do with the tapes?" Did I really want to know?

"Why do you ask Sam?"

"Just curious. Other guys have taped me and the video ends up on line. There is a lot of it on line. I am just curious if there is even more out there."

"If there is?"

If there is? What if the videos are on line? Me being restrained, fucked, whipped, paddled and used, on line for the world to see, does it matter?

"If there is, I guess it doesn't matter really. Not now anyway. Making the video sort of makes all the other videos no big deal."

"How do you feel about stepping into the world of gay porn?" Scott asked with true curiosity.

"As Jesse Martin I like it. I loved the attention at the premier. The guys at the studio were great. The filming was interesting. I had no idea it was so much work and took so long. But seeing it was really hot. I felt sexy. I like when guys want me. I like when guys want to fuck me. I like being fucked and thinking about all the guys who are jerking off watching me on video is hot."

"Are you interested in doing another film?" Timothy asked, breaking his silence.

"Yeah. I think I am. If they are interested."



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