Our Sophomore Year

School became more intense in December but, we loved and managed to leave the weekends for us, we usually made plans weeks in advance, be it a concert in New York, or a museum, a hike while the weather was good, all those things that were reminiscent of our first “dates” together, including reminiscent of our first sexual escapades together. I will never forget the love and tenderness Josh showed me as he slowly exposed me to his body and all the sexual experiences I was too scared to show in my Midwestern hometown, he brought me out of my shell and I loved every part of him for it, I consider myself lucky that my first was my last and he made it all worthwhile. He made me feel good about myself and life itself.

We also loved to hit “Our gay bar” on some Friday nights. I absolutely loved the vibe from that place, It gave me a chance to get out of my Midwestern America wardrobe, and borrow some of Josh’s cool duds, and I was always raring to go. Tonight I borrowed a pair of Josh’s tight “skinny jeans” and a tee shirt with a cool soft light weight leather vest that hooked together with a fine gold chain, I loved the look. As soon as we hit the door with Josh’s bouncer friend, who as always waved us in, even after checking our underage licenses. I almost always darted right to the dance floor, and began rocking out with the very mixed eclectic crowd of mostly gay guys. That disco music,…. the lights,… the smoke machines,… I just hit that floor jumping and fist pumping into the air, and usually singing at the top of my lungs. Such an amazing release of pent up energy, and the guys were hot too, I kind of took pride in the guys trying to hit on me. Josh loved the place too, but not as much as me, we’d often dance together, but some nights he was content just getting our drinks and finding an available high top table with one of the few stools, he preferred to people watch. Tonight was one of those nights, I could tell by his limp, tonight wasn’t a good dance night for him, but he loved watching me having a blast out there on the floor. Josh usually drank beer but tonight he was drinking the hard stuff but that was ok because I stuck to soda simply because of the hour and a half drive back home, I was high on life and this club, and that was enough for me, I gladly took on the role of DD, much to Josh’s parents approval, especially since we were still under age.

I was busy bumping and grinding communally out on the floor, keeping my eye on Josh over in the corner, as he flashed his blue eyed dimpled smile out at me, tonight I could tell he really wanted to join in, but I knew his leg was bothering him too much, but he insisted I enjoy myself, damn Josh was the greatest boyfriend ever, I really love him and he knows it. Finally after an hour or so I realized Josh was missing from his spot as others took over the table, so I began to make the rounds to try to find him, as I pushed through the crowd at the bar, figuring he was refreshing our drinks. Then some douchy guy dumped his fruity pink cocktail all over me and Josh’s soft leather vest. So I headed toward the bathroom to try to clean it off, I didn’t want it to damage that vest, it was one of my favorites of Josh’s wardrobe. Still continuing to keep an eye out for Josh, there still was no sign of him, I finally got inside and got over to the sink and took it off and began blotting the vest with wet paper towels. It was obvious that a couple of guys were having a great fucking time in one of the stalls. It even sounded like one guys head was hitting the door with each stroke, and he was moaning pretty good. I laughed at the situation as other guys came and went, oblivious to what these guys were doing. I was getting off on their hot and heavy exchange, and found myself getting hard as I took my time cleaning the vest, just to hear it through to completion. I glanced under the stall wall and saw some black jeans with a sockless Nike Clad foot bending in obvious rhythm of his fucking. Suddenly it sounded as if they were done and as they exited the stall one guy headed toward me at the sinks to wash up, and the other guy seemed to scoot back out to the bar. I began to make light of the situation to the guy, when I looked up into the mirror, and fuck, I saw it was Josh’s ex fuck buddy who frequents the bar often. I despised this guy from the first day I ever met him when he tried to pick Josh up on our first time at this bar. I smiled at him, knowing full well what he was just doing with someone in that stall just now, I don’t know if he remembered me, but I was nice to him and pointed out he still had some cum hanging from the side of his face as he giggled and wiped it off with his finger and licked his finger clean.

With the vest as clean as I could get it, I headed back out to the bar and got me and Josh a refill and found Josh talking to some guys at the other end of the bar, saying he lost the table to some other guys, and he had a set of drinks for us as well, we got a good leaning spot on the bar together and we began making out, as we finished off our drinks, I headed out for one more dance before we decided to head home. I couldn’t help but notice Josh seemed a bit off tonight especially while we were standing at the bar.

