Coming Out: An after-school job leads to a sexual awakening

It’s a Wednesday night in early October in 1984 in Grand Valley, and I just arrived for work at Taco Casa. I’m a senior in one of the city’s two high schools and started work here at the end of the last school year to make money for college. My family’s not rich so every bit will help. 

I’m supposed to work tonight from 4-10, but my mom wants me to go to a family get-together — my great aunt’s birthday — at my older sister’s house so I need to persuade the manager to let me go by 7 or 8. 

My name’s Matt. I’m about 5’9’’, 140 pounds, short dark hair, brown eyes. I’m in good shape but I’m not athletic. I passed my 17th birthday over the summer. I’m pretty shy. I’ve never dated anyone. As a Midwest kid, I know I’m expected to like girls. Deep down, though, I’ve found guys attractive since I was able to look at photos in books and magazines or watch TV. Still, the words gay and homosexual seem scary and weird. 

On my arrival at the restaurant, my plan to leave early runs into a roadblock. 

My problem involves the manager tonight — Chris Mattias. He is a real ass. 

He’s in his final year at the town's other high school. He’s 18, 5’11, 150s, brown eyes, slender build. He keeps his hair short and messy. It’s kind of two-tone brown and blond. I once checked him out when he was changing shirts in the office — smooth chest with exception of some hairs beginning to grow around his nipples and a darker brown treasure trail headed into his pants. 

He’s always making rude comments to employees. With the girls, it’s sexist stuff about their breasts or asses and calling them bitches and sluts. With the guys, it’s homophobic crap. He loves the words fag and cocksucker. 

He had been dating a girl from his high school, but they broke up a month ago. He’s really increased his insults and mistreatment of everyone who works with him since. It seems like he is taking out his sexual frustrations on us. It’s common to hear things like: “Sue, I want to fuck that pussy after work.” or “Hey, Andrew and Ryan, stop stroking each other’s dicks and get to work.”

Chris is in the office with his boss — the store manager, Brian. It’s a heated discussion with Chris on the receiving end of a lecture. His arms are folded, and he has a snarl on his face. I decide I’d better wait before I ask about leaving early. 

About an hour passes. I’m taking customer orders on one of the cash registers. I see Tracy head to the office. 

A lot of guys really like her. She’s outgoing, blond, nice body. She is a member of the the tennis team at Chris’ school. The office door closes and soon reopens. She walks out and looks pissed. Chris yells to her — “If you change your mind, you know where to find me. Hey… That’s a nice ass, but you could lose a couple pounds.” 

She rolls her eyes as she passes my register. She heads to the lobby to clean tables where some customers had been seated. 

I need to ask soon if I have any chance of leaving early. I decide to go for it. Chris is leaning against the office desk when I walk in. The conversation is off to a rocky start. 

“Hey, faggot. Now, what do you want? I have work to do.” 

I explain that I’d like to leave early for a family event and name off a couple people willing to work later than their schedule. He glares at me. There is a smirk, and I notice he bites his lip. 

He says, “I’ll offer you the same deal I offered Tracy. She also wants to leave early.” 

I brace myself for something stupid. He asks, “Want to know what the offer is?” I reply, “Sure.” There is his smirk again. He reaches down and grabs his cock through his pants. “Suck it, and you can leave.”

I take it as a joke. My eyes focus on him massaging his dick. He notices my gaze. “They say fags suck better anyway, and I need some serious head.” 

There is silence between us. I don’t know what to say and am frozen. 

Then, he adds, “I know you want to do it. You play like you’re some straight prude, but I’ve seen you check guys out when you think no one is watching. Those football players last week? Yeah, I saw how you took their order. You might as well have told them that you’d spread your legs and let them fuck your pussy.”

He grips his dick harder. It’s growing inside his pants. I’m startled. Even for Chris, this is going too far. 

“Come on, Chris, just let me go. Be nice for once.” 

He laughs. “The only way anyone is leaving here early tonight is after they suck my fucking cock.” 

He takes his hand from his crotch and cups mine. I flinch and try to push his hand off me. “You might not be saying much, but your little faggot dick is. Why are you getting hard?” 

Of course, I’m getting hard. I’m 17! I’m hard a lot, and he has me thinking about things that I often think about when I jerk off — guys and dicks.

He releases my cock and leans against the desk again. “Last chance. Suck me and you can leave. Otherwise, I’ll keep you here until closing. It’s going to be a late night. Brian says the day crew complained about me and that we need to clean up better.” 

Damn. What do I do?

This isn’t exactly what I envisioned when I jerk off. My thoughts usually run to people like Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, Harry Hamlin in Clash of the Titans or Tom Cruise in Risky Business. I’ve had a lot of masturbation fantasies about fooling around with them. Those football players last week? Yeah, I had thoughts about them, too. I guess I need to be more careful about staring. 

But not Chris. Definitely not Chris. He is decently attractive, but I’ve never liked him because of his attitude. 

And actually doing it? I’ve never come close to doing anything sexually with anyone. Girls have tried to persuade me to go on dates or take them to school dances. I’ve always made an excuse. 

Mom really is expecting me tonight, though. So do I do it? What if he tells people? I don’t think anyone would believe him. If I do it, how do I do it — sucking dick. I get the concept, but this would be the real thing. A real cock in my mouth.

Suddenly, I’m hearing myself speak. I mumble OK and find myself on my knees in front of Chris. “Damn. I always wanted a fag to use,” he says. “Get busy down there.”

I unbuckle his belt, pull down his zipper and lower his pants and underwear. His cock pops out and is rock hard. 

Seven inches long. I’ve measured mine at 7 1/2 inches, and his is a little smaller. It looks huge up close. Pre-cum is leaking from his slit. A couple big veins run down the shaft to where the penis ends in a bush of dark brown hair. Behind it are two huge balls hung low. His nuts and legs are lightly covered with hair.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. I run my hands up his calves. I like the feel of his flesh touching my flesh. My face is so close to his crotch that I can smell his musk. I take in a deep breath.

Chris sits back in the office chair. He grips his dick and smacks it across my face. “One of the biggest cocks you’ll ever see. Girls love it. I’m sure a faggot like you will as well.”

My heart is racing, and I’m a little scared at what I’m doing. I’m also thinking about how to give a blowjob. I realize I should just do what I’d like. I run my tongue around Chris’ cock head and lick up the pre-cum. It’s my first time touching another cock and my first time tasting another guy’s juices. I’m mesmerized. 

I run my tongue up the underside of the cock again and again. I dive in, wrapping my lips around the cock head. I lightly press my mouth around it, feeling the soft surface and the sponginess of its nature. It’s so different than feeling my own dick in my hands. 

“Do you like that? You like tasting a dick for the first time,” Chris asks. “Answer me.”

“Yes. I like it.”

“What do you like?”

“I like your dick. I want your dick,” I reply.

I slide the shaft into my mouth, exploring its dimensions and feel as I go down. Chris lets go of his grip and latches his hands behind his head. He moans and says, “That’s it, bitch. Suck it. Suck my cock.”

I’m going up and down with my lips. I know I want to keep my teeth away. I try different amount of pressure with my lips — lightly brushing against his cock to maintaining a firmer grasp. I build up my saliva and use it to lubricate my movements. 

“Oh, yeah. Fuck,” Chris says. 

I begin using my tongue in tandem with my lips, caressing the shaft and head. At this point, I’m getting about 4 inches in my mouth without difficulty. My hands have continued exploring his legs and pubes, but now I have one around the shaft and stroke him as I suck.

I’m a buzz with new sensations. The hardness of his cock in my grip, the feel of it against my tongue and lips, just the feel of another guy’s body. It’s all amazing and new.

I’m enjoying this and trying to forget whose dick I’m sucking. My own cock is pressing hard against my pants for freedom. 

Chris is saying fuck, fuck. He then says, “Give my balls some attention!” 

I had been meaning to do so, but was so lost in having another guy’s cock in my mouth that I hadn’t had time. 