I managed to get Josh staggering back to the car, got him in the passenger seat, as he apologized. I told him “nonsense, we deserved a good time once and a while”, but he still seemed withdrawn, I wrote it off to him being drunk, as he rarely ever got drunk drunk. I got in the driver’s seat started the car and Josh leaned over toward me and apologized again, I laughed it off shoving him back upright as I pulled his seatbelt across buckling him in. Then he said “It didn’t mean anything”. I took the bait expecting a joke and said “What didn’t mean anything”, he stared at me with a tear in his eye and said I didn’t mean to fuck him (his ex fuck buddy) tonight, now my jealous side is surfacing as I asked for details, turns out it was him in that stall,…….. as the dome lighting in the car began to fade to darkness, I looked down to the floor seeing his sockless ankles from under those black jeans, wearing those white Nike sneakers, and just then….. realizing that was Josh’s cum on that looser, who had to wipe off his face and had the nerve to suck it off his finger in front of me. Fuck! I was pissed now. Especially Josh tried to make out with me at the bar afterward. Sure Josh and I fooled around with the pool guy, the delivery guy, and the other recent encounters but that was always together and mutually agreed upon, but that fucking asshole ex, I despised that guy from the day I met him. I was livid, I really felt cheated on, we’ve been exclusive for over a year now, at least I thought we were, Fuck! I suddenly for the first time felt inadequate, why would Josh seek sex with someone else? Why? I immediately drove off angry and quiet as Josh fell asleep shortly after, I cried all the way home.

We got home and I shook Josh to let him know we were home and I went inside without him, he stumbled in behind me shortly after. He undressed and fell into bed, I undressed and looked at that naked body, that naked violated body, and walked out of his room and went to my guest room to sleep. It’s the first time since the accident that we’ve been apart at night. I cried myself to sleep as I lay under the sheet in my boxers, Christ I wasn’t even naked tonight. Why? Why did he do this to me?

I didn’t realize it, but Sometime during the night, Josh came over and joined me, he was naked, he large spooned me and wrapped his arm around my chest while he stroked my nipple with his thumb, as he always did, instinctively my hand grabbed his and I suddenly felt that relaxed comforting feeling that Josh created whenever he was around me. But when I awoke and realized it, I jumped out of bed pissed again, I began yelling at him, when Josh suddenly jumped up, grabbing me sitting me down saying, “Dave,….. please,….. hear me out” as I saw Josh cry outright as he begged me, I just stood…… put on my pants….. grabbed a shirt…… and walked out of the room angrily . I bumped into his dad in the hall, he grabbed my arm and elbow with both hands, and asked “I know it’s not any of my business but are you going to be ok son”? I said yes and thanked him as I pulled away angrily as I headed down the stairs as Josh’s dad went into the guest room seeking out Josh. I darted down the stairs and drove away in my car.

I returned about two hours later, not knowing what to expect, I came in the front door very quietly, and heard talking in the kitchen as I stood in the stately marble foyer, where the voices carried with a slight echo. It was Josh talking with his mom, very sincerely I might add. “Mom,…. I screwed up…… I don’t know what to do….. I don’t know how to fix this…. I’m such a fucking asshole”…… his mom quickly replied as a lecture being stern and firm, as I think I also heard her smack him, “watch your language boy…. You need to get off your ass and figure it out.. I’m going to be brutally honest with you, you and Dave have something, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you in the year and some months you’ve been together, you’re the best you’ve ever been and it’s because of him. You two have been through more in the past year than most married couples. Think about all that you two have done and gone through, especially the accident and how you nursed each other back, damn I don’t know if your father and I could have handled that, and further more Dave and his family helped you as well as us heal, you brought him out to be comfortable with himself and he’s made you a better person, so you may have to give him some time but you need to and will fix it…….. understand”? “yes mom, thank you, you’re right, I love that guy, more than you know”!

With that I developed a tear in my eyes and thought his mom was right, only Josh was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I tossed my keys on the side table so they could hear I was home and inside. Josh immediately came out to greet me as I headed toward them in kitchen, we met at the half way point and hugged, simultaneously and said “I’m sorry”. We turned and retreated to Josh’s room where I sat at my desk and he sat on the bed and we talked, and talked, and talked. I stood and told Josh how hurt I was, especially after I saw his ex licking Josh’s cum off his face, and how I hate that guy with all my being, he agreed, and said it will never,… ever,…. happen again, and if we ever add spice to our life with other partners it will be only if we both agree and only for fun, we love each other too much to ever allow anything or anyone come between us. Then I told him I’m still upset, he said he understood as his face went sadder if that’s possible and I approached him and kissed him on the cheek as I sat beside him, and assured him we’d get over this. I really do love him and he is the best thing in my life.