I fondle his balls, feeling their size and shape and the movement within the sac. Holding them, I lick over his sac and begin mouthing one nut and then the other before taking one in my mouth, running my tongue around it and popping it slowly out of my mouth. I repeat this a couple times. It’s yet another wave of new sensations to fill my mind. I’m like a kid in a candy store.

Between moans, Chris orders, “Oh, that’s good. You’re a regular slut. Play with them as you suck my dick, bitch.” 

I run my hand through his pubes again and take hold of his cock again. This time, I’m also massaging his balls, cradling them and rubbing them.

A sizable amount of pre-cum has run down the head. I lick it up and then mouth just his head, pressing my lips slowly over the helmet and then the ridge before backing up. I look up toward his face for approval as he lets out a deep breath. He sneers and says, “You really love sucking dick, fag.”

I spit a load of saliva onto his dick and slide it into my mouth. As I suck, I try to go deeper than before. I get about 5 of his 7 inches in my mouth before I gag. 

“A good cocksucker needs to deep-throat,” Chris says. “Let me teach you!” 

Chris presses his hands on the back of my head and pushes me down so the entirety of his cock fills my mouth. He holds my head in place and begins grinding his hips upward, sending his cock into the recesses of my throat. 

I’m gagging and feel my stomach turn, but I’m able to hold back hurling. With the gagging, I’ve coated his cock in a lot more spit. I manage to sync breathing through my nose with his thrusts. 

“Fuck, yeah. Fuck, yeah.” Chris keeps a firm grip on my head as he pumps his dick into me. 

Even after he lets go of my head, I keep up the pace with my lips and tongue albeit my strokes are shorter. My eyes are watering as I bob my head around Chris’ cock. His breathing changes to short grunts. He squirms in the chair. 

“Swallow my cum, cocksucker.” 

He really didn’t need to give me those instructions. I haven’t gone all this way to stop without tasting a full load of another guy’s cum. 

The first wave of warm, sticky fluid hits my tongue and the back of my mouth. There is a second shot, followed by a third, then a fourth. I struggle to swallow all of it. I love the taste, salty and sweet at the same time. 

I back off his dick and wipe the cum that dripped out my mouth. My hand holding his dick strokes it upward one more time. More cum gurgles out. I lap it up with my tongue. Chris quivers as I do so. I run my tongue around it one last time as his cock slowly loses its rigidity. 

“Damn, bitch. I really nutted.” 

I’m still on my knees as Chris stands and pulls up his underwear and pants. 

I think of the tastes of his cum in my mouth. It is so incredible. Not that it’s Chris’ cum, but that it is some guy’s cum in my mouth that I sucked out of their cock and am swallowing. I’m in ecstasy but angry about the circumstances. I never thought I'd actually do this. 

I stand and say, “So, I can leave now?” 

He laughs and says, “First, you need to say that you love my cock and are going to be my cock bitch.” 

I sigh and repeat, “So, I can leave now?” 

Chris sneers. “You loved it. Think of all my sperm swimming around your stomach.” 

He reaches over and grabs my crotch. There is no lying. My cock is hard. Chris says, “Yep, you loved it. You can go. A fag like you must really want to jack off after tasting a real man’s seed.”

He is right -- while I didn’t want this to happen and agreed only so I could leave, I did enjoy what I just did. Well, maybe not the forced face-fucking at that one point. Still, the feel of his dick and balls and cum. Oh my God. What the hell is happening to me? 

Chris says, “So, you need to thank me. Not everyone gets to suck a cock like mine. You should be more appreciative.”

I talk softly, somewhat mockingly. “Yes, Chris. Your cock was huge. It wrecked my mouth. I couldn’t take all of it. You saw — I gagged and choked because it was so huge. That load! I had trouble swallowing it, but I wanted to swallow it and I did the best I could.”

Chris tucks his cock and balls into his pants. “I expect better next time. A faggot needs to learn her place.”

I say, “Yes, sir.” I leave the office, punch out and head toward the back door. But Chris isn’t through. 

“Hey, Tracy, you’re on cash register for the rest of your shift. I’ve decided this little cock-sucker can leave early. You need to learn that you gotta do what you gotta do.